


Hoping against Hope

by NotPatrick



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Chewie is my father figure, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Family Reunions, Finn is adopted, Fluff, Kidnapping, M/M, No Pregnancy, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Recovery, Rey is adopted, Slow Burn, Such a slow burn, can you tell i love gardening, cricket discourse, incorrect legal stuff, incorrect portrayal of therapy, it's meant to be America but really it's England, seriously slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 124,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotPatrick/pseuds/NotPatrick
Summary: When Rey Kanata escapes captivity after being missing for seven years the lives of her loved ones are turned upside down as everyone struggles to cope with her sudden disappearance and equally sudden return. Now a different person than she used to be putting back together the life they lived before will never be possible.
Relationships: Chewbacca/Maz Kanata, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 377
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is something new I've started to write after being inspired by the fic 'Find Me' and the BBC show 'Thirteen'. There will be descriptions of abuse and non-con but I will leave tw in those chapters. At this point I'm not quite sure where this will go beyond a basic out line but hopefully it turns out ok.

Maz Kanata's life exists firmly within the confines of before and after. Before is a simple, happy life. One of a loving marriage and close relationship with her daughter, living next to her friends in a quiet town and helping to run a diner. After is a life of grief and uncertainty, each day consisting of mourning her daughter and hoping against hope for her return. Even as the years went on, the case grew cold and other people began to speak about Rey as if she was dead Maz and Chewie continued to believe she was out there and would return to them.

-

When Leia had invited Maz and Chewie over that day to celebrate Finn’s engagement there had been a bittersweet element to it and Ma would be lying if she said she did not tear up thinking about it. She was undeniably happy for Finn; he was loving and supportive and deserved the world and although she felt 21 was a bit young to become engaged she saw no faults in his and Poe’s relationship. She was sad as another milestone passed without Rey being there with them. Rey and Finn had always been best friends; they had lived next door to each other their whole lives and were the same age. Always partners at school they walked home together everyday unless Finn had sports or Rey had robotics. Whilst Rey had never really been close to Han and Leia’s older son Ben Finn had always been there for her. Maz felt that it was so cruel for Rey to miss this as she had done with everything else in the past 7 years but she didn’t want to be a downer on Leia’s lunch. Ben would definitely be there now he was living with his parents again and that would supply enough negativity for everyone to cope with. 

Turning away from the photo of Rey as baby on the table in the hallway Maz called up to Chewie to hurry up or else they would be late, something they had no excuse for living as close to the Solos as they did.

“Calm down darling I’m ready to go. Y’know Leia won’t mind if we’re a little bit late,” answered Chewie as he crashed down the stairs in the clean shirt Maz had forced him into, one of Rey’s silver earrings glinting out from under his endless hair and beard. 

“That’s just not true and you know it. She’s been planning this for ages so we need to leave. Now!”

Turning to the door to leave Maz grasped her husband’s hand desperate as she put a happy face on for the other. Feeling his equally desperate grip she knew he felt the same and she felt ready to leave for Leia’s. They had been in this together for 7 years and would keep in it together until they died if necessary. 

-

Walking up the path to the Solo’s house Chewbacca felt like absolute shit. He felt like shit that his girl was gone, had been gone for years and would maybe never get to celebrate something like this and he felt like shit because this was not meant to be about either him or Rey but Finn. Finn, who had been there through thick and thin for them, who had lost his childhood too that day and who had found the love of his life and simply wanted to eat lunch with everyone. Chewie had cried over her when putting on smarter clothes but had washed his face, set his shoulders and focused on the happier things. 

Already from outside the house he could hear the raucous conversation that always followed Finn, Poe and Han and nodded to himself. He would enjoy himself now and feel like shit later. He wouldn’t spoil the day.

“Chewie! Maz! Mum was beginning to worry you weren’t showing up!” Finn’s beaming smile greeted Chewie as the door was opened before he had even knocked and Chewie immediately pulled Finn into a massive hug.

“I was doing no such thing. I simply wondered if someone should run over to collect them is all.” Leia breezed past Finn and Chewie and took Maz’s hands in her. Chewie looked on as the women shared a single moment between them before Leia was ushering everyone into the house and to lunch. 

-

Lunch was jovial, a genuinely happy occasion where Chewie didn’t feel as though he was pretending to seem happy. The love between Finn and Poe was always clear to see but now seemed stronger than ever, Han was getting louder and funnier with every glass of wine he drunk and even Ben appeared to be smiling sometimes, once or twice even speaking. 

“So then I turn around and he’s on two knees! Not one! Who gets down on two knees to propose to someone?” Finn was telling the proposal story to the table over dessert and apparently he found fault with how Poe had got down to propose.

“I panicked! I was worried you were going to say no and couldn’t think straight!”

“You’ve never done anything straight,” was Finn’s response to this, love and affection clear to hear in his voice, “You know I’m teasing. It was magical.”

Just as Han began the story of how he proposed to Leia Maz’s phone rang and Chewie watched her as she stepped out of the room to answer it, knowing she didn’t want to stop Han’s story even though they had all heard it many times before. Turning his attention back to the table Chewie almost didn’t notice his wife’s reentry to the room.

Maz was standing in the doorway clutching at her phone looking worryingly pale for a woman with her complexion. Chewie was by her side in an instant, taking her hand and trying to get her to sit down, shocked by how firmly she stayed rooted to the spot. 

“Babe what is it, what’s wrong?” Chewie felt himself begin to frantic as she turned to look at him, her face emotionless.

“We need to go.”

“What’s happened? Please tell me love.”

“They said there’s a girl. She could be Rey.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Solo's consider the new development in Rey's case while waiting to hear more

Ben couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his heartbeat. He watched as everyone sat in shock at Maz’s words before they leapt up trying to help them get out of the house and to the police station as soon as possible. Whilst the others gave empty words of comfort, got keys and coats, offered to driver them Ben slipped away from the kitchen and into the basement. 

It won’t be her. It won’t be her. It won’t be her.

The only coherent thought Ben could form repeated itself over and over in his head, a depressing mantra that only served to frustrate and anger him. Of course it wouldn’t be her. She had been gone for 7 years and there had never even been any real leads in her case beyond the fact she didn’t return from school one day. Finn would always speak about how the case had grown cold over the years but really it had been a dead end from the moment she had left her last class.

Falling onto the pull out bed Ben had moved down here for himself he stared at the black screen of the TV until he felt himself begin to calm down enough to be able to think properly, his mind easily filling with memories of Rey and the way he had ruined his life in the past 7 years to the point he was now living with his parents again at 31.

Ben had never been close to Rey and he admitted this. By the time the Kanata’s next door had adopted a 4 year old he was already too busy being angry and emo all the time to care and she had never really come into his life beyond being the little girl who lived next door or his younger brother’s best friend. He had never denied they weren’t close, hating the way it seemed like he was exploiting what happened to her for sympathy or to get people to like him on the rare occasion he would talk about her.

Fuck, he hadn’t even been at home when it all happened. He had been minding his own business at college ignoring his whole family as much as possible when Finn had called him asking if he had heard from Rey recently. He had told Finn of course he hadn’t, Ben had probably said about ten words to her the whole time he had known her, why would they be in touch? Then Ben had told Finn he was too busy to talk and had hung up, not letting Finn explain. He had found out by watching the news that night. 

Getting up to pace around the room Ben thought about everything that had happened since. How had he, who didn’t even know Rey, not really, somehow coped worse than her own parents? Maz and Chewie had stayed strong, stayed optimistic, had always believed she was out there and would return. Leia and Han who loved Rey like a daughter had helped with the case, tried to keep it alive and had supported the Kanata’s through thick and thin. Finn had lost his own childhood as well as his best friend but had still managed to make something of himself, helped others and become a stronger person because of it all. 

All Ben had managed was to talk about Rey like she was dead right from the start and get mixed up in a bad scene until it all became too much and he ended up living with his parents again, sleeping in the basement because he drew the line at staying in his childhood bedroom. 

Deciding against wearing the floor down through his distracted pacing Ben fell back into his bed again, waiting for someone to come downstairs and tell him if it really was her.

-

Unsure if he had been down there for a few minutes or a few centuries Ben made his way back upstairs after no one had told him anything. Although unsurprising given his general miserableness and the fact he was never involved in any of their lives much he still felt hurt by this. Rey had possibly returned and no one had come to talk to him about what was going on. 

His parents were nowhere to be seen but Finn and Poe were sitting at the kitchen table in silence, Poe clutching Finn’s hands.

“Where’re Mum and Dad?”

“Mum’s next door making sure things are sorted. Dad’s in the garage,” Finn replied to him without looking up, his eyes staying rooted on his and Poe’s hands.

“How are you doing?” Ben asked after a while, knowing the question was ridiculous the moment he said it but he feeling like he should say something as the silence between the three of them was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

“Don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s not her. Don’t know what I’ll do if it is her.” Ben watched on as Finn got up, shook Poe off and headed upstairs. 

Poe began to follow him but Ben felt himself step in front of Poe blocking his path

“Let him go. He’s probably gonna go through all his pictures with Rey. Might want to be alone.”

“I think I know what he wants better than you. You hardly talk to him.” Poe shock back at him.

“Wouldn’t he still be holding your hand if he did want you?” Ben hadn’t meant for this to sound as harsh as it did but conversations with Poe always went this way. He couldn’t help it. He just didn't like him. 

Strangely though Poe visibly deflated in front of him and went back to sit in his chair holding his head in his hands. 

“You doing alright there?” It was fucking stupid to keep asking this but Ben felt like he had to. Everyone looked so defeated at what should’ve been good news.

“No.”

At hearing that Ben turned away and walked back into the basement, thinking about Rey.  
-  
Leia had long ago finished sorting things out at the Kanata’s house. All she had to do was put clean sheets on the bed and make sure that there were a few clothes in the wardrode that would fit Rey, who knew how much she had grown in the past few years. God knows Ben had changed drastically from 14 to 21. 

She found herself standing for the first time in years in Rey’s bedroom staring at it. She knew Maz and Chewie hadn’t changed anything about it and always kept it clean for their daughter but no one else ever came in. Now standing in it she was struck at just how preserved it was. The endless optimism and determination of Maz and Chewie clear to see in their refusal to take things down, paint the walls or change the furniture. Not for the first time Leia wondered if she would have that same determination if it had happened to her or if she would have accepted her missing child as dead and tried to move on. 

Snapping herself out of her reverie Leia moved to go back home and wait for any news, either from Maz or the police or maybe a news channel, although she knew Rey’s reappearance would be kept as secret as possible. 

Coming back into her house Leia found Poe sitting alone in the kitchen, the evidence of lunch long cleared away, deep in thought.  
“Tea?” Leia offered hoping she wouldn’t startle Poe.

“Please. Make one for Finn too?” 

“I’ll make enough for everyone” Leia smiled at Poe fondly, glad of his presence. She had been the one to introduce Finn and Poe two years ago when Poe had started to work for her and would always be happy that they had hit it off so well. Maybe she would get the grandchildren she wanted from them, having long ago given up hope that Ben would be able to maintain a proper relationship let alone get married and have children. “Where are they all anyway?”

“Finn’s in his old room, Han’s out in the garage and Ben’s lurking in the basement. No one’s exactly talking,”

“What’s there to say?” Leia hated how pessimistic that sound but she believed it. How do you even begin to talk to each other about something like this? Especially in a family were communication hasn’t always been a strong point. 

“Heard from Maz and Chewie?” Poe took the mug she offered him and watched as she put the others on a tray to carry around.

“Not yet. Chewie said they’d let us know but that if she’s coming home we won’t be seeing them for a while.” With that Leia took her tray of tea and headed to Finn’s room, trying to suppress the part of her that really wanted to see Rey as soon as possible because she knew that that desire was largely motivated by curiosity than concern for Rey’s wellbeing. Not that she wasn’t concerned for Rey. 

At the sight of the door to Finn’s old room being shut Leia paused outside. Hearing the sounds of muffled crying and music that she knew Finn hadn’t properly listened to for 7 years Leia knocked softly.

“There's tea in the hallway for you sweetheart. I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

The sound of crying got quieter but Leia had long ago learnt Finn liked to be alone during moments he thought of as weakness and so turned away.   
There were no sounds of tears or music outside the basement door but something about the eerie silence was almost worse. Opening the door after knocking once Leia saw Ben lying on the bed staring at the ceiling blankly. 

“Tea for you,” she said leaving the mug on the bedside table.

“What’s tea going to do?” despite having grown used to Ben’s surliness it still annoyed Leia to hear him dismiss every word or gestured she offered him.

“Humour me,” was her simple response and left the basement without shutting the door.

With her own mug Leia went to the garage, seeing Han sitting on a box and staring at his old car, beyond use really but that he kept for the sentimental value. Wordlessly he moved over and she joined him. Sitting on a dusty box in a musty garage they wait for any news from their friends. 

-

When Han’s phone finally rung the sound echoed through the garage for a moment before either him or Leia properly registered it. 

Seeing that it was Chewie calling them he quickly answered, praying for good news. 

“Chewie? What’s up?” Han cringed at his wording.

“Its, uh, it’s her Han,” at this Han’s eyes grew wide and he turned to Leia nodding before speaking again.

“How is she? Is she coming home?”

“Yeah we’re all heading home now. Only your lot and the police know so, y’know keep it quiet and, uh, don’t expect to see us much for a bit I guess,” 

“Sure, of course, whatever you need we’ll do,” Han meant his words, they would always do what the Kanata’s needed.

“Thanks mate, I guess we’ll speak soon?”

“Whenever your'e ready. But how is she? How is Rey?” 

The long silence at the other end of the line that preceded Chewie’s answer didn’t fill Han with a good feeling.

“She’s not good. Doesn’t need hospital. But she’s not good.” Before Han could talk again Chewie ended the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Maz and Chewie POV and reintroduction of Rey.  
> I don't know how much I'll write from Rey's perspective. It's a lot different from the others and so it may not be as often, especially when I want to pick up the pace in certain areas.   
> hope u enjoyed :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maz and Chewie reunite with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- there is a brief description of her appearance and mannerisms in this chapter, nothing graphic or detailed.

Walking up the steps outside the police station Chewie was pretty certain he had broken his wife’s hand given how tightly he was holding it. The past 7 years of desperation and panic seemed to have gathered within him and he was unsure of how he had managed not to collapse to the ground yet, let alone manage to calmly walk towards this. 

“What if it isn’t her?” Maz’s voice broke through Chewie’s train of thought, sounding so small and unsure, so unlike the woman he has been married to for years.

“It will be,” hoping the surety in his voice assuages some of his wife’s fear, “It has to be.”

Nodding, seemingly more to herself than to him, Maz began to walk towards the station doors and Chewie followed. 

Stepping into the station felt like stepping backwards in time. At the beginning they had always been there, talking to detectives, giving interviews, identifying items that had been found. As time had gone on and the case had grown colder they had been there less and less frequently till they hadn’t been there for years, the police having stopped working on the case due to lack of leads or public interest. Now as he looked around the place looked so much like it had on that day 7 years ago. Police were frantically talking, detectives who looked too important for their sleepy town brushing past them and Chewie couldn’t help but wonder if this was all for Rey or had it always been this busy and he had simply not noticed in his grief. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Kanata?” at the sound of a young woman’s voice Maz and Chewie turned around to face a dark haired woman with a young man by her side. Although clearly important people Chewie was struck by how young they seemed. Had he grown old?

“I’m Detective Erso, this is my partner Detective Andor, we’re the detectives working on your daughter’s case,”

“Can we see her?” Cutting her off Chewie spoke in what he registered at the back of his mind was rude and demanding tone however he could not be bothered to care about manners now, there were far more important things to be considered. 

“If you follow us to somewhere more private we can all talk,” Detective Andor spoke this time, not answering the question that had been asked.

Chewie turned to his wife with his eyebrows raised, silently asking if they should go with the detectives or make a scene in the lobby. Maz’s minute nod was all he needed to turn back to Detective Andor, “Ok. Where would that be?”

“Through here.”

Following Detective Andor the group made their way through corridors to a room Chewie knew all too well; he had spent hours camped in this room waiting for anything to happen, anyone to tell them anything. He watched as Maz let go of his hand and went to sit on the faded floral sofa, pausing for a moment before going to join her.

When the detectives had sat in the chairs opposite he spoke again, less rudely but with even more frustration.

“Can we see her?” At this the detectives paused for a moment before Erso spoke again in a carefully measured way, reciting what was clearly a prewritten spiel.

“Earlier today a distressed young woman came up to a man on the outskirts of town, towards the west. She told him her name was Rey Kanata and that she had been kidnapped and imprisoned for 7 years and asked for him to call the police. When officers arrived she repeated herself to them and was taken to the station here,” pausing for a moment Erso took in the wary expressions of Maz and Chewie before continuing, “after a physical examination it was decided she did not need to go to the hospital and so has remained here where she has given police a brief explanation of the events surrounding her abduction and subsequent imprisonment. The DNA test that has been performed confirms that she is Rey Kanata.”

At this Maz let out a gut wrenching sob and pressed her hands to her chest, but Chewie did not feel that same relief his wife did.

“She’s been here long enough for you to perform a DNA test but we were only just told? Why haven’t you called us sooner!” His voice almost raising to a shout at the end Chewie demanded of the police, desperation evident in his tone, “We wait for 7 years while you all declare her dead then don’t even get told when she comes back!”

The detectives looked at each other for a moment before Andor spoke up.

“We wanted to assess her physical health as well gain an understanding of what she has been through before contacting you so the appropriate arrangements can be made.”

“Will she be coming home with us?” Maz voiced the question that was also on Chewie’s mind but that he was unable to ask in his anger, knowing they both wanted her home with them not in a hospital or police housing. 

“After we have finished our initial interviews then yes, she can return home, however she will need to continue to talk to the police after that.” 

The clipped professionalism of the detectives was beginning to truly irritate Chewie. His patience had long run thin and now all he wanted was to see his daughter. What was going to happen after that could wait, could be sorted out later. Now he needed to see her.

“Let us see her.” 

Both detectives began to get up with Chewie and Maz preparing to follow them before they were stopped. 

“We’ll bring her here. To you.” Detective Erso told them as she and Detective Andor left the room, leaving Maz and Chewie alone staring at the door. 

“Where’s she been Chewie? What’s happened to her?” Maz’s questions an emotionless ring to them, one Chewie recognized as the speech of someone trying to hold themselves together. 

“We’ll find out. She’ll tell us,” Chewie felt he sounded more convinced of this than he actually was but thought that at this point honesty didn’t matter. He wasn’t sure what did matter beyond seeing their daughter again.

They stood together in silence staring at the door for what felt like years. Eventually Chewie moved to stand behind Maz and rested his head on her shoulder with his arms wrapped loosely around her, ready to pull her into his body and never let her go if this went badly. When the door began to open again he looked up from his intense study of her hair to see both detectives step into the room, a figure behind them. Someone who seemed more like a ghost than a person. 

Chewie only had a moment to take in the figure before him. To notice how thin she was, how her skin was the color of the white paper gown she was in, how she had aggressively dark bruising scattered about her. Just as he truly registered who she was and that her eyes had not changed at all he felt his wife rip herself from his loose grip and step towards this girl, grabbing her in a hug that seemed to overwhelm her from a moment before she latched onto Maz with an equal intensity. 

At the sight of how her pale hands gripped at Maz’s shirt desperately Chewie talk one step forward and wrapped himself around both of them, fitting them easily into his body. He had never been so grateful for his size than in this moment, holding them and knowing he would never let himself be parted from this again. 

-

Maz could feel the way Rey was shaking in her embrace and loosened her grip before finally stepping away as Chewie also let them from his arms, instead easily wrapping an arm around Rey’s body. She took her daughter’s face in her hands and finally looked at her, the pain of the past 7 years more than making up for what she saw. Her thinness or bruising made her no less beautiful than she had been at 14 but although she was still entirely recognizable as Maz’s beautiful girl she still felt her heart break when she looked at her. Her daughter had grown up into a young woman and she had not been able to see it. Just as the weight of all those lost years began to break Maz up, Rey spoke.

“Can I, can we go home?” her voice seemed smaller than Maz remembered it, rougher too but undeniably Rey’s voice, the sound of which Maz only really remembered through videos.

“Of course. The moment they let us.” 

At hearing her words Rey slumped to the side slightly and into Chewie who grasped her more tightly and began to lead her to the sofa where the three of them sat together in silence, simply holding each other.

-

The sun had long set by the time Chewie and Maz returned home. Detective Erso had driven the while Detective Andor followed after Chewie had found it difficult to leave his daughter’s side even to drive them all. The police had confirmed they would not be staying with them although there would be a police detail monitoring the house to help keep Rey safe. 

Speaking to Han had shaken Chewie up inside. Something about verbalizing Rey’s state had made it so much more real. The longer he spent with her the more he noticed the way she jumped at loud noises or clung to his side, and every time someone new approached she seemed to shrink in on herself. He tried to tell himself that this would pass; that is was the result of limited human interaction over the years but that did very little to calm him down. 

What did calm him down was seeing Rey’s face again as they stepped out of the car and saw their house. Her look of wonder and the easy smile that spread across her face made him feel infinitely better. Her happiness helped him to put his heart back together again. 

The detectives confirmed they would come to the house tomorrow but wished them a good night and let the family enter the house themselves. As Maz, Rey and Chewie all stood in the hallway of their home with the door locked behind them Chewie felt as if the very last remnants of his fear disappear. It didn’t matter to him where Rey had been or what had happened to her, all that matter was that she was here now and he would do anything he could to make her smile like she had outside again.

“Do you want anything, sweetheart? Any food or a drink?” Maz was gently wringing her hands as she stood looking at Rey, clearly wanting to help her and not just stand in the house as they had done for several long moments. 

“Can I just have a shower? And then maybe go to bed?” Rey seemed utterly exhausted by what had happened and so Maz and Chewie were keen to agree to this. “Is my room still, um, there?” looking up as she asked this Rey spoke gently but it seemed to matter to her deeply.

“Yes. We couldn’t, we could never change it. Kept it ready for you” and when Chewie said this Rey smiled again, this time softly with gratitude clear to see in her eyes.  
Following Rey’s careful ascent of the stairs Chewie and Maz couldn’t help but lurk in the hallway outside the shower while she was in there, Maz by Rey’s bedroom and Chewie leaning on the wall by some family photographs. Neither of them spoke, but now the silence wasn’t tense or anxious, it was patient. They were both simply waiting for Rey to be finished so they could see her again. 

When she did step out, drowning in one of Chewie’s t-shirts with wet hair Maz went into her bedroom to turn on the light by the bed while Chewie stepped forward to hug Rey. Holding her tightly to his chest he spoke to the top of her head. 

“I love you. So much. We both do,” was all he could manage before he began to feel himself getting choked up. The moment he let go of her Maz swooped in to hug Rey herself, mumbling something into Rey’s ear that Chewie couldn’t hear. 

“Please come and get us if you need anything sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to ask,” she said as she stepped back. Rey nodded mutely and went into her bedroom, taking it in. Endless emotions seems to cross over Rey’s face before she smiled to herself softly and moved to sit on her bed. 

“I thought I would forget it. Or that maybe you would’ve made it into a different room,” moving under the covers Rey smiled again at her parents repetition that they had never been able to consider doing that, not to her room. 

When she was wrapped up under the covers Chewie moved forwards and kissed her head, just as he had done when she was a small child, uncaring of the fact that she was now an adult woman and would perhaps not want her father to treat her like a child. But when Maz also kissed her she simply held Chewie’s hand for a moment before turning out her bedside light and rolled over to face the wall away from her parents. Pulling the door slightly shut Chewie and Maz made their way towards their own bedroom and began getting ready for bed despite the early hour, knowing that they had all the time in the world to be with Rey and they would be endlessly up in the night to check on her, to confirm that it was all true. 

Neither of them slept properly that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: the next morning in the Solo household. Includes POV from Finn and Poe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning at Solo house.

When Finn woke up he was struck with an immediate feeling of homesickness, the origins of which he could not figure out. He had never lived anywhere except this town, had never had any home beyond his parents house. Even when he had met Poe and they had begun a serious relationship Poe had moved in with him and Leia, understanding of Finn’s inability to leave. With Rey gone and Ben having cut ties with his family Finn was the only child left for both the Solo’s and the Kanata’s, taking on the role of being everybody’s son and staying at home. Maybe in moments when he was walking past his old high school or working at his father’s garage he felt frustrated that he had never been able to see anything more of the world but these moments were few and far between. 

Unable to understand why he now felt this way Finn carefully extracted Poe from his arms, keen to find his parents and hear news of Rey. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see her for a while; Maz and Chewie more than deserved to be alone as a family for a while but he desperately wanted to. 

A hundred questions floated through his head with a thousand possible answers as he went into the kitchen, finding his mother on the phone. Eavesdropping on her conversation while he waited to talk to her he quickly gathered she was organising time off for herself and Poe for the time being, saying that they needed time to be together as a family and that she wasn’t sure when they would be able to return to work. Although he knew his mother loved Poe and thought of him as family hearing her talk about them both as part of the same unit seemed to dispel his strange feeling of homesickness.

Feelings of worry and discomfort immediately took their place however as he wondered if would Rey feel that way about Poe. He had never even come out to her and now the thought of having to introduce her to Poe as his fiance filled him with dread. This was a situation he had considered every time he had imagined Rey’s return since he had met Poe but now that his hypothetical worries were reality he was terrified. 

If she didn’t like or approve of him what would he do?

Watching his mother put her phone down Finn finally moved into the kitchen and began to get himself breakfast, unsure of what exactly he wanted to ask her. 

“Have you heard from Maz and Chewie today?” This seemed like a safe place to start.

“No. I’ve not heard anything since Chewie’s call last night. I keep thinking about calling them but that seems rude. Or inconsiderate.” Leia began to worry at her lip, her desire to hear from her friends clearly at war with her desire to give them space.

“Maybe we should call later? Like in the afternoon or something. I mean they might not even be awake, yet it is kind of early,” Finn was as desperate to hear from the Kanata’s as his mother but also didn’t want to overstep anything. Maybe just giving them some time to settle down and then contacting them later would be good. Or they might call themselves later this morning. And then he could see Rey after lunch. And it would be like nothing had ever happened.

Finn shook his head at his train of thought. He had to be patient and wait to see her, whether that was tomorrow or in a few months, but he couldn’t rush into anything no matter how much he wanted it. Finishing up making some breakfast he took it back up to his room, intent on getting through the day until he otherwise.

And if he ended up sitting in his closet again crying over his photo album then he would just have to cope with that as it happened. 

-

The difference between the easy laughter and conversation that they had enjoyed yesterday at lunch and the careful civility they now were experiencing left Poe reeling. Everyone was avoiding any mention of what had happened yesterday beyond receiving confirmation that they still had yet to hear from the Kanata’s and that the story had been kept quiet from the press. Not that the table was silent either. It was exactly like the majority of the meals they ate together, only everyone’s minds were clearly far away from the table, conversations tapering off into long silences.

At least Ben wasn’t there. Poe was grateful for that small mercy.

Poe felt entirely justified in his dislike of Ben. Although it was true they had never really spoken and Poe had never even made any real attempts at conversation with him Poe thought that Ben was an arrogant asshole who fucked with his mother’s feelings and ignored his brother despite Finn’s endless efforts to form a better relationship with him. When Poe had learnt of what had happened to Rey a couple months into his relationship with Finn his dislike of Ben had only grown. He knew what everyone was going through yet Ben had still chosen to cut them all off and only return into their lives when things finally went too far for him and he needed somewhere to stay. With lunch as tense as it already was he was glad Ben has chosen to sulk in the basement all day instead of maybe, y’know, seeing what was happening next door or helping his parents. 

-

“Do you want me to move out somewhere else? While this is all going on?”

Finn’s head snapped up to look at Poe. They had ended up sitting on the bench in the garden together after lunch, quietly enjoying each other’s company, occasionally talking on pointing something out to the other but mostly just sitting with their own thoughts. He was so taken aback by hearing Poe suggest this that it took him a moment to collect his thoughts before he could reply.

“Why would you do that?”

“I just, feel like I’m imposing on something. I mean I don’t even know her and its such a big thing. I’m not saying we break up but like I could give you some space,” the hesitancy in Poe’s voice was easy to hear and Finn knew that whilst he meant what he was saying he didn’t actually want to do anything like leaving. Moving closer to him Finn took his hand and turned his body to look at Poe properly but Poe’s focus remained on the garden in front of them. 

“You’re not imposing, you’re the love of my life and I need you here. You’re part of my family now,” Finn paused after saying this, willing Poe to face him, kiss him, show that he believed what Finn was saying, “Mum and Dad love you, so do Chewie and Maz and I know Rey will when she meets you,” perhaps sensing that Finn was beginning to get emotional Poe finally turned to him and held Finn’s gaze, “I love you. Stay here.”

Before Finn could go any further Poe leaned in and kissed him gently, his relief at Finn’s words palpable and Finn smiled slightly. He understood where Poe was coming from and knew he would feel the same if their roles were reversed, but also understood that Poe didn’t want to go anywhere really. Just as Chewie and Maz and his parents faced things together he and Poe would too.

-

It was a dick move. Ben knew this but he couldn’t help himself. He really felt like he couldn’t face doing anything beyond staying in his bed or roaming his room, not even mustering the energy to workout or at least go on a run. 

Overnight the gravity of the situation had sunk in on Ben and he had begun to feel overwhelmed by it all. So instead of leaving his room to ask for updates or offer any kind of support for his family, all of whom were far more entitled to feeling emotional at this than he was, he stayed downstairs with just his few belongings and his overactive mind for company. 

He wasn’t able to resist getting his laptop and googling Rey however and ended up rereading all the articles and statements that had been written over the years. It was all things he had read before, from her Wikipedia page to forums where her case was discussed between true crime fans but he couldn’t stop himself from looking at it all again, this time with the knowledge that she had been alive and hidden somewhere all this time. She had been alive and he had been wrong.

The shame of believing that Rey had been dead was beginning to settle deep within him, accompanied by the guilt of not even talking to her parents let alone doing something like help look for her. Not that his involvement would have changed anything. If the fucking police couldn’t find her why would he be able to. Still he knew that he should’ve, that he shouldn’t have given up as quickly as he had done. 

It was well into the afternoon by the time Ben was too hungry to stay downstairs any longer. He was glad that when he went upstairs no one seemed to be around. He could see Finn and Poe sitting out in the garden together, looking sickeningly in love, and assumed his parents were somewhere around the house. His mother was probably in her office or in the garage with his father.

Just as he was moving towards the cupboards to find something to eat Ben heard the sound of a muffled crash and jumped a foot into the air at the sudden noise. He was just about to call out to his parents when he realised that the noise had come from next door rather than somewhere in his own house. If the true weight of it all hadn't hit Ben, before it did now and it seemed to knock his breath from his body. 

Ben stood still in the kitchen for a moment, unsure of what to do. He knew that someone could’ve dropped something next door or something equally mundane could’ve occurred, but knowing what he did Ben couldn’t help but feel like that wasn’t the case. Eventually he pulled himself from the spot he had been stuck to and began his way upstairs until he found his mother’s study. Knocking once Ben prepared himself for what he knew would be a frosty reception. 

“Yes?” his mother’s voice wasn’t explicitly an invitation in but taking it as one anyway Ben walked in.

“Have you heard anything today?”

“No.” Leia’s clipped tone signaled to him that the conversation, as short as it was, was over.

Going back to his cereal and then to his basement Ben felt all his shame and guilt grow inside him and drown everything else out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Maz and Chewie get reacquainted with Rey and try to make plans for their future together.  
> im working towards a reunion of everyone at which point the pace should begin to pick up a bit and things will hopefully become less sad


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile at the Kanata's.

Never once in his life had Chewie considered himself a morning person. Sure he was able to get up promptly in the morning but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it and he took every opportunity to sleep in at the weekend. Standing in his kitchen staring at the dawn however he began to feel a certain appreciation for the morning, the way that a slight haze that covered everything made him feel safe, hidden from the world, with just his family. Alone in their own fortress together. 

The soft sound of footsteps pulled Chewie out of his musings on the nature of dawn to find Rey standing in the doorway of the kitchen, seeming afraid to come in any further. He felt somewhat reassured by seeing her up so early; unlike him Rey had always been a morning person and he hoped this was some kind of indication that she was the same person she had been before. In the light of day she looked better and worse. She wasn’t as pale as he had thought and her bruises weren’t so intense as the fluorescent lighting in the police station had made them seem. In his shirt she looked even thinner however and he could see more clearly than before that her eyes, so recognizable as his daughter’s, had taken on a new, haunted look so them. They seemed out of place within her face; too old and troubled for her youthful beauty.

Clearing his throat Chewie turned away from Rey to face the kitchen once again. He knew he had been staring at her intently and had no wish to make her uncomfortable.

“Do you want any breakfast? I could make you something. Y’know how your mum makes sure we have every type of food in the house all the time,” speaking to the cupboards Chewie looked through the food they had in them before turning to the fridge to confirm what he had said. Maz really did keep the house constantly stocked, “I could make you pancakes like I used to?”

Rey had silently crept into the room while he spoke and now was hovering by the kitchen table, behind the chair where she used to sit.

“With the chocolate chips?” Her voice had lost the roughness Chewie had noticed there had been yesterday. Without it her voice simply sounded small.

“As long as you don’t tell your mother I let you eat something so unhealthy.” Smiling at her Chewie began to cook, enjoying the domesticity of the moment.

-

He sat beside Rey at the table as they ate quietly, neither of them speaking but somehow not in silence. They had left a stack of pancakes for Maz but had put blueberries in these to try to make her think they had eaten more healthily but Chewie doubted she would be fooled by this.

As they ate he only vaguely payed attention to his breakfast, instead focusing on watching Rey eat and taking in every detail, hoping that it could tell him something about what has happened to her. His heart broke again as he did this, almost regretting his decision to watch so intently. She handled her cutlery clumsily and ate in the tiniest of bites. Rey, who used to inhale all her food instantly and have truly awful table manners was now slowly and careful, paying attention to every bite she took and resting her knife and fork down against her plate while she chewed. Each of these gestures spoke to who she had become and an ugly truth reared it’s head inside him; he didn’t really know her. Not anymore.

Unwilling to truly face that fact Chewie instead became even more focused on watching Rey as she put down her knife and fork completely and looked up at him. 

“Did you think I had run away?” Rey held his gaze as she asked him this, her eyes pleading with him.

“No. Not once.” Chewie responded immediately, his voice overflowing with conviction. Never had he or Maz believed that Rey would run away and leave them. Even when the police, media and the people who were meant to be their friends had suggested it they had dismissed the that idea completely.

Rey nodded at his response and returned to her pancakes with a small frown, and finished eating deep in thought as she considered his answer. 

“Is there anything you want to do today? The police will stop by later in the morning but we can do something together now if you’d like?” Chewie hoped he didn’t sound like he was pleading too much. He wanted Rey to do something with him but only if she wanted to.

“Can I see Finn? Does he live close to here?” At her question another ugly truth made itself known to Chewie; Rey didn’t know them anymore. Shaking his head he answered her.

“Not today. He still lives next door but we thought we might give you some time to get used to things again first. Is there anything else you fancy?”

“Can we go into the garden?”

Smiling affectionately at her small request Chewie nodded and went to open the door into the garden before stepping outside. The early morning chill was beginning to warm into what he could tell would be a pleasant day. Reaching his hand out to her he watched as she carefully stepped onto the patio and then walked onto the grass, never once letting go of his hand. 

-

Maz could hear the sounds of Chewie crashing about in the kitchen making breakfast from where she had been lurking upstairs and if she tried hard enough she could hear him conspiring with Rey to make her think they had eaten a somewhat healthy breakfast. Clearly they had both forgotten that it was impossible to get anything by her. 

Instead of heading down to join them Maz decided to let them have time together and instead went into Rey’s room, thinking to enjoy the sight of seeing it with someone staying in it again. Walking into it however she wondered for a brief moment if Rey had actually come home last night. The room was completely tidy, the bed had been made so perfectly that it seemed like no one had slept in it at all and not a single object had been disturbed. It was like Rey had not come home at all. 

Turning away from the immaculate bed she looked out of the window and saw Chewie and Rey standing in the garden, holding hands and talking. She watched them for a while, trying to let them enjoy a moment together but eventually went out to join them, bringing her plate of pancakes with her.

-

“I didn’t know what size you were so I just made sure I had things that would fit you no matter what. But some of it might be a bit big,” Maz and Rey were standing in front of her wardrobe trying to find her something to wear before the police came again, "we can go shopping soon if you’d like?” voice trailing off a bit at the end Maz watched as Rey reached out for a pair of trousers and touched them softly before turning to her.

“Can we do some shopping now? Online?” Maz noted the same hesitation in Rey’s voice as there had been the night before as she asked for this. “I just, I want to be able to wear something I chose myself.”

Nodding enthusiastically Maz smiled, hiding the way the Rey’s words had unnerved her.

“Of course. Maybe after the police have stopped by though.” Rey turned back to the wardrobe and grabbed some clothes and Maz took this as the cue to leave her to get dressed. Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs the doorbell rung out. 

Chewie got to it before her and opened it revealing the two police detectives with boxes of equipment and looking like they hadn’t slept all night. Stepping aside he let them and their boxes in before shutting the door.

“What’s all the luggage for?” Maz asked, walking to join them.

“We thought that instead of taking Rey to that station to interview her we would set up the cameras and tape recorder somewhere here. So she doesn’t have to keep travelling back and forth.” Detective Erso answered, sounding as exhausted as she looked. “We won’t stay for long.”

“How long will you be though?” If Chewie kept being this rude to these kids Maz was going to end up smacking him. She didn’t enjoy having to deal with the police either but that was no justification for talking to them in that tone. Not when they seemed to be working so hard.

“A few hours. Hopefully we’ll be gone after lunch,” Detective Erso seemed to be the one speaking for them both; maybe she has more patience than her partner wondered Maz briefly, “is there anywhere we can set up?” 

Whilst Chewie led them into the study Maz went to fetch Rey. Something about Rey’s demeanor seemed to shift upon seeing the police, she stood up taller and breathed more deeply as she followed them into the room, leaving her parents out in hall.

-

“She asked to see Finn earlier.” 

Maz looked up from were she had been ironing intently. It was the first time they had spoken since the police began talking to Rey several hours ago, neither of them really knowing what to say. Chewie had stopped washing the dishes from a lunch only him and Maz had eaten and was now leaning on the sink as he looked across the room at her.

“Of course she did. They were as thick as thieves.”

“When do you think she should see him?” at this question Maz paused in her endeavor and put the iron down before answering, knowing that this was a conversation they had to have.

“Just Finn or the whole family?” Maz asked, her hesitancy audible.

“Everyone I guess. Han and Leia were like second parents to her and Poe is marrying Finn after all. She should meet him sooner rather than later.” 

“I suppose,” a heavy silence fell between them as Chewie picked up a plate to dry, trying and failing to spear nonchalant.

“What about Ben?” Maz got her answer immediately as his shoulders tensed and his movements became slower.

“You know how I feel about him.”

“This isn’t about how you feel about him. Its about her. Should she see him? They grew up together after all.” 

Chewie snorted at this but didn’t face her, continuing to dry the same plate. “Hardly. He never cared about her. We both know that.”

“He wasn’t coping with it. And he wasn’t the only one who thought those things.” Maz didn’t know why she was defending Ben to her husband; they had always agreed on the topic of Ben until now. 

Immediately she knew she had said the wrong thing as he whipped round to face her, anger and frustration written all over his face.

“Maybe he wasn’t the only one who thought that. But he was the only one who stood in our fucking kitchen and told us she was dead and better off for it!” Maz watched in horror as Chewie turned back to the sink and tried to throw the plate back into it, instead missing the water and hitting the edge. As the plate smashed against the side she turned around the walked away from him.

-

Chewie stayed in the kitchen long after he had cleared up both lunch and the remains of the plate. He heard Maz talk to the police as they left and confirmed they would return to talk to Rey again tomorrow and as they did some online shopping together but he couldn’t bring himself to come out and join them. Not after his outburst.

Yes, he would never forgive Ben for the way he acted around Rey’s disappearance and he didn't want him to see her but he knew that didn’t justify his actions. Chewie felt it was one thing to be able to eat lunch with Ben for Leia’s sake but it was another to reintroduce his daughter to a man who had never once showed any level of interest in her, either before or after her disappearance. If Rey really wanted to see Ben then he would, reluctantly, let her but she as hadn’t asked after him yet let alone express a desire to see him he felt there was no need for her to see him. Even as he thought this he knew smashing a plate just because he was angry still wasn't acceptable

Ashamed of himself Chewie eventually emerged to find Maz and Rey watching TV on the sofa together and remembered that she hadn’t had any lunch because of the police interview.

“Do you want anything to eat sweetheart? Sandwich or a snack or something?”

“No thank you, I can wait until dinner.” Concerned but not wanting to press the point Chewie awkwardly hung around, watching the TV over the back of the sofa until Rey shuffled up into Maz and patted the space next to her.

And as they stayed there for hours, eating a takeaway and talking only to explain the plots of shows to Rey, Chewie begun to feel lighter, his shame beginning to fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Maz visits Leia. Ben causes trouble.
> 
> we'll get to a reunion eventually i promise :)  
> there wont be too much on the police investigation because i dont know much about how these things happen however it will feature


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia sees Maz and Finn and Ben do not consider the consequences of their actions.

Leia was pretty convinced she had never managed to exercise this much self-control before. Rey had been home for well over 24 hours and she had managed to avoid texting, calling or generally contacting Maz and Chewie completely. All things considered she felt this was something to be proud of. 

Had Maz not texted and invited herself over for coffee that morning however Leia was not sure how much longer her self- restraint would have held out and she would have quite possibly ruined something for the Kanata’s by disturbing them. 

It wasn’t just her curiosity about Rey that was fueling this desire to see them. Leia had lived next door to them ever since Ben was little and had never gone so long without contact from them. Even during the worst of it all they were always talking and seeing each other. Hell, Chewie and Han had worked even together, sometimes with Finn although Leia felt his real passions did not involve cars. To go so long without knowing how Maz and her family were was unnatural to Leia. 11 o’clock could not arrive fast enough for her. 

It arrived surprisingly fast however as she had to spend most of the morning persuading her family to spend time somewhere else and not eavesdrop on their conversations. Eventually Han was banished to work on his car and she had to resort to sending Finn and Poe to their room, reminding them she was their mother and boss respectively, all three of them sent off with promises for updates and explanations when Maz was gone. Ben only emerged long enough to go on a run and take enough food for an army into the basement with him. She had no trouble telling him to stay away.

When Maz arrived she was not what Leia had expected. She was neither glowing with the happiness of a woman whose daughter returned after being kidnapped nor did she look heartbroken and haunted in the way Leia had worried she might be. Instead she simply looked like Maz.

“Maz! How are you?” It’s a simple greeting that slips out automatically but the immensity of this question weighs them both down immediately.

Shaking her head and sighing Maz followed Leia into the house and sat down at the table. Leia began to make them coffee, wondering whether to simply ask after Rey or build up to it. 

“How is Rey?” 

Maz paused for a long moment before she answers. “I left her cooking an early lunch with Chewie, before the police get there” Leia can tell there’s something significant on Maz’s mind but she knows to just let her friend build up to it, “we did some online shopping yesterday for new clothes and she looks so different in them. Its so strange, in my head she’s 14 but then I see her and she really does look like an adult. And I can’t tell if she’s different because of what she’s been through or because she’s grown up.” 

“How is she different?” Leia expects another long pause before answering but instead Maz’s answer spills out of her speaking rapidly, seeming desperate to be able to talk to someone

“She’s so tidy and quiet now. Her bedroom is always immaculate, it’s like no one ever sleeps in it. She eats so slowly and carefully and you know as well as I do she never used to be like that. She used to sleep like the dead but now I check on her constantly and she’s always tossing and turning. Sometimes she cries in her sleep but Chewie doesn’t let me wake her up.” At this Maz stopped talking and Leia watched as something changed in Maz. She can’t place what but at the mention of Chewie Maz's demeanor shifted slightly.

Deciding not to press this point just yet Leia mulled over what Maz had said about Rey and the more she considered it the more it sounds less like her simply having grown up and more like something sinister has happened. Not wanting to jump to conclusions (but knowing that probably still will anyway) Leia waited for Maz to start talking again.

“She asked to see Finn yesterday. And you and Han. Chewie and I were wondering if we could come over some time? Or rather you come over to ours?”

“Yes, please, whatever works for you. We’d all love to see her again.” Trying not to sound too eager and give Maz the wrong idea Leia added, “Tell her we’re thinking about her.”

Maz nodded at Leia and added, “it might not be for a while. Chewie and I got in a fight over bringing her here.” This gave Leia pause. The fight must have been the reason for Maz’s odd reaction a few moments ago. 

Already suspecting what the answer will be Leia asked anyway, “What was it about? The fight?”

“Ben. Chewie doesn’t want Rey to have anything to do with him. Not after everything he said. He got so angry he broke a plate.” Maz’s answer made Leia’s heart sink. She had thought that the relationship between Ben and Chewie had improved slightly but clearly not. Perhaps some wounds were too deep to heal.

“Ben hardly leaves the basement these days. We can all when Chewie calms down a bit?" 

Nodding Maz smiled at Leia, “I think that would be best. Give us some more time though the police are going to be coming and going for god knows how long.”  
Leia smiled back at her friend and decided to shift the conversation onto how wedding planning for Finn and Poe was going.

-

“You didn’t ask her.” Jyn Erso looked up from rereading the notes she had been making during their latest interview with Rey to face her partner, but Cassian’s eyes remain firmly focused on the road as he drove them back to the station.

“Neither did you.” Jynn answered him carefully.

“She likes you more than me. You know Imwe wants us to find out why and you’re more likely to get an answer.” Sighing Jyn closed her folder but paused for a moment before she answered, unwilling to lose her patience with him. 

“Lets talk about this back at the station. Not here” she can hear Cassian’s frustrated sigh but ignores it; they both know she’s right about this at least.

When they are back at their desks facing each other he pounced the question on her again.

“Why didn’t you ask her?”

“Honestly? Because I don’t think she knows. She doesn’t even know his full name, why would she know why he kidnapped her?”

“Exactly. You think she doesn’t know but we can’t be certain. What if she was just the first girl he saw and he snatched her off the street for no reason? He could take some other random girl any minute.” Cassian’s was anger in clear in his tone despite his best efforts to stay professional. 

“Say his plan was to take some random girl and she happened to be the one to walk past him that day that was 7 years ago. They talked to each other, he gave her presents, they’ll have formed a some kind of relationship despite how fucked up it all is. I think it’s more likely that he’ll want to get her back instead of starting all over again with someone new.” 

“But we don’t know that for certain. We would if we just asked her.”

“You do that then. She spends the whole time talking about it all trying not to cry but go ahead, ask her why it was her that was taken. I’m sure she hasn’t spent 7 years asking herself that question.”

With this Jyn walked away from her desk, refraining from shouting at Cassian properly or maybe throwing something at him. It’s true that Rey’s kidnapper is out there and could do take another girl but Jyn truly doubted that. Talking to Rey it was clear that some kind of bond had formed between them and it would be so much harder for him to begin again with someone else, especially as he sounds to have been fond of Rey. Not that Rey seemed fond of him. 

Walking into an interrogation room Jyn tried to watch the first interview they made with Rey again, to see if there was any indication that her kidnapper knew her before he took her but she can’t do it. In two days Rey seemed to have got much older, to actually look like a grown woman. Here in this first video she looked like a scared little girl being forced to tell two perfect strangers about the worst thing that ever happened to her.

Jyn can’t watch it again. 

-

Finn would consider himself a man of his word normally but there are some situations in which you have to break your word and frankly, this qualified as one. The moment Maz leaves he leaps up from the stairs where he has been sitting and eavesdropping on her and Leia’s conversation and made a beeline straight for his mother, his father close behind him. 

“You said I can’t see her yet!” 

Leia jerks around to face him, clearly away the remains of a coffee morning that turned into brunch, guilt written all over her.

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t stay away.”

“Rey asked to see me and you and Maz conspire to keep us apart. Like we’re fucking kids!” Finn knew his voice was becoming unnecessarily loud but he couldn’t care less.

“We’re not conspiring to keep you apart. Maz doesn’t want her to see anyone yet. It could be overwhelming for her,” Leia’s voice was brittle and Finn knows this had the beginnings of a conversation that could become a shouting match. “and Chewie doesn’t want Rey coming over here at all.”

“I don’t give care about all of us seeing her, I just care about seeing her. Ben and Chewie’s problems have nothing to do with it.” Chewie might have been able to fool Leia into thinking things were ok with him and Ben for her sake now he’s living with them again but Finn knew better than that. 

“What have I done now?” Finn, Leia and a silent Han all turned around to see that Ben has emerged from his basement. Maybe they were talking more loudly than Finn thought they were.

“You told Chewie his daughter was dead and he should move on and now that she’s back I can’t see her because of you!” 

Muttering something under breath Ben moves past them all to put down his dirty dishes.

“Got something to say Ben?” Poe’s voice joined the conversation too. They were definitely being louder than Finn had thought. Somewhere in his mind he wondered if they could hear the shouting next door but he was too angry to truly process that thought. 

“Yeah I do. I said you need to grow up. You’re acting like a fucking child.” 

Scoffing Finn stepped closer to Ben, “Grow up? I grew up 7 years ago when I lost my best friend and had to spend the next 7 years trying to find her. You never once cared enough to even ask how it was going. You’re only here now because you don’t have any other options except living with your parents again.”

“Bit rich coming from you. You’ve never been anywhere else in your whole life. You’re just gonna marry the first man who says he loves you and work at your dad’s shop and never do anything. At least I’ve done something with my life.”

Finn didn’t feel like himself anymore, it was like he was no longer in his body. Him and Ben were shouting at each other, ignoring everyone else telling them to stop. Despite being inches shorter than Ben they were still right in each other’s faces. 

“You call getting fucked up and working for that creep doing something? It’s pathetic.” 

Ben visibly snapped. He grabbed Finn and slammed him into the cupboards and edge of the work surface, knocking the dishes onto the floor.

At the sound of the crockery smashing Finn felt himself come to his senses and pain exploded in his head and back where he had hit the cupboards, Ben’s strength evident in how much it truly hurt. Almost doubling over he watched as Ben stepped back for a moment before storming out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

For a moment everyone was quiet. The suddenly Poe was fussing over him and Han was getting a brush for the broken crockery and Leia was getting her phone to try to call Ben and get him to come home. No one noticed the muffled and frantic talking coming from next door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Ben POV and Maz and Chewie have to face the fallout of Ben and Finns argument  
> In England houses in the suburbs are still close together and you can hear what is happening next door if they are loud.  
> I also do not mean "relationship" as a romantic relationship, simply a bond that has developed between two people. 
> 
> i dont really think this chapter is very good but i hope you enjoy it


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from the fight

It had been such a long time since Ben had felt this entirely overwhelmed. Sometimes in the darkest hour of the night as he lay alone he would begin to feel himself drown, profound loneliness or guilt blocking out all other feelings and preventing him from sleeping. This absolute, oppressive wave of emotion that hit him now however was something he had grown unaccustomed to, something he had worked so hard to move away from. 

He had tried so hard to move on from being that man, the one he had once been. The one who would lash out, break things and say the most hurtful thing he could think of. His mother always told him to walk away and he had done. He had walked away from it all and ended up back at home in his parents basement fighting with his younger brother. Finn was right. He was pathetic. 

Ben turned down the lane at the bottom of his street, heading vaguely towards the fields behind the houses. He didn't get far before he was suddenly exhausted and slumped down at the base of a tree just off the path, holding his head in his hands. He stayed sat there for a lifetime, running over everything that he had said and done, shoving Finn, shouting hateful things at Chewie, cutting himself off from his family when they had needed support, not even considering that Rey might be anything other than dead and buried.

Rey. Fuck. He had yelled at Finn and shoved him into the cabinets right where you could here from Maz and Chewie’s house. They would’ve heard the commotion and it probably would've horrified her. Who knew what she knew about him. Who knew what she had been through. 

At this realization Ben felt something snap in him again and he slammed his head into the tree behind him. Chewie already hated him and when he heard about this he would make sure Ben wouldn’t see Rey ever again and, despite everything, Ben really did want to see Rey.

Sitting by a tree staring with unseeing eyes at the sunset Ben thought about her. He could hardly remember what she looked like, all his mind could conjure up were the photos of her that had been all over the news in the early days and he had no real memories of her from before she had gone missing. He had never spoken to her and knew nothing about her beyond what people who had actually cared about her had said. But he really did want to see her again.

Not that he had any right to.

-

The police had long gone by the time Maz finally returned from Leia’s house. Chewie had been sitting at the kitchen table with Rey, talking to her quietly about the television show they had watched last night. Their conversation had tailed off as she begun to stare at her tea and fell into deep thought. He had learnt that she would only talk for so long before she slipped into her mind and stopped responding. Chewie looked down intently at a piece of paper the police had left him with, contact details about a therapist they had worked with previously and that they felt would help Rey to readjust and cope with what had happened to her. 

“What’s that got on it?” Chewie looked up from his study of the note to look at Maz standing in the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Information about a therapist. The police gave us it,” Chewie explained as Rey looked up from her tea to smile at Maz before she lowered her gaze again, “a man called Baze Malbus. They said they’ve worked with him a before. How was Leia?”

At hearing Chewie ask this Rey properly perked up, clearly interested.

“Much like it always is. Han’s closed up the shop for a while and Leia’s taken time off work. Ben was hiding away in the basement like he always is.”

Maz stopped talking abruptly. Indistinct but aggressive shouting could be clearly heard coming from the Solo house, bitterness and anger seeping through the wall between them. 

The sound of rapid breathing close behind him distracted Chewie from the Solo’s however as he turned to see Rey sitting at the table, breath shallowly with panic in her eyes. Just as he tried to approach her he heard an immense crash come from next door.

At hearing this Rey leapt from her chair and backed away until she hit the wall opposite, wrapping her arms around herself and trying to steady her breathing. Slowly, with has stretched out in front of him Chewie began to approach Rey, grateful that everything seemed to have gone quiet next door. Praying that he didn’t make things worse he tried to talk to her.

“Hey sweetheart it’s ok. You’re ok, you’re at home with us. It’s ok, we’re here now, you’re at home, you’re safe,” He turned away to look at Maz who looked just as helpless as he felt, pleading with her silently to help him, “it’s just us here, you’re here with us. Nothings going to happen Rey it’s ok.”

Slowly, Chewie reached out for Rey and gently touched her arm. Her head snapped up but she didn’t flinch away. Instead she held his gaze for a moment before letting out a sob and sinking to the ground, Chewie catching her and lowering her down. Rey clung onto him desperately as he held her and rocked her while she cried, all the while looking at Maz who was rooted to the spot.

“Maz.” At the sound of Chewie’s voice she seemed to come to and sunk onto the floor, joining them in their embrace. 

-

Han was restlessly pacing in the living room, thinking back on everything that had happened when his phone rang. Confusion spread through him as he saw that Chewie was calling him, unable to think of why his friend might be calling him now.

“Hey Chewie, what up?” looking at Leia Han answered his call.

“What the fuck is going on over there Han?” Icy fear suddenly rushed through Han. Of course they would’ve been able to hear all the fighting next door, especially when Ben shoved Finn.

Reluctantly he answered, still looking at Leia, “Ben and Finn got in a fight. Ben ended up slamming Finn into the cupboards.” 

“Yeah I thought it was something like that. Next time your sons go for each other don’t do it where we can hear it. You scared the shit out of Rey.” 

“Shit, Chewie I’m so sorry. Is she ok?”

“She’d be better if it hadn’t happened.” With that Chewie hung up.

“What happened? Is it Rey?”

Sighing Han sat down beside Leia and felt himself slump, wallowing in his guilt for a moment, “They heard all the fighting. Apparently it really scared Rey.” Leia went pale beside him and he wrapped an arm around her.

“We need to talk to them Han. The boys. Remind them about everything and make sure they don’t act out again.”

“I thought they would’ve grown out of all of that by now. Hell, they never used to be like that growing up.”

“That’s only because by the time Finn was a teenager Ben had cut us all off. If he’d been around it probably would’ve been like that.”

Han nodded at that. The 10 year age gap between Ben and Finn meant that they had never really been close growing up. Maybe that was why Finn had become so close to Rey.

“We’ll talk to them,” a depressing thought hit Han as he said that and added, “Chewie definitely won’t want anyone to see Rey now.”

-

The sound of a door slamming and someone stamping into the house indicated to Poe that Ben had returned from God knows where. Moments after his return he heard Leia call for him and Finn to come down for a talk. 

Looking up from his laptop Poe shared an apprehensive glance with Finn before they rose from their bed and headed downstairs for this ominous ‘talk’. 

“This feels like we’re being led to our execution.” he muttered to Finn who snorted.

“It’s my mother. We’re definitely about to be executed.”

Leia, Han and Ben were already sat around the kitchen table in a loaded silence that was only interrupted by the scraping of Finn and Poe’s chairs. When they were seated Poe was surprised to hear Han speak up and not Leia.

“Chewie called me earlier after your little interaction earlier,” he began, looking pointedly at Finn and Ben, both of them sliding down their chairs like sullen teenagers, “and he reminded me that from their kitchen they can hear whatever happens in here. He also mentioned that his traumatized daughter lives with them again. Who heard your fight and was terrified by it.” 

Shame quickly settled over the table. Ben and Finn were no longer able to look up and Poe felt embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened despite having a smaller role in it all then they had. 

“Finn was right. None of you are children and I don’t want to treat you like you are. But you absolutely cannot behave like that. Especially not under these circumstances. None of know what has happened or what might upset Rey but we will all do our best to make sure that we do not have a repeat of today.”

Looking up from the table Ben turned to his father, “Is she ok?”

At hearing Ben ask this Poe frowned. When had ever shown any care for Rey until now? Maybe he truly felt guilty for how he had behaved. Or maybe it was the way Han had describes Rey as being ‘traumatised’. God knew that that word had affected Poe. It made everything seem so much larger, made Rey’s suffering so much more real.

“Chewie didn’t go into details. Just said that she would be better if it hadn’t happened. And he’s right she would be.”

With this Han got up and left the kitchen, quickly followed by Leia. They both seemed keen to get out of there and Poe wondered briefly if this was some kind of a test, to leave the three of them alone together and see if they were able to get on without fighting but Poe dismissed that idea. More likely they simply wished to leave the conversation. 

Finn sighed and put head his in his hands, “We really fucked up.”

“Yeah we did.” For the second time Poe was surprised at what Ben said. Clearly wherever he had been since the fight had knocked some kind of sense into him. “Next time you want to insult me don’t do it somewhere where they can hear.”

With that Ben got up and headed back down into the basement and Poe was relieved. Just because Ben had been an almost nice person briefly didn’t mean that Poe was fond of him on any level. Taking Finn’s hand in his Poe sat at the table with him, comforting Finn while he cried softly. 

Quickly however Finn pulled his hand from Poe’s and headed back upstairs and Poe knew better than to follow, if Finn wanted his comfort he would’ve said.

Poe ended up sat alone at the table, not knowing what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- the smallest reunion in the world and Rey meets someone new.
> 
> this is so angsty im so sorry!   
> better times will come i promise!  
> also names were repeated a lot during this chapter but i didnt want use pronouns too much in case i confused myself


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one sleeps well.

Rey didn’t sleep that night. She paced up and down her room, pausing at either end before turning around walking to the opposite walk. Maz lay in her bed and listened to her gentle footsteps for hours, the only sound filling the night beside her and Chewie’s own breathing. There was something so concerning about Rey’s actions, something so sinister in the way that she softly paced the length of the room for all night, never once changing her pace or stopping to sit down. Simply walking back and forth.

The steady rhythm of it lulled Maz to sleep several times but whenever she started to truly fall asleep images of Rey’s eyes, large and frightened, assaulted her and she was reminded of how much she had failed in that moment. It wasn’t like it had been a panic attack or some kind of breakdown. Rey had just been scared by the shouting and Maz had been unable to comfort her or help her calm down. Instead she had stood there watching as Chewie had helped her. He had been there for her, had spoken to her and helped her whilst Maz did nothing. No wonder Rey preferred to be with Chewie and not her. 

At around dawn Rey’s footsteps finally stopped and for a moment it was truly silent. Assuming that Rey had finally gone to sleep Maz drifted off quickly, her exhaustion taking over her. She was too deeply asleep to hear the sound of Rey slipping out of the front door. 

-

Poe hated running. He really hated it. It was marginally more enjoyable running around this neighborhood than on a treadmill in a gym but only slightly. It was still awful either way.

He liked to head out as early as possible so that it was out of the way quickly and he could go about his day as he wanted to without it hanging over him. And since Ben had started living with the Solo’s again Poe had started running even earlier in the morning, trying to get his run finished before Ben set out on his. He had seen Ben once when he was out and it had only served to make the whole experience even worse. This morning he was on his run even earlier, hoping to feel more awake after a night of fitful sleep and comforting Finn through his guilt.

Approaching the end of the lane Poe turned towards the bottom of the street and spent a moment considering what a wonderful place that would’ve been to grow up in, all large semi-detached houses set far apart from each other with big gardens and fields beyond them. As he got closer Poe frowned slightly as he saw a small figure sitting on the front step of the Kanata’s house. The figure became clearer and he could see that it was a girl in a massive t-shirt sitting there, arms wrapped around herself with her head rested on her knees.

Unsure if she had noticed him Poe slowed his pace, acutely aware of the fact that this was almost certainly Rey and he had no desire to startle her by being too noisy. Just as he reached the bottom of the path of his house she looked up at him and held his gaze with an intensity he had not expected, distracting him for a moment. All the pictures of Rey showed a gentle, happy look young girl but the woman he was looking at now had eyes that seemed to be overflowing with sadness. Shaking his head slightly to try to dislodge his thought Poe spoke.

“Hey. I’m Poe. I, uh, live next door.” Maybe Rey didn’t know about him and Finn. Probably best not to drop that onto her.

At hearing him speak she smiled at him and her whole face suddenly shifted from intense and sad to soft and happy. “Do you know how Finn is?” she asked him.  
This gave Poe pause. In the broad sense of things Finn was doing alright but right now he was a mess. The knowledge that his fight with Ben had scared and upset Rey had absolutely racked him and he spent more time crying than not crying now. However he didn’t want to tell Rey this, god knows how she would react to that.

“He’s doing ok. He’s really desperate to see you.”

Rey’s smile seemed to falter, “I know he is. Tell him I want to see him too?”

Nodding at her with cartoonish eagerness Poe replied. “Sure. How are you doing?” 

Her smile slipped off her face slowly when he asked this and her eyes gained a far away look, neither soft or intense, simply blank. Shaking her head at him she got up from the step she had been sat on and opened the door a silver, slipping into the house and shutting it silently behind her.

Poe stayed stuck to the front path for a long time, considering what he had just seen. It felt entirely unjust to him that he should’ve seen her before Finn or Leia or Han did, all these people who had loved her and searched for her and still hadn’t seen her. But some random stranger who didn’t seem to know his connection to the Solo’s did get to. There was something about her that frightened him too. The way she had looked at him so intensely only to instantly soften her gaze. She seemed to transform from a ghost with pained eyes to a soft and gentle young woman and the absolute entirety of her transformation unnerved him.

He was still standing on the path when the door opened and Ben stepped out, dressed for his run. Poe had no time to process Ben’s sudden appearance when he was gone, running past Poe and down the lane. His appearance did wake Poe up from the trance he seemed to have fallen into however and he walked back into the house in the vague direction of the shower, his body moving automatically as his mind remained far away. 

It wasn’t until he was sat eating breakfast with the others that he began to return to earth and pay attention to the conversation again. He had no idea what they were talking about however as he had missed so much of it. 

“Poe are you ok?” Turning his head he saw Leia watching him worriedly. 

“Yeah I’m fine. Just tired after my run.”

“Did you go somewhere new? You were gone for ages.” Poe had hoped Finn wouldn’t notice how long his absence had been as he had been asleep when he left but clearly he had no such luck.

“Nowhere new. I think I was just really slow today.” Shrugging he turned back to his food and the conversation moved on around him but the look in Finn’s eyes told him that they would talk about this again.

It felt so wrong to be anything other than totally honest with Finn but Poe knew that he wouldn’t tell Finn about what had happened. He just wouldn’t be able to do it, wasn’t sure what words he would use to describe it to him. How could he tell his boyfriend that he had accidentally seen Rey and hadn’t even been able to speak to her properly or organize some kind of reunion between them. They weren’t children and if they wanted to see each other they could, even if their parents didn’t want it to happen just yet. But he hadn’t been able to ask her if she wanted to see Finn let alone sort something out and now Finn would have to wait even longer. 

He wouldn’t be able to tell Finn that.

-

If you had asked Finn anytime in the past 7 years how he would’ve felt when Rey returned Finn would not have said bored. He was however bored out of his mind. His father had shut up the shop so that they could all be around and he wasn’t involved in any of the police case. He had expected to at least be re-interviewed about it to see if other people’s stories matched with Rey’s but this hadn’t happened either. Instead he was simply at home all day with nothing to do and it was beginning to get to him slightly. And she had only been home for a short while.

He had ended up sitting and reading in the garden on the swing seat down at the bottom. It was cooler down here than at the top of the garden but Finn preferred it. There was something nice about how the trees mostly hid him from the rest of the house and the grass had grown too long. It was the perfect place to sit and think about things and at the moment he had a lot on his mind. 

Despite his best efforts Poe had remained tight lipped about what had happened to him on his run and it was beginning to really concern Finn. They never normally kept secrets from each other and the idea that there was something Poe didn’t want to tell him hurt. It also worried him. Poe had seemed to far away and almost spooked when he returned and all Finn wanted was to know what happened so that he could help him.

Sighing Finn let his book drop onto the grass and turned his head to look at the fence between their garden and the Kanata’s. Whereas no one in the Solo family cared about gardening Maz was dedicated to it and spent all her weekends in their garden. Through the places where the fence slats had fallen down and no one had bothered to put the back up he could see the flower beds overflowing with plants, the vegetable beds and greenhouse, the lawn the wound down the garden that Chewie always kept to a perfect length. Twisting his body round in his set he turned to look at the bottom of the garden and the swing that hung from the largest tree and felt his breath leave his body.

Through the breaks in the fence he could see Rey sitting on the swing. She was curled up on it with her back resting against one of the ropes and staring up at the sky with a blank face.

Finn couldn’t see her clearly and his shoulder was starting to ache from way he was sitting but that didn’t matter. It was definitely Rey. Older, thinner and paler and in clothes she would have never worn when she was a teenager but it was still definitely her. Unsure of whether to speak of not Finn turned himself round fully, the chains holding up the swing seat let out a large groan in protest of his movement, and he saw her turn to the direction the sound had come from. For a moment her eyes search along the fence before they found a gap and stared straight through it; right at Finn. 

They both stayed still for a moment and looked at each other, neither of them even blinking before Finn heard Maz’s voice call out.

“Rey? Can you come and set the table for lunch?”

Instantly Rey shot up and rushed into the house, leaving Finn staring at the garden through the cracks in the fence. He stayed there for a moment working out what to do before he grabbed his book from the ground and rushed into the house and up into his bedroom. It took a moment of frantic searching for his phone before he found it and scrolled through his contacts, his mind so scattered that he couldn’t find Chewie’s name for a long time. Pausing to collect himself before he called Finn tried to whether Rey had looked happy sitting in the garden. He wasn’t sure that she did. Finally sorting his thoughts out he called Chewie.

“Hey Finn, everything ok?”

“Yeah it’s all fine. I was wondering if I could see Rey tomorrow. I could come over alone if that would be better for her?” Finn knew he was talking too quickly but he couldn’t find it in himself to slow down and talk properly, this was too urgent. 

“I don’t know mate.”

“Can you talk to her about it at least? I know Mum and Dad are desperate to see her too. And I want her to meet Poe.”

“Yeah I’ll talk to her. She asked after you again today. I told her you were probably loosing your mind over us keeping her at home.”

It wasn’t justified but Finn felt himself getting angry at this. Rey wanted to see him and Finn wanted to see her. He wasn’t asking for her to come over for a big family lunch and see everyone again, he just wanted to come to the Kanata’s for a little while to see her. And maybe even hug her. 

“Can you just ask her? I can come whenever is good for you and only stay for a few minutes. I just want to see her.”

“I know you do kid. I’m just trying to do what’s best for her,” Finn heard the sound of Maz calling Chewie to come and eat lunch and Chewie sighed, “I gotta go mate but I will talk to her. Bye”

As Chewie hung up Finn had to refrain from throwing his phone at a wall. Of course Chewie was trying to do what was best for Rey, he had never questioned that. He just wanted to see her so badly. With frustration building up in him and his chest heaving Finn contemplated what to do. 

And after several long moments of staring at the wall in front of him he decided to head into the basement.

-

His family liked routine and Ben was infinitely grateful for this. He had been able to schedule his trips out of the basement for time when no one would be around. Getting his food in between their meals and going for a run when Poe was back from his meant that he mostly managed to avoid seeing them much. Just passing Poe as he set out on his run that morning had managed to make his bad mood worse however and he had spent the rest of the day so far stewing in the basement watching terrible reality television. He had just reached a conclusion that people were terrible and that another meteor should hit the earth and take everyone out when he heard a knock at his door. Not answering a second knock came followed by the door opening.

Assuming it was his mother coming to talk to him he spoke harshly, “What?”

“No need to sound speak like that. I just came to ask you something.” At the sound of Finn’s voice Ben looked up to see his brother standing at the doorway looking flushed. Confused by Finn’s appearance he heard himself speaking more politely.

“What do you want?” 

“I wanted to know if you had a punching bag down here.”

Sitting up on his bed Ben nodded at a dark corner of the room where one was hanging up in the shadow. “Yeah I do. Why do you want to use it?”

“Because I’m pissed off and I don’t want to smash my phone.” 

Finn walked past Ben and turned his back to him, stretching his arms out before he began swinging at the bag. For a long while they ignored each other, Ben had turned back to his show and Finn kept going. Eventually however Ben gave into the curiosity in him and spoke up.

“Why’re you so mad? You’re not normally like this.” Even more surprising to Ben than the fact he actually cared about this was the fact that Finn replied to him.

“I called Chewie and asked if I can come round to their house tomorrow to see Rey. But he said he’d have to see about that even though I know Rey wants to see me and I sure as hell want to see her.”

Finn punches became stronger and Ben began to worry about the skin on his knuckles.

“Why can’t you just talk to Rey? You're both 21, you don’t need to be talking through your parents.”

“How am I gonna do that? I don’t know if she has a phone or anything and Maz and Chewie are both at home with her all the time. The only way I can see her is if they let me and they won’t.”

Finn punctuated his final word with a massive swing and turned to face Ben, his eyes looking calmer despite the sweat on his face.

“Why’re you asking anyway?” 

“You never normally get all angry like this. Figured it was something big.”

As they faced each other Ben became fully aware of the situation they were in. Finn had come to him and asked for something. Then Ben had genuinely wanted to know what was wrong and Finn had explained it. For all the tension between them in this moment it was the most brotherly they had ever been towards each other. Even stranger than this Ben realized he wasn’t even having to make an effort to be civil towards Finn, he was truly interested in what had bothered Finn and wanted to help. 

“Not much that’s bigger than this.” Finn sat down on the edge of the other side of the bed as he said this and Ben muted his show, turning towards him properly.

“I still can’t believe it’s true. I keep thinking about her.”

Finn stared at Ben when he said this. Ben knew this was the first time he had ever expressed any real feeling with regards to Rey and although he was telling the truth he could see that Finn didn’t truly believe him. Both turning to watch the punching bag swing in the air they sat in silence together for ages, almost enjoying each other’s company. 

When Finn got up to leave and Ben was back watching reality TV alone and googling Rey he found he actually missed Finn’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Rey voices her frustration.
> 
> i meant to update yesterday but things got away from me- i hope i can get the next chapter up tomorrow  
> this felt very light on Ben even though he's my favourite POV character- there will be more of him i promise.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey runs out of patience.

“What was that about?” Maz asked as he finally emerged for lunch

Sighing heavily Chewie sat down at the table and ran a hand through his hair before answering.

“Finn called. Asked if he can come over tomorrow, just him.” At saying this Chewie saw Rey perk up in her seat and stop eating. 

“Did you say that he could? I’d love to see him.” 

“I said we’d think about it and ask you.” 

Rey’s face hardened at his response and Chewie knew that he had said the wrong thing to Finn. “Why didn’t you say yes? You know I want to see him.”

“We don’t want to do anything to overwhelm you, sweetheart.” Maz answered Rey, visibly working to maintain a neutral tone to her voice, “Its been so long since you saw him and you’re still having to talk to the police every day.”

“Finn isn’t the police he’s my best friend. I won’t get overwhelmed. Dad can you call him and say he can come over?”

Chewie sat staring at Rey for a long time before he answered. She looked older like this, her eyes bright with anger and anticipation and it reminded her that she was an adult now. An adult maybe but still his daughter and it was his duty to look after her. 

“I’m not sure about that. It might not be a good idea to do something so big so soon.”

The moment he said this Rey locked eyes with him and he felt himself shrink and recoil under her gaze.

“Can I have the phone please?”

“You’re not calling Finn.”

“I’d like the phone please.”

“Look, let’s finish lunch and then we can discuss this properly.”

"You mean let's finish lunch so that you can tell me I can't see Finn."

"Yes. It just wouldn't be good for you right now."

“I’m not a child anymore. I’m 21 and I want to call Finn and tell him to come over tomorrow so that we can see each other again.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“I don’t care what you think! I haven’t done anything for 7 years! All I want is to see Finn!”

Chewie and Maz both jumped back as Rey leapt up from the table and stormed out of the kitchen. They distantly heard the sound her sobbing before her bedroom door slammed. Just as he was moving to get up and follow her Chewie felt Maz’s hand on his arm and he sunk back into his chair.

“She’s right. She should get to see him.”

“I just can’t stop thinking of her as our little girl. In my mind she’s a kid and then I see her and remember she’s not anymore.” Chewie felt tears begin to prick at his eyes as he said this and Maz turned to face him properly before pulling him against her chest and cradling his head while he clung onto her shirt.

“She’ll always be our daughter and she was always going to grow up no matter what happened. That’s just what children do. We just happened to miss it happening.” Maz’s voice began to wobble at the end and Chewie knew she was trying not to cry.

“I’m just doing what’s best for her.”

“You’re doing what you think is best for her. They aren’t always the same thing.”

For a long time they sat together like that, holding each other and trying not to cry before Chewie felt strong enough to sit up and face her.

“Were you always this wise or have I just not notice before?”

Maz chuckled wryly before answering. “You just haven’t noticed until now.”

-

Following his conversation with Finn Ben felt rattled. They had never had that kind of conversation before, one that involved them being vulnerable and supporting each other and although they hadn’t been affection it had made Ben feel warmer. For a moment he felt he had mattered to someone and he found he truly enjoyed it. And that unnerved him. 

Ben had never felt like he mattered to anyone before, even in the smallest of ways for the briefest of moments. He had been too difficult as a child and too angry as a teenager to grow close to anyone and his parents had always favoured Finn over him. In all honesty he didn’t really resent them for doing that. They were perfectly decent people who deserved a decent son and he knew he had never been that. Although that wasn’t to say that it hadn’t fucked him up to be so obviously sidelined as their second favourite. At first he had thought that he mattered to his boss but as time had gone on Ben had been able to see that he didn’t; his boss had liked him certainly but not in a genuine way. He liked that Ben was desperate to prove himself and this desperation meant that he would do anything asked of him. But eventually Ben had been able to see through all his boss’s bullshit and walk away from it all.

After laying on his back thinking about this Ben realized that he had run out of episodes to watch and took this as a sign that it was time to leave his room and see what was going on outside. Perhaps he would even talk to someone if he ran into them. Not Poe though. Or his mother. But maybe Finn or his father if he saw them. 

Maybe.

Emerging into the kitchen Ben saw his father poking about in the cupboards and sighing.

“Everything alright?”

“No. There’s no food anywhere in this whole house.”

“I’m pretty sure there is somewhere.” Han turned to Ben and looked at him quizzically before grabbing a piece of paper and starting to write a shopping list. 

“Will you run out to the shops and get some stuff. It would do you good to see the world beyond the basement.”

Normally Ben would’ve been annoyed by this simple request and wouldn’t have even considered helping but he must’ve been in a much better mood after seeing Finn because he found himself nodding and taking the list from Han. 

“You sure this is all we need? I thought you said we didn’t have any food.”

“I can’t think enough to deal with that right now. Buy that lot and we’ll order takeout for dinner.”

He considered his father for a moment, something about Han seemed off. But maybe that was because he hadn’t spoken to his father without shouting and insults for so long.

“Indian or Chinese?” 

“Chinese.” 

Nodding at Han Ben pocketed the shopping list and went to grab his shoes and a jacket. It was a quick walk to the shops and there wasn’t enough that he had to buy to justify driving. Besides the weather was lovely and carrying the bags would be good for his arms. 

When he was walking back however he was beginning to regret this decision. There had been more than he had expected and the handles of the bags in his hands were beginning to cut into his palms slightly. Cursing under his breathe he approached the Kanata house and stopped a few feet away from it.

Chewie was bringing the bins onto the curb to be collected right where Ben needed to walk to get to his house. Looking up to see Ben standing there Chewie nodded at him once tersely before turning around and heading into his house. 

Shaking his head Ben returned home and as he began to unpack the shopping he wondered what he would’ve done if Chewie had spoken to him. The last time they had truly had a conversation between them had been years ago when Ben had been at his worst and most hateful. The things he had said to Chewie he could never take back and they were only now made worse by what was happening now in their lives. The only times they had spoken since were the odd word when others were around and they wanted to make things easier for everyone else. 

Ben couldn’t help but dwell on this small encounter however as he finished putting things away and headed back into the basement. He wouldn’t have started a conversation but he felt pretty sure that if Chewie had spoken to him he would’ve been able to talk to him. There was no point of dwelling on this however. It was far more likely that Chewie would punch Ben than speak to him. And Ben knew it would’ve been justified. 

-

When Finn’s phone rung during dinner and he saw that it was Chewie calling him he immediately execused himself and rushed out of the room to answer it, swearing to himself that if he couldn’t see Rey with their parents he would simply climb over the fence when she was in the garden or break into her bedroom window.

“Did you ask her?”

“Yeah we spoke to her about you coming over. The police are normally here in the morning but you can come in the afternoon for a bit. Not for long though.”

A stupidly massive smile begun to spread over Finn’s face as he replied, “Of course. What kind of time?”

“Probably best to work that out tomorrow, it depends on how long the police stay for and how long lunch takes. But I’ll let you know.”

“OK sure. Thank you. Tell Rey I said hi.”

“Will do kid.” With that Chewie ended the calling leaving Finn grinning to himself in the hallway, brimming with excitement.

It took him several moment of standing there trying to calm himself down before he was able to head back into the kitchen, his mind too full of seeing Rey again to be able to think about such mundane things as Chinese takeaway. Sitting back at the table he didn’t even bother to try and control his smile. 

“That was Chewie. Said to come over and see Rey tomorrow. Just me.” At hearing him say this Finn saw Leia frown.

“I was hoping they would all come over here and we could have a big meal together. See her as a family.”

“Chewie said that’d be too much for her. Overwhelming.”

The way that Leia began to sulk and pick at her dinner dampened Finn’s good mood. He thought it was pretty petty of her to be upset at not getting to reunite with Rey in a big dramatic fashion. Just as he was about to reassure her that she would see Rey, just not yet he heard Ben do it for him.

“Just cos Finn’s the only one seeing her tomorrow doesn’t mean that you won’t ever get to see Rey again.”

He spoke in a more biting way than Finn would’ve but he agreed with Ben’s comment and began to eat again, desperate to finish dinner so he could go to his room and start to plan what he was going to say to Rey.

Finn ignored everything else that happened at dinner that night. For all he cared his parents could have sex on the table or Ben and Poe could try to kill each other. All that mattered was going upstairs to dig through his wardrobe to find what he wanted to give to Rey and think up something clever to say to her. She had always been so ambitious and he didn’t want her to think he was stupid when she found out he hadn’t gone to college. Or maybe she already knew that and though he was an idiot and that she didn’t want to be friends anymore. 

Fuck this would be difficult. He didn’t know what she knew about him. Chewie and Maz might’ve said all about Poe and working with Han. Or they might not have. He didn’t know.

Rushing up the stairs Finn went into his childhood bedroom and looked around it for a moment. It was something of a shrine to his teenage years and he was glad that he and Poe were staying what had been the guest bedroom and not in here. His posters were still on the wall, his dodgy CDs were still on the shelves, he even had his old high school textbooks shoved under the bed somewhere. And although he hadn’t tried to make it a shrine or preserve things perfectly the room had Rey all over it. 

Finn sat heavily on the bed and looked at the picture on the nightstand. It was a framed photo of him and Rey on her lawn, taken days before her disappearance. They were meant to be study in it but really they were just talking and laughing in the sun with their books scattered around them, all thoughts about working clearly forgotten. 

He dragged his eyes from it and stared at his wardrobe for a long moment before he got up and opened it. It took him a lot of digging around on the shelves between bedsheets and some old clothes he never wore anymore to find what he wanted. Smiling in satisfaction he extracted a small box covered in his doodles and the odd flower sticker. Opening it up there were more pictures of them together along with things he had kept over the years.

Finn shut his bedroom door and turned on one of his old CDs before beginning to look through it properly. In amongst photos, friendship bracelets and the paper with the grade on it from a school project they did together he found a small bundle of letters that Finn had written Rey, each one written and sealed on her birthday and that he had never reread. A therapist he had seen the first year had suggested it as a way of coping. It was meant to let him talk to Rey but then seal it up and walk away. Something about him finding closure and being able to move on. Finn had always seen it as a way of making sure that Rey would know all the important things that had happened and that he might forget were written down for her and so that she would know for certain that he had never given up on her. Despite what they said he knew his parents had eventually accepted her as dead and that Poe believed it too. And they all knew all too well what Ben had thought.

Shaking his head Finn considered opening the letters, to make sure that they had what they should have in them and that they fully conveyed what he wanted them to. He eventually decided against this. These were letters for her and it was only up to her when they should be opened. 

As he felt himself begin to get teary Finn gently touched the blue ribbon that timed them together. It had faded a lot after being left around his room for years during the times when he couldn’t bear to shut it away. Blue had never been Rey’s favourite colour, she preferred yellow but it was Finn’s. Once when they were little children a teacher had said they were like the blue sky and yellow sun. Putting the bundle in his pocket Finn cleared up the mess he had made and turned off his CD before blinking away his tears and heading back out into the house.

He didn’t want to dwell on the past right now. He wanted to think about seeing Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Finn and Rey finally get to reunite.
> 
> this feels like quite a short chapter but it's building up i swear!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey reunite

That morning was full of nervous tension. Maz and Chewie knew that they hadn’t done the right thing in trying to keep Rey from seeing Finn despite having had the best intentions. The argument between Chewie and Rey kept repeating itself in Maz’s mind, Rey’s every word filled with longing and frustration and anger that Maz could sense ran deeper than it had seemed to at initially. Maz found herself clinging onto that show of anger and Rey’s comment about not having been able to do anything for 7 years. It had been the first time that Rey had expressed any kind of feeling towards her captivity, until now she had determinedly avoided talking about it, and Maz would be lying to herself if she said that she hadn’t worried that maybe Rey felt positively about what had happened.

Following that one comment and brief moment of anger however Maz found herself believing that Rey had hated it all along, that she resented what had happened to her and wanted to be able to move on from it. 

As the police left and they began to all eat lunch together Chewie confirmed that Finn would be coming around at 3 o’clock but that he wouldn’t stay for long. Rey seemed irritated by this somehow and Maz couldn’t quite understand it. She had even agreed with them that Finn shouldn’t stay late because it would be such an emotional experience. 

“Where will you be when he comes?” Rey asked, deliberately looking at her parents in turn.

“With you.” Chewie answered for the both of them, having agreed last night that they wouldn’t leave her.

“Can you not go upstairs? Or Finn and I could go to my room.” 

Maz glanced at Chewie as they considered Rey’s words. Finn wouldn’t know what it meant when Rey stopped talking suddenly or what to do if something if she became panicked but Maz desperately wanted to avoid another fight with Rey. And she was an adult after all. 

“We’ll go upstairs. After we let him in. You know the police don’t want you out and about.”

“Opening the front door is hardly going out and about,” Rey retorted, pausing for a long moment as she visibly considered her next words, “He won’t do something as risky as come to the house.”

Maz knew immediately who Rey meant when she said this and she found herself unable to breathe for a moment, trying to understand Rey’s words. She had never mentioned who had taken her beyond saying that she never knew his full name, let alone talk about what he would do with such confidence.

“How can you be so sure of that?” Chewie asked, breaking the silence.

Rey was quiet for a long time, staring at her lunch with unseeing eyes before speaking up in a quiet voice. “I know him. Will you leave me and Finn alone?”

She desperately wanted to press Rey, ask her more questions. How well did she know this man? What kind of knowledge did she have of him? How could she be so confident in him? 

Maz didn’t want to make Rey uncomfortable however and understood Rey’s question to be an attempt to change topics.

“If that’s what you want. Although we will let him in, its what the police told us to do.”

Rey got up to clear away her dishes having clearly given up eating her small lunch and Maz missed what she quietly muttered under her breath. Beginning to go upstairs she turned back to them.

“I’ll be down before Finn comes.”

“What are you going to do now?” Maz had hoped they could maybe watch something or do some gardening together before Finn came but she suspected Rey wanted to be alone.

“I’ve got to try on all my clothes.” 

As Rey left the room Maz turned to Chewie and saw her own shock and confusion mirrored back at her. Both simply stared at each other before Chewie spoke.

“I thought she didn’t know anything about him.”

“She only told us she didn’t know his name. He probably didn’t tell her so that if this happened the police couldn’t find him. 7 years is more than enough time to get to know someone. Especially if they’re all you have.”

Chewie shifted in his seat and began to eat his lunch properly and Maz could tell there was something heavy on his mind but that he didn’t know how to talk about it. She decided to eat her own food until he felt able to speak. 

Their silence continued for several long minutes before Chewie put down his cutlery fully and looked down at her. 

“Do you think she misses him?”

Caught off guard by the question Maz blinked at him for a few moments. She hadn’t ever considered this. She had never thought that Rey would ever miss her captor or her imprisonment. It was clear to Maz from how Rey acted and the way that she cried in her sleep that bad things must’ve happened to her. Why would she ever miss that?

“No. You’ve seen the way she is. Nothing good has happened to her so why would she miss any of it?”

“It’s like you said. He was all she had for 7 years. What if she was with him all the time or he was nice to her sometimes. She might miss that despite the bad stuff.”

“There’s a lot of what if’s in that sentence.” Maz found herself becoming defensive as she said this, offended at the idea that Rey might miss this man and angry that Chewie, a devoted father, would even consider this.

Sighing Chewie got up and began to clear the plates. She joined him and the familiar domesticity of washing dishes and clearing the kitchen up calmed her down. It reminded her of all they had done together and that ultimately he was as clueless as she was about Rey’s past. He had simply thought other things than she had.  
When things were straightened Maz pulled Chewie down to her and kissed him gently before pressing her forehead against his.

“We can’t ever fight. We have to be in this together.” She felt him nod at her words and put his hands on her waist softly. They stood there like that for a long time, holding each other and not talking, secure in their knowledge that they didn’t need to say anything.

-

“That one makes you look smarter but that one makes you look more fun.”

Finn looked at the two shirts in his hands as he considered Poe’s words. After failing to find anything to wear yesterday Finn had enlisted his fiancé’s help to try and find the right thing to wear. Hopefully he would have enough time to run down to the shops and try and find a bouquet to give to Rey. It was pretty cliché but he wanted to give her some flowers as well as his letters.

“Do I want to look smart or fun?”

Poe considered the question for a moment and Finn was filled with gratitude for him. They had been looking at clothes and talking about flowers for hours but Poe was still genuinely helping him and giving his opinions. If he had grown tired of it he wasn't showing it. 

“You want to look fun. She’ll know you’re smart but you don’t want to seem like a boring adult.”

Putting the shirt on Finn looked over himself in the mirror. 

“How do I look?”

“Handsome. But you know she won’t care about your shirt that much.”

“Yeah I know. But I still wanna look nice. I’m gonna run to the shops for some flowers while I have time.”

“And leave me to clear all this up?” Poe asked, gesturing to all the clothes strewn around the room. 

“Who else is going to?” Finn replied and chuckled at Poe’s overly dramatic sigh. 

“Get yellow flowers. It’ll show you remember.”

“She might not like yellow anymore.”

“She might not, but you don’t know that for certain.”

Finn turned back to the mirror for one last look at his outfit before he dug his jacket out from the mountain of clothes Poe was sitting on and began to head out. He really wished he could go to a florists and get a proper bouquet, choosing flowers with specific meanings to try to tell Rey things he wasn’t sure he was going to with his words. Yellow flowers bought from a corner shop would have to do. A fancy corner shop for sure but still a corner shop. 

When he got home he had half expected to find his parents waiting to see him off, like it was his first day of school, but they were no where to be seen. He went into the kitchen to put the flowers in the sink and saw Poe out on the garden, working out. As he was standing there ogling him Finn heard the familiar sound of the basement door opening and looked around to see Ben emerging. 

They hadn’t spoken since their odd bonding moment and Finn didn’t know how to feel about it. He had enjoyed talking to him, it had been the first time Ben had ever truly felt like his brother and it would be a lie to say that he had never wanted Ben to act like a brother before. Finn couldn’t forget the things Ben had said and done however. Perhaps it was too late for them to try to be brothers.

“You going to see Rey?” 

“Yeah. Want me to pass anything on?” 

Ben paused for a moment and stared at his dishes before looking back up at him. 

“No.” With that he turned and left Finn to stare at the door of the basement.

-

Chewie opened the door to Finn and let him into the house without a greeting.

“Me and Maz are upstairs. Please get us if something happens with her.”

With that he turned around and went up the stairs and Finn decided to head into the kitchen. He was unsure of where Rey actually was but it seemed likely that she would be there. She would be sitting at the table with her homework and he would go sit with her and pull out his own books and nothing bad would ever happen to them.

“Finn?”

He was jolted out of his reverie by Rey’s soft voice and he saw at her standing by the table. Finn didn’t register it was her at first, his eyes were unseeing as they stared at each other. It wasn’t until Rey moved towards him that Finn was able to truly take her in. They were the same height now but she seemed taller than him, where he was muscled she was stick thin. He briefly had time to register how pale she was and the fading bruises on her when she stopped right in front of him. 

“Rey.” At seeing the way she smiled when he said her name Finn felt his self-control slip away and he pulled her into a hug, careful not to crush her.  
She seemed even smaller in his arms and he could felt just how thin she was underneath her clothes. Desperate not to overwhelm her Finn pulled away from her and smiled. Looking at her face he realized she looked just the same, somehow looking no different from the last time he saw her whilst also looking like the adult she was now.

“Is it a totally ridiculous question to ask how you are?” Rey’s eyes clouded over as he asked this and she shifted away from him slightly. “Sorry. Totally ridiculous.”

“How are you? I wanted to see you for ages but everyone said it would be too much.” 

“I’m good. I’ve been asking about you so much.” Rey chuckled at this and sat at the table, Finn joining her after only a brief pause. 

“What have you been doing? Are you at college?” There was something frantic about Rey’s tone that Finn couldn’t quite understand. Sure, they hadn’t been able to speak to each other in ages but she seemed so desperate to know what he had been doing, so keen to hear about his life and Finn couldn’t work out why she wanted to know that badly.

“Uh, no. I didn’t make it college. I work at the garage with Dad and Chewie. And I still live with my parents. It’s pretty sad really.” 

Rey frowned at this then shook her head slightly, more to herself than to him. “Why is that sad?”

“Living with your parents even though you’re an adult? It is a bit tragic.” Finn considered his words carefully, aware that he didn’t know what would upset her. Surprisingly though she laughed gently and smiled at him.

“If you didn’t live with them you wouldn’t be living next door to me now.”

“I guess that makes it worth it.” 

-

Finn returned home not long after he had left with his head spinning, full of thoughts. Him and Rey had been awkward with each other at first but no more than any two people who had a lot of catching up to do. Once they had spoken a bit the time they had been apart fell away and they had established a light, easy banter. He had filled her in on his life, answered her questions with honesty and even told her about his engagement to Poe. At this news her eyes grew teary and he had held her hand, small and soft, in his much larger grip.

Eventually she had started to drop out of the conversation, pauses between her answers growing longer and her mind slipping away to somewhere else. He had take this as his time to leave and he had promised her that he would tell Leia and Han that she wanted to see them. She wanted to meet Poe too but Finn felt that perhaps that should wait, he would be entirely new to her. Even Ben had been mentioned. Finn had explained that Ben was a lawyer but hadn’t elaborated any further. For all he hated what Ben had done he knew it wasn’t his story to tell and that Rey probably wouldn’t care to hear it anyway. 

No one had been there to see Finn off to the Kanata’s but they were all waiting to pounce on him the moment he came in. 

“How was it? How is she?” Leia asked him the moment he got in and Finn shrugged her off, wanting to get some food and then go to his room. Maybe spoon Poe and cry into the back of his neck. 

“She’s alright I guess. Quiet. She said she’d really like to see you guys and meet Poe.” Finn knew that that hadn’t been Rey’s wording precisely; she had said she wanted to meet Poe properly but that didn’t matter. 

“Really? What else did you talk about?”

“Just what we’ve all been doing mostly. We talked about the wedding and she said she’ll be my bridesmaid. I gave her the letters that therapist told me to write.”

“We should organize something with them. A nice family lunch.”

At this suggestion Finn sighed and walked past his mother into the kitchen, jumping out of his skin when he saw Ben there, lounging by the sink. He shook his head at himself and moved past him to get a snack and then go upstairs. Hopefully avoiding his mother.

Ben was eyeing him carefully, clearly noticing how emotional Finn felt he was becoming.

“How’d it go?” He asked quietly, making Finn jump again.

“Good I guess. Better than I thought it would.” 

“Don’t let Mum organize anything. You know how intense she’ll be.”

Finn just nodded at Ben and walked away. Maybe normally he would’ve made some snarky comment about how Ben didn’t know what he was talking about and that he had never cared before. Now he was too tired to even think anything like that, instead he just went to his bedroom, feeling exhausted but lighter than he had in 7 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- a fight and Poe finds comfort from an unfamiliar source.
> 
> maybe one day leia will get her big family reunion!  
> this felt very heavy handed and unsubtle so i hope that doesn't anyone off the story


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe work through some issues

Finn hadn’t spoken to him since he had returned home from seeing Rey but this wasn’t worrying Poe. He didn’t seem upset or angry so Poe simply assumed that Finn’s head was too full of thoughts for conversation and so he gave him space to process what had happened.

His silence made Poe feel restless however and try as he might he couldn’t focus on his work. Eventually giving up he began to watch a film, hoping that his silent presence would allow Finn to open up to him. He hadn’t expected to become engrossed in it however the he almost missed it when Finn abruptly spoke.

“What did she mean when she said she wanted to meet you properly?”

Poe’s head snapped up and his eyes met Finns; his full of guilt and panic, Finn’s narrowed and suspicious.

“Who said that?”

“Rey. Earlier. I thought she just meant that she wanted to meet you at first.”

Poe knew that he looked like a deer caught in a car’s headlights, that he was heading towards a collision that was both terrible and inevitable. His decision not to tell Finn of his meeting with Rey suddenly seemed like a colossal mistake and the fear of what it might cost him prevented him from speaking initially as it threatened to overwhelm him.

Closing his laptop he turned fully to face Finn and resigned himself to Finn’s anger.

“I saw her. The morning when I was acting different after my run,” he watched as Finn tensed at these words and moved away from him slightly, accusations building up behind his eyes, “she was just sitting outside on the steps. We hardly spoke.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Poe flinched as Finn’s anger came spilling out of him, the intensity behind his words leaving Poe reeling.

“I didn’t know how. It didn’t seem fair to say.”

“You saw her and you didn’t tell me anything at all.”

“I didn’t want to upset you. It didn’t seem fair that I got to see her when you hadn’t”

“You should’ve said! We said we would be together through this!”

“We are doing this together!”

“Are we? This doesn’t feel like we’re doing this together.”

“What would I have said? We hardly fucking spoke to each other.”

“You could’ve said something! Anything would’ve been better than nothing!”

They were shouting now and Chewie’s warnings about Rey being scared by fights were ringing around Poe’s head but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

“Would it have helped? Changed anything?”

“I would’ve known what to expect when I saw her! I would’ve know what she’s like now!”

“No you wouldn’t’ve! I don’t know her, I hardly saw her! All I could’ve said is that she’s thin and pale. How would that have helped you? If I told you it would’ve upset you, made you angry and I don’t want you to be angry at me!”

“So you lied to stop me from getting angry?”

“You’re twisting my words that’s not what I said!”

“That is what you said! You should’ve thought about it more because all you’ve managed to do is make me angry!”

“What was I meant to do Finn? Tell me. Cos this is getting us nowhere!”

“Y’know what? You’re right. This is getting us nowhere.”

Poe watched in horror as Finn turned and stormed out of the room, walking away from him. At the sound of the door slamming Poe let out a frustrated shout and started to pace angrily.

Maybe he should’ve told Finn about seeing Rey instead of hiding it from him but he stood by his actions. It wouldn’t have helped Finn it would’ve scared Finn. And after hearing Finn talk like that he definitely wasn’t going to be opening up to him anytime soon. 

Finn had told him to stay, that he needed him and his support here. But now he was walking away, not even bothering to talk about it or listen to Poe and although Poe hated fighting with him he would rather have Finn here shouting at him like that than leaving him alone. 

If this was what happened when they ran into a small problem how would they ever survive as a couple?

-

Ben could hear the faint sound of Poe and Finn shouting at each other upstairs but he couldn’t quite hear what they were saying. Sighing he got up to close the basement door and shut them out. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to listen to yet another fight from his family. There was something even worse about hearing them fight; Ben had genuinely thought they were different from his parents and would be truly happy together. But apparently not.

No one in their family had any luck with relationships. Han and Leia had been fighting his whole life and had never once bother to try and hide it, not even when he had been far too young to hear the hateful things they would say to each other. He knew little about what Finn’s life had been like in the past few years but from what he had managed to gather he had had no luck at dating. It probably didn’t help that they lived in such a small town that probably didn’t have many men for him knocking about in it. Ben himself had never once had a proper girlfriend. He had never even got close to it, instead choosing to have meaningless sex and pretend during it that he cared about the girl beneath him. 

Falling back onto his bed he tried to think about the last time he had had sex. Apart from the odd occasion he had met up with some girl through Tinder it hadn’t been for months. Turns out living in your parents house made it harder to bring girls home. 

The sound of the front door slamming jolted Ben out of his doze. Things must’ve been pretty bad for one of them to storm out. Assuming that it was Poe that had stormed out Ben decided to emerge from his lair and see if Finn was ok. Han and Leia had gone shopping together after Finn’s return and Ben hoped that following their moment together the other day Finn might open up to him and let him comfort him.

And maybe Ben also wanted to know what the fight had been about. 

Entering the kitchen however he immediately regretted this decision when he saw Poe storm down the stairs. Apparently he had not been the one to leave.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Fuck off Solo. What would you know?”

Ben sighed and began to head back into his den. He had never liked Poe, knew he never would and without anyone else here Ben knew he would end up getting in a fight with him.

“Why’re you out of the basement anyway.” He turned back at hearing Poe ask this, answering him honestly after a brief pause.

“I wanted to know if Finn was ok. Assumed it was you that stormed out.” 

“Nice to know you think that highly of me.”

“We both know I don’t think well of you at all.”

“Since when you do care about whether Finn’s ok?”

“He’s my brother. I care about him. Besides you two never fight.” He turned back to face Poe as he said this, trying to get Poe to see that he does care about Finn. He might not have in the past but he does now. Poe wasn’t looking at him however, instead staring blankly out of the window, all the anger and fight that had been in him when he had walked in long gone.

Hesitantly Ben walked towards him, trying to assess the situation. 

“Are you alright?”

“Do we really never fight?” Poe spoke up immediately, facing him with a frown and taking Ben completely by surprise with this sudden question.

“I mean, not that I’ve seen. You always seem to agree on everything.”

“Guess we do. It’s never been like that.”

They stood staring at each other, a heavy silence settling between them. Ben tried to think of something to say, something that would comfort Poe rather than hurt him, but his mind remained stubbornly blank. It was Poe that broke the silence however.

“Why aren’t you with anyone? I would’ve thought you would have some trophy wife. To go with the whole rich lawyer thing.” 

Ben scoffed. “Even having a trophy wife is beyond me. And I’m not a lawyer anymore.”

Nodding Poe turned away from him and went back to staring blankly at the garden, his mind far away. Ben sat down at the table gingerly, wanting to help but not knowing how. Wanting to be involved with other people’s lives was not exactly a familiar feeling for him.

“What happened?” At hearing him speak Poe eyed him suspiciously before answering.

“Just a fight.”

“How do you feel?”

“You sound like a really shit therapist.”

Ben took Poe’s dismissal of his attempts to help for what they were and got up to head back into the basement. Helping other people clearly wasn’t for him. 

As he sat back down onto his bed Ben tried to work out what had caused the fight. He assumed it was something to do with Finn seeing Rey but he genuinely couldn’t see how that would cause a fight. Sure, someone as unlikable and combative as him would find a way to fight about it but Poe and Finn were so peaceful and secure in themselves and their relationship. They seemed far more likely to work through something like this rather than break up because of it. 

Groaning Ben flopped backwards. He really doubted he would be invited to his brother’s wedding but that didn’t mean that he wanted them to split. Not in the least because that would cause his mother to start asking him about girls and grandchildren. 

He turned the TV on and picked up where he had left off, the video some youtuber had made about Rey’s case distracting him from Finn and Poe’s fight. He couldn’t stay full focused on the video however as his mind slipped away to think about Rey. She was so close to him but there was a distance between them that he felt would never get smaller. There were some things he couldn’t unsee and the guilt he carried would never be lifted.

-

Finn walked aimlessly around the neighborhood was for a long while, stewing in his anger and too busy to notice where he had walked to. Eventually as he cooled off he realized he had ended up behind the high school, staring at the tree they had planted for Rey with a small garden around it.

He suddenly felt exhausted, overwhelmed by his fight with Poe and slumped down onto the bench to stare at the plaque beneath the tree. 

For Rey.

Rummaging through his pockets Finn realized he had left his phone behind and cursed. What he would give to be able to phone Rey right now and just talk to her. He had wished for this so many times during her disappearance but now that it was possible, now that he could actually talk to her he wanted it even more than he ever had before. He wanted to ask Rey about seeing Poe and why she hadn’t told him earlier. He wanted to ask her what he should do, how should he make things right with Poe?

God he had fucked up. Of course Poe wouldn’t tell him, where would he even begin? And instead of letting Poe explain he had shouted at him, pushed him away and stormed out. Something he had sworn he would never do. 

Where Han and Leia’s fights had made Ben bitter and lonely they had made Finn determined to show the people he loved how much they mattered to him. He knew his parents loved each other and that they didn’t mean what they said during these fights but Finn had promised himself he would never behave like that. He would always help and support his significant other and work through problems together rather than push them away and try to tackle things alone.

All it had take was one decision made by Poe to ruin this. Finn had stood before the love of his life and shouted, had made him feel like shit for a choice he had made. He had made the choice Finn knew he would’ve made in that moment too and although he wished that maybe Poe would’ve told him earlier Poe hadn’t done anything wrong. Who was Finn to criticize his decision when Finn had behaved as badly as he had just done. 

It would be a miracle if Poe forgave him. 

Lying down on the bench Finn watched as the sky changed colour. The blue faded, morphed into the palest orange before darkening and leaving him in the dark. He turned towards the tree as he sat up.

Had Rey watched the sunset while she had been gone? Or had she been shut away in the dark and missed them? The sun had risen and set so many times in all these years. What if she had missed every single one?

Finn began to walked home, trying to go as quickly as he could without flat out running. He knew that if his mother found out he had gone out without telling anyone or his phone she would be worried. Although she might not have noticed. 

Returning home he grabbed the spare key and let himself in. Han and Leia were talking quietly in the kitchen as they made dinner and only nodded to him briefly before returning to their conversation. He wondered for a moment what they were talking so seriously about before he walked away to find Poe. Whatever it was could wait, he had to talk to Poe. 

When he walked into their bedroom Finn suddenly felt so much younger, a child about to be chastised for some small wrongdoing. Poe shut his laptop off and looked up as Finn shut the door and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.

Before Finn could get any real words out and apologise he found himself fighting back tears.

“Hey, hey. Babe. It’s ok.”

Just as Finn began to cry in earnest Poe moved round to him and wrapped his arms around him, moving too quickly for Finn to properly notice.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Was all Finn could choke out before his sobs overtook him and Poe held him even harder.

“It’s ok. We’re ok.” Poe was silent for a long time as Finn cried before he spoke up again. “I mean, would we even be Solo’s if we didn’t have a dramatic fight and storm out?”

Finn chuckled weakly and turned to Poe, surprised at the tears that were in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been like that.”

“I should’ve told you.”

They sat there, holding each other with their foreheads pressed together until Han called them down for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- a phone call is made and plans emerge
> 
> im so sorry for the longer wait for this chapter. i found it really difficult to write and in all honesty i really dont like it it, it feels rushed and messy and extremely anti-climatic but i swear i did try.  
> we are moving towards a ben and rey meeting and maybe one day this will even be some explanations.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han receives a call. Ben Thinks some Thoughts.

Han knew something had happened while he and Leia had been out shopping. There was a heaviness in the air at dinner, dulling already scarce conversation and setting him on edge. He noticed the very obvious glances Ben kept throwing at Finn and Poe and their even more obvious attempts to ignore him completely. Fearing another fight between them had happened Han waited for the moment when a snarky comment from Poe or Ben would emerge and set them all off. 

No such comment ever emerged however; they all seemed desperate to eat dinner in a strained silence and then probably return to their rooms.

And honestly? Han didn’t have a problem with this. Frankly he’s grown used to this tense atmosphere ever since Ben came home and an uncomfortable but quiet dinner is infinitely preferable to an openly hostile one. With Chewie’s warning about fighting still on his mind Han felt himself become even more grateful that whatever fight they must’ve had between them has been somewhat sorted out. 

He ended up on the sofa with Leia making a halfhearted attempt to watch the news but mostly thinking about his sons. 

How did they go so wrong with Ben but so right with Finn? What had they done to create a happy, well-adjusted young man who could cope with the most tragic circumstances? And why hadn’t they been able to do that with Ben?

Maybe it was because Finn was adopted and Ben was their biological son. Ben seemed have to ended up with all their worst traits and none of their good ones. Maybe they shouldn't have had any biological children at all.

As Han’s thoughts began to slide into familiar territory surrounding Ben and the things he had done he was jolted out of his reverie by the sound of his phone ringing. When he saw it was Chewie calling his heart dropped down to his shoes; clearly the kids fight hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Hey Chewie, what’s going on?” Leia’s immediately snapped round to Han at hearing Chewie’s name.

“Hi mate. Nothing much. Maz and I were just wondering if you guys had any plans? For tomorrow morning?” Han began to feel the tiniest amount of hope at hearing Chewie ask this.

“None at all, is something up?” 

"I mean, I guess something is up. The police aren’t coming here tomorrow and Maz and I were wondering if you guys would like to meet up. Have a thing, like a family reunion.”

Han spun round to face Leia and tried to communicate what Chewie was saying to him with his eyes before giving and just putting the phone on speaker.

“Jesus Christ man, we would love that. What kind of time should we come over?”

“Actually we were thinking that we could come to your house? I think Rey’s going a little bit crazy being cooped up at home. And that way she could see everyone.” There was a note of resignation in Chewie’s voice as he finished speaking; clearly everyone included Ben and he was less than pleased about it.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Whatever’s best for you. What kind of time?”

“Like 11? We wouldn’t stay for lunch, that would probably be too much.”

“Sure thing. I’ll tell the kids about it.”

“Great. Guess we’ll see each other tomorrow?”

“Yeah, totally. Bye” Han had hardly finished speaking when Chewie hung up. He threw his phone down and grabbed Leia’s hands as the tears began to gather in her eyes. 

They sat there for a long time, enjoying the simple happiness of the moment, both of them aware that they were experiencing the calm before the storm. Seeing Rey tomorrow will make things real in a way that they haven’t been, they will have to face who she is now and build relationships with her all over again. That begins tomorrow however; this is the moment to enjoy the fact they will get to see her.

Eventually Leia speaks up, her voice travelling miles to reach the faraway place Han’s mind had ended up in.

“We should call the boys down. Tell them that they’re coming over tomorrow. It won’t be too hard, it’s not like there’s much to say.”

Nodding Han reached out for his phone to text them to come and talk. Chewie and Maz always found it ridiculous that Han and Leia texted their kids when meals were ready or when there were family meetings but honestly? It was so much easier. Besides, what else would they use a family group chat for. 

By the time Finn and Poe had come downstairs and Ben had emerged from the depths of the basement Han was beginning to worry that maybe he and Leia should’ve planned this out more because whilst it was true that they didn’t have much to say what they had to talk about was still big news. He didn’t have long to consider this however as Leia spoke up the moment everyone was in the same room.

“Chewie called us just now. He was wondering if we would like to meet, have a family reunion. We said that we did.” 

Han was grateful that Leia was the one talking, grateful for the fact it gave him the chance to study his son’s reactions to this news. Finn seemed mostly unmoved but reached out for Poe’s hand and held it tightly, leaving Han unsure who the gesture was meant to comfort, Finn was gripping onto Poe’s hand so hard Han worried about blood circulation being cut off but Poe looked as though he was going to faint. Worrying Han more however was the way that Ben’s face completely shut off the moment these words left Leia’s mouth. 

“They’re coming over at 11 and won’t be staying for long, probably only a couple minutes. An hour at most.” Leia faltered slightly as she finished speaking, clearly unsure of what else to say. 

For a while everyone stood in silence until Poe spoke up.

“Does anyone want any tea?” 

Nobody relaxed properly despite Poe’s efforts, however they found themselves able to speak up and move around each other, all whilst doing their absolute best to keep them emotions in check and avoid talking about tomorrow.

Things began to feel so close to being normal that Han almost missed Ben turning his back to them and leaving the room.

-

Ben could feel a familiar maelstrom of thoughts building up inside him. Too many emotions, too many unwanted thoughts all fighting for dominance in his mind, all threatening to overwhelm him and shatter the internal peace he has worked so hard to maintain. 

He is desperate to return to his basement and hide from everyone. To quite possibly never come out and spend the rest of his life hiding down there like the apocalypse has come and the end times are here.

Because honestly, for him it feels like they are.

Fully aware of the fact that he is essentially running away to hide from an emotional situation Ben finally turned and left his family, the couple steps down into his room well ingrained into his mind from his endless trips up and down them.

Finally alone Ben let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding and sunk to the ground.

God he needed to get a fucking grip. Get a grip and figure out what to say to Rey. 

Han and Leia would cry and hug her and talk about how much they missed her and how she was their daughter too and how happy they were now. Poe could shake her hand and talk about how much he had heard about her and how much Finn loved her and how they could be friends too.

What would Ben say?

I thought you were dead.

I’ve read every article on your case. Watched every video, been on every forum. You probably don't know any of the things people have said about you but I do.

I didn’t even ask Finn what had happened when he called.

I really wish I had talked to you all those years ago, you sound so nice.

Nice is such a sad little word but there was something fitting about it. Other people can talk about Rey’s smile and how wonderful she was but all Ben can say is that she seemed nice. It’s all he knows about her really. The happy girl next door who was friends with his annoying little brother, two perfect kids who his parents doted on and who were devoted to each other. Over the past few months of trying to be closer to his family he’s learnt who she was to them, despite the way they avoid talking about it all most of the time but to him she was never anyone. It’s a shock to him that she’s asked after him, wants to see him too. 

Ok maybe not that she wants to see him specifically but she definitely wants to see them all.

Groaning he stood back up and shook his head aggressively, trying to dislodge all these ideas from his head, all his feels of regret and guilt and curiosity swirling around in his head. A lot of really fucked up curiosity that makes him feel even guiltier. He’s read all the books by other victims of long term kidnappings over the years and now that she’s here he really wants to see her. He wants to know what she looks like and how she acts and if she’s changed. And that is just properly fucked up.

In a desperate bid to regain some sense of equilibrium Ben moved towards his punching bag and began to attack it with little skill but plenty of force, hoping that even if it didn’t help him to calm down he would at least become tired enough that his emotions would be dulled.

As Ben stepped away from his punching bag he realized he had had no such luck. Instead of feeling calm he was simply sweaty and achy, his legs sore from exercising in jeans and his knuckles bruised from not paying enough attention to what he was doing. Falling backwards onto his bed his eyes roved over the ceiling in a familiar pattern until the cracks in the paint and bumps in the plaster helped him to cool off. He joined all the little spots in his head, each blemish forming a jumbled design, trying to focus on that instead of tomorrow.

This proved entirely useless however and Ben found himself staring at his laptop watching a true crime YouTuber talk about the mysterious disappearance of Rey Kanata. He liked this one video in particular although he couldn’t work out why exactly. Maybe it was because she had such a calm voice and talked about the case so respectfully. Maybe it was because he was mentioned in it. He didn’t know.

He didn’t know why he kept watching these videos either, it wasn’t like they ever had anything to say. Especially not now that he knew more about the case than any of these people did. It almost annoyed him that no one else knew about Rey’s return; it would’ve been nice to read some other people’s opinions on what was going on.

Opening a true crime forum that he was overly familiar with Ben tried to remember that thing his Dad said about Maz every year, when she tried to grow parsnips even though they had never worked before. Something about insanity and doing the same thing but expecting different results. 

Despite the early hour Ben eventually shut his laptop off and went to bed. After all the sooner he slept the sooner tomorrow would arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- reunion!
> 
> im so sorry for how long its been and that this chapter is so short and boring. i ran out of prewritten/preplanned chapters and couldnt find it in me to plan some more for a while.   
> hopefully now that we are getting to the reunion i can upload more often. especially when we get to ben and rey interactions.   
> see u soon!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family reunion and a check in with the police.

Ben was certain that his hands had never been this sweaty before. He can feel the damp patches of his thighs where he has repeatedly wiped his hands on his jeans and his shirt was sticking to him a bit. Or maybe it had gotten smaller suddenly. It definitely felt way to close to his body then it had when he put it on earlier. The kitchen felt a lot smaller too. And everyone was standing way too close to him. 

They were all sitting around, waiting for 11 to come and the Kanata’s to arrive but time was behaving strangely. No matter how long they sat there or how intensely he stared at the clock it never seemed to get any closer. Yet somehow there was a knock at the door long before he had truly begun to realise what they were all nervously waiting for.

Ben stayed where he was, leaning against the back wall with Poe while Finn got up to answer the door and Han and Leia moved to the front of the room to greet Rey and her parents. After all it was a miracle Rey even remembered his name. If he wasn’t living with his parents she would never have considered seeing him again.  
He could feel his heart crawling up his chest as the room becomes darker, people crowding the doorway and blocking out the light. Chewie was far in the back clearly trying to kill Ben with his eyes but for once Ben couldn’t find it in him to care about that. Because Rey was standing right there.

All Ben could remember about Rey was pictures around the house and her case. Visual memories were quickly forgotten and he had hardly any of those anyway. Despite this however Ben was shocked at how different she seemed. The Rey that he remembered was young and looked younger with long hair and freckles on her tanned skin. Now she was standing in front of him with short hair that was darker and skin that was shockingly pale. In pictures she had always been in jeans, shorts, dungarees. Practical, colourful clothes made for running around and fixing cars. This Rey was in a white blouse with blue flowers and thin blue trousers. Loose clothes that made her look even thinner.

Ben felt himself return to the situation as Finn begun to talk, gesturing to Poe who hadn’t moved forward to see her yet. As Poe stepped forward with an outstretched hand Ben didn’t miss how she turned away from it slightly, pulling her hands in to herself.

“It’s really lovely to see you again Poe.” Were he in a different mindset Ben would have questioned that, thought about it more, wondered when Rey had ever met Poe. Seeing Rey has prevented him from forming any rational thoughts however. 

“And you remember my brother Ben,” Finn gestured to Ben who took half a step forward but made no gesture to shake Rey’s hand or hug her.

Rey smiled and nodded at Ben, looking into his eyes for a moment too long before breaking away from his stare altogether to look around the kitchen and be ushered into a seat at the table.

Ben couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt that she hadn’t spoken to him but as he sat across from her and watched the conversation he became more aware of how quiet she was, hardly talking at all unless someone spoke to her directly. 

He sat there in silence himself, trying to pretend like he wasn’t intensely staring at Rey and failing miserably. Everyone else sat around drinking and chatting, filling each other in on what had been happening recently but Ben just couldn’t. He wished he could act normal like they all were and not terrify Rey with his staring, but he had never been at his best in uncomfortable social situations and could not find it in himself to be social now. 

Conversation moved onto Finn and Poe’s relationship and Ben watched on as everyone laughed over how Han embarrassed Finn in front of Poe the first time they met and the fight between Leia and Poe over him wanting to repaint the guest bedroom. There was something almost unnerving about Rey that he only noticed through his too intense staring at her. She hardly seemed present in the conversation, her face barely moving and with no emotion ever making it’s way up to her eyes. The few times she had glanced over to Ben and caught him watching her she had held his eye contact and forced him to drop his eyes in embarrassment. 

Finn was becoming overly animated in the story he was telling and despite hardly listening Ben knew they had got onto the proposal and how Poe had got down on two knees instead of one. It wasn’t even that noteworthy of a detail but it seemed to crack Finn up every time he told it. Surely he wasn’t the only one sick of hearing about it. 

Just as Finn was getting past the proposal and onto how they had told other people about their engagement Ben watched as Rey turned to Chewie and muttered something to him. A moment later Chewie rose up and cut Finn off mid-sentence.

“Listen, I think we’d better get going. We don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

His words set off a flurry of activity, everyone leaping out of chairs and agreeing with him. Ben hung back and watched as Rey was bundled out of the kitchen by Han and Leia before eventually getting up to follow them to the door and see them out. 

He watched as Rey turned back to face them from underneath Chewie’s arm, meeting his eyes and offering a shy smile that left his mind completely blank. 

Rey was beautiful. 

-

Jyn was pulled out of perusal of Rey’s latest interview by the sound of Cassian smacking his head against his desk. 

“You doing alright there?”

“No.” The sound of Cassian’s voice muffled by his paperwork made Jyn chuckle slightly. At the sound of her laugh he lifted his head up slightly and looked at her, his eyes all dark circles and red veins. “Have you gone back over her latest interview?”

“I’m watching it now. Why, what is there in it?”

“She says that she thinks he has loads of money. Talks about how he would buy her really nice stuff and had a big house. Never seemed bothered by how expensive it is to kidnap someone.”

“And? There’s plenty of rich, fucked up men out there.”

“I’m looking at houses with floor plans like she described to try and find the house. Can’t find any like that, especially not with basements. There aren’t many rich men with big houses around here.”

“She might’ve got the floor plan wrong. She did say she was only up in the house a few times and didn’t see all of it. Plus the basement might’ve been built without planning permission.”

They stared at each other over their desks for a moment, both aware of how little they had managed to do to solve this case. Jyn watched as Cassian thought through his next words carefully.

“I think tomorrow we need to really focus on the house. Where it was, what it looked like, where she thought it was. She must’ve seen something of the surroundings when she escaped.” He paused again and Jyn knew there was something coming that she wouldn’t like, “I think we should also think about informing the press. Releasing the information we have on him and see if people know anything.”

“No. Absolutely not.” There was no way Jyn was even going to consider doing this and she knew that Superintendent Imwe would side with her. “It’s not even been a week. You know the press will be all over this like they were all those years ago and that family deserves some privacy. Besides, what would we say? We don’t know his full name or have a picture of him. We don’t even know his job.”

“Yes we do. She said he was a lawyer.”

“I don’t trust anything that we know about him that Rey told us he said. She believes everything he said but how do we know he’s not lying?”

Sitting back in her chair Jyn eyed Cassian and waited for him to challenge her, expecting him to defend his point and push her. He didn’t however and she could see that for one he agreed with her. They had not worked many cases together and although they had definitely never done one as important as this she knew him well enough by now to know that they hardly ever saw eye to eye. Whilst this made their personal relationship more difficult it helped them professionally as they always saw different sides to a case.

“Yeah you’re right. Guess I’m kind of clutching at straws.” For once Cassian looked utterly defeated as he eyed the mountains of paperwork in front of him. “How do we have an escaped kidnap victim and hours of interviews with her and are nowhere nearer to catching this guy then we were years ago?”

“He’s spent a long time planning this. There’s no way it was just a spur of the moment thing, not with how intensely he locked up that cellar. That means he’s probably spent time planning the worst case scenario where Rey escapes and knows how to hide from us.” 

Cassian nodded at Jyn but stayed quiet. She felt just as defeated as he looked but refused to show it.

“We’ll find the house. Hopefully we can find DNA or some kind of ID. If we get a card then we track where he’s spent money, get the CCTV and ask Rey to identify him. We just need that one breakthrough and then we’ll get him.”

Jyn watched as Cassian stayed quiet for a long moment before nodding and turning back to his work. She put her headphones back on and turned back to Rey’s interview, hoping that Rey’s description of her daily routine would give any kind of indication of why this had happened. If they knew why they would be able to find him more quickly. As it was they were essentially waiting for the kidnapper to do something and that didn’t sit easy with either detective. Jyn knew that Rey was leaving things out when she was talking to the police and although they had no desire to press a trauma victim for too many details, especially as Rey seemed to mostly be leaving out any kind of physical abuse, Jyn was increasingly wondering whether this was a mistake.

If Rey was hiding something important from the police deliberately then they wouldn’t be able to find her kidnapper. And God knows what he would do if the police never found him. 

-

A documentary about cults was possibly not the best thing to have on after everything that had happened today but it was all Ben felt inclined to watch. Not that he was actually watching it. His mind was far too full of Rey.

His whole family had actively avoided talking about her after they left and during their meals but Ben knew that when they were alone they were all thinking about her. Or at least Han and Leia definitely would be given that they hadn’t seen her yet whereas Finn and Poe already had. When they had all been together Ben had done his best to avoid thinking about her, it had felt wrong to given that he had no connection to her, like he was taking something from them. 

Now that he was alone and free to think Ben couldn’t help but wish that he had a friend. He had cut ties with everyone he had met at uni when he got his job and had cut ties with everyone at his job when he left it leaving him completely alone. And right now he really wanted to be able to talk to someone about Rey because his thoughts were becoming too tangled up in his head. He had never been one for people in general but he had never felt lonely before like he had in this moment. He supposed that a big family reunion would do that to you.

She hadn’t been like he had expected. Sure, she was thin and had some faded bruises and didn’t like to be touched except by her father but she didn’t seem traumatized. Reserved, quiet, pretty but not traumatized. 

Ben physically lurched up from his bed when he realized what he had thought. How fucking inappropriate could he be? Thinking about how pretty a kidnapping victim he had known from childhood was.

She was though. She was beautiful. All small and delicate. 

He began to pace around his room to try and distract himself from this train of thought, desperately trying to think of other things about her. Why did she decide to buy clothes like that? Were they like the ones she had worn while imprisoned or were they the opposite of those? 

Her disappearance had created so many questions but her return seemed to create so many more, small questions that he was desperate to know the answers to. 

Ben gave up his pacing and fell back on his bed, at a total loose end. Maybe he needed a hobby that wasn’t following her case or listening to true crime. That might help to distract him from thinking about how pretty she was or how her hand would fit so nicely into his.

Fuck. That was a fucked up thought. She had moved away from Poe’s hand when he moved to shake hers, she looked uncomfortable when his parents hugged her and now he was imagining holding her hand. In no world was this the right way to be thinking about her. The list of reasons why was endless. 

Desperate for some kind of control Ben changed his TV, hoping that some kind of psychological thriller would distract him a bit. He wasn’t stupid enough to hope that it would distract him from thinking about her completely, just enough that he stopped thinking about holding her hand.

But if he thought about her smile as he fell asleep, then that couldn’t be helped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Chewie and Han have a conversation and Maz POV.
> 
> finally! a family reunion! and ben angst, will he ever catch a break?  
> i really enjoy writing jyn and cassian as police but im not sure how much i will have them in this as i dont really want to be focused on that side of things.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bright and sunny morning

Maz didn’t enjoy how slowly Rey did things. There was something she found genuinely upsetting about her careful, calculated actions that she couldn’t explain. They had been in the garden potting on dahlias most of the morning but Rey had hardly done any as each one took her so long. Rey’s actions, the small reminders of how much she had changed always upset Maz but this one seemed worse than the others. 

It was almost worse than the fact that Rey didn’t seem to like her mother anymore. 

She had always been a bit of a daddy’s girl before, absolutely doted on by Chewie and she had had far more in common with him than Maz but now she almost avoided her. She would always choose to sit with him over her and were Chewie not with Han at the moment Maz was sure that Rey wouldn’t be in the garden with her but would’ve instead chosen to be with her father. She could only hope that Rey would get over whatever this was and they would become close again. 

“Where are these going to go?” Maz had become so focused on the plant she was currently holding that the sound of Rey’s voice made her jump.

“Some I’ll put in nicer pots when they get bigger to go around the garden and some I’ll put in the flower beds.”

“Is there room? The garden’s pretty full”

“There’s always room for more, my dear.”

Rey nodded and sat back on her heels, looking around the garden. “Have you changed it? I thought the lawn was bigger.”

“We dug more flowerbeds a few years ago. Your father and I figured we didn’t need such a big lawn anymore,” Maz trailed off at the end, unsure of what to say. How do you say that they had made the lawn smaller because Rey and Finn weren’t running around and playing together anymore?

Rey hadn’t seemed to noticed the unsurety in Maz’s voice however. She simply stared at the garden a little longer and went back to the plants in front of her, patiently working through them and utterly lost in thought.

What Maz would’ve given to know what Rey was thinking about.

Maz had long moved onto other tasks in the garden by the time Rey had finally fished with the dahlias but she wasn’t keen to give Rey more jobs. She knew that Rey would ask if she wanted something or would choose herself what to do, even though deep down Maz wanted to micromanage everything Rey was up to, to monitor Rey every moment of everyday and keep her safe forever. At this moment however Maz was content to continue in the garden while Rey sat on the swing. 

Maybe she would get her to mow the lawn in a bit given that Maz was a bit too short to do it herself.

“Mum?” Rey was sitting on the swing, swaying slightly and staring right at Maz. “Why didn’t you change my bedroom while I was away?”

“We always knew you would be back. We never even thought it about changing it.” Maz found herself speaking without thinking, less like she was answering Rey’s question and more like Rey had taken the answer from her. 

Rey watched her silently for a moment before turning to look at the sky and continue swaying slightly. For all the time she spent on the swing in the garden Maz had yet to see her swing on it properly.

Her silence gave Maz a moment to look at Rey. She was slightly less pale today, gardening in the sun helping to restore some pink to her cheeks and her bruises were fading fast. Maz hated to see just how thin Rey truly was, the sundress she was wearing didn’t hide her body like some of her more loose clothes did and although Maz knew that she would eventually put weight on seeing her so unnaturally thin was awful. It made Maz nauseous to even think about how little Rey must’ve had to eat to look like that.

She turned back to her pots and begun to arrange them in new place on the patio, tucking ones that had finished flowering away and moving forward ones that needed more sunlight towards the house where there was always sun in the afternoon. Maz couldn’t lose herself in her task however, Rey’s question was rolling around in her head too much. They had already told her why they hadn’t changed her room. It had been one of the first things they had said to her when she had come home and seen her bedroom again. Maybe Rey just needed to hear that they had always believed she would come home. Maybe she had forgotten that they had already had this conversation. 

No matter the reason Maz would have that conversation a thousand times if Rey wanted to.

“Mum?”

“Yes?” 

“Was it a big news story? Me going away?” 

Rey stared at the sky as she spoke, for once not looking Maz in the eye. For all she avoided physical contact and was afraid of everything Rey definitely had developed a thing for eye contact that only added to how changed she seemed.

Maz sat back on her heels and looked at her pots for a long moment. The smaller yellow sedum needed to be moved in front of the aeonium.

“Yes. For the first couples weeks there were news people outside everyday filming us coming in and out. You were in the paper for months and people would always bother your father and I when we went out of town. After the first year things began to calm down. It wasn’t until about three years later that people really stopped talking about it.” That had been a bad time for Maz. When people had clearly decided Rey was dead and that they should all move on. “That’s why we really don’t want the press to find out now. It’ll be a circus again.”

A breeze began to pick up and Maz watched it for a moment as it ruffled Rey’s hair slightly, moving her curls about. It was such a peaceful sight. Just a beautiful girl in a blue dress sitting on a garden swing and staring at the sky. At a glance you would never know what had happened.

Maz turned away from it and moved the sedum in front of the aeonium.

-

Although they had closed up the shop and all taken time off Chewie found himself there anyway, tinkering about with a dismantled car engine and listening to shitty rock music with Han.

They weren’t always a talkative pair; get them onto a certain topic or make them tell stories from their younger years and they could talk someone’s ear off but generally when they were alone they were quiet. Chewie hadn’t really wanted to leave Rey and come into the shop but he sensed that Maz wanted to be with her for a bit. It hadn’t been lost on him that Rey seemed to prefer him these days.

Putting down the engine parts he was holding Chewie turned to his friend. 

“Han?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there an old phone lying about at yours anywhere? That you could give to me for Rey?”

“Leia kept her last phone. It’s like two years old now but still works fine. She said she needed a bigger screen for her eyes but really she just wanted the latest model.”

“Would she let Rey have it? Maz and I think it would give her some independence.”

Han nodded enthusiastically for several beats before answering, “Yeah totally. I can swing by yours when we get back and get you it.” There was a long silence between them that was entirely comfortable, both men simply thinking their own thoughts.

“How is she?”

“I mean, I think she’s getting a bit better. Her bruises have faded loads, when she first came back she was covered in them and they were super dark but now it’s not so bad. She’s seeing a therapist tomorrow. A guy who sees abuse victims.”

“That’ll help. Police doing anything?”

Chewie chuckled wryly to himself at this question, it was hard for him to think about those two teenagers as police. God, he was old.

“They interview her and always look exhausted but haven’t actually found anything. Trying not to think about them.”

“Why not?” asked Han, “are they not updating you about the case?”

“If I think about what they’re doing I think about the bastard that took her. And then I get too angry to do anything. Need to stay calm and help her.”

He turned back to the disassembled engine in front of him and tried to work on it again. Even a couple of questions from Han had him itching to run back home and check on Rey. It was killing him to be away from her like this, he hadn’t been gone for more than two hours but Chewie knew he was reaching his limit. He would stay for a little bit longer, make sure things were tidy and then head home and stay there forever. 

Just as Chewie twisted his body to reach for a different tool he felt his earring get caught in his hair. Reaching to untangle it he paused for a moment before taking it out completely. He should probably ask Rey if she wanted this back, it was her earring after all. Then again, she had yet to even notice that he wore her jewelry sometimes. Maybe he would just keep wearing it until she asked to have it back. Putting it back in Chewie knew he was overthinking this but the anxiety of being away from Rey was beginning to get to him. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head back off home. Will you let me know about a phone?”

“Yeah, of course mate. It was really great to see you. Give Maz and Rey my love.”

Chewie didn’t bother to clear up the mess he had made, just shrugged on his jacket and nodded at Han before heading out the back of the shop and to his car, praying that nothing bad had happened to Rey while he was out. 

He definitely wasn’t going to be going anywhere after this for a while.

-

Finn really hated the police that hung around their houses. 

Logically he knew they were there to help, to monitor Rey and make sure that nothing happened to her but that didn’t stop him from hating them all the same. It felt so intrusive, these strangers who sat in their car and watched as people came and went and who never spoke to anyone. Besides, Rey wasn’t doing anything. Except for yesterday’s trip to their house she had stayed at home, not even leaving to see police or go to hospital or even on a walk. How necessary was it to always be there when she clearly wasn’t going to go anywhere?

Finn turned his back to the front window, knowing that it was completely necessary really. God, he was bored. It wasn’t even like he was used to having a super busy life, normally he would just be working with his Dad and Chewie, seeing his few friends, going out with Poe. Despite attempts to spend his time planning a wedding he still couldn’t find much to do. People who said it was massively stressful and time consuming were clearly liars. 

He ambled out into the garden with his laptop, half thinking that he would work on the guest list out there, half thinking that Rey might be outside and they could talk.

His laptop was quickly abandoned on the outside table when he saw that Rey was outside, sitting on her patio and pulling weeds out from a pot.

“Morning.” He had been aiming for cheery but Finn was pretty sure he just sounded insecure.

Rey jumped at the sound of his voice but visibly relaxed when she saw who had spoken.

“Morning, Finn.”

“Maz putting you to work in that garden?”

The shy little chuckle from Rey that he got made all the boredom of not doing anything completely worth it.

“Yeah she is. But I don’t mind, it’s nice out here.”

“It looks really lovely out there,” Finn paused before he spoke again, choosing his words carefully, “as do you.” 

The way Rey ducked her head reminded Finn of the way she would always blush furiously whenever someone complimented her appearance when they were younger. If you said anything about how fast she was at running or how good she was at science then she would happily accept the compliment but any others would make her bashful. 

They stood facing each other in silence for a long while. As Finn was racking his brain for something to talk about Rey spoke up. 

“Finn? Can I ask you a favour?”

“Sure. Anything you want.”

“Can you drive?” He wasn’t sure what he had expected Rey to ask him for but it wasn’t anything to do with driving. 

“Yeah I can. Poe and I have a little car together. Why do you ask?”

“I have this therapy session tomorrow and I was hoping you would drive me.” Her voice became higher at the end of her sentence, asking him a question.

“I’d love too. Tell me when and where we’re going and I’ll take you.”

“I’ll get you the paper.”

Rey turned and slipped back into the house leaving a slightly stunned Finn on the other side of a fence. It was only driving her to therapy but it would be just them. No well intentioned parents hanging around them, just the two of them in Finn’s slightly dodgy red car.

He had only been there a moment when Rey came back clutching a note.

“I wrote the address and time on there. Are you sure you’re ok to do this?”

“Completely sure.” Just as Finn took the paper from Rey he noticed how her gaze shifted and she stared at something behind him. He turned to see Ben had emerged from the house and was now standing and staring at Rey.

They all stood still for a second before Rey shyly waved at Ben and went back into the house, not waiting to catch Ben’s awkward wave back.   
Finn looked at the paper he was holding. The address wasn’t one he recognized but that wasn’t a problem, he would just look it up online. It was her handwriting that distracted him. She hadn’t written it out normally but written it all in capital letters. It almost looked printed. 

He tucked it away into his pocket and nodded at Ben, heading into the house. He couldn’t care less about writing a guest list right now, he was far too busy thinking about tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Finn and Rey go to therapy.
> 
> there will be a rey and ben interaction either next chapter or the one after i promise!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to therapy.

Chewie didn’t understand what Rey had just said.

“What do you mean Finn is taking you tomorrow?”

“I mean he’s driving me to therapy. I asked and he said he would.”

Perhaps it was unreasonable for Chewie to be this angry about this situation, after all hadn’t he wanted her to be more independent. And she had a phone now, she would call him if she needed to. All this logic didn’t stop Chewie from being mad at her. 

If something happened she would need him not Finn. 

“Why did you ask Finn, love?” Maz asked Rey, unknowingly giving more time to let Chewie get a grip of himself.

“Because I want to spend some time with him. And I don’t want to go alone.”

“You know we were planning to go with you. To meet him.”

“He’s just a therapist that the police know. It’s not like anything is going to happen.”

“Anything could happen.” Chewie muttered darkly almost unaware that he had spoken.

Rey’s face was hard. As much as he wanted to fight her on this, lay down the law and make sure that it was him and Maz that took her tomorrow he could sense that that wouldn’t happen. She reminded him of Maz for a moment.

“You said you would support me. So support me.” 

Maz shared a look with Chewie and he nodded tersely.

“Did you tell him where you were going and when.”

“Yeah, I wrote it down for him.”

Memories of Rey’s messy handwriting came into his head and Chewie chuckly lightly. 

“Good luck to him trying to read that.”

As they all turned back to their dinner there was no more sound except them eating. Slowly as the atmosphere lightened Chewie was able to relax more and more. She simply wanted to spend time with Finn and probably get away from her parents. Although if she was with the police in the morning and at therapy in the afternoon she really would be getting away from them; they would hardly see her at all.

“Will you show me how to use my phone more after dinner?”

Both Chewie and Maz immediately agreed to help her.

-

Maz could strangle her husband. If he wasn’t about three times her size she probably would have by now.

“You can’t act like that. You can’t talk to her like that.”

Chewie didn’t reply to her initially and she felt her irritation rise even more as he calmly continued to get ready for bed.

“It’s not necessary for you to get so angry at her just because she wants someone else to do something for her.”

“I know.” The resignation in Chewie’s voice told her that he did know it had been too much. This didn’t soften Maz at all however. Rey needed parents who would stand by her and protect her but she also needed ones who would support her choices and let her grow and Maz could see that Chewie’s earnest desire to keep Rey wrapped up was going to come into conflict with the fact that she wouldn’t always want that.

“You have to stop trying to control what she does so much. That’s not what she needs.”

Something in Chewie seemed to go slightly and he dropped the shirt he was holding, staring at the floor before looking up at Maz in bed. 

“I’m not controlling what she does, I’m protecting her. What if therapy really upsets her and Finn doesn’t know what to do? She’ll need us.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment and Maz willed herself to keep at least a bit calm. The last thing Rey would need was to hear her parents fighting about her, especially not when tomorrow was going to be such a difficult day for her.

“If we act like this, all demanding and controlling then she won’t trust us. It’s like she says, she hasn’t done anything for seven years and now all she wants is to spend time with Finn.”

“If she wants to spend time with Finn she can just ask him over again. She knows we wouldn’t mind that.”

“Does she know? Given how you reacted the first time she wanted to see him?”

Chewie was silenced by this and Maz could feel guild and frustration rolling off him. She hoped desperately that Rey wouldn’t be able to sense the hostility between them in this moment, her room was right by theirs after all.

“Finn is a good guy. He loves her. When has he ever done anything to let her down before?”

There was no answer to this and Maz knew Chewie knew this. Ever since the day Rey first came to their house and met Finn he had stood by her, sat next to her in class and fought to keep her case going. If Rey went with him she would be protected and cared about and more importantly would feel like her parents were standing by her not fighting her. And Maz would do anything to make sure that she always felt this way. 

She watched Chewie as he began to get ready for bed again, aware that she had won this fight but also sensing that Chewie wouldn’t stop behaving like this. She knew he thought he had failed to protect Rey once before and was determined that he never would again.

He slid into bed beside and gathered Maz into his arms, holding her tight. Although his move surprised her she was grateful for it, grateful to be held by him and feel like he was holding her together. When Rey was very little and she had bad dreams Maz would hold her in their bed and Chewie would hold Maz. Now that Rey seemed to have nothing but bad dreams wanted to do this again. But Rey had grown up and become wary of physical contact and so Maz settled for just being held by her husband. 

“We can’t ever fight. Not now.” He murmured into the top of her head. 

Maz simply sighed and wriggled a little bit closer into his chest.

-

Finn had been jittery all morning and downright irritating during lunch. He had memorized the address Rey had given him and put her phone number into his phone. It took all of his self restraint to stop himself from calling her but he managed to, reminding himself that she was being interviewed by the police and so wouldn’t be able to pick up if he did. The knowledge that any other time he would be able to grab his phone and talk to her did lift a huge weight off him. Even living in the house next to his she felt so remote and removed from him. This made her seem a little bit closer. He really hoped to be able to take some pictures with her at some point so that he would always be able to look at them during the times when they couldn’t talk. 

When she finally walked out of her door Finn had been waiting for several minutes, having left his house to hang out by his car so that she would see him immediately. He really didn’t want her to think he had forgotten about driving her. 

He noticed as she hugged Maz and Chewie how apprehensive she looked but put it down to seeing a therapist. Finn knew how scary it was, especially the first couple times.

When Rey had slid into the passenger seat and was putting on her seatbelt Finn let out a breath he wasn’t fully aware he had been holding. It felt really nice to properly be alone together.

“I can’t imagine you driving. Am I safe?”

“Slow and steady wins the race is my motto so you’re dangerously safe.” The soft little chuckle from Rey that was accompanied by a small smile made Finn’s day.  
They sat quietly for several minutes but Finn didn’t mind, the drive would be kind of long and they would have time to talk. Besides Rey was so absorbed in watching the world beyond the car window that he felt it would be a bit rude to start talking and distract her. Surprisingly however she spoke up.

“Dad almost didn’t let me come here with you. He got all mad when I said I had asked you.”

Finn felt worried at hearing this. An angry Chewie was not something he needed. 

“What made him change his mind?”

“I think Mum talked to him. He didn’t kick up any fuss about it this morning at least,” Rey was quiet for a little while, still watching the world pass outside, “although he was more rude than normal to the police today.”

This made Finn pause for a moment. Chewie had never liked the police but he thought that he would be a bit better with them now, especially because the detectives working on the case now hadn’t had anything to do with the original investigation. 

“How was it with the police today?”

“Fine.”

Not expecting Rey to expand on this Finn was surprised when she spoke up again. 

“They kept asking about the house. I couldn’t tell them much and I thought they would get mad but they said it was really useful. I think they’re trying to find the house more than him right now.”

Judging by the way Rey turned away from him slightly Finn concluded that conversation for the moment was over. It didn’t pick up again until they were almost there and they begun to talk about his job with his dad and Chewie at the garage. 

The therapists office was in a big, redbrick building. One that hard clearly once been a massive house but that had now been divided up. Parking the car carefully he noticed that one of the names on the sign was that of the therapist Rey had been told about by police. 

“Finn?” Rey suddenly sounded much younger as they got out of the car and she seemed to have shrunk in on herself a little bit.

“Yeah?”

“Can you do that talking? To tell them I’m here?”

“Of course.”

They climbed the couple steps up to the door and Finn held it upon for Rey who slipped in and half hid behind him.

“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked them.

“Yeah uh, this is Rey Kanata to see Baze Malbus.” 

The receptionist nodded at Finn and began to type something before looking up at them and speaking again, “Take a seat. He’ll be out soon.”

Finn took a seat in the waiting area next to Rey and let her get comfortable before talking.

“I’m gonna wait out here while you’re in there. If you need to come out I’ll be here.”

Rey nodded at him, staring right at him while holding her hand tightly together. They were only sitting like that for a moment before a door behind them opened and a man stepped out. Finn hadn’t really thought about a man called Baze would look like but this guy definitely fitted his name. All long hair with bits of grey in his beard Finn relaxed at the sight of him slightly. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to make assumptions of what this man would be like but he seemed the type who would properly listen to Rey and try and help her rather than make judgments about her.

“You must be Rey. I’m Baze.”

Rey had stepped out from Finn slightly when they had stood up and he watched as she nodded at him but didn’t speak. Finn decided to step forward and shake the mans hand. His mother did always say that a little bit of politeness went a long way. 

“I’m Finn Solo. Good to meet you.” 

Baze Malbus shook it back and smiled at Finn, turning back to Rey once they had finished shaking hands but didn’t make a move to shake hers. Instead he stepped to the side and gestured into his office behind him. 

“We’re in here Rey. If you want anything or the door to be open or to leave early then just let me know.”

Finn watched as Rey stepped into the room and Baze followed her, pulling the door ajar but not shutting it completely. He sat back down in his chair in the waiting room and reached for his bag and his laptop, imagining that he would get something done while they were in their session.

Despite the fact that he got absolutely nothing done and spent most of the time staring at the door Rey had disappeared behind time still seemed to move pretty fast. Maz texted him about fifty times asking about what was happening and Finn did his best to reassure her even though Rey hadn’t come out of the room at all and even through the slightly open door he couldn’t hear anything that was being said.

When they stepped out Finn searched Rey’s face for any signs of tears or distressed but she seemed perfectly calm to him. Calmer than she had been when she had gone in. She walked to him without turning back to face her therapist until she was by his side. Finn took this as meaning that it was up to him to speak again.

“Did it go ok?” Rey nodded a couple times and then looked up at Baze.

“I think it went very well. If you would like another appointment Rey please call and let me know. Choose a time that works for you and we can see each other regularly. It was good to meet you Finn.”

Finn shook his hand and watched as he returned to his room and shut the door then faced Rey.

“Was it alright?”

“I think I like him. He’s nicer than the police.” 

Grabbing his bag Finn walked out of the building behind Rey, pausing only to nod at the receptionist and not speaking again until they were strapped into the car and driving away. 

“Do you want to talk about it more?”

Rey was silent for a long time, looking first at her hands and then out at the front of the car.  
“Not really. Can we listen to something?”

“Sure what would you like?”

“Something you like. Your kind of music.”

Fin slowed the car down, glad they were still on a quiet side street as he grabbed his phone and choose one of the hundreds of playlists he had made for himself in his free time. 

As they sat together in silence listening to some slow, folky song Finn decided to drive home a slightly longer way, wanting to savour this moment just a little bit more.

-

Chewie was beginning to be able to identify Rey’s different silences. Or at least he could go as far as being able to tell an unhappy one from a happy one. And although she didn’t seem to be exactly happy right now she definitely wasn’t sad. He had yet to call Finn and ask about how the therapy had gone but he didn’t think it was incredibly urgent to. Rey might be even quieter than normal but she seemed content, watching Maz cook dinner and drawing little patterns on the kitchen table.  
Neither of them had properly asked her had things had gone beyond a simple greeting when she had come home and learning that this Baze Malbus had nice hair. 

They didn’t have time to find out about it during dinner either. Rey was clearly far away, up in the clouds and hardly answering any of their questions about anything or participating in conversation much.

She helped them to do the dishes but didn’t stay to watch TV or anything, instead padding upstairs. Chewie heard the bath running and realized she was heading straight to bed. 

Falling onto the sofa beside Maz they watched the news together. Although they knew the police would tip them off if Rey’s return got out they were both apprehensively checking constantly, terrified of the day when everyone would be talking about her again.

It was Maz who muted the news anchor and spoke up.

“I think it went well with the therapist.”

Chewie thought the same but he still wanted to know why she had assumed this.

“Why do you think that?”

“When she talks to the police she’s quiet after too but all agitated or sad. This time she was sad but calm and peaceful.”

“She didn’t seem sad.”

“Well she didn’t seem happy either.”

Chewie was about to speak up again but couldn’t find it in him. A day of not seeing Rey had meant a day of doing endless things to distract himself and it had left him surprisingly exhausted. Maybe he would call Finn tomorrow. 

He wasn’t able to fall asleep quite as quickly as he had thought he would however. The gentle sound of Rey pacing around her room into the night put him on edge and eventually worked it’s way into his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Rey and Ben finally interact. Ben POV
> 
> im so sorry that that wasnt as exciting as u might have hoped!  
> but she really just needs to catch a break and see a therapist!  
> i really hope u liked it anyway :)  
> comments make my day


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally talks to Rey.

Ben thought about that little wave Rey had given him a lot. And the soft smile when she was leaving yesterday. He wondered what she looked like when she smiled, properly smiled, all teeth and aching cheeks. 

He also thought about her in her blue sundress. It was like some strange painting. The gentle perfection of a young woman in a pretty dress juxtaposed with her bruises and concerning weight. When she waved he had seen fading red lines around each of her wrists. Someone really should take her to see a doctor.  
With his head full to the brim with so many thoughts Ben felt slightly out of it all day. He learnt at lunch that Finn was going to drive Rey to her first therapy session tomorrow and although Ben was glad Rey was going to get that help he couldn’t help but feel surprised that she was only going to see someone now. He would’ve assumed that it would’ve happened straight away.

Finn remained tight lipped about his trip with Rey at dinner despite Leia’s best efforts to try and find something out and as the meal wore on he became more and more irritated by this, almost physically straining with the effort of not shouting at his mother. She really needed to shut up and respect the fact that Finn just wasn’t going to talk about it and move one. There were plenty of other things to talk about. A very small part of Ben that he wasn’t going to acknowledge did agree with her when she pestered Finn about it, his curiosity about Rey that he really hated wanted to know all about what had happened.

For once Ben hung around after dinner and ended up helping to wash the dishes alongside his father, something he enjoyed deep down. He might’ve cared about Finn the most but he had the least strained relationship with his father.

“Good day?” Han asked as he dried up after Ben.

“I mean, I guess. Didn’t do anything different.”

“Y’know I was thinking Ben,” he begun to feel apprehensive at hearing his father say this and braced himself for whatever he said, “you should get out a bit more. Outside. I know you do your runs but it might do you good to see something beyond the basement.”

“Yeah, maybe,” was all Ben could think to say and Han dropped the topic, continuing to dry pots in silence.

“Did Mum out you up to saying that?” Ben asked a little while later, fully knowing that his father wouldn’t actually suggest something like that of his own accord.  
“Of course she did. She’s worried about you.”

This made Ben snort humourlessly. 

“I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

“Don’t be like that. She’s trying.”

“It’s a bit too late to start trying now.”

Ben knew he was being a dick. There wasn’t really a need to be talking to his father like that, after all it wasn’t him who had suggested that Ben would feel so much better if he went outside. No need to shoot the messenger. He couldn’t help it however. His mum hadn’t cared before so why start bothering now. Even in the past few months she hadn’t really been trying. But now that she was passing messages to him through his father suddenly he was supposed to think that she had his best interests at heart? She probably just wanted him out of the house.

There was an uneasy silence between them as they finished clearing up, both of them itching to leave the situation and go hide somewhere far away from the other. Han would go and tell Leia he passed his message on and not to blame him if Ben didn’t listen to it, Ben would go back downstairs and sulk. 

Ben found himself actually considering his father’s words when he was looking in the mirror much later that night however. He had always been pale but ever since he had become a recluse hiding from the world he had managed to become even pale. Maybe seeing the sun a little bit more would help. 

Continuing his documentary about cults Ben spent a significant amount of time wondering if he would make a good cult leader. Probably not. He didn’t care about anything enough to try and inspire devotion in people.

-

Chewie could get used to this, he really could. Rey was far more upbeat than she had been ever since she had come home, talking more often and for longer. Her voice was still ever so soft and gentle and her eyes retained their intensity that sometimes made him uncomfortable but she seemed brighter than normal. 

He wasn’t so much of a fool that he thought it would last for long. The most he dared to hope for was a day or two of this. A couple days of eating in the sun and flowing conversation and general ease. Rey had asked a couple questions about the neighbourhood and what had changed and it warmed him more when she didn’t seem upset by the things had changed. A couple people had moved away and new ones had arrived but neither Maz nor Chewie had much to say about them. Ever since Rey had been taken they had stopped being social much, not really seeing anyone beyond the Solo’s and their coworkers.

Rey put her cutlery down and pushed her half eaten plate away from her before looking up at him and Maz. 

“I was thinking about going on a walk later.” She said conversationally, her inflection making it clear to him that she wasn’t asking a question.

Maz spoke up before him, sending him a quick warning glance.

“That sounds like a nice idea, where should we go?”

Rey paused for a moment briefly looking down at her hands then back up at them.

“Actually I want to go alone,” before either he or Maz could speak up again she continued, “just down the track to the fields. And I’d bring my phone. I wouldn’t be gone for long.”

There was a plaintive quality to Rey’s voice that made Chewie waver in his resolve. For all he wanted to say no, it isn’t safe, let one of us go with you, don’t go where I can’t keep you safe, he found he couldn’t. The muted desperation in her voice broke his heart and he couldn’t say no to her.

Sighing quietly he gave in slightly.

“What time were you thinking about going?”

Rey’s little smile at hearing that warmed his heart and told him he was making the right choice, even if he was going to be spending the whole time she was gone worrying about her.

-

Ben was around halfway down the track when he began to slow down. There was a bench around here somewhere between the trees that he wanted to sit on. No point just marching around and heading straight back home again, not when he could pause and take a little break.

As he approached it however he notice a slight figure sitting on it. A couple steps closer he realized it was Rey, sitting on the bench with her legs pulled up and her head rested on her knees. Ben slowed down and wondered what to do. He dithered about slightly, taking one step forward and then another back, before he decided to just speak up.

“Want some company?”

Rey looked away from the fields in front of her to look at him. Ben desperately hoped that he hadn’t overstepped her boundaries by offering. Before he became too worried however she nodded at him and moved across the bench slightly to make more room for him.

They sat together for a long while, looking out at the tree line at the end of the fields and Ben wondered if Rey knew that there was now a lake behind those trees. It wasn’t the most beautiful lake but it was genuinely rather pretty.

“Is he really getting married?” 

Ben didn’t turn to answer Rey, keeping his eyes on the view.

“Yeah he is.”

Ben wasn’t sure if he had ever felt this peaceful. He couldn’t help thinking about something Chewie had once said to him when he was a child. Sometimes it was just the little things. Sitting on a bench in the late afternoon sun with someone you cared about. Even if she didn’t know you cared.

“They built a lake behind those trees. A few years ago.”

“A whole lake?” He couldn’t miss the wonder in Rey voice at hearing this.

“Yeah. I mean it’s not very big or deep but it’s definitely a lake.”

He snuck a look at Rey for a moment and smiled to himself at seeing her dreamy expression. Although he hated to ruin the simplicity of this moment Ben couldn’t restrain himself from speaking again.

“Did you not believe Finn was getting married?”

“Yeah I did, it’s just kind of hard to believe.” Ben was quiet, sensing that Rey had more to say and was just working it out. “Seven years, it’s a long time. But I guess I didn’t realise just how long.”

They sat in silence again. Ben wanted to talk to her again, learn more about her, hear her voice but he couldn’t bring himself to. There were so many things he wanted to ask both big and small yet he felt asking her anything right now would be the wrong move. She had let him sit here alongside her but he guessed from the fact that she was out here alone that she had wanted to get away and be by herself for a while. Sitting beside her would have to be enough.

He watched as the sun moved slowly down the sky, not setting yet but getting closer to it, not daring to look around at Rey and break the magic of the moment and tried to believe they were in the proper countryside and not just on the edge of town by a couple of fields and trees.

“Do you want to see the lake?” Ben spoke without really realising. Feeling Rey shift next to him slightly he could sense he eyes on him but didn’t look, keeping his eyes on the trees that hid the little lake from sight.

“Yes.” 

At the sound of her voice Ben finally allowed himself to look at her. She was beautifully lit by the sun now and he felt a little bit of hope creeping into his heart. Nothing about her told him he had overstepped or that he was unwelcome. He wasn’t sure if she looked happy, she seemed more content and tranquil.

Slowly he stretched his legs out and then got up, taking a step away from the bench as Rey also stood up. She wasn’t as short as she had seemed when he had first seen her but standing beside Chewie would make anyone seem small he realised. There was still a big difference in their heights however and Ben made sure to take more slow strides to help match Rey’s pace, especially as she seemed to be walking particularly slowly with very deliberate steps and was staring all around them. 

A few times he wondered if Rey was going to say something but she never did and Ben took her silence as a cue not to speak himself. He wondered briefly about asking about her day and how did she convince Chewie to let her walk about alone but thought better of it. Speaking might spoil the moment.

When they finally got through the trees and saw the little lake Ben worried for a moment she would be disappointed, after all it really was much more of a pond than a lake. Her little gasp and shining eyes calmed him however. 

What a simple thing it is to show someone something beautiful. 

Standing in silence Ben watched as Rey walked forward and crouched to dip her hand into the water, holding it under the water the briefest of moments before pulling it back out. He watched as the ripples she caused travelled over the water before fading away.

“Ben?” Ben ripped his eyes away from the water to stare at Rey would had stood back up without him noticing.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m, I’m gonna go home now. Thank you.”

Before he could offer to walk her back or even say anything she had turned around and started to walk away, wiping her hand on her dress before tucking her little hands away in her pockets, leaving Ben alone by the water.

It was much later when he finally began to make his way home. Rey had seemed to take away his ability to move or even think logically. Making his way home Ben felt no sense of urgency, he took his time walking back up the track and to their street. Just as he reached his house he decided not to tell his family about seeing Rey. 

What she choose to tell her parents was up to her but it didn’t feel right to him to tell other people about it. It had felt so personal, a moment shared just between them free of anything or anyone, like they were the only two people in the world experiencing that moment. But Rey might not feel that way.

He still felt like he was in a daze as he got in, hardly registering Leia’s presence in the kitchen as he headed down into his basement.

As he walked around his room and tidied it up a little bit he replayed the sound of Rey thanking him over and over until he couldn’t remember it properly, becoming all distorted in his memory. Sitting down on his bed he grabbed his laptop. Only half watching his show, Ben daydreamed about Rey. He could show her other lovely things, actually go to the countryside. Maybe even hold her little hand one day. If he showed her every beautiful thing in the world, it might even make him begin to feel better too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Rey visits a doctor. Maz POV
> 
> i spent so long trying to write this that i think its kind of bad and underwhelming and far too short but i hope u like it anyway  
> thank u sm for all ur comments- they mean the world!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's appointment with a doctor.
> 
> warning- mentions of physical abuse and weight loss.

For the first time since her return to them Rey slept in that morning and Chewie cursed every God he could think of when he had to wake her up. Until now she had woken up at six every single morning without fail, immediately coming downstairs whether or not he and Maz were awake yet. He felt like it was some kind of cruel irony that the first time she breaks this habit and sleeps in later is the same morning they have to leave the house so that she can visit the doctor. 

Today’s doctor visit had been the cause of fierce, muted argument between him and Maz the night before. While he wanted both of them to go, even if he just stayed out in the waiting room when Rey went in Maz thought that would be too much, too intense. After all, it was just a checkup. Eventually Maz had won and now Chewie was resigned to enjoy breakfast with Rey as best as he could, knowing that he would be left at home for a few hours at most and left to worry about her the whole time. He couldn’t understand how Maz did it, how was she not dying of fear every moment she wasn’t with Rey? Maybe she could tell him the secret and then he could relax more. 

Rey being home still felt like a dream to him, one he kept expecting to wake up from. God knew he had imagined she had come home to them a thousand times before.

“Your mum will take you there and come into the appointment with you. The police are coming over later in the afternoon, when you’re back and we’ve had lunch.”  
Rey nodded at him and went back to picking at her breakfast. Normally she ate the most in the morning but Chewie noticed today she had hardly touched anything.

He guessed she was worried about the doctor but he didn’t try to reassure her. Sometime he worried that they should press Rey to eat more but had decided against trying that in case it made things worse. 

“How long will it take?” 

“We don’t know. It depends on what the doctor wants to talk about. But it shouldn’t be long. We’ll definitely be back for lunch and whatever disastrous meal your fathers made.” Maz answered Rey who chuckled at her comment and ate a bite of her breakfast.  
They finished their meal mostly in silence and while Rey went away to get dressed Maz picked up her plate and put it in the fridge. When Chewie raised an eyebrow she shrugged at him.

“She might be hungrier when we get back.”

He nodded at her and turned to make himself more coffee while Maz went to get ready to go as well. It was going to be a very long morning for him.

-

Amilyn Holdo had never been quite so nervous about seeing a patient before. For all her professionalism, training and intense reading of the initial police examination she was still terrified of this appointment. This was not just a battered young woman or abuse victim and there were endless ways she knew she could mess up and affect the recovery.

Setting her shoulders back she stepped out into the waiting room, grateful that it was empty apart from a young woman she recognised as Rey and her mother.

“Rey Kanata?”

Rey nodded and begun to get up, Maz doing the same until Rey turned back to her. She spoke so softly that Amilyn missed what she said but given by the way Maz sighed slightly and sat back down Amilyn gathered that Rey had asked to come in alone.

As they walked into her room Amilyn gently shut the door and gestured to the seat near her desk for Rey to sit in it.

“Hello Rey, I’m Dr Amilyn Holdo. I would like to ask you some questions about your physical health first and if it’s ok with you do a few very small physical examinations. But only if you ask. Anything you tell me will be between us, I’m not obligated to share anything with the police.”

Rey nodded, fidgeting in her seat slightly. Amilyn noticed the way she was resting her fingers on her left wrist slightly. 

“I read the initial police examination and I would like to start by going over some of the injuries mentioned in that.” Amilyn paused before saying anything else, hoping that Rey understood that if she didn’t want to do something then she wouldn’t have to.

“Ok.”

“Can you just show me your wrists? And then turn them over?”

As Rey followed her instructions she looked without touching and wrote down what she saw, feeling Rey’s eyes on her the whole time.

“Could you take your cardigan off so I can quickly see your arms? Thank you. And turn so I can see your neck?” 

While Rey shrugged back into her cardigan Amilyn looked down at her notes, shocked by intensity of some of the marks on Rey but somewhat satisfied with her recovery so far. 

“If it’s ok with you could you please lift your skirt you to your mid thighs so I can see your legs.” There was a slight pause before Rey did this and Amilyn was worried it was too much, but she did need to see Rey’s legs. 

“And can you please take your shoes off for a moment so I can see your feet.”

Amilyn nodded at Rey and told her to put her shoes back on before finishing up her notes. She was glad that most of her injuries appeared to be superficial.

“Is there anything else?” Rey asked her still seeming on edge.

“Yes. I’d like to weigh you and measure your height.”

Rey’s weight and skin colour was the most shocking aspect of her physical appearance and the thing Amilyn wanted to follow up on the most. That and the way Rey rested her wrist in her lap. When they were both sat back down again Amilyn began to print out a couple of pages of information before turning back to Rey.

“Everything seems to be ok physically Rey apart from a few things. I’d like you to put a bit of weight on, you’re severely under nourished. How do you find eating?”

There was a long silence before Rey answered her.

“Hard. It doesn’t,” Rey stopped for a moment and Amilyn fought the urge to reassure her, instead trying to give Rey the time to figure out what she wanted to say, “it doesn’t feel right.”

“That’s ok. There’s information about lots of things here but especially some foods you could have to help you gain weight, things you don’t have to eat a lot of for it to really help. I also want you to put on lots of sun cream when you go outside, especially if it’s sunny. You’ve not had much sun exposure for a while and you can burn very easily.”

Amilyn stopped talking and let Rey read over the sheets she had given her, letting Rey read them over slowly. When Rey looked up and didn’t ask her any questions she assumed it would be ok to continue. 

“I’d also like to ask you about your left wrist,” Rey seemed to instinctively inch her right hand closer to it but stopped herself from moving it any further, “does it hurt?”

“Sometimes. I hurt it, really badly once. It’s not really been the same since.”

“Would it be ok if I touched it?”

Rey held out her wrist and Amilyn gently touched it as lightly as she could. Noticing how the bone felt marginally off she rested Rey’s wrist back down in her lap.  
“Do you know when this happened?”

Rey shook her head and held Amilyn’s gaze for a moment before looking back down again.

“Do you try to hide that it hurts sometimes?”

At this Rey nodded but kept her eyes down on her wrist. 

“Rey, I’m going to contact the hospital,” at this Rey’s head shot right back up again, panic visible in her eyes, “just so you can see a specialist doctor. You’re wrist might need some more attention than I can give it. This isn’t because you’re badly hurt or in trouble, it’s just a precaution.”

“How will I know? About the hospital?” She asked and Amilyn smiled reassuringly. 

“We’ll send you a letter. I’d also like to make another appointment with you in a few weeks, to see how you’re doing.”

Amilyn stopped talking for a moment and watched Rey fidget with the papers slightly.

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about? Any concerns or things you think might be important?”

“No, I’m ok. Thank you.” The small smile that Rey gaze Amilyn melted her heart just a little bit and she smiled back, waving at Rey and her mother as they left.

-

“The doctor seemed nice.” Maz said when they were back in the car and heading home. Rey had been quite since leaving, not talking since she gave Maz some pages of information and saying a little bit of what the doctor had said. She had tried not to ask Rey too many questions, knowing full well that Chewie would ask her when they all got home. Nevertheless she couldn’t resist talking anyway, needing some kind of distraction from the residual nerves Rey going into her appointment alone had created for her.

“Mmm,” Rey murmured, looking out of the window as she spoke again, “I liked her hair.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a doctor look so glamorous.”

Rey nodded at Maz but kept her gaze on the world outside. The drive was easy and peaceful and Maz felt her mind drift away as she drove through familiar streets. These were the streets Rey had been raise on, the doctors surgery she had always gone to as a child, the town center where they had shopped for school clothes together just a few moments away. Maz sighed to herself. Another life.

As they pulled into their street she saw the family that lived several houses up from them getting out of their car and caught a glimpse of their youngest child running up to the front door. Maz looked back at them in her mirror and watched as the mother picked her child up and walked into the house. Getting out of her own car with her own child Maz thought back on Rey. 

When Rey had been gone she had wanted her back every minute of every day but would never have given anything to change their circumstances. Rey might’ve been gone but she would always come back to then and Maz would wait until the end of time for that. But now she was less sure. If someone came to her and told her she could go back, that Rey would be a fat little child running into her arms again and nothing would happen, would she take it? Would she give up the daughter she now had, the one she had waited so long for?

Maz wasn’t sure. 

To her surprise Chewie wasn’t waiting by the door or pacing in the kitchen. In fact at first glance he was nowhere to be seen. A quick glance into the garden however showed her he was out there, reading on a bench. Or more precisely, holding a book in his lap while he slept on a bench.

Rey chuckled at the sight and put the papers down on the table on her way to the fridge. After looking into it briefly she turned to Maz.

“He actually cooked,” she said and turned to look at Chewie in the garden. “Should we wake him up?”

“Lunch isn’t for a while. Let’s let him sleep.”

-

Despite his best efforts Chewie couldn’t get much out of Rey about the doctors beyond the information about her wrist and putting on weight. He wished that Maz had been there with Rey so that he would know everything that had happened but he supposed he had to resign himself to Rey’s minimal answers. 

When Rey drifted off into the garden with some comic book from her room Chewie sat down to read the doctors information while Maz researched what happened when someone broke their wrist but it didn’t heal properly. Just as he was about to suggest a shopping trip so that they would have all the foods the doctor suggested Maz spoke up.

“How did we not notice? She’s been hurting this whole time and we didn’t see.”

Chewie put the page he was holding down and hung his head in his hands. They had failed her again. Left her injured and hurting and some doctor noticed during a quick checkup when they hadn’t. How could they do that to her?

That morning when they had left he had imagined such a lovely future. One where they went on a holiday together and Rey ate all her meals. One where she didn’t cry alone in her sleep but came to them and slept in their bed when she was afraid. She wouldn’t have to get a job or leave home, they would support her and help her get back on her feet slowly. He didn’t imagine a future where she never jumped at loud noises on TV or where she stopped staring at the sky with wonder but he hoped for one where she was healthier and happier and he could look after her. 

How would he ever be able to give her that future?

He lifted his head up to look out of the back windows. Rey was there, reading in the sun like she didn’t have a care in the world. Maz followed his gaze.

“She should be wearing sun cream, she’ll get burnt.”

Chewie stayed sitting while she got up and went into the kitchen, digging around in a cupboard before heading out to Rey with some in hand. He picked up the page he had been reading about exercise, gentle activities to help build muscle. 

As Maz came back inside and sat down with him again he grabbed her hand and held it tightly, unwilling to let go. 

“It’s not our fault we didn’t notice. She hid it from us.” Maz said, clinging onto his hand with equal intensity.

“Will they have to break her wrist again? So that it heals properly?” He said after a pause, nodding at her laptop.

“Maybe. It depends how bad it is I suppose.”

Before they could talk any longer they were interrupted by the familiar sound of the police arriving and Chewie cursed whatever God there was once again that they would have to disturb Rey’s peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: a simple family life.
> 
> for once im happy with how a chapter turned out!  
> this is quite angsty but i promise there are better days  
> im aware that jyn and cassian seem like the worst detectives in the world because they havent found anything yet but thats partly because i dont want to be too focused on a police/procedural thing


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia makes plans

Leia was planning something. Ben could see the thoughts going round in her head, the ideas forming and he knew it wouldn’t be anything good. At least not for him. His mother’s plans had never once, in 31 years been anything he enjoyed or thought were a good idea. For a long time he had seen that as a flaw in her and her inability to understand but now he didn’t completely blame her. He was an incredibly difficult person after all. Her plans being awful experiences for him was still mostly her fault though. 

She revealed her plan to them all at lunch the day after Ben had seen Rey and his mind was still too full of that to really hear what she said the first time. He definitely heard it when Poe repeated it however. 

“Dinner with the Kanata’s?”

“Yes. I haven’t spoken to Maz or Chewie but it think it would be a nice thing for us all to do together.” Ben narrowed his eyes at Leia slightly, there was somehow more to this than just a nice thing to do together.

Finn spoke up before he could however, sounding as confused as Ben felt but lacking Ben’s suspicions.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean she’s only been with us together once. And dinner is different from just a drink.”

“We aren’t strangers. We’re her family too.” Leia justified, her voice remaining steady and impassive as she continued to eat.

There was an uneasy silence around the table for a moment and Ben saw the way Finn and Poe caught each other’s eyes for a moment, sharing a look that spoke volumes but that Ben couldn’t understand. It was something between them. 

It was Leia who broke the silence, her voice taking on an edge of irritation.

“I was going to call round this afternoon and ask in person. See if they’re free tomorrow evening. If anyone else would like to join me they’re welcome to.”

Her eyes stayed firmly trained on her plate while she spoke allowing Ben to keep watching her, trying to work out why she had suddenly had this idea. And why she wanted to do it so soon. It didn’t take him long to figure out why he thought she was acting like this, and although part of him told him he was being far too cynical and unkind to his mother another part of him said that he was right.

She felt left out. Rey had come home and Leia had been banished from the Kanata’s house along with the rest of them and she wanted to be involved. After all she had been like a second mother to Rey, one who had also lost her child.

This didn’t stop Ben becoming increasingly angry at her however. Rey had looked so uncomfortable last time and now Leia wanted to put her through that again just so that she could be involved in Rey’s life again instead of just having a bit of patience and waiting until Rey was better.

A much smaller, much less honourable part of Ben wasn’t angry at his mother however. This part of him was really excited for the chance to see Rey again and for longer than he had so far. He was determined to completely ignore this part of him though and focus on his mother’s madness.

Ben sat through the rest of the meal silently fuming. His father made a small and futile attempt to dissuade Leia from asking the Kanata’s over tomorrow, maybe next week would be better? When things had a chance to get even more settled? Leia wasn’t to be moved from her plan unsurprisingly and would only concede that if Maz and Chewie wanted to meet later then they would.

Instead of heading back down into his basement to mull over his mother’s actions Ben took advantage of the emptiness of the garden and made a beeline for the overgrown crowded back. Choosing not to sit in the swing seat as he definitely did not trust it to hold his weight anymore Ben sunk down beneath a tree and resting his head against the trunk.

Turning to the right he stared at the fence between their houses, trying to see if there was a gap in it anywhere but from his position he couldn’t see through. If he really wanted to be a creep and stare into someone else’s garden he could get up and walk back up to the house where the fence was at waist height and he would be able to see clearly over it, Ben thought. He stayed where he was however.

The longer he sat there the more he felt his anger at his mother lessening. Yes, it was shit of her to try and organize something that might affect Rey instead of just waiting and being patient but she had suffered too. She had lost a child that she wasn’t seeing. Besides, hadn’t Ben inserted himself into all of this when he hadn’t lost anything at all because of Rey’s disappearance. He reminded himself of his lack of relationship to Rey and of his callousness towards his family. And what did he know about Rey now anyway? Just because she had been uncomfortable the first time they were all together didn’t mean that she would be a second time. She had seemed ok around him when they had been together briefly. Who was to say she wouldn’t now. 

-

It was like waiting to be told off by a teacher thought Cassian, as he and Jyn mulled around their desks pretending to work but really waiting to be summoned by Superintendent Imwe. He knew they were going to be criticized and reprimanded by him although he still felt confidant that they would be kept on the case, not least because they had formed some kind of bond with Rey. There was part of him that was looking forward to this meeting with Imwe, it would give him a chance to voice his ideas to the chief and not get immediately shot down by Jyn.

When Imwe stepped out of his office at the end of the room and called their names however his part of him died a little bit. It was rare that Imwe flexed his authority over his detectives but in this moment he did and it made Cassian’s throat dry up in an embarrassing way.

As they sat across from him there was a long stretch of silence, everyone waiting for someone else to talk first.

“So,” Imwe spoke at last, his disappointment and anger palpable, “how is the Kanata case going?”

“We’ve been working on a profile of the kidnapper, sir. Using the physical descriptions provided by Rey Kanata as well as building a psychological profile of him.” Jyn answered, unsubtly dodging the question. 

“How do you think it is going? Because from where I’m sitting we have a dangerous kidnapper and a traumatized victim and neither of you are even close to solving it.”

“It’s going badly, sir.” Cassian said hoping that he would be able to work his issues the situation into the conversation. “We haven’t been able to build a comprehensive picture of the victim’s time in captivity let alone gain enough information to locate the location or perpetrator.”

Jyn shot him a dirty look at this assessment of their work but Imwe leaned forward slightly.

“I’ve read some of your reports. They’re patchy to say the least despite the hours of interviews you have conducted. Besides establishing a basic timeline they tell us very little.”

Both Jyn and Cassian sat in silence, neither of them knowing what the chief wanted them to tell him. Cassian shifted his weight in his seat and decided to take this moment to speak up.

“I think we should change the direction of the case. Stop taking what Rey has been saying as fact and work around her interviews more, creatively.” He said, struggling somewhat to finish his sentence as he searched for the right word.

Cassian felt Jyn’s eyes burning into his head but he kept his focus on Imwe, hoping for a chance to further elaborate.

“Why do you think we should do that Andor?”

He lent forward and gestured to the folder that had the summary of their work so far in it.

“I don’t think that we should be treating her as a source in the way that we have. Her statements are all over the place, her relationship with her captor is unclear, there are several conflicting facts in it. Yet we’ve been treating her word as gospel. For all we know she could be deliberately misleading us.”

Jyn scoffed at him and Cassian fought back the urge to make some kind of biting comment towards her. They were all quiet for a moment before Imwe spoke up.  
“What’s your opinion on the matter Erso?”

“My opinion? That we have an extremely traumatized young woman who has been isolated and abused since she was 14. Of course there are going to be inconsistencies in her statements.” Jyn paused for a moment, sitting back in her chair as some of the fight went out of her. “Besides, we have no other way of knowing anything about this guy. She’s our only source of evidence.”

Imwe looked between the two of them and then down at the folder on his desk before he spoke again.

“Erso’s right, she’s our only way of finding this guy. We need her to trust you, understand what you’re trying to do. Be her point of contact, the people she’d turn to with information. Or better yet, be her friend.”

With that Imwe waved his hand slightly and they both got up to leave. Cassian walked straight through the office into the corridor beyond, feeling the anger rolling off Jyn and not wanting to make a scene in front of their coworkers and the other people on the case.

“What the fuck Cassian?” She exploded the moment the door shut behind them.

He took a few more steps away from Jyn before turning around to face her, the anger clear across her face only making him angrier too.

“What?”

“What the hell was all that? Work more creatively? Not trust the victim we’re meant to be helping?”

“Look at what she says Jyn! It doesn’t make sense and we can’t work with half of it. I just think we could get further with this if we approach it differently.”

“There aren’t any different ways, she’s our only piece of evidence. We have to do what the chief wants, be her friend and get her trust. None of the ‘deliberately misleading us’ bullshit.”

“I don’t want to think that about her but how else can you explain all her inconsistencies?”

“Maybe the fact that she’s being interrogated by two strangers and forced to relive all her trauma. We both know what she’s been through, of course she’s going to be all over the place.”

Cassian knew this argument was going nowhere, both of them too angry at the other to listen properly and he was grateful for the appearance of Jyn’s intern Rook as it forced them into silence. He only walked past them briefly and continued down the corridor but it broke the tension. Before he could continue fighting Jyn and trying to justify his beliefs she turned on her heel and stalked back into the office leaving Cassian alone.

-

“What about pasta? Or that fish thing you and Poe like?” Leia asked, looking up from a cookery book.

“Didn’t Maz give you any suggestions?” 

“No. She only said that they would come unless something happened.”

Finn chose not to comment on this. He could see how important this was for his mother and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize her planning, even if he did think it was a bit premature. Besides, Ben had been a dick to her all day because of it, she didn’t need anymore.

“I mean, you probably should text Maz or something. There might be things Rey can’t eat or doesn’t like anymore.”

“I will when I’ve found something to make. Oh and I’ll remind them to dress nicely for it.”

“We’re dressing up for this now too?” 

Ben had slunk in from the garden finally and Finn felt the atmosphere in the room drop. Despite sending all afternoon outside he had still made his dislike for this clear. It was almost impressive.

“Yes we are. We’re going to wear something nice and eat dinner together and have one night. Just one night.”

The pain that Leia was so obviously trying to keep hidden was slowly creeping into her voice and Finn desperately racked his brain, trying to think of anything to say before Ben could get some kind of comment in and upset her further.

“What about the pasta thing she used to really like? With the tomato sauce and that really fancy cheese?”

Leia turned to look at Finn and her eyes seemed unfocused for a moment before she roused herself and nodded.

“I’ll ask Maz if that’ll be ok.”

As Leia put away her book and left the kitchen Finn looked back at his laptop and the work he was doing, trying and failing to ignore Ben’s death stare. Eventually unable to pretend he wasn’t there any longer he turned to face him.

“What?”

Ben shrugged for a moment and moved to get a drink.

“You must think this is ridiculous too right?” He asked.

Finn was quiet for a moment, not wanting to concede anything to Ben right now.

“Yeah, I do. But you’ve seen how bad Mum wants this. And it might go well, you never know. Coffee the other day went alright really.”

They watched each other for a long while, neither speaking nor looking away until Ben shrugged and put his glass down.

“Well, you’ve got about 24 hours to try and choose what to wear. Better get going.” Ben said to Finn, not bothering to turn around.

Finn knew that it was just Ben being a dick and trying to insult him but Finn felt a little bit of worry begin to rise in his chest. Maybe he should start to go and look for a shirt now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Dinner time. Ben POV
> 
> it took me a minute to work out jyn and cassian in this chapter but i hope i did ok!  
> im giving up pretending this is in america and so next chapter will have stuff about the british education system  
> but i dont know how much is known about how school works here :/  
> hope u guys enjoyed!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the whole family
> 
> tw- mention of weight

Ben dreamt about Rey that night.

They’re together in the field they walked through but it’s different. Distorted. It seems to go on for miles around him and the trees shimmer, barely visible, on the horizon. The grass he normally has under his feet or around his ankles reaches up to his waist and hold him back, slowing his steps and keeping him from Rey as she runs ahead.

Her dress is the colour of the grasses and she blends into the until Ben can’t tell where she ends and they begin. 

Even though she keeps turning back to smile at him Ben just knows he has to get to her, that she's only safe with him and that he has to protect her but he can’t move quickly enough. Every step forward he takes she only gets further away and as she gets further and further away from him Ben feels his chest tighten more and more until he can hardly breathe.

Ben woke up tangled in his sheets and sweating profusely, his room too hot and his skin too tight. Freeing himself from his bedding he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling and fighting down the urge to vomit as his disgust at himself grew. When he’s awake he can almost justify how much he thinks about Rey to himself and explain it away but he can’t justify dreaming about her. It’s sick for him to dream about her. Perverted. Generally fucked up. 

Slowly Ben gradually became more aware of his surroundings as his heartbeat slowed and the nausea subsided. He’d only woken a couple of minutes sooner than he normally does and dawn is beginning to creep into his room through the thin window at the top of the basement, telling him to begin his day and not wallow in his self-hatred all day. As his brain started to properly function he remembered that it was the day they were going to eat with Rey. Now he would have to face her with the knowledge that not only did he thinking about he every moment when he was awake but that he dreamt of her too. 

It’s already hard enough to see her without imagining all sorts of horrible things now he has to add this to the mix. Maybe he should just go out tonight and skip dinner. 

No one would really miss him anyway. 

-

Despite his best efforts to spend all day hidden from his family and then sneak away to avoid dinner Ben found himself cleaning their dining room alongside Poe on his mother’s orders. Apparently eating in the kitchen wouldn’t be good enough and so while they had to clean Finn had been sent off to find some flowers to decorate and Han was up in the attic digging around for the fancy crockery. And they had all been banished from the kitchen while Leia cooked.

Logically Ben knew that Leia’s manic behaviour surrounding this dinner was just all her anxieties about Rey coming out sideways but this still didn’t stop him from being irritated by it. He also knew it was creepy and entirely unjustified for him to feel like he knew what was good for Rey and that no one else did but this also didn’t stop him from feeling like this whole dinner would just be too much for her. Hell, she hadn’t been able to come for a morning coffee without wanting to leave early.  
As he cleaned and ignored Poe Ben considered ways to avoid dinner himself but nothing came to mind. There were many benefits of cutting yourself off from your former toxic lifestyle and your manipulative boss but the downsides were that you were left with no friends and nothing to do.

Time moved faster than his brain however and he ended up setting the table with fancy wine glasses in one of his old shirts that he used to wear to the office before he could think of a way out. Just as he finished putting a glass down in every place there was a knock at the door and the sound of Leia welcoming everyone enthusiastically.

Shuffling behind Finn to the doorway Ben saw Han releasing Rey from a hug that she seemed to have endured rather than enjoyed. After Finn hugged her too she waved at him while smiling and Ben felt his insides warming up, smiling back at her. Leia spoke to Rey for a moment and Ben used that time to look at Rey. She was in a long blue floral dress with a band round her hair he recognized from one of the more famous pictures of her and he wondered if she knew that that picture had been used. A wave of nausea rose in him as he remembered his dream about her, the mere fact that he had dreamt of her at all making him want to vomit. 

This was only made worse when somehow Ben ended up seated next to Rey at dinner, forced to think about how much of a creep he was whilst trying not to brush his leg against hers. He was grateful for the fact that Chewie was on her other side and she leaned closer to him and away from Ben.

It didn’t escape his notice that the wine glass he had put in Rey’s place had been take away by someone and it rankled him slightly. There was something infantilizing about taking the glass away and not letting her drink, especially when everyone else did.

“I made pasta with a tomato sauce. And there’s cheese to put on it and other things to add if you’d like.” Leia said as she came in from the kitchen, carrying the bowl of food. 

While everyone helped themselves and started talking Ben stayed mostly quiet. Nobody was saying anything particularly interesting for him to find it in himself to care and he found watching Rey eat far more interesting. Exactly like some kind of creep would. He couldn’t imagine how hungry she must’ve been to end up that thin and couldn’t understand why she wasn’t now eating whatever she could.

No one directly spoke to Ben as the meal went on and he was glad of it. There was very little he had to say. As he listened to the conversation around him Ben noticed how despite the time he had been spending with his family there was plenty he didn’t know about them. Finn was apparently going to start taking classes with the Open University to work towards being a social worker.

“What about you Rey? Got any plans?” Leia asked brightly, the first time anyone had spoken about Rey.

She looked up from her intense study of her food with wide and confused eyes. 

“Plans for what?” 

“School. Now that you can. The college offers evening classes or I’m sure you could find a tutor to help you. To at least get the compulsory GCSEs. In time you could even work on getting an A Level or two.” Leia explained. 

Rey stared at Leia, blinking rapidly for a few moments before looking back down.

“I, I haven’t really thought about it.” She said quietly, mostly talking to her plate. “I don’t know what I would study or anything.” 

“You don’t have to do anything. Not unless you’re sure you want to.” Ben almost didn’t realise that he had spoken, it felt so automatic.

Rey looked back up and stared at him, sending him back to their conversation by the fields. When he catches sight of Chewie glaring at him over her head he desperately wants to be back there, talking to her alone where her father cannot kill him.

“What do you like to do Rey?” Han speaks up, breaking the tension across the table. Leia’s question about school appeared to have broken the unspoken taboo about asking Rey about herself. Ben shifted his attention back to his food, not looking at Rey but wanting to hear what she said nonetheless.

She didn’t speak however, not for a very long time.

“I like crafts. And card games.”

“I didn’t know you knew any cards games,” Maz said, all the necklaces she was wearing jingling slightly, “why don’t you teach us some later? We could all play something.”

Rey stiffened in her seat slightly and tightened her grip on her fork. 

“I, I don’t really know many games. Only ones for two people.”

Ben felt like cold ice had been dumped on him, on everyone at the table. For a long while no one spoke, they all ate in silence as they struggled to think of a way to move past that. Rey didn’t seem affected by the atmosphere, her mind was clearly elsewhere.

The family never quite recovered from Rey’s comment despite everyone’s best efforts. Well, everyone except Ben. Ben wasn’t quite sure you could classify his contributions to the conversation as an effort let alone his best. 

Somewhere during a discussion that mainly involved Maz, Han and Poe about the differences between netball and basketball Rey muttered something to Chewie, just as she had done the last time they had all been together. And just as before Chewie leapt up, cutting Han off.

“Leia, this was really great, but me and Rey are gonna head home now.” He raised his eyebrows at Maz who nodded and got up to join them. 

As Han and Leia were thanking them for coming and helping them out to the front door Rey hung back for a moment. For a minute or two it was the four of them and Ben took a moment to imagine a world where Rey hadn’t been kidnapped and he hadn’t cut his family off. They probably would’ve been a tightly knit group of friends.   
Finn hugged Rey goodbye and she seemed far more at ease with him than his parents but Ben made no move to touch her. Not when he had no idea how much she liked him.

When everyone else moved to the door and say goodbye Ben decided that for him at lest dinner was over. Grabbing what was left of his dinner and Rey’s mostly untouched plate he went down into his basement to eat pasta and maybe watch that show about zoos that Finn wouldn’t shut up about.

-

Chewie was sure he had never exercised this much self-restraint before. Every bone in his body wanted him to march back to next door and rip Ben’s head from his body. That fucking prick had the nerve to talk to Rey, to give her advice and comfort like he fucking knew her. 

He was really hoping his anger wouldn’t be too obvious to Rey but when Maz went to get herself a drink and he was left alone with her he knew it was no good. It was rolling off him and into the room, changing the atmosphere and putting her on edge.

“Dad?” Rey asked hesitantly, taking a small step towards him but clearly keeping her distance.

“Fucking prick.” Chewie muttered to himself having half forgotten about Rey’s presence.

“Who is?”

“Ben.”

Rey frowned at him slightly but before she could ask more questions or he could elaborate Maz spoke up from the doorway.

“Your father and Ben don’t get along. Not anymore.”

Chewie just shook his head at Maz’s wording and the way she had toned the situation down and sat on the sofa. It wasn’t even nine yet but he felt exhausted.

“Why not?” Rey asked hesitantly.

“They had a fight a while ago. About you.” Maz explained gently whilst ignoring the way Chewie scoffed at her. She was telling it all wrong. Rey seemed confused at her simple statement however and spoke before he could add in his opinion on the matter.

“What do you mean, about me? I haven’t been here.”

“Yeah exactly. You were gone but that prick still stood in our fucking kitchen and told us you were dead and better off for it.” 

Chewie knew there was too much bitterness in his voice, that the harsh tone might frighten Rey but he couldn’t help himself. He so desperately needed to tell her, to get her to understand why he hated Ben talking to her like he had. She need to know that this wasn’t her father being cruel to someone and that he anything he did was justified. And that Ben was bad news.

Rey didn’t react to his words straight away, instead looking at her wrist and touching it lightly. Eventually she looked at him with a small smile and tears in her eyes.

“You really didn’t think I was dead?”

Her softly spoken words ripped Chewie’s heart from his chest. He had expected anger or hurt at the idea of someone thinking she had been dead but instead he was forced to face the idea that maybe she had believed they would think that about her too. Moving to take her hand he spoke in what he hoped was a serious tone to truly convince her of their conviction.

“Not once. No matter what happened or how long you were gone we never once thought that.”

They’ve said it to her many times before and Chewie fully expects that he will say it to her again but that doesn’t make it any less important in this moment. Rey stared at him and then at Maz with gratitude and disbelief written all over her face before letting go of his hand and going upstairs, her footsteps slower than normal.

Maz sat down beside him and took the hand that Rey had just let go of, kissing his knuckles gently. The reprimand for his anger that he expected never came as she instead turned to watch Rey walk up the stairs and away from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Finn and Rey buy some sweets
> 
> this was a scene i had in my head from the start and tho it isnt quite there i hope u still like it  
> i feel like im repeating information and dwelling too much on how Rey looks but thats the problem with multiple povs each character is discovering the same things.   
> see u next time- hopefully sooner than this took!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey get to bond

It was still strange to Finn that after all these years he could just pick up his phone and text Rey, just make plans with her and then be able to see her. When Leia asked him to run to the shops for a couple of things and he texted Rey to see if she wanted to come with him he felt like he was pretending. Sending a message to some random number and imagining that it was her on the other end. His heart jumped out of his chest at seeing her sitting on the wall between their houses like she often had done when waiting for him in the mornings before school however. 

They wandered down the path together chatting away. Conversation with Rey was slow and she would often take long moments to reply to him but the conversation never stopped entirely. It felt like a muted, subdued version of how they used to talk. As they walked together Finn couldn’t help glancing around at the people they passed. Most people who had lived here during their childhood were still around and despite how long she had been gone for Rey was still recognizable. He couldn’t fight down the little bit of worry he felt at the idea that someone would see Rey and let it slip that she was alive. He wasn’t sure that any of them had it in them to face the media all over again. He was definitely sure Rey wouldn’t be able to handle that

Walking around the shop with Rey slightly too close behind him gave Finn a strong sense of Deja-vu, like they were buying sweets together after school.

With a full basket of the things Leia had wanted Finn finally gave into himself and walked down the snack aisle, turning to face Rey whose expression mirrored his perfectly. 

Wordlessly they grabbed sweets from the shelves, the ones they had always bought before. Haribos, love hearts and drumsticks all piled on top of the sensible adult food in the basket. 

“Fancy coming back to mine and eating all of these? I’ll be sick if I eat them alone.” Finn asked, giving Rey a slightly cheesy smile.

“Back at yours? My mum will go mad if she sees all this.”

“Sure. I’ll show you Poe’s hideous interior design attempts.” 

The cashier wasn’t anyone Finn recognised and he was grateful for it. Most of the people they had gone to school are back from uni for the summer and some probably work here.

Finn carried all the bags home himself despite Rey’s offers to help. She teased him about how she had thought chivalry was dead and how he was a gentleman. He took he teasing and didn’t admit that it was less out of chivalry and more out of a genuine concern that she wouldn’t be strong enough to carry even one bag, not with those thin arms that he knew he could wrap his whole hand around.

Ben was sitting in the kitchen when they got back in, doing something on his laptop and Finn took this to mean that everyone else was out. There was no way Ben would emerge otherwise. Rey hung around by the door frame slightly awkwardly, smiling at Ben while Finn put the food away before waving at him and following Finn upstairs. 

He flopped down onto his and Poe’s bed and dumped out all the sweets while Rey sat down more gingerly, looking round the room with wide eyes.

“I swear I had nothing to do with how awful it is. Poe picked the wallpaper not me. And everything else.” He said in an attempt to defend himself.

“It’s not that bad. Just a bit, cold looking.”

Rey lay down next to him and began to join him in picking through all the sweets as Finn looked around the room. She was definitely just being polite. The room was all dark blue and grey and white and not nearly cozy enough for his taste but hey, it made Poe happy.

“We used to argue over these, if one of us found a good one.” Rey said, opening up a packet of love hearts and reading their messages. “You’d want yours for Rose Tico.”

Finn snorted and took the sweet she offered for him, looking at it. 

“Rose Tico, huh. I could really pick them, couldn’t I?”

“Do you still talk to her?” Rey asked, not looking up from her pile of sweets, the love heart packet nearly empty as she sorted them by colour.

“Yeah, she’s one of my closest friends.”

“She was the last person I knew you liked. And then I come back and you’re engaged.”

Finn looked down at the pile in front of them and thought for a moment.

“Sorry about that. It must’ve been weird for you.”

They were quiet for a long while as they ate. 

“Did you have a lot of boyfriends?” Rey didn’t look up as she sorted out her sweets into a pattern on the duvet. 

“No. Just Poe.”

She did look up at him at hearing this, frowning slightly.

“So, so he was your first?”

“And only,” he looked away from Rey to the foot of the bed frame, all white wood that needed a bit of a dust, “not that I’m complaining,” he added, chuckling to himself slightly.

Rey didn’t laugh, instead her frown grew deeper as she rearranged things into a new pattern. 

“You mean, you like it?” 

Finn couldn’t quite decipher her expression. She seemed confused and sad, maybe a bit angry and Finn felt the urge to apologise.

“I mean, yeah I do. Like it. Sorry.”

Rey looked up at him for a moment before popping several sweets into her mouth and opening another packet. Neither of them spoke, instead eating quietly as Finn considered whether or not to start a new conversation. It was hard to know sometimes whether Rey was simply taking a long time to think of a reply or whether she had finished talking.

As he was still considering this however Rey spoke up, her voice slightly muffled by the lollipop in her mouth.

“Who else are you friends with?” 

“Do you remember Kaydel? She was in the year below us? Blonde and nerdy.” Finn said.

“Yeah I think so. How did you make friends with her?”

Finn paused for a moment, unsure of himself and how to word things.

“After everything happened Rose and me started to hang out in the library and Kaydel was always in there too. So we just kind of got to know each other.”

Rey laughed quietly before biting her lollipop.

“I don’t think I ever went inside that library once.”

“Yeah, you were never really one for reading.” 

When Rey didn’t reply to him Finn decided to keep talking and telling her about his friends.

“Kaydel goes to the uni here and she started dating this guy called Snap a couple months ago. So now we’re friends with him too. He’s a bit older than us but he’s really close to Poe.”

“Is he really called Snap?”

“I think it’s just a nickname but I don’t know what his real name is. Everyone calls him Snap.”

Rey pulled the clean stick out of her mouth and opened a packet of Haribos, digging around in it before pulling out several of the fried eggs and handing them to him. The gesture made Finn smile; she knew that they were his favorites. 

They stayed in his room, eating sweets and chatting until they had run out of sweets and Rey wasn’t responding to his comments anymore. Finn felt like he was going to throw up from how much he had eaten but he was willing to accept that given how much of a good time he had had. He knew he was being a shit host when Rey had to see herself out and took the rubbish with her but she understood that if Finn moved he would probably vomit everywhere. 

As he lay on his bed Finn contemplated the pros and cons of Rey meeting his friends. On one hand it was probably way too soon and would really overwhelm her. On the other hand him and Poe wanted to get married as soon as possible and Rey would be a bridesmaid alongside Rose and Kaydel and would therefore have to go dress shopping with them. Maybe he’d ask her about it a bit later.

-

Ben nearly had a heart attack at the sound of the kitchen bin being opened. He had been falling asleep at the table as he looked through possible jobs and it was only through a lot of willpower that he managed to avoid jumping straight into the air. 

Looking up he saw Rey closing the bin with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you jump.” She said quietly, moving away from him a tiny bit.

“S’ok,” Ben said, trying to lower his voice slightly. She looked ready to run away from him, “the noise just woke me up is all.”

Rey stood there staring at him for a moment long, fiddling with the strap on her bag when Ben realised she was alone.

“Finn just leaving you to clean up and go home?” Even though Rey literally lived next door Ben couldn’t help but feel angry at his brother. Sure it was pompous and unnecessary for him to get angry about this but still. It just wasn’t the done thing to make your guest see themselves out.

“Uh, yeah. He ate so much that he felt sick.”

Ben snorted at this. 

“Sounds like Finn.”

They stared at each other in uncomfortable silence until Rey gestured to the door, turning her body but still looking at him.

“I’m gonna, go home.”

She was out of the kitchen and halfway down the hallway when Ben spoke up, half in a daze, not considering his words for a moment before speaking.

“Are you free at all tomorrow?”

Rey stopped walking and turned around to look at him, standing much closer than he had expected, not realising he had walked over to her while talking. She didn’t answer him straight away, fiddling with her bag strap a bit and Ben could see her thinking through what he had offered. Despite the overwhelming urge to backtrack and take his offer back Ben didn’t talk, desperately wanting her to say yes. Not that he really knew what he had in mind.

“I mean, the police are coming in the morning. But I’m not really doing much besides that,” Rey was quiet for a moment, staring right into his head, “why?”

“I just, wondered if you wanted to go on a walk again. You don’t have to I just thought that it might be nice. Sorry.” He tailed off with no idea what he was really saying. God this was stupid. 

There was a long silence and Ben grew more and more worried with every second that passed. He had overstepped, crossed a boundary and now their relationship wouldn’t work because he couldn’t shut up.

“I don’t know. Can you ask me again tomorrow?”

Whatever answer Ben thought he would get this wasn’t it. But it wasn’t a straight out rejection.

“Of course.” This time Ben did think before he spoke, considering the implications of his words and the way they might come across. “Could I have your number? To ask you again later?”

Ben desperately wanted to justify why he was asking her this, why he wanted to spend time with her but he really couldn’t. He didn’t know why.

To his surprise Rey reached into her bag and fished out her phone, quickly grabbing his own from his back pocket. Ben put her number into his phone, his own lack of contacts rivalled only by hers. Still, he added his last name to the contact he made in her phone, unsure of where they stood or how close they were.

Rey smiled at him with a hint of dimples before turning around and heading out, leaving Ben alone listening to the distant sound of Finn throwing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Ben texts Rey
> 
> this is a v short chapter but i hope thats ok!  
> i fully say rose tico rights and she will appear one day


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey walk in the sun once again.

When Rey had asked him to text him later Ben had instantly agreed, willing to do whatever she needed and wanting to make her feel comfortable about his spur of the moment decision to ask her to spend time with him. The more Ben thought about that however the more he regretted it. 

How much later was later? Did she mean this morning or after lunch or in the evening? He assumed she had meant after the police had come by but beyond that he really had no idea.

Ben felt like a teenager again as he agonized over how to text a girl and ask her to spend time with him. It wasn’t anything romantic or sexual, he simply wanted to be around her. Ben couldn’t really explain it to himself, the way he wanted to be with Rey and enjoy her quiet company. Maybe it was because she didn’t really talk and left him to think his own thoughts. Maybe it was because she was pretty.

He tried to keep occupied all morning with a proper workout and by cooking himself a real breakfast, eavesdropping on Finn and Poe’s wedding discussions. In Ben’s mind they needed to stop thinking about things like colour themes and stag nights and instead work out budgets and guest lists but then again he didn’t know anything about getting married. As their conversation moved onto getting their little car checked out Ben felt his thoughts wondering to the car he had abandoned in some underground car park somewhere for months. It had probably been stolen by now but he might go check soon anyway.

Ultimately Ben didn’t have much patience and ended up texting Rey by 11 o’clock. Writing the message itself had cause him even more grief and it took him several minutes of writing and rewriting to end up with a single sentence asking Rey if she was still on board and what time was good for her. 

Her almost immediate response calmed him down slightly and by the time they had agreed to meet at that bench by three Ben was back to feeling like an adult making plans with another adult. Old friends catching up after not seeing each other for a while. Family friends who grew up together and simply spent more time apart than most people did. 

-

“Is this still necessary?” Chewie growled as soon as he let Jyn and Cassian into the house. Once, when she was a child, Jyn might’ve cowered under the glare of a large, imposing and angry man, but not now. 

“Yes. We need to know everything that has happened in the past seven years to catch this man and Rey is our main source of information at the moment.”

Jyn winced at her wording and the way she had referred to Rey but it was the truth. They really did need to keep talking to her, at least until they had more leads somewhere else. Chewie didn’t say anything, just nodded his head towards the study where they had their equipment set up and walked away. They had been here enough times to know that Rey would be down in a moment and that they should see themselves into the study.

As they got settled onto the sofa, turning on cameras and tape recorders Jyn felt Cassian’s eyes on her. Looking up at him she saw him looking over the stack of pictures he had in his hands.

“What?” She asked, irritated by his staring.

“Nothing.” Cassian said and shrugged, placing his pictures on the table face down.

The sound of the door opening stopped their discussion as Rey slipped into the room. It had taken a lot of reassurance from both Jyn and Cassian but she no longer knocked and waited outside a room in her own house. They shared pleasantries but Jyn could feel Cassian itching to begin the interview, determined to get down to business and hopefully, finally get that breakthrough they needed.

“Interview commencing at 9:44 am, present in the room Detective Sergeant Jyn Erso, Detective Inspector Cassian Andor, Rey Kanata.” Jyn said after she turned on the tape.

“We want to ask you some more questions about the house where you were kept and your escape from it.” Cassian began as he nervously shifted his pictures around. “We know you said that you never left the house or saw much of the interior but we still have a couple things we want to ask.”

Rey nodded and twisted her hands in her lap.

“You went up to a man on a suburban street and asked him to call the police around ten minutes after you escaped the house. These are pictures of the streets surrounding that area. Do you recognise any of them?”

Cassian spread the pictures out on the table as Rey leaned forward to look at them better. Neither of the detectives spoke as Rey looked over all of the pictures Cassian had printed off from Google Earth, carefully moving each one aside as she finished looking at it.

Eventually she shuffled a few towards them and Jyn instantly recognized one as the street Rey had been found on.

“I remember these. But I don’t know which house it was.”

Cassian immediately took the pictures Rey gestured to while Jyn swept the other ones away and took out a paper map of the area around where Rey had been found.

“That’s really great Rey. All of these streets are connected.” Cassian spoke while highlighting the streets Rey had picked out on the map. At seeing that they made a rough line Jyn felt her hopes begin to rise. “That’s the street where you spoke to someone, the streets you ran through and so that must be where you started.”

Rey nodded as her eyes followed Cassian’s finger across the map. She frowned slightly when he got to the last street.

“But, how will you find the house. I didn’t look back.”

Jyn smiled at Rey while Cassian pulled up that street on Google Earth to get a second look.

“It’s a short street with detached houses. Each house is different and we can use what you were able to tell us about it to identify it. There’s only a handful of houses it can be.” She explained.

It only took them a moment to identify which house it was. Rey had told them how there had been a tall fence with a gate around it and there was only one place with a fence like that. 

Jyn felt herself become nauseous as she looked at it but there was nothing special about it, nothing that told you it was the scene of horrific and targeted abuse, that it was part of one of the most famous missing persons cases in the country. Just a big, fancy house. The kind you walked past and imagined yourself living in even though you knew you would never make enough money to own it.

She looked up from the picture of the house and nodded once at Cassian who immediately began to gather up their pictures and end the recordings, ready to call in a forensics team and head over there. The sight of Rey stopped her however. She hadn’t moved from her chair despite Jyn and Cassian’s movements and her eyes looked glassy and unfocused.

“Rey, are you ok?” Jyn asked tentatively.

“Will I,” Rey paused to take a deep breath and looked up at Jyn, “will I have to go there?”

It was Cassian who spoke first.

“No. If it’s not the right place then we drop it, if it is we turn it into a crime scene and comb every inch of it. Either way you don’t have to be there.”

Rey nodded at herself a couple of times before getting up too and following them out of the room.

“We’ll call if comes up.” Jyn said as they were leaving, Cassian already out the door and throwing things into the car.

As Jyn slid into the drivers seat he was on the phone requesting teams to come out to the address, talking frantically. When he hung up they looked at each other for a moment, unprofessional excitement clear on their faces.

“Straight there?” 

“Of course.”

-

As Ben approached the bench they had agreed to meet at he was surprised to see that Rey was already there, sitting in a blue skirt and blouse and staring into the distance. He stopped a few steps away from her and spoke up quietly like he had before, loathe to scare her.

“Hey.”

Rey turned away from the view and looked at him for a long moment before smiling, her eyes seeming to look straight through him.

“Hey.”

Ben sat down next to her as she moved over and frowned at the sound of her voice, it’s usual softness replaced by something sadder.

“You ok?” He asked, embarrassed at his tactless wording. She didn’t seem bothered by it however and just shrugged slightly.

“Just thinking.”

They didn’t speak for a long time, content to sit in the sun. As Ben was counting the cracks in the track that the dry, hot weather had caused Rey surprised him by speaking up.

“Why do you still live with your parents? Did you not want to move away?”

He wasn’t sure if that was Rey had been thinking about when he had arrived but Ben didn’t really want to find out. It surprised him for a moment that she thought he had been living there all this time until he reminded himself that there was no way that she could have found out. 

“I did move away, had a fancy penthouse apartment and everything. I was a lawyer in the city for years until I had to leave. I just dropped everything one day and came back here, begging my parents to let me stay for a while.” Ben said, hoping that she wouldn’t ask why he had had to leave.

“Did you lose your house?”

At this Ben chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck and drawing Rey’s attention away from the trees.

“Uh, no. It’s still there with most of my stuff. I just left it all there when I left.”

Her eyes were wide as she looked at him but Ben couldn’t decipher the emotions in them. There was disbelief and amusement alongside the heartbreak.

“Have you gone back at all?”

“Not yet. I don’t really want to.”

The comfortable silence between them came back as they sat there, the afternoon sun making Ben restless. 

“Do you want to go on a walk?” He said suddenly, getting to his feet.

Rey nodded and got up, walking alongside him as he headed down the track. Ben tried to think of things that were new around here he could show her, remembering how she had reacted to seeing the little lake. 

“Ben?”

Her voice startled him and he realised how long they had been walking in silence together. Rey had drifted closer to him, no longer keeping such a distance between them. He could hold her hand easily if he wanted to. 

“Yeah?” He said, shortening his footsteps somewhat as they made eye contact. 

“Thank you. For wanting to hang out with me.”

Ben wasn’t quite sure what to say. It had been his idea after all; he had invited her and she had agreed to it. Although he still wasn’t sure why she had wanted to and he really didn’t know why she was grateful to him.

“Why did you say yes? To spending time with me?”

As much as he wanted to know why Rey had agreed to this Ben regretted asking her a bit. He wasn’t quite sure what he would do if she said it had just been out of pity or because she had nothing better to do. The long time it took for Rey to reply only made him more stressed.

“I don’t know. Because you’re nice. Because I’m lonely.” She said quietly, now looking at her careful footsteps and not him.

Ben was left reeling by her answer somewhat. He wasn’t quite sure anyone had ever called him nice before and he was more shocked at the idea of Rey being lonely. Surely after being alone for seven years living with Maz and Chewie again and talking to Finn would make her less lonely. Plus Ben couldn’t imagine that her parents ever left her alone. 

“Do Chewie and Maz leave you alone?”

He had expected another long wait before Rey spoke again but her response was almost immediate, it was almost the normal pace that conversations happened at.

“Not really but I’m still lonely. I used to have someone and now I don’t. I can’t get used to it.” 

The casual tone to her voice cut right through Ben. He didn’t know what to say or how to reference what she had said. To say so simply that she was lonely now she was away from her captor as if he wasn’t an abuser who had abducted her. 

It felt callous to make the conversation about him but Ben couldn’t stand hearing about this, about the man who had treated her in such a way that left her looking like that.

“Do you like being with me?”

“Yes. You ask me questions and let me talk. But you don’t bother me.” Rey smiled at her feet as she spoke and nodded her head.

Ben smiled to himself too, glad to have been able to give her something, to have made her feel better. He recognised her loneliness and was able to admit to himself that being with her had made him feel lighter.

They walked down the track until the reached the edge of the fields and Ben took her down a side street, one that was still quite new and that would eventually reach the new university buildings that didn’t exist yet. Rey stared all around them as they walked and Ben noticed the way there was more colour in her skin, slowly becoming a less alarming colour and something more normal. By the time they were back at the top of their street and heading home Rey was walking more slowly, clearly tired.

Ben could kick himself for taking her so far and making her tired but she didn’t complain. Just smiled at him and thanked him before letting herself back into her house with the spare key Maz kept hidden under a flowerpot. There had been a time when Maz had removed the key and people had to knock to get in but she must’ve put it back. Ben wondered if Rey had been told that the key was still there or if she had simply assumed it always would be. He hoped that no one had told her and that she thought that life would still be the same here but he still worried that it wasn’t the case.

He was grateful that she hadn’t had to knock however. Chewie would never let Rey spend time with him no matter how old she was and Ben knew she wouldn’t want to if she found out what he had said. It was for the best she didn’t find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Jyn and Cassian investigate their new lead.
> 
> hope u enjoyed this!  
> i know the story is currently progressing on a day by day structure but eventually we will get some time jumps and things will progress a lil bit quicker  
> next chapter will b thlast we see of jyn and cassian for a bit- im so sorry if ur here for that side of things a bit more but its the way it must be


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Jyn arrive at the house.

They were the first to arrive at the house and had to wait outside. Even though it was the right thing to do it still irritated Cassian, who wanted nothing more than to kick the door down and burst into the house himself, despite the fact that the kidnapper won’t be there anymore. That knowledge did nothing to assuage his irritation however. He just really wanted to get inside.

Jyn parked the car directly across the street, blocking off traffic and got out to walk up to the house. Cassian hung back for a moment as he looked up and down the street. A safe little neighbourhood. No chance of home CCTV.

“It’s all shut up.” Jyn said as he walked up to join her, both of them staring at the house from the road.

Curtains over windows, lights off and a shut gate all set Cassian on edge. It had taken them so long to find this place that he knew the kidnapper would be long gone and would’ve tried to clean it up as much as possible. 

“Do we know who owns it yet?” He asked.

“Not yet. Bodhi’s on it and will let us know.”

Cassian nodded even as his chest tightened slightly. He wasn’t above being petty and the easy camaraderie between Jyn and her intern definitely made him a little bit jealous. 

The sound of a car horn snapped him out of it however, Jyn moving faster than him to talk to the driver stuck behind their car. He hung back as she spoke through the window and showed her badge before directing the driver a different way. Distant but approaching sirens backing her up as others arrived. 

“I hate these things.” Cassian grumbled as he pulled on his paper suit while Jyn tied her hair back. “They’re too hot and itchy.”

“Do you want to get your DNA everywhere and be arrested for kidnapping?” Jyn shot back, her voice full of steely resolve. 

Before Cassian could say anything an almighty crash interrupted them, accompanied by the gasps of the people who been driven out of their houses by curiosity and were watching behind the tape and cars.

Cassian glanced at Jyn and they made eye contact for the briefest of moments before they walked forward as they listened to the shouts of the armed police entering the house. He had once been a part of that team and for a moment he would’ve given anything to experience that rush of adrenaline again. 

His eyes widened as they walked into the house, old habits making Cassian walk ahead and in front of Jyn. The wealth of this man was visible throughout the building. Tastefully renovated but in the original style the care put into it didn’t sit right with him. Neither did the décor. It occurred to him that Rey had never described what the interior looked like and he had imagined some kind of lonely, clinical bachelor pad. Not something so homely, so warm. 

It would be a nice place to raise a family Cassian thought, his eyes sliding to Jyn for a brief moment.

“I’m going upstairs, you do down here. The entry team are looking for Rey’s basement.”

Cassian nodded and watched her go upstairs with some of the forensics team. They all knew what they were primarily looking for at the moment. Eventually the whole place would be analysed but for now they needed pictures, documents and DNA. Anything to tell them what this man’s name was because Cassian really doubted it was Mark. It was too much of a nondescript name. 

He moved around cautiously, not touching anything and felt his heart sink. There were empty spots above the fireplace where pictures had been removed and the whole place was incredibly clean and tidy. The parts of him that had doubted Rey’s reliability were comforted however. Although she had missed areas and clearly hadn’t been into every room she had accurately described and drawn the layout for them.

The glint of something shiny caught his eye from underneath an armchair and he approached it. Noticing that it was a single pearl earring Cassian called an officer over and watched it get bagged up. Jewelry always carried DNA.

Time moved away from his as he explored the ground floor. The armed police were knocking about in the garage and Jyn remained upstairs as the every inch of the house was photographed and items were slowly removed. Nothing with a name yet despite their efforts.

“Detective?” One of the officers called Cassian from the kitchen and he followed them in. On the counter was a small, sharp steak knife in a bag. 

“It has traces of blood. We’re gonna run it as a priority. It could be a usual kitchen injury or something else.”

“Sick fuck.” Cassian muttered looking at the tiny red mark in one of the grooves.

“Sick, clever fuck.” Jyn corrected as she appeared behind him. “We found a whole home office with nothing but empty drawers and cabinets. Not a single bill, bank statement or any paper work at all. No landline phone either. Pictures all gone from the walls as well as a bunch of clothes.”

“We gave him a head start and he used it well.” Cassian said sullenly. All their excitement at having found the house long gone. 

“Detectives?”

Another voice took them upstairs and into what was clearly a master bedroom. The wardrobe doors were open and Cassian could see a collection of women’s clothes hanging towards the back. 

“Rey’s size,” Jyn said as she looked at them individually, “give or take an inch.” She moved the hangers across and revealed a school uniform, smaller than some of the other clothes, hanging beside them.

They both stared at it for a moment. A white shirt, black pleated skirt and blazer neatly arranged on one hanger, the blue logo of Parkside Secondary School on both the shirt and jacket. Jyn rubbed the collar of the shirt between her fingers and frowned.

“It’s starched. He’s taken care of this.”

Jyn looked back at him and they shared a loaded glance. The sound of fast footsteps and hurried breathing drew their eyes towards the bedroom as a paper suited officer appeared.

“You’d better come and see this.”

Cassian felt himself grow cold as they entered the garage to see a chunk of floor had been lifted up to reveal a dark hole. He would never have been able to see which section it was had it not been taken up and the foam padding on the trap door made him almost shiver.

“There’s a ladder down into it. But we can’t find the light switch.” One of the armed police explained, voice muffled through his mask, and handed Cassian a torch. Right. He was in charge of this investigation. He’d have to go first.

He had expected to be standing on some kind of hard floor but the plastic covers on Cassian’s shoes hit some kind of fluffy rug instead. Swinging his torch around the room he was only able to make out the size of it and some of the furniture. Just as Jyn climbed down behind there was a faint noise above them and a bright light turned on, illuminating every part of the basement. 

It was clear to see throughout every inch of this room that a life had been lived there. Rey was everywhere. There were embroidery hoops with beautiful, detailed designs hanging on the wall alongside drawing and illustrations cut out from books. Shelves covered in books and CDs and crocheted dolls. A large wardrobe and a chest of drawers, both covered in painted flowers. A perfectly made bed with three larger dolls sitting against the pillows. 

A little collection of jewelry on the chest of drawers caught his attention. Moving closer Cassian carefully poked through a few rings and the odd necklace to see a small black box. Opening it he saw another pearl earring.

“It’s like a whole apartment.” Jyn said as she walked around.

Cassian turned to survey the rest and quickly understood her. A kitchen had been set up in a corner and there behind a curtain he could see a toilet and shower. He fought to keep some kind of control and professionalism and not react to what he saw but the sight of small dining table with only one chair set something off inside him.

“Fucking bastard. How could someone do this to that girl?” He said through his teeth, choosing to stare at the pile of puzzle books instead of Jyn. She didn’t answer however and he eventually made his way across the room and to her side by the bed.

“Look at them.”

She was staring at the three dolls on the bed. One was a large Moomin, the size of Cassian’s forearm, a bit misshapen and mangled. Clearly a beginners attempt. The other two were perfect little people and he could feel the hours of work that had been put into them. 

One was smaller than the other, a woman with darker skin and big glasses, one was a larger man with a massive beard and long hair.

“Do you think she’ll want them back? We won’t need them for long.” Jyn asked, her eyes still stuck to the small versions of Rey’s parents. 

“We won’t know if we don’t ask.” Cassian replied before making his way back up to the ladder.

Although the place hadn’t been stripped like Cassian feared it might’ve there was still nothing down there to tell them anything for the kidnapper. All him and Jyn could do was let the forensic team and the photographers down to begin documenting it. 

Jyn followed him out of the front door in silence and stripped off her protective gear alongside him. He began to pace in the middle of the road, ignoring the comings and goings of cars and officers around him. Eventually he stopped and turned to Jyn who was simply staring up the street where Rey had run. She was the one who broke the silence.

“Did you see a clock down there?”

Cassian had to pause for a moment before answering.

“No.”

“That’s why she couldn’t say when she had managed to escape. So all we know is that by around half past eight she’s asking someone to call the police. Either her kidnapper wakes up, finds her gone and panics or he comes back from somewhere, finds her gone and panics.” She surmised.

“He doesn’t panic.” Cassian corrected. “He’s taken everything useful to us. It doesn’t matter if we have Rey’s school uniform or her puzzle books if we don’t know his full name.” 

Cassian stared at Jyn for a long while, watching the cogs in her brain turn and noticing how her eye makeup had run slightly. Frowning he pulled out his phone from his pocket and checked the time.

“Look, it's late and we aren’t needed here. Every part of that place is being looked through. We’ll check every book he owns and every piece of cutlery. We should head back to the station to see Imwe. See if your intern found anything.”

Neither of them moved thought, unwilling to leave their biggest lead. As they eventually slid back into the car Cassian found his mind wandering. It was strange how such a big breakthrough could make solving something seem even less likely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Finn and Poe wedding plan
> 
> im sorry if ur not so into the police stuff but it had to happen  
> we wont see jyn and cassian for a while but when they come back itll be worth it  
> i swear itll cheer up one day


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finds something he left behind

“What about in a church? Leia would probably like that.”

“I was thinking outside maybe. On a beach or in a field. It will be in the summer after all.”

Poe didn’t look very enthused at Finn’s suggestion of getting married in a field but Finn quite fancied it. It wouldn’t be a muddy that was one full of cows, they would decorate it and be married under the sun, maybe let some fireworks off in the evening. Although he did like the though of getting married on the beach more.

“How many people is it gonna be?” Finn asked as Poe counted down their almost complete guest list.

“Seventy. If everyone can come.” “It’s almost a year away they should be able to make it. Should we do save the dates?”

Before Poe could reply the door from the basement opened up and Ben walked into the room, dressed to head out somewhere. He looked surprised to see them there for a moment but his face quickly became neutral again. Ben didn’t linger in the kitchen, just dug out some house keys and nodded to them as he left the room and Finn distantly heard the sound of the front door opening and shutting.

“Should we invite Ben to our stag night?”

“It’s not really a stag night, is it?. It’s us going to some clubs with the same group of friends.”

Finn knew this was undeniably true. Having the same group of friends meant that they couldn’t really do separate things because they were sharing the same bridesmaids and groomsmen.

“Still. There’s only five of us, he could always come.”

Poe scoffed and Finn felt a little bit hurt. He knew that Poe really disliked Ben and although it was their shared night he was still Finn’s brother and it felt a little bit wrong to just completely write him off. Most of Finn didn’t want to have this fight however, it had been difficult enough to get Poe to agree to actually inviting Ben at all. Unwilling to have a fight now Finn looked at their guest list, trying to work out who would have to travel far to get there when Poe suddenly spoke up

“Do you think Rey would come out with us?” He said staring at Finn.

Finn didn’t reply. He desperately wanted Rey to be with them, to celebrate their wedding like that but he had no idea if she would want to. Sweaty clubs full of drunk adults followed by cheap junk food and eventually crashing in some random hotel didn’t exactly sound like something you did with a long-term trauma victim. He sat back in his chair and met Poe’s eyes.

“I mean, the weddings like a year away. So it won’t be months until the stag night. She might even enjoy it?”Finn said, knowing that it was a bit of a non-answer.

They sat in silence for a while, each with their own thoughts and Finn felt his mind wonder slightly as he thought about life if Rey hadn’t been taken. There would definitely not be any discussion about whether she would want to come with them. But then again he might not even be friends with her anymore, plenty of people grow apart. It was pretty impressive that Rose and Kaydel were still his friends after all this time.

Eventually they started talking again, pulling up a calendar to try and find a rough date so that they could send out their save they dates as soon as they had decided on times and venues and designs and finalized their guest list. Finn started to wonder why people ever got married at all, especially given that neither of them would be wearing a fancy wedding dress.

-

Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had been on a bus. It was probably about fifteen years ago before he became rich and a dick. But here he was now, on the fact of a bus like a badly behaved kid heading into the city to get his car from his old apartment building. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wanted it now when he had been fine leaving it in the underground car park ever since he came home but he really did want it back. Apart from a few odd items in his penthouse the car was the only thing he had really enjoyed about his lifestyle and that he had genuinely cared about. Besides, he was sick of not being able to go anywhere.

As he watched the world pass from the bus Ben thought about his apartment. Cold and fancy he had never spent much time there, having to stay late every night long after his boss and the other employees left and often working across the weekend too. In some ways staying at his parents was much nicer.

Looking up at his old building Ben considered for a moment going inside and seeing his apartment. After all, he was still paying the rent for it. He didn’t however, he knew there were a few too many memories of sleepless nights and angry outbursts roaming around the place. Instead he headed straight for the lift and into the underground parking before making a beeline for the dark corner he had left his car that day and praying no one had stolen it. At seeing that it was both filthy but otherwise untouched Ben let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding and fished around for his car key in his pocket.

The quiet, steady hum of his car instantly calmed Ben. It was such a familiar sound, one that reminded him of the positive time in the last couple years. He might’ve initially felt pressured to buy a fancy sports car by other people at work and the role he had found himself in but ultimately this was for him, a way for him to get away from it all on smooth drives in a comfortable seat. That same feeling he had then filled him now as he drove away from his building, hoping to head home via a car wash.

He wasn’t quite sure how he would explain the sudden appearance of a black sports car outside their house but at least Han and Leia knew he still had money, at least enough to pay them a little bit of rent. They didn’t need to know that technically he still had far too much money and a penthouse. Ben had hoped that Finn and Poe would’ve moved from the kitchen in the time he was gone and so definitely avoid any kind of conversation. He had no such luck however, it looked like they hadn’t moved once while he was out. Maybe he hadn’t been living from his family so far after all. Peering over Finn’s shoulder to look at his laptop he caught a look at the beach they were eyeing up for their wedding venue.

“You can’t get married there.” He said as he stepped back to look through the fridge, Poe’s head whipping up to stare at him with disdain.

“Why does it matter to you where we get married?”

“No, I mean you can’t get married on some random beach. It has to be a specifically approved place for your marriage to be recognised.”

Finn frowned at this and dropped his head to stare at the beach again but Poe kept his eyes on Ben’s back.

“How do you know about wedding venues?”

“One of my coworkers was going to get married but the place wasn’t approved. So he called it all off and broke up with her.” Ben answered with his head still in the fridge. His comment earned him a chuckle from Finn that made him feel marginally more comfortable. Talking about his job wasn’t something he ever did.

Finn and Poe mostly ignored him as he made himself some food but as he was heading down into his basement he snuck another look at the laptop. They were talking about having a beach reception now but in Ben’s honest opinion the place they were looking at just wasn’t very nice.

“Just go to the beach by Uncle Luke’s house.” He said as he was heading out of the room.

“Why there?” Poe asked, clearly suspicious of Ben’s offering more comments.

“Because it’s way nicer than all those places and everyone can all stay in his massive house. No need for hotels. It’ll make things a bit cheaper.”

Before either of them could answer Ben opened the door and went down the few steps into the basement, feeling rather smug. Putting his food by his bed he reached for his laptop to try and continue his job search. His mind was rapidly going elsewhere however as his head began to fill up with memories of Luke and his coworkers, his old job and his old life, a familiar pattern of mistakes, regret and anger building up inside him. Just as he began to give into these feelings he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out he almost immediately dropped it at seeing that Rey had texted him. He stared at the notification for a long moment before opening, unknowingly smoothing his shirt and fixing his hair slightly before he did.

_is that ur car?_

_the fancy black one?_

Ben read her messages over a few time until he properly understood them. Years ago Rey had loved cars, had wanted to be a mechanic or an engineer. It was something Chewie always boasted about, Rey being like him. It surprised him though that her interest was apparently still there after all this time. After all, when had she see a car recently?

_Yes it is. Is it that obvious?_

_a bit_

_not many people here drive a car like that_

_Do you like it?_

Ben couldn’t quite explain it to himself but it really mattered that Rey liked his car. It meant a surprisingly large amount to him and he would be heartbroken if she didn’t.

_yeah its rlly cool_

_Thank you._

When Rey didn’t reply to him Ben’s mood dropped a little bit. It had lifted him up out of his spiral to get to talk to her like that and thought he knew that there wasn’t anywhere for the conversation to go he still felt a bit shit. At hearing his phone go off again he jumped and dropped his sandwich, letting out a string of curses as he tried to scoop t back onto his plate. He felt a stupid smile threaten his face when he saw it was Rey again.

_can i ask u a favour?_

_Of course._

_i have therapy tomorrow morning would u drive me?_

_Doesn’t Chewie take you_?

_its only my second time finn took me the first time_

_Would your parents let you go with me? We aren’t exactly on good terms._

_they would if i asked_

_its ok if u don’t want to i understand_

_No, I want to. Tell me where and when._

_i_ _ts at 9 so we’d have to leave at 8:30?_

_i hope that’s not too early?_

_Not at all. I get up early anyway. Do you know the address?_

_i think i lost the paper_

_can u ask finn? he knows it_

_Of course. I’ll see you then._

_:) thank u_

Would it be too much to thank her for asking him? Probably. Ben still wanted to do it anyway. It felt good to do something for someone else, to be thought about and trusted enough by people, even if it was something so small. For other people this would be so unimportant, just an errand he was running for a family friend. Not withstanding everything that had happened to Rey this was still so big for Ben, to feel like he mattered a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Ben takes Rey to therapy
> 
> sorry for a slightly shorter chapter  
> in the uk u do have to get married at registered palces (but not necessarily religious ones)  
> but things r gonna happen kind of soon so i wanted to get things going  
> i know nothing about cars so cant describe bens in any level of detail  
> :)


	24. Chapter 24

Chewie really didn’t understand period dramas. Everything happened so slowly, the characters all spoke in a weird way and no one ever said what they actually meant. He much preferred old cowboy films or these new superhero movies that kept coming out. But Rey wanted to watch some Jane Austen adaption and he was incapable of denying her anything, so now he was having to watch as a man proposed to the woman he loved whilst also insulting her family and saying how much he hated the fact he loved her. Frankly, Chewie didn’t know why did didn’t just hit the posh twat and never speak to him again.

“Why does she marry him in the end?” He asked.

“Because she loves him.” Rey answered from where she was tucked against him.

“Yeah I know, but he’s still a prick. Why would he say all these things if he loves her?”

“Because he’s proud. That’s the whole point. He’s too proud to admit he loves her and she’s too prejudiced to admit she loves him.” She paused and they watched as Mr. Darcy stormed off into the rain after being rejected. “And he’s really rich.”

“The other man was rich and a nice person. She didn’t need to marry a mean, rich one.”

“It’s the olden days Dad, of course she's going to marry a rich man. It's doesn't matter if he's nice."

His heart stuttered for a moment like it did every time she called him Dad. After going without hearing it for so long he felt like he needed it even more. 

They watched in silence, only talking when he scoffed at something and she defended the film, it was petty of him but he enjoyed hearing her talk, even now it was still rare. Maz had gone to see friends and he was enjoying his quiet evening with just Rey and Jane Austen. He had even wanted to make popcorn for them but he didn’t want to force too much food on Rey; she would eat at meals but avoid it any other time.

Just as the film was approaching the end they heard Maz come back and she sat down on a chair in the sitting room to take her shoes off. 

“Is someone staying with the Solo’s?” She asked while struggling with the laces on her shoes. 

Chewie frowned a bit and tried to think about whether Han had said anything when they saw each other over the fence earlier. 

“Don’t think so. Why?”

“There’s a new car outside their house. A black sports car.”

“It’s Ben’s car.” Rey said, her eyes still on the TV.

At the mention of Ben Chewie instantly felt his hackles rise. He tensed for a moment before willing himself to relax and stay calm, terrified of scaring Rey by being angry.

“How do you know that?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“I asked him. He’s taking me to therapy tomorrow in it.”

Maz quickly looked at Chewie and they stared at each other. He could see her trying to tell him to stay calm and not freak out, and were Rey not sitting snuggled against him he would. But her presence next to him kept him grounded enough to maintain some element of calmness. 

“What do you mean he’s driving you to therapy? I thought me or Mum would take you.”

“I mean I asked Ben earlier and he said yes. After I talked to him about his car.

“When did you ask him, you’ve been with us all day.”

“I have his phone number. I texted.” 

Maz and Chewie shared a panic look before Maz spoke up, Chewie too distracted by his anger to speak properly.

“Honey, do you remember what we said about Ben? About us not getting on with him because of the things he said.”

Rey turned to look at her parents in turn before looking at the TV again, more interested in watching Mr Bingley fail to propose to Jane. 

“Just because you don’t get along with him doesn’t mean he can’t take me to therapy.”

“Yes it does.” Chewie cut in before Rey could speak anymore. “Tell him I’m taking you.”

Something about his turn of voice made Rey tense for a second then finally tear her eyes away from the film. She looked him directly in his eyes for a long moment and Chewie felt himself become more and more uncomfortable the longer she kept it up.

“No.” She said quietly and looked away, watching the rest of the film without another word. As soon as it ended she got up and kissed both him and Maz as she went to go to bed, the tension in her shoulders never quite leaving her.

Chewie immediately got up from his seat and shut the door, beginning to pace around the living room while Maz stared daggers at the window and Ben’s car beyond it.

“How dare he?” Chewie began, fighting to keep his voice low so that Rey wouldn’t hear. “How fucking dare he? He fucks off for years doing God knows what, comes back, insults us and now he thinks he can just take her from us? When has he ever cared about her?” He ranted, feeling himself getting more worked up with every word. 

“He’s not taking her from us. It’s one morning and she’ll be with her therapist for most of it.” Maz argued from her seat.

“You’re ok with this? How are you ok with this?” 

He stopped pacing and stood in front of her, towering over her as he gestured with his hands. To anyone else he may have seemed intimidating but Maz was not a woman who cowered, especially not before her husband. Staying seated she replied to him coolly.

“No. I’m definitely not. If I had my way she wouldn’t be talking to him. At least not until she’s recovered enough to understand why we hate him like we do. But this is what she wants. She asked him and I won’t say no to her about something so small.” There was an edge to her voice and Chewie could tell she was trying to prevent her anger from rising. 

They stared at each for a long moment until Chewie felt all of his anger drain out of him suddenly and he fell back onto the sofa. He put his head into his hands for a moment, ashamed of his reaction.

“I won’t lose her again. Not to anyone. Especially not to him.”

“We’re not losing her. She’s going to therapy to help her and she wants someone else to take her.” Maz said as she crossed over to him and sat down beside him. Slowly she pulled his hands from his head and held them in her own. Even though she was half his size he felt like her tiny hands were holding all of him. 

“She has to know we’re here for her. Who knows what she’s been told over the years.”

As Maz spoke Chewie felt some level of realization creep into him. Rey’s endless asking about her room, about whether she was on the news, about whether they had ever given up on her. Someone must’ve told her that no one cared that she was gone and that her parents had moved on. Why else would she be so fixated on that?  
More guilt filled him. He shouldn’t spend so much of his anger on Ben. There were more important people for him to hate for what they had done.

-

Ben had never been so grateful for the fact he woke up early. It might’ve been a habit drilled into him by a boss who wanted him to never sleep and always work but now it meant that he could be ready in plenty of time before he had to meet Rey. And that time was spent choosing what to wear.

He had mocked Finn in the past for worrying over his outfits but as he stared at his minimal wardrobe he began to understand him a little bit. It wasn’t always about looking good, it was about having something to worry about that wasn’t Rey. Choosing what to wear wasn’t the same epic quest that Finn and Poe would experience however as he only owned a suitcase of clothes but still. It mattered.

Standing by his car in a black Henley and his cleanest jeans with a large, thin jacket on one arm Ben checked and rechecked the address. Finn had happily given it to him and he knew the area they were going to but he was still worried he would go the wrong way. He had even researched the therapist officer and the man who Rey was seeing, his misplaced paranoia soothed by finding that he was experienced, highly qualified and happily married. Ben didn’t want to think too hard about why he was soothed by learning this. 

Instead he focused on Rey coming out of her house in the same blue floral dress she had worn to dinner, only making a few steps down the path before Chewie came out of the house behind her and watched Ben from the doorway with anger, his expression only softening slightly when Rey turned back and waved at him. 

“Thank you for doing this.” She said as she approached him, her eyes half on him and half on the car.

“Anytime. Should we get doing?” 

He opened the door for her after Rey fumbled with the door handle and she smiled at him gratefully, sliding into the low seat. They drove off quietly as Ben resisted the urge to rev the engine and Chewie watched until they were out of sight. The soft silence Rey seemed to prefer filled the car for several streets until Ben finally gave in and spoke up.

“Was your Dad ok with me driving you?”

“No. He hates you.” 

Although it was not surprising in the least Rey’s blunt honesty hurt Ben. He had no right to expect anything less from Chewie but still, she had said it so innocently, unaware of how it affected him.

“Then why did he let you?” Ben asked, keeping his eyes firmly on the road and fighting the urge to see if the slight rustling beside him was Rey turning to face him.

“Because he wants me to be happy. And he knows that you won’t do anything anyway.”

Her tone was so confident, so sure that it took Ben aback and he almost ran the traffic lights. He sincerely doubted that Chewie thought he wouldn’t do anything but Rey clearly believed it. Hoping that his emotions didn’t show on his face he tucked that little piece of knowledge away in his heart for the next time his mind decided to spiral away.

Pulling up at the therapist Rey paused for a moment as she went to open her door.

“Ben?” she asked in a smaller voice.

“Yeah?” Ben said, chucking his jacket in the backseat. It was too warm for it anyway.

"Can you tell the receptionist I’m here? To see Baze Malbus?”

“Of course.” He replied with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. It must’ve been passable as Rey got out of the car and walked up to the building, only pausing to check if Ben was still with her. He overtook her as they got to the door and spoke to the receptionist for her. 

They only had to wait for a moment before Baze Malbus stepped out of his office and asked for Rey, explaining that although it was a few minutes until her appointment technically he wasn’t doing anything and she was the first person he was seeing anyway. Rey introduced him and Ben shook the man’s hand, surprised at how rough it was for a therapist before she was ushered away.

An hour had never passed so slowly for Ben. He had meant to get something useful done, like update his CV or look through some of those job offers that had caught his eye but his fingers were too clumsy to type with. Ultimately he ended up playing games on his phones. It wasn’t very mature for a 31 year old lawyer but it passed the time adequately. More than once he paused in his game to try and listen to what was being said between Rey and Malbus, but even though the door was ajar he couldn’t make anything out and he felt too disgusted by his actions to try any harder. 

When Rey stepped out she was clutching a piece of paper with a few words written on it between her little hands and Ben squinted slightly trying to read what she had written. She was fiddling with it too much for him to get a proper however and he was a bit too distracted with her return to really care.

He only nodded at the therapist while to was confirmed between them that she would come back at the same next week and this time followed her out of the building as she opened the door for herself, despite his urge to leap forward and open it for her. She really didn’t need him to try and be a gentleman.

She managed the car door too even though it was unnecessarily complex. It looked cool though. They sat in their silence again as Rey stared out of the window and folded the corner of her paper over and over again. 

“What’s that?” Ben took his eyes off the road for a moment to nod at it.

“Oh. It’s a list. Baze suggested it.”

“What of?” Ben really hoped he wasn’t pestering her too much.

“Things I want to do. I said how sometimes there’s too much to do out here and he suggested writing things down so they aren’t all in my head. And then I can do them when I want to.”

At a red light Ben glanced down at it and saw it was unfolded on her lap. All it had she had put was see the beach and potato salad in perfect handwriting. He frowned at that second one but didn’t ask her about them and instead enquired about music. Rey twisted her fingers for a bit in a way that looked painful before answering quietly.

“Can we listen to anything?”

“Sure. Anything you want.” Ben answered.

“Can we listen to Dolly Parton?”

Ben chuckled a little bit at her request but got his Spotify up on his car quickly, noticing how wide Rey’s eyes got at the smart features. He put on a best of playlist and stole glances at the way Rey bobbed her head slightly to the songs for the rest of the way back. 

Pulling into their street however Ben quickly shut the music off as he noticed the crowd of people and vans outside Rey’s house.

“Shit.” He muttered as he stopped the car at the top of the street and turned to Rey whose eyes were still glued on the scene in front of them.

“Ben, what’s going on?” She asked nervously.

“It’s the fucking press. Someone must’ve told them you escaped.” As he spoke he looked around slightly frantically for a way to avoid this.

Spotting his jacket on the backseat he reached passed Rey to get it and handed it to her.

“Put this over your head and don’t get out of the car. I’m gonna park by your house, let you out and walk you to the door. Keep your head covered.”

She was eyeing him with too much apprehension and holding his jacket too gingerly for Ben to feel encouraged. Taking her list from her lap he tucked it away into his pocket before pressing lightly on the jacket, trying to encourage her.

“Please Rey” Ben begged unashamedly.

With a glance at all the press in the street Rey nodded and put the jacket over her head while Ben cursed God over and over. Why did they have to come now, when Rey wasn’t safe at home?

Ben drove straight at the crowds, glad they were stepping aside but uncaring if he ran them over, and stopped directly in front of the Kanata’s with half his car on the grass. He stepped out of his side and rushed over to Rey’s whilst ignoring all the shouting and cameras. Not wanting to pause even for a moment Ben reached forward to help Rey get out of the seat and wrapped an arm round her back as he guided her to the door, trying not to hurry her too much as she walked uncertainly from underneath the jacket.

Just as they reached the door Chewie swung it opened and grabbed Rey from Ben, stepping back enough that Ben could slide into the house behind her and slam the door. The moment the door closed Rey immediately took the jacket off and wrapped her arms around her father, her hair tousled and cheeks flushed. 

Looking further into the house he could make out Maz talking to angrily to someone on the phone in the kitchen while Ben’s family all stood around awkwardly. After what felt like several minutes Rey raised her head from Chewie’s shirt and looked around. 

“What’s going on?”

Chewie didn’t reply, instead smoothing Rey’s hair with one of his massive hands. It was Leia who spoke up instead.

“They all showed up about half an hour ago, trying to take photos and asking questions. The police are trying to keep them back from the house a bit.”

Before Leia could go any further the phone rang and Finn went to read the name on it.

“It’s Lando.” He said, returning to Poe who wrapped his arms around Finn from behind.

“Everyone keeps ringing asking if it’s all true. We didn’t tell anyone at first so this is the first people are hearing of it.” Leia said to Rey.

“Whose Mum talking to?”

“Those fucking detectives. She’s trying to find out how they all found out because we sure as hell didn’t say anything.” Chewie said gruffly, now focused on straightening Rey's dress. 

A moment later Maz hung up and walked into the hallway with the others. Even Ben who couldn’t read Maz well could see her frustration.

“They swear blind no one in their department leaked it. Saying it’s a highly confidential case. They’re working off the theory it was someone who saw them at that house and put two and two together from the questions they were asking.” She paused and looked down at the her again. “They said they're going to put out a statement soon confirming that it’s true but not giving any more information, just asking for people to come forward. If that’s ok with us.” 

Maz’s eyes slid from Chewie to Rey who still looked bewildered. 

“How was therapy?” Maz asked, shifting to a light tone. Rey blinked for a moment before gasping softly and turning to Ben.

“I’m so sorry, I think I left my list in your car.” She said and worried at her lip.

“No I picked it up.” Reaching into his pocket Ben pulled it out and handed it to her.

Rey took it from him and read it again before muttering something about going to her room. She walked up the stairs away from them and disappeared through the door Ben assumed to be her room. He had never seen it.

Looking away from Rey he saw everyone staring at him now. 

“What list?” Finn said, sounding slightly suspicious. 

“Something her therapist suggested. Things she wants to do. She didn't talk about it much.” Ben replied. Without Rey and her goodwill towards him Ben was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

They all stood around uselessly for a moment until the Kanata’s phone rang again. Without checking to see who it was Maz picked it up and immediately put it back down again.

“You’re all welcome to stay until the circus goes.” She said to the group. “Unless you have plans in which case you can climb over the fence.”

There was a humourless chuckle from everyone followed by both Ben and Poe opting to go home, Poe giving some excuse about having work to do and Ben not saying anything at all. He got the sense that maybe Poe didn’t want to stick himself in and intrude, although the heartbroken look on Finn’s face as Poe left suggested to Ben that Poe would not have been intruding. 

Ben grabbed his laptop the second he was back in his room and quickly loaded the news. Every single page he found headlined some article about the return of Rey Kanata, victim of one of the most famous missing persons cases in the country followed by pictures of him and Rey returning from her session. Light canvas shoes, thin white legs still with fading bruises and scars, a blue floral dress and then a large black jacket was all the world knew of Rey Kanata now. Next to her Ben looked huge, like some kind of bodyguard ushering her in, the arm wrapped around her back and the hand on her waist covering most of her back. 

He was at least glad to see that none of the articles actually had anything to say. It was clear that none of them knew any details of what had happened and social media was increasingly full of theories as the news spread more and more. 

When he couldn’t take much more Ben shut his laptop and lay down, willing himself to calm down and stop being so frantic. There wasn’t anything he could do now. As he felt his heartbeat returning to normal he reopened his laptop and began to update his CV, glad of any distraction now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- plans are made
> 
> a big chapter and big events!  
> sorry if ur not a jane austen fan but sometimes u gotta put elizabeth bennet into ur story  
> even if nothing had happened to rey i think chewie is the kind of dad to hate any guy talking to his little girl  
> i rlly hope u liked this, im quite chuffed with it


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Chewie butt heads.

Leia held onto Han’s hand tightly as they all sat around the Kanata’s living room and listened to the sound of the reporters outside. There was such a strong sense of déjà vu hanging around the room as they began to go through it all again. Only this time they were worrying about Rey in a different way.

Slowly, they tried to make some kind of plan, a way to cope with all of it that didn’t involve simply trapping Rey in the house and garden until it all died down, knowing with experience that it wouldn’t stop for a long time. Leia was becoming increasingly frustrated with how little progress they were making however, every idea having endless flaws coupled with a lack of knowledge about the actual situation preventing things from happening. She liked doing this, being in charge and making things happen. It was how she had become so successful and important, eventually being able to use her prominence to boost the profile of Rey’s case.  
As time went on the clamour outside grew louder with more and more reporters and people showing up as word spread, all of them having long grown irritated by people calling them and had turned off their phones.

It was Finn who finally suggested that they didn’t do anything until the police released their statement and they had watched the news at one to see what was actually being said and Leia felt herself distracted from the situation for a moment with pride for Finn. He had never deserved to lose his childhood in the way that he did but it had helped to create someone who seemed smarter and stronger than any of them. It was a little bit embarrassing though that none of them had come out with that idea though.

They fell into silence soon as there was nothing more to discuss once they had agreed on that and talking about anything else felt frivolous. Everyone was still sitting in stiff silence when Rey appeared in the doorway. Leia watched as she perched on the arm of the sofa next to Chewie and looked at the window, squinting as if she could see through the closed curtains. 

“When’s lunch?” She asked Maz.

“Oh God, is it lunch already?” Maz said and Leia checked her watch. It really was time to eat something if they didn’t want to miss the news, unless they ate in the living room which Maz would never allow.

They all traipsed into the kitchen and Maz pulled some leftovers out of the fridge. It wasn’t one of the best meals she had ever eaten but Leia wasn’t one to complain given how hit and miss her own cooking tended to be. 

To her surprise Rey joined them in the living room to watch the news, sitting on the floor in front of her parents with an impassive face. After Rey had come in clinging to Ben only to bury herself in Chewie’s beard then disappear into her room Leia had assumed that she either didn’t want to know what was happening or that she didn’t care.

It wasn’t to anyone’s surprise though that Rey’s escape was the first item on the news. Alongside the now very familiar image of Rey’s last ever school picture the presenter recalled how seven years ago fourteen year old Rey Kanata had disappeared on her way back from school, never to be seen again. Until now. People were even calling it miraculous. They showed footage of Ben bringing Rey into the house from his car before cutting to outside the police department.

Leia immediately recognised Superintendent Imwe. She had worked with him through several projects trying to help at-risk children and prevent young people having to resort to crime. Knowing he was in charge of Rey’s case maybe her feel somewhat more confident. 

The police statement was simple. They confirmed the reports that Rey Kanata was alive and well, living at home again with her family. Nothing was said of the circumstances surrounding her disappearance or her escape and the failure of the previous police investigations. He finished by asking for privacy and respect for the Kanata family as well as asking anybody who had information to come forward.

It was very well done Leia thought. Diplomatic.

Returning to the news studio the presenter went one about the scale of the police investigation and the public support before finishing with a phone number for people to contact with any information.

As they moved onto other stories Maz turned the television off whilst everyone else sat still and Leia watched Rey unsubtly. She was frowning intently at the black screen whilst picking at one of her nails, pushing the cuticle further and further down to expose more of the nail. Leia glanced at Han briefly and their eyes met, both wanting to speak and try and get some kind of plan made but unwilling to until Rey had shown some kind of reaction to the news. 

Rey didn’t speak however, just rose up and walked out of the room silently with hunched over shoulders. Leia listened to the sound of gentle footsteps on the stairs followed by the door opening and shutting. The moment she was away Chewie rose and went to close the living room door, turning to face the others.

“We should go away.” He said firmly. “Last time it was this intense it lasted for weeks. I don’t want her trapped in the house like that.”

Leia nodded and glanced at the closed curtains. It was endlessly cruel to Rey. She had escaped from one prison only to be forced into another one. It didn’t matter that it was a big house with a garden or that her family were there, it was the same principle.

Finn snapped her out of her musings before she became too embedded in them, asking the question Leia knew she should’ve been considering.

“Where are we gonna go? We can’t just book somewhere that fits this many people, not on such short notice.”

“Luke.” Leia said before she was aware she had spoken. “We’ll stay at Luke’s. God knows his house is far too big for one bachelor anyway.”

Everyone nodded to themselves, a little cloud of frustration covering the room as the simplicity of this solution was considered. They should’ve thought about this hours ago. 

Leia worked through the mechanics of it in her head briefly before she spoke again, purposely filling her voice with conviction. No one needed uncertainty at this point.

“There are three rooms that Me and Han, Maz and Chewie and Finn and Poe can take. Ben and Rey can have the two little single rooms. If Rey gets in a car while it’s in the garage she doesn’t have to cover her head or be seen.”

She was prepared to go on, to talk about calling Luke and driving down there and letting the police know what was happening but Chewie was staring at her with a murderous glare. It stopped her for a moment and held her in place, unable to go on.

“You think Ben will be coming?” He said with some kind of threat in his voice.

Leia returned his icy stare, willing to defend her son from Chewie.

“Yes. He’s all over the news just as much as we are.”

“You know what he’s said Leia. What he’s done. It’s bad enough he lives next door to Rey let alone living in the same house as her.” Chewie replied, growing larger with every word. 

Leia did know. And she knew he regretted it. Despite his attempts to hide himself away from his family out of guilt and shame Leia could still read him perfectly and she knew that he had truly believed what he said and that now he truly regretted it.

“He regrets it, I know he does,” she said sternly, “I won’t have you keep him out of this family because of his past actions. What are you even worried about happening anyway?”

“I’m worried about him saying something else. Getting angry. Scaring her.” Chewie growled, taking a step closer.

“She seems fine around him. Hell, she likes him!” Leia said, her voice becoming louder and more emotional.

“You don’t get to say who she likes!” Chewie’s voice growing to a shout.

“Neither do you!” she replied, stepping into his space.

“Hey!” Finn yelled, still sitting and staring at them incredulously. “How about neither of you dictate who Rey does and doesn’t like and actually ask her if she wants him there?”

“Because she’ll say she wants him to come. She doesn’t understand why we don’t like him.” Maz said, standing up and taking her place beside her husband just as Han rose to stand behind Leia.

“Have you told her?” Finn asked from his armchair.

“We tried. She doesn’t remember.” Chewie said, his shoulders shrinking just a bit.

“How do you know she doesn’t remember? Just because she’s far away in her head most of the time doesn’t mean she’s not paying attention.”

Chewie scoffed at this and opened his mouth to speak but Finn cut in, his patience clearly long worn thin.

“Maybe she just doesn’t care that he said that. It’s not really a big deal given everything else that’s happened to her. But this will be. So we tell Poe and Ben to come here and we all go to Uncle Luke’s. If Rey wants that.”

As he stopped talking Finn fixed each of them with a hard stare and Leia felt her cheeks grow hot under his eyes, his chastisement embarrassing her. Sometimes it was hard to believe how young he was sometimes when he spoke so confidently, so sure of the right thing to do. He pulled out his phone, no doubt to text Poe and Leia sat back down again, Han taking her hand and rubbing soft circles on the back of it.

Chewie held himself rigid but sat down anyway, Maz joining him. They shared a look Leia was long familiar with but had never quite been able to figure out. It said I understand, we’re in this together and something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint. They all sat in a frosty as they waited for the others to arrive, leaving her with plenty of time to dwell on her own thoughts.

-

Ben was really unphotogenic. The footage that the news had shown of him helping Rey into her house showed a large, lumbering man who looked like he had just learnt how to walk alongside someone who looked far more graceful than him even with a jacket over her head. 

He hadn’t bothered to watch the rest of the news, not after they had talked about Rey and shown the police statement. Despite his anger at the police for not being able to find the bastard he did have to admit that the superintendent seemed to have his priorities straight. Or maybe it was just easy to say the right thing when you had very little to say.

As he was flicking through different papers articles about Rey on his laptop he felt his phone go. Praying that it was Rey he dived across his bed for it, only to frown at the unknown number that had texted him. His frown deepened when he read the message. Of course people would come crawling out of the woodwork after watching him on the news. His finger hovered over his phone, moving to reply then moving to block the sender.

Eventually Ben did neither, simply turning his phone off and returning his attention to his articles. He felt unwilling to block someone who had reached out to him, especially not someone he had sometimes had some camaraderie with but he felt no desire to reply either. Anyone who was only reaching out to him now after seeing the news wasn’t anyone who had his best interests at heart. 

To Ben’s surprise there was a knock on the door to the basement followed by the door opening and disturbing him. Poe stood there awkwardly with his phone in hand.

“Hey, um, Finn texted. Said to go over next door to talk about what we’re doing.” He said, turning his phone around in his hands before walking away.

It only took Ben a fraction of a second to gather his thoughts before he was up and following Poe over the fence. His thoughts were immediately scattered however as they looked through the kitchen door and saw Rey sitting at the table drinking juice and doing the sudoku in the paper. He and Poe glanced at each other briefly then Poe shrugged and opened the door.

Rey didn’t look up from the paper though, she simply chewed her pencil and frowned slightly, releasing it to put in a number. Looking around Ben couldn’t see anyone else, nor could he hear any voices.

“Hey Rey,” he began gently, trying not to startle her. It didn’t work though and Rey jumped slightly, her pencil messing up the little number she was writing. Her eyes slid from him to Poe and she relaxed. “Do you know where the others are? Finn told us to come over.” Ben finished.

Rey nodded and looked back down at her puzzle. 

“They’re in the sitting room, fighting.” She said nonchalantly.

It was Ben’s turn to tense and his mood immediately soured. How fucking stupid were they, these people who were meant to love her the most, that they would argue and risk scaring her? Rey seemed fine but it could’ve been so different. 

Him and Poe shared a look before beginning to leave the kitchen, only stopped by Rey’s voice, calling Poe’s name. This wasn’t for him but Ben stopped anyway and looked back.

“Don’t leave like that. He needs you.” Rey said, putting down her pencil and getting up.

Poe looked stunned for a moment then his face became unexpectedly emotional, his eyes becoming glassy and his gaze dropping. He nodded, more to himself than Rey but continued down the hallway to the living room where Ben could mercifully hear no voices. He considered knocking for a moment but thought better of it, simply opening the door and letting their odd little trio in.

Everyone looked up at them and Ben caught the atmosphere, the remnants of an argument still in the air. Ben lingered just beyond the doorway while Poe walked straight past him to Finn and watched as he took Finn’s hands and squeezed them briefly before moving behind the armchair and putting his hands on Finn’s shoulders. Ben expected Rey to walk past him too, to go and sit with her parents but she stayed next to him, not close enough to touch but not moving away. They all stood in silence for a moment until Poe broke the silence, his voice sounding too loud and jolly.

“Finn said we should come over, that you guys had thought of a plan.”

Leia sat up straight at hearing this and Ben recognised the signs of a woman well practiced at public speaking beginning her speech. 

“We think it’s best if we all go away for a while. To stay with Luke at his house down by the sea. That way we won’t have to deal with the press and we can come and go as we please.” 

Ben easily read between the lines of his mothers words, her careful phrases she had chosen to avoid words like trapped or imprisoned. He couldn’t feel irritated at her plan however, so far every sign seemed to indicate that he would be allowed to come with them and he desperately wanted to. He didn’t want to have to watch her be taken somewhere else, not when he was finally beginning to feel less lonely. 

“Go away?” Rey said, her little voice drawing Ben’s attention away from his self-pity.

“To Uncle Luke’s, just until this storm passes.” Maz said and reached her hand out to Rey. Rey didn’t move though, instead twisting her hands in front of her.

“I don’t want to go away. I only just got back.” Rey’s voice was becoming more emotional than normal and Ben almost reached out to try and comfort her. 

No one seemed to know what to say and the air in the room became heavier by the moment, the low noise from outside adding to the oppressive atmosphere.

“We know darling. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. Will you think about it?” Chewie said, making another attempt to reach out to Rey.

His arms were longer than Maz’s and he gently separated her hands, stopping her twisting her fingers to what must've been the point of pain. She kept her eyes down on their joined hands and Ben had a fleeting moment of jealousy. He wanted to be able to calm her, keep her safe from hurt. It was gone as soon as it came however, tamped down by a heavy realization.

If Rey were to agree to going away then he would go with them. To his uncle’s home. Where his uncle lives. Ben hadn’t seen Luke for a long time but until he had come home he had seen Luke more recently than the rest of his family when Luke had come to see him at his job, to try and apologise for his actions and bring Ben ‘back to the light’ as Luke worded it. Ben had been to brainwashed, too angry at Luke's previous actions to see the truth behind his words and had turned his back on his uncle. Now he would definitely have to face him. 

Coming back to reality Ben looked up from his feet to find that they were all talking about the press. Ben quickly gathered that Rey had asked about it all, how long it would last and how intrusive would it be. He wanted to contribute, having read about other cases where public interest was intense and reporters had climbed trees and broken into hospitals for stories and pictures. He didn’t though, choosing instead to listen and watch Rey. She nodded every now and then as her eyes moved from speaker to speaker, sometimes growing wider at a particular anecdote. 

The conversation evolved until Rey dropped out of it, no longer interested in whatever Finn was saying. The room had grown lighter since their entrance and Ben wondered at it for a moment. Perhaps it was because they were talking about something else, perhaps they didn’t want to get confrontational in front of Rey, maybe Poe was just so charismatic he put them all at ease. 

Looking downwards Ben noticed Rey staring down at her hands folded meekly in front of her.

“Do you want to go?” He asked, needing to know her answer. “Ignore everything they’re saying. Do you want to go?”

Rey nodded her head slightly before answering and turned her head up towards him.

“I don’t want to have to stay hidden inside.” She said quietly, simple words that spoke volumes. A little, shy smile grew on her face as she looked at him. “Besides, I do want to see the sea again.”

“Then we’ll go.” Ben said, smiling a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- everyone goes on a summer holiday
> 
> its a bit out of character for luke to live in a big ol house but im afraid the plot needed it  
> finn is the only person around with any sense  
> the News at One is the BBC daily television news coverage, non-politically aligned news coverage that is on tv several times a day as well as online. its the most popular tv news in the uk


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets to Luke's.

Rey was quiet at dinner that evening. She had gone back to her bedroom as soon as they had started to organize heading to Luke’s in earnest, talking to him and the police, and had rejected offers to help with her things. Chewie wanted to know what was on her mind as beyond establishing what they needed to pack she hadn’t said a word. Maz and Chewie ended up talking over her head about anything and nothing to distract themselves from her silence. 

Despite getting better at establishing what Rey’s silences meant he couldn’t tell why she was being so quiet. Her initial distress at the appearance of the press might’ve caused her silence or some reluctance to leave her home so soon after coming back. Either way she wasn’t talking and Chewie’s heart was breaking. He had spent so long dreaming about what it would be like to have Rey back but reality was nothing like he had thought it would be. He was completely unprepared for how different she was and entirely unsure of what to do. Father’s were meant to repair thing, to make everything alright for their daughters and he didn’t know how to.   
The fact that Maz seemed pretty unaffected by what was happening only made him feel worse.

By the time he was sitting on his bed, staring at his over packed suitcase and listening to Rey pacing in her room, Chewie had run through every possible way that this forced holiday going wrong. Most of them included him murdering Ben, Rey falling off a cliff, Ben murdering him, Rey drowning in the sea or Rey and Ben eloping.  
As he slid into bed besides his wife Chewie considered checking on Rey and trying to get her to go to sleep. Tomorrow they were waking up early after all. He had tried to talk to her when she was pacing around her room before however and it had only served to upset her. It was another cause of concern for Chewie about this trip. Lots of things upset Rey and the others wouldn’t know. What if they tried to get her to eat between meals or complete a task quickly? 

Muffled footsteps lulled him to sleep in spite of his endless worrying though and he was unable to dwell on it any further.

-

Ben decided to leave a few hours after the others all left. Seeing Luke again would be bad enough without an audience and they had wanted someone to hang around a little bit just in case someone called. No one had directly asked Ben to be this person but he thought it couldn’t be anybody else, they were all trying to leave quickly and enjoy what Leia was calling an accidental holiday. And it would help Ben on his mission to make up for past events. 

He had watched as the others drove off at dawn, Rey in the back of Maz and Chewie’s car. It reminded him of the wine glass.

Her wave at him made up for Chewie’s death stare as they drove off and Ben went back into the house. His staying behind for a few hours in case anything happened had been a point on contention between the two families, Leia and Han arguing that Ben was perfectly capable of sorting things out and Chewie and Maz not wanting him anywhere near any of this mess. Eventually someone must’ve pointed out how nice it would be to have a few house down by the beach without him around and the Kanata’s dropped the matter. Besides, Ben was sort of hoping for an email about a job he had a applied for and wanted to have the chance to check his email a couple times before he left.

It didn’t take long for Ben to regret his decision to obsessively see if anyone had emailed him because by the time he had given up, not heard anything from either the police or the hospital a crowd of reporters had gathered in front of the two houses. He slowly gathered up his belongings and made his way to the door, cursing himself for not moving his car into the garage after his parents left. If he had he could just have driven out and no one would see him. As it was he would have to just duck his head and push through people to get to his car. Between arriving with Rey yesterday and leaving now his face would definitely be attached to her case in a way it hadn’t been before. 

Ben counted down from ten and berated himself for being over dramatic before pulling the door open enough to step out. He shouldered past people an ignored the shouting as he unlocked his car and dumped his bag on the passenger seat. When he sat down and shut his car door he had never been more grateful for choosing the darkly tinted windows. 

Turning on the engine he jumped out of his skin at the sound of Dolly Parton filling up the car, distracting him from the task at hand. It seemed so long ago since he had driven Rey back listening to this. It must’ve been more than 24 hours ago. 

Han had said that it would take him around two hours to get to Luke’s and Leia had said it would be three. Ben was far more inclined to go with Han’s timing, he had inherited his father’s slightly reckless habits on the road and was driving a sports car after all, not his father’s vintage car that was more modifications than original parts by now. Han always said he improved it. He had not.

He nodded along to the music for a while as he drove out of their little neighborhood but when he got to the motorway Ben turned it off, switching to the radio to listen to the sports coverage. Rey had been the top headline at the six o’clock news but they still had nothing real to cover beyond people calling the police with tips that Ben knew would probably be bullshit. 

Once his parents had tried to get him to learn to play rugby, to try and help lessen his aggression. He had only been 13 at the time but he was already getting out of hand, starting fight, disrupting class and growing endlessly tall. He had been good at rugby but it had done nothing to help calm him down and Han and Leia had been too busy being parents to Finn by then to think of any other ways to help him. 

Old anger built up in Ben as he drove along, the sounds of old match coverage fading into the background. His parents had never been bother with him, only caring when they felt like it before giving up entirely and just adopting another child to try all over again. And of course this kid had to turn out perfectly, calm and kind and friendly. And got worse until Luke tried to intervene without any luck.

Cutting them all off really hadn’t been hard.

Glancing down Ben caught a glimpse of his white knuckles, skin stretched out to breaking point across the bone from where he gripped the wheel. Willing himself to calm down Ben tried to think of other things instead. It did nothing to dwell on the past. 

He thought about what Rey’s list of things she wanted to do. What was she had said? They were written down so she didn’t have to have them all in her head. Relaxing his grip slightly Ben tried to make a mental list of good things he now had going for him.

A tenuous but mending relationship with Finn.

Lots of money.

He had applied for a new job where he would hopefully be able to do something good for a change.

Rey smiled at him when she saw him.

Chewie had yet to murder him.

Sure, it wasn’t the longest list in the world, but it was a start.

-

He got to Luke’s sooner than he had anticipated, making it in just under two hours. This was helped though by the fact he wasn’t able to drive right up to the house. Luke lived in an old, friendly looking bungalow down a little lane that was now blocked up with four different cars. 

Ben got out of his car and leaned on the door as he looked the place over. It was beautiful, surrounded by plants and looking deceptively small. Ben knew better than to be fooled though; the place was massive and filled with every knick-knack, worn chuck of driftwood and piece of sea glass a person could imagine. 

Slinging his bag over his shoulder he began to slowly walk down the path with a completely empty mind. For all the time the drive he given him to think he hadn’t considered at all what he would say to Luke and now that seemed pretty stupid. He quickly tried to think of what would happened as he meandered down the lane and watched the sea, just a glimpse of the beach Luke lived by visible between the dips of the coastline. Luke would probably be all sanctimonious and smug, glad that Ben had left the dark side or however he had described Ben’s old job and state of mind. Whatever. He was 31. He would just go and sulk in his room as soon as possible. 

A sick little thought suddenly came into Ben’s mind that stopped him in his tracks. Rey was there and she would be far more of a distraction for everyone than the tension between him and Luke. Ben wanted to turn around and leave the moment he thought that, or at least vomit into the grass.

Rey hadn’t gone through everything she must’ve suffered through just to be thought of as a distraction.

To his endless relief it was Leia that opened the door when Ben knocked with Luke no where in sight. Despite everything she had done in the past Leia had somehow become Ben’s main defender and although he didn’t know how this had come about he was somewhat happy about it. It was nice to have someone in your corner occasionally. 

“How was everything back at home?” She asked as she shut the door behind him while Ben toed his shoes off.

“Fine. Lots of reporters but no important calls or anything.” Ben shrugged his jacket off and picked up his bag again.

Leia gestured for him to follow her into the house, wringing her hands just a little bit and making Ben frown.

“Is everything ok?” He asked as he took in how she was ever so slightly paler than normal.

“Everything’s fine. What makes you say that?”

“Mum.” Ben said sternly, giving her a look. “What’s happened?”

Leia sighed as they got to the end of the corridor that Ben knew was lined with bedrooms. Opening the door she showed him a small bedroom full of warm wooden furniture and bookshelves full of rocks and hand crafted objects. He looked at the single bed apprehensively though, already imagining having to sleep in something so little. Dumping his bag on the bed Ben turned back to look at his mother, waiting for her to explain why she looked so shaken. 

They stared at each for a moment before something seemed to go in Leia and she visibly deflated.

“Poe was making us brunch and dropped a glass. It scared Rey so much she had some kind of panic attack.” She said, glancing down the hallway to see if anyone could hear. “Maz and Chewie calmed her down. I just, I didn’t know thing were that bad.”

Ben was torn between scoffing at his mother’s naivety and genuine concern for Rey. Unable to choose between the two he simply shrugged and turned around to look out of his window and the fields beyond, waiting for Leia to leave. She lingered in the doorway a little longer and Ben regretted not saying something comforting to her, especially after he had pushed her to explain what was going on. He wasn’t sure if he could however, being in Luke’s house was taking up all the space in his head.

“Just, be quiet at night please. Rey’s room is right next to yours.” Leia said as she left and nodded vaguely at the wall between his room and the next.

Alone in his little room at his uncle’s house Ben slumped onto the bed for a moment, surprised by how comfortable he found it. Facing his bed he saw a little row of wooden birds on a shelf that Luke had clearly whittled himself. He recognised the fat little shape with short wings and big eyes but he couldn’t for the life of him remember the name of them.

Perhaps is was the mention of brunch or a desire to see if Rey was okay but eventually Ben found himself walking into the main part of the house and hoping that Luke was on one of his long walks, far away from the house.

He had no such luck. 

Luke was sitting at the kitchen table, shelling peas with Rey and no one else in sight. Before he could head back to his room to tr and hunt down the Wi-Fi password or just hide Rey looked up and saw him. Her little wave caught Luke’s attention who sat back in his chair and looked Ben up and down.

There was a clear tension in the air as they stared at each other down, Rey glancing between them and clearly unaware of the causes for their dispute. 

“It’s good to see you Ben.” Luke said into the silence.

“Is it?” Ben replied immediately, trying to keep the depth of his malice out of his voice only for Rey’s sake. 

He moved past Luke to help himself from the food on the counter, ignoring the old man’s presence as he began to eat and watch Rey slowly work through the pile in front of her.

“How was the drive?” He asked after a while after debating whether of not to ask her if she was ok. It seemed like a ridiculous question to him though and one he had no idea of the answer of. There were plenty of reasons for her to not be okay and plenty of reasons for her to be fine. 

“Quick,” Rey said and looked up from her pile to answer him. “Dad’s car isn’t as nice as yours.”

“You didn’t listen to Dolly Parton then?” He replied, keeping his tone light as he focused on her not Luke.

“No. Just Mum and Dad talking endlessly.” 

Ben took Rey’s attention shifting back to her peas as his cue to leave and he did so promptly, unwilling to let Luke have another chance to talk to him. As he walked past the door to Rey’s room Ben couldn’t help but wonder where the others were sleeping. He could remember the layout of Luke’s house but that didn’t tell him who was in the rooms that were near him and Rey. 

Unwilling to have to look for the Wi-fi Ben checked his email once again on his phone, hoping that now office hours had begun someone would have contacted him. When he saw that they had and want ed to see him for n interview Ben felt a little bit of hope rise in him, something that was becoming a familiar feeling, because although it wasn’t as well paid as he was used to it would at least give something to do. 

He didn’t have time to reply to them though, he had only just finished eating his food when Leia was calling for him to come on a walk with them all and he had to go face them all again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- cliff top walks and conversations.
> 
> im so sorry for dipping for so long- got a bit of writers block cant lie  
> next chapter up v v soon, maybe even tomorrow but i cant promise  
> also next chapter will b more exciting, this was a bit anti climatic


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clifftop walks and conversation.

Ben couldn’t help but wonder how long this ‘accidental holiday’ would last before someone snapped. The animosity between him, Chewie and Luke was weighing down every conversation when they were near each other and noticeably confusing Rey. It was clear to see she had no clue about what had happened between any of them, something that caused Ben a great deal of guilt. 

He didn’t pretend to be an expert at much beyond breaking things and finding morally questionable legal loopholes but it couldn’t be clearer to him that bringing a trauma victim into an enclosed space with this much tension wouldn’t be good for her. 

It was with this in mind that Ben kept his distance from the rest of the group as they set out on a walk across the cliffs by Luke’s house. There was a little path down to the beach his home overlooked that they considered going down but someone had vetoed this idea and they were now heading across the cliffs. Everyone had paired off in some form leaving Ben trailing behind them alone and feeling like some kind of brooding antihero in a novel. He wasn’t quite so far behind that he couldn’t eavesdrop on others however and he by listening to Maz and Luke talking in front of him he quickly gathered that Rey had a hospital appointment tomorrow afternoon for a damaged wrist, didn’t eat outside of mealtimes, could be silent for hours not matter what she was feeling and would sleep badly at night before always getting up at six, sometimes having to have naps in the afternoon because she was so tired. 

It felt wrong, to be learning things about someone else by eavesdropping on a conversation but that didn’t register with him quite as much as the fact that Maz was freely telling Luke all of this. Of course Luke should know what’s happened, as estranged as Ben has been from him he knows Luke is very much a part of this family but still, something about Rey’s innocent and far away expressions made Ben feel like she didn’t know about these discussions. 

Not that she’s always far away. Sometime when they’ve spoken he feels like she’s staring right through his head and out the other side, seeing into him and everything he tries to keep hidden in the deep parts of his mind. Like she knows exactly what he has said about her, what he used to believe, all discovered just by looking at him.

Eventually Ben grew sick of walking this close to Luke to hear his self-satisfied voice and feel back even further until someone who walked pasted them would assume Ben wasn’t part of their group. 

It’s interesting, observing them from a distance. They look a little bit like a group of little children on a school trip, all paired up so that they don’t get separated. The pairs they have formed give Ben pause for thought as he watches them. Watch Poe is talking to Rey about with so much passion is unknown to him and he ends up debating about whether Poe is gushing about Finn or boasting about his time as a pilot before he joined Leia’s charity.

He becomes so lost in his musings that Ben doesn’t fully notice when he catches back up to them at a bench as everyone pauses to admire the view and almost bumps into Luke. Luckily he stopped himself in time, sure that if he had he wouldn’t have escaped without a scene.

Ben didn’t bother to listen to the others as they spoke about the view and the little church that was visible further along the coastline. He definitely didn’t miss it however when they started walking along again, the little pairs shuffled up and was Rey by his side, lingering slightly and a little bit unwilling to keep walking.

“Are you ok?” Ben asked, frowning down at her and the way she was scuffing her feet slightly in her little canvas shoes.

“Just a bit tired,” Rey replied as she watched the others walk away, “it’s more walking than I’m used to.” She chuckled slightly as she spoke in a clear attempt to deflect Ben’s question.

“We could head back. I’m sure the other’s will understand.” He suggested, already turning to head back. It really wasn’t far to get back to Luke’s, a few minutes and they would be there.

Rey considered his suggestion for a moment before smiling and nodding at him, hugging her arms around her body as they walked. Ben couldn’t miss the way her eyes were glued to the sea as to not miss a single wave. He would’ve tried to start a conversation but she seemed far more content to stare out to see and so he felt his mind starting to drift again as he considered what it would be like to have to get used to walking long distances again.

He was so deep in thought that he jumped out of his skin when he felt tiny, freezing cold fingers wrap around his wrist and find his skin underneath his hoodie.

“Look!” Rey whispered as she pointed at a little nest of those funny, fat birds on the cliff edge. She tugged Ben closer to her to watch them but he was far more distracted by the goosebumps all along her arms. 

It might’ve been a hot summer back home back out on the cliffs there was a strong breeze that made Rey’s skirt blow around her legs and that her thin dress was doing nothing to stop. Without thinking Ben slid her hand off his wrist and wrapped it up in both of his, entirely engulfing it before he rubbed softly.

Rey’s eyes slid from the nest of birds to his hands holding hers, her mouth hanging open slightly and her cheeks pinkening. When her gaze slid up to meet his Ben suddenly realised his actions and let go of her hand, praying that he hadn’t overwhelmed her or overstepped the boundaries he didn’t understand.

“You’re cold.” He said, hoping that it explained his actions. That had been his whole motivation for his actions, none of it had been affected by his desire to be near her. 

As if she had only just realised this Rey rubbed her hands up and down her arms and adjusted her dress, keeping a distance between them.

A distance Ben crossed into when he reached a hand behind his head and tugged his hoodie off swiftly, handing it to her with a raised eyebrow.

“But you’ll get cold.” Rey said, taking the hoodie from him gingerly and eyeing the black t-shirt he was left in. Ben simply shrugged.

“I run hot.” 

In truth he was regretting his chivalry somewhat when the wind made the hair on his arms stand up but the sight of Rey putting on his hoodie and subsequently disappearing into it warmed him up again. A bit of misplaced masculine pride filled him at the way she had to roll the sleeves up a few times to free her hands along with a little chuckle at the sight of her little face and windblown buns emerging from his black jumper.

“Don’t laugh.” She said but Ben saw the smile sitting at the corner of her mouth. They started to walk again after she had stuffed her hands into her pockets, the silence only broken by her informing him that the birds were called Porgs and local to the area.

“Thank you, for this,” Rey said as they neared Luke’s and gestured to his hoodie, “I think I need to get used to wind too.” 

There was the same lighthearted tone to her voice as she said this but it didn’t help to lighten her words, Ben felt them weighing inside him heavily. Her words led to curiosity and Ben couldn’t help but step over her boundaries again.

“Did you, did you ever get to go outside?” He asked tentatively, sneaking the smallest of glances at Rey. She didn’t reply for a long time, not until they were leaving the coast path and walking up to Luke’s.

“Once, at night. It was very still.” 

Ben couldn’t understand. How could someone live a life where they had only gone outside once in seven years? How could someone force another person to live that life? Her long silence prevented Ben from asking her any more questions however and he instead had to consider how they would get into Luke’s house when neither of them had a set of keys.

Just as he was about to suggest he give Rey a leg up through a window though she opened the unlocked kitchen door and let him into the house before pattering off down to her room.

Ben had just got himself comfortably seated on Luke’s sofa with his laptop (why did one man need such a giant sofa?) when she reappeared in a massive knitted cardigan and fluffy socks, holding out his hoodie. He watched her drift around the room as he emailed back about interview dates, just sending it when she spoke up.  
“Have you ever seen the Truman Show?” Rey asked, taking Ben back a bit.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“It felt like that. Going outside. Like the world was a giant set he built and put me in.”

He didn’t know what to say to that and instead chose to nod and turn back to his laptop, grimacing at the sight of him leaving his house on the front cover or several pages and leaving Rey to her perusal of Luke’s collection of driftwood. A question rose up in him after a while though.

“What so special about potato salad?”

“Hmm?” Was all Rey said as she turned around to look at him.

“On your list of things you want to do you wrote ‘potato salad’. What’s the big deal about it?”

“I want to make it one day.” She replied as she sat down on the sofa a little way down from him and turned to look at the view. The other’s were making there way back in their direction and Ben knew their little bubble would be burst soon. 

“We could make it for lunch? God knows Luke can’t cook.” Ben suggested.

“I don’t want to today.” Rey answered and shifted her attention back to the sea, the conversation clearly over.

-

It was driving him crazy. Ben couldn’t work out what the little noises coming from Rey’s room were but they had been going for hours. He had been camped out in his room since lunch and had heard Rey going to bed. Not long after that this funny little pitter patter had started up and was slowly working it’s way into Ben’s skull and driving sleep further away from him. 

Ben lay in his little wooden bed from a longtime as he considered the pros and cons of getting up and seeing if Rey could stop that noise. There was a lot wrong with this idea but so far it had been a day of Ben being bold and he decided to carry that on just a little bit more.  
Knocking on Rey’s door quietly he pushed it open. Rey was standing across the room from her bed and staring at it with wide eyes in a giant t-shirt that had clearly once been Chewie’s.

“Hey, are you ok?” Ben asked, working to keep his voice low.

“Can’t sleep.” Rey muttered, walking towards her bed before turning around and walking away again. The little sounds had been her pacing around her bedroom apparently.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked, lingering in the doorway and desperate to help her.

Rey shook her head and stopped in the same spot away from the bed.

“It’s the bed. I had the same one, only a double.” She said, staring at it again before she started to pace.

It was just a single bed with a metal bed frame, a classic one with a high headboard in brass. There was nothing inherently sinister about it but Ben could clearly see the distress it was causing her, to be given a bed to sleep in so like her one she had been forced into. Ben was only just thinking about the sick implications of a double bed when he remembered something.

“I have a different bed frame, a wooden one. We could swap, if that would help you sleep?” He offered, wishing that his joggers had pockets to stuff his hands into instead of letting them pointlessly hang there.

Rey stopped moving as he spoke and looked at him. Slowly she nodded, not accepting his offer as easily as she had done earlier. Ben moved out of the doorway to let her out and into his room when she paused and pulled a specific blanket from the bed. It wasn’t like any of the others in Luke’s house and Ben could only assume she had brought it from home. 

He tried not to linger as Rey stepped into the room he had been staying in, just gestured to the bed and apologised for the all mess he had managed to make in one day, leaving her to get comfortable alone and shutting the door behind him.

As he lay in what had been her bed Ben considered how nice it was to try and help other people. It seemed to come so easily to him around her, offering her things and trying to make her feel good even though he had never really known how to act around people before. Slipping into a deep sleep Ben’s last thought was that Rey wasn’t pacing around anymore.

-

Rey had never slept in this long Chewie realised as they all sat around the breakfast table in varied states. Finn and Han had clearly only just rolled out of bed in time to eat but Ben and Leia were already up and ready. Leia in particular was very keen to act like this was a normal holiday they were all on and even more keen to start their day and get going.

Just as Maz was reminding Leia that they were going to be out that afternoon for the hospital Chewie got up from the table to go and wake Rey up. It didn’t sit well with him at all, for everyone to be gathered around and eating together without Rey there, the knowledge that she was sleeping nearby not enough to calm him down. It was far too much like it had been in the past. 

There was also part of him he didn’t want to acknowledge that wasn’t enjoying having to be so rude to Ben constantly. Holding a grudge against someone was easy when they weren’t around but now, being in the same space as Ben constantly while remembering that Ben had been utterly in the wrong Chewie was finding it more difficult to maintain his aggressive anger. Not that that meant he would forgive Ben anytime soon, just that things were becoming harder in a way he hadn’t expected. 

A feeling of deep, familiar dread filled Chewie and chased all other thoughts from his mind however when he opened the door to Rey’s room to find her bed rumpled and empty, with no sign of her in sight.

As panic quickly began to fill him Chewie stepped out of her room and opened Ben’s door too only to be greeted with a perfectly made bed and still no Rey. It didn’t take long for his heart to get lodged in his throat as Chewie began to look through every bedroom and bathroom in Luke’s house, trying as hard as possible to keep his search quiet and not scare Maz.

It was fruitless. Not a single room showed any sign of Rey in them. 

Rushing back to the table with heavy feet his expression immediately told Maz exactly what had happened and the way she sank down into her chair with a face drained of blood made him choke on his heart even more.

“Chewie, what’s going on?” Luke asked, setting down his mug and rising from his seat, spurred into action by Chewie’s visible panic.

“It’s Rey. She’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Ben see's what he missed
> 
> imagine saying ur gonna update really soon and then just not doing that. couldn't be me.  
> im a sucker for a good bit of rey wearing bens clothes, what can i say?  
> hope that ur safe and ur house is warm!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worried about Rey

_Was this what it was like seven years ago, when Rey never came back from school?_

Ben wondered as he watched the colour fade from everyone’s face to be replaced by expressions of fear and panic. There was a heavy silence in the air, all of them too shocked for a moment to react properly. Then, at some silent signal Ben hadn’t noticed everyone leapt up from their chairs, determined to help look for Rey.

Finn called her phone, Poe looked around the garden, every room was checked at least three times. Ben didn’t bother to mention that he had swapped rooms with Rey the night before, both got checked over more than once and no one noticed that Ben’s clothes were strewn across what had been her bed.

He stood alone with only his own guilt for company in the kitchen, unable to help beyond clearing up some bits of breakfast. His mind was stuck between worrying about his actions yesterday and the way he had acted seven years ago. Everyone must’ve been so afraid and all he had done was put the phone down on Finn, not even bothering to ask why he was calling. For all he hated his family at that time he should’ve noticed the tremors in Finn’s voice, the audible anxiety and done what he could to help. He should’ve at least offered to come home, to be a bit of comfort for his parents.

Ben was startled out of disparaging himself when Poe spoke up. Somehow everyone had returned and Ben hadn’t even noticed.  
“Should we call the police?” He asked, looking around the group.

“Not yet. She might only have gone out for a bit.” Maz said with forced brightness.

Ben watched as Finn sat down and grabbed onto Poe’s hand tightly, keeping his eyes focused on how their fingers were locked together. It made Ben’s heart ache.

“What happened? Why’s she gone?” Finn said, far more to himself than anyone else.

“It’s his fault.” Chewie replied, his voice hard and loud and his eyes burning into Ben’s.

As Ben realised what Chewie had said he stood up taller, widening his shoulders and meeting Chewie’s murderous glare.

“What did I do?” He said, fighting the urge to step closer.

Chewie apparently had no such qualms however and did walk up to Ben, getting into his space.

“Yesterday. You don’t know what might upset her but you still acted like that around her.”

“So you know what upsets her? Because judging from last night you don’t.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Chewie got even closer as they spoke and Ben realised somewhere in his head that his words might have a meaning beyond what he meant.

“Giving her that bedroom, not asking if she’s comfortable sleeping in that bed. Maybe if you did know what upsets her you wouldn’t have done that.”

“Why would she have a problem with a bed?” Han asked, angling his body towards Ben and apparently backing up Chewie. Neither man acknowledged Han’s comment properly though and Ben didn’t break eye contact with Chewie to reply.

“It’s the same as she had in that house. Having to sleep in it upset her.”

“How do you know?”

“Maybe because I fucking asked! Sometimes she actually wants to talk about it y’know. Instead you all act like nothing ever happened and don’t ever bring it up.”

They were so close to shouting, their voices filling up the room and their faces close. It didn’t intimidate Ben that Chewie was taller than him, he would punch him without a single care.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me how to act around her! You don’t know her! You didn’t back then and you don’t now.”

“Do you know her? Because you don’t seem to from where I’m standing. Maybe you just don’t want to admit that she actually likes me.” This was a reaching a breaking point and Ben knew it. Unless someone physically dragged them apart one of them was going to hit the other.

No one moved.

“She likes you because she doesn’t know the shit you’ve said, she keeps forgetting. But you know damn well the moment she finds out she’ll hate you. Like she should.” Chewie said as he stepped closer to Ben, his face now looming directly above his.

“Or maybe she does remember and she just doesn’t care.” Ben pushed his face upwards, forcing Chewie to reel back slightly. His hands had tightened into fists and he was preparing to raise his arm when Maz cried out.

“Rey!”

Whipping round Ben saw Rey standing in the living room, a pretty rock in her hand and the sea air blowing her about through the open door behind her.

Maz rushed forward and pulled Rey into a bone crushing hug while Rey stared around the room in bewilderment. She awkwardly raised the hand not gripping a rock to pat Maz on her back just as Ben felt Chewie rush to her side, knocking into Ben harshly on the way.

“Honey, where were you?” Chewie asked, smoothing her hair from her face.

“I went down to the beach. I wanted to be outside.” She said, her voice confused. “What’s going on?”

Chewie coughed slightly, turning around slightly to look at the way they were all gathered around in a circle with Ben at it’s center. There was embarrassment clear on his face but Ben suspected it came from his daughter seeing him get angry rather than the way he had actually behaved.

“How long were you standing there?” He asked, his hand now resting on Rey’s shoulder.

“I just got back. Why does everyone look so worried?” Rey’s voice was meant for only her father to hear but her gaze landed on Ben who felt his shoulders relax somewhat. She hadn’t heard their fight. He didn’t have to come clean to her about what he had said all that time ago just yet.

“We came to get you and you weren’t there. We thought something had happened to you.” Maz explained.

“I was gone for that long?” Rey asked worriedly.

“It’s almost ten, Rey. No one has seen you all morning,”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I lost track of time I guess.” She mumbled and turned the rock over in her hands. “I’m not really used to that yet.”

Everyone stood around uncomfortably as they watched Rey. She sounded so remorseful that Ben found himself becoming angry at them all for being so worried, their concern for her clearly making her feel guilty. It hadn’t been her fault.

“Have you had any breakfast?” Leia asked, stepping closer to the doorway.

Her words seemed to break the spell and everyone started to move around again. Rey was ushered to the table and was offered food whilst people spoke around her. Apparently Poe and Finn were going to look at that church with Luke while she was at the hospital.

It impressed Ben really, they way they could all act as though nothing had happened. Something about the way Rey was looking at her little rock and the confusion in her eyes told Ben she knew exactly what had happened though.

-

Where Leia had decided to spend their parents money on having a comfortable, suburban life and running a successful charity Luke had decided to fund his various hobbies and live as a hermit. As a result Ben discovered he had become rather good at carpentry and had even made lots of the furniture in the house. This included the surprisingly comfortable bench Ben found himself sitting on late in the afternoon, down at the bottom of the garden with the cup of tea Leia had pressed into his hands and his laptop, passing his time reading updates on true crime forums.

It had felt perverse to read about Rey’s case when she was some vague figure in his life, someone he should’ve known but really didn’t. Actually knowing her now though made it so much worse. People spoke about her with a mix of awe and incredulity. It was apparently both inspiring that she had survived and unbelievable that she hadn’t been murdered and buried in a ditch for years. The odd person Ben came across even seemed to be angry that Rey had become a victim of a horrific crime.  
There were some parts he just couldn’t read. The things people were discussing that might’ve happened to her made his stomach churn and he had to physically look away from the screen to watch the sea.

He found his focus being pulled away from his page more and more by the view, eventually succumbing to just staring at it. He felt his mind wandering constantly, always making it’s way back to his fight with Chewie earlier in the day and the words that had been thrown around. Yesterday he had thought he wasn’t doing anything wrong and that Rey had enjoyed being with him but now he was far less sure. He was distracted from his musings however by the sound of footsteps on the path.

Turning around he saw Rey standing by his bench and quickly shut his laptop. She had a black splint around one of her wrists, the colour at odds with her floaty blouse and skirt. Swinging his legs off the seat from where he had been resting them Ben shuffled up, hoping she understood his silent request.

Rey sat down next to him, tucking her legs up underneath her skirt and resting her chin on her knees. They sat quietly together for a while as she watched the waves and Ben counted the bumps of her spine he could see through her blouse.

“How was the hospital?” He asked after a while, curious to know why she had a splint now when she had seemed fine before.

“Alright. They said my wrist healed funny so they had to fix it.” She said softly, wrapping her arms around her legs. Ben’s stomach churned up at the thought of her having a broken wrist and no one to help it heal properly. It was sick.

“Is it ok now?”

“I think it will be in a couple weeks.”

Rey let go of her legs to reach into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out the rock she had picked up that morning.

“Look.” She said quietly and ran a finger down the rock. There was a thin line of white running all the way through it, perfectly dividing the rock into two halves.

She smiled at her rock some more before sliding it back into her skirt and turning her attention back to the waves. Ben felt words burning at the back of his throat, his fight with Chewie rolling around in his head.

“Look Rey,” Ben began, facing her properly. He wasn’t speaking as gently as he normally did with her, desperate for her to understand his sincerity. “I’m so sorry, if I made you uncomfortable yesterday. If I overstepped.”

Her eyes widen and filled up with distress and her immediately rested her little hand on his knee.

“You didn’t, please don’t think that.” She begged and Ben felt even more guilty than he had before. He might not have made her feel uncomfortable then but he was distressing her now. Without thinking Ben put his hand over hers, his fingers covering hers up completely.

“I just, don’t ever want to upset you,” Ben paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts that had been scattered by holding her hand, “I thought this morning, when you weren’t around, that I might’ve of scared you.”

“You haven’t. Please don’t think that this morning was because of you.”

Ben looked up from their hands and stared at Rey, trying to calm her down with his eyes. He squeezed her hand lightly and watched as she began to relax, her eyes becoming less distressed and her face relaxing. Carefully he let go out her hand and straightaway missed her warmth when she wrapped her arms around herself again.

They both turned to look ahead at the sea again and Ben inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t upset because of him and she wasn’t now.

“What did happen this morning?” He asked after a few minutes, glancing at her briefly when he spoke.

“I had too many thoughts. I needed to go and think them outside.” Her wording was odd but Ben understood the sentiment.

As they sat beside each other in silence Ben thought about speaking but decided against it. It seemed like one of Rey’s quiet moments. It surprised him when she spoke up.

“What were you doing? Before I arrived?” She nodded at his laptop as she asked and Ben instantly decided to lie.

“Looking at a company. I have a job interview coming up and I wanted to know more about them.” He said smoothly, satisfied at his lie. Although he knew he would have to tell Rey about how closely he had followed her case this was not that time. He would tell her when she seemed more acclimatized.

“What kind of job?” Rey asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“Well, there’s this big company and they help to run lot’s of little charities, providing them with resources that they couldn’t afford on their own, like offices and stuff. I would help run their legal department.” Ben explained, hyper aware of how stupid he sounded and how messy his explanation was.

Rey smiled at him however as he finished talking, showing a flash of teeth for just a moment.

“I’m glad. That you’ve found something.” She said and her modest praise warmed Ben up inside.

Ben felt proud too, as she smiled at him. He had managed to make her happy.

-

Sometimes Cassian really hated Jyn. Her dedication, work ethic and attention to detail made her a brilliant detective but a nightmare to work alongside. They had been going for days, at all hours as Jyn pushed them to analyse every single item in the house where Rey had been held and Cassian was really wishing for a partner who wasn’t quite so insistent on them practically living at the station.

It was surprising really, the amount of things in a persons home. He had long ago given up looking through the boxes with the forensics team and was now checking in on the updates to the massive list of items Jyn was meticulously creating. Yet despite everything they had found, nothing was giving them a clue about where this guy was, or even why he had done this.

Just as Cassian was sliding down in his chair and considering just falling asleep here and now a paper coffee cup appeared in front of him and Jyn sat down in her chair across from him.

Of course she looked as good as always despite everything that was going on, all perfect eyeliner and immaculate clothes.

“You look like a zombie.” She said as she turned on her computer and sipped her own drink.

“Thanks. You don’t.” Cassian replied, scrolling through the massive lists of book they had compiled to make it seem like he was working.

“Anything happened over here? It’s a madhouse down at forensics.”

“No, nothing. All I’ve got is that he seems to have every book ever written and none of them are about kidnapping or crimes.”

“They’re still working on emptying the house and sending it over. There’ll be more by the end of the day.”

“Is it too much to hope that one has his name written in it?” Cassian asked as he cast his eyes over the list of items they had taken from the basement.

“Probably.” Jyn replied, typing away at something. Cassian briefly wondered why he was more senior than her, she seemed far better at all of this than him.  
He was staring at the list of Rey’s belongings when an idea came to him.

“Do you think she’ll want any of these things back? The dolls she made of her parents and stuff?” He asked, not taking his eyes off his screen.  
Jyn sat back in her chair and stared at him for a moment. Cassian could hear her turning the idea over in her head.

“I mean, we could ask the next time we see her?” She was quiet for a moment. “I wouldn’t want my stuff back though, if it was me.”

Her voice was smaller than normal and it caused Cassian to look up, Jyn’s tough exterior dropped for just a bit, her vulnerability peeking through. It reminded him that she was a good couple of years younger than him.

Neither of them spoke for a while. It was easy to get lost in the work and forget that ultimately there was a person at the heart of this who was just as complex as they were, not just a victim whose crime they were trying to solve.

Cassian coughed and sat up straighter in his chair, trying to clear the air.

“Well, I pity the creep that tries to kidnap you.” He said jokingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jyn replied with narrow eyes and a smile she was trying to keep off her face.

“Oh y’know.” Cassian said lightly, waving his hand airily.

Before she could reply with what Cassian knew would be a witty comment Bodhi Rook appeared, flushed and nervous.

“Detective Erso?” He asked, ignoring Cassian’s death stare and keeping his eyes firmly on Jyn. Of course he would show up right when they were having an actual conversation.

“Has something happened?” Jyn sat up straighter in her chair, clearly taking in Bodhi’s appearance.

“Yeah. The forensics team found something in on of his books. They want you guys to come and see.” He said, looking between the two detectives.

They both leapt up from their chairs, not even bothering to turn their computers off and Jyn gestured for Bodhi to lead the way. Cassian could feel his heart rate creeping up as they got closer to the lab, the excitement of what could be an actual lead paired with apprehension. If it was anything useful, like the guys real name, then Bodhi would’ve probably told them out right.

Technicians in suits ignored their arrival as they were lead to a table where a book sat on a plastic sheet. Pulling on a pair of gloves Jyn carefully picked it up and turned it over to look at it.

“Jane Eyre. Well read.” She said as she ran a finger down the spine.

Cassian turned his attention from the book to the nervously shifting intern, wondering why a copy of Jane Eyre was so important that they had to be dragged down here. He was distracted enough that he almost missed Jyn’s soft exclamation.

“Oh shit. Cassian look.” She said and Cassian immediately turned to look at the book, now open in Jyn’s hands.

He felt his eyes grow wide as he took in the very first page. It was a library book, taken out seven years ago and never returned.

There’s gonna be some expensive fees on that.” He muttered, not quite understanding the big deal.

“Cassian, look where it was taken from.” Jyn said and pointed at the library logo.

“Fuck.” A familiar faded blue logo of a castle accompanied the words Parkside Secondary School Library.

He immediately went into overdrive, his mind scrambling for explanations as to why a book from Rey’s school was sitting in this man’s house.

“Did she have it on her the day she was taken? And he kept it like her uniform?” He asked, looking at Jyn who was still focused on the book.

“Cassian look at the date.” She said and pointed at when it was last taken out. “Rey was kidnapped in March and this was taken out in May, two months later.”

“Jesus Christ.” Was all he could think to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Finn has unwelcome company over. 
> 
> i hope no one is turned off by the slow burn  
> but i personally am enjoying it  
> if u couldnt tell already, ben thinks too much  
> i hope u have a lovely day!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwelcome visit

Finn woke up far earlier than he normally did, stiflingly hot and unable to breathe. Although they had fallen asleep normally it seemed that in the night Poe had rolled on top of him and was now sleeping splayed out across Finn’s back and pinning him to the bed. It was a delicate operation, extracting himself from underneath him without waking him up and when Finn finally managed to be free of Poe’s grasp on the other side of the bed there was no way of going back to sleep. Despite the ungodly hour Finn was most definitely awake now.

As he stepped out into the hallway in search of either breakfast or a shower Finn frowned. Down the hall he saw Rey slip out of Ben’s room wrapped up in a blanket and head into the bathroom opposite. Finn felt stuck to the floor as the door shut behind her, unsure of what he had witnessed. 

Finn had no desire however to relive the fight between Chewie and Ben and decided to ignore Rey sleeping in Ben’s room, at least not until he had asked one of them about it. For all Ben had done Finn knew it would nothing like Chewie would assume, he wouldn’t do something like that. 

He only became more sure of this decision when he entered the kitchen and was greeted with the sight of Chewie crushing his phone in his fist and looking like he would kill someone.

“Everything ok?” Finn asked warily, wondering if it was safe to walk past him to get to the fridge.

“Fucking police. Apparently they have to come here and ask some questions, like we aren’t trying to get away from all of that.”

Finn didn’t point out that they were trying to get away from the press not the police and went to get the milk.

-

It only occurred to Finn as he opened the door to let the detectives in later that morning that they would be different from the ones who had be assigned to the case all those years ago. As he took in the young man and woman standing on Luke’s doorstep he wasn’t sure if that comforted him or not. 

Before he could greet them or let them introduce themselves though Chewie appeared behind him and swept them into the house and his bedroom, where they would apparently be setting up their equipment for the interview. 

He was just about to walk away and tell Rey they were here when the male detective spoke up in an accented voice that surprised Finn somewhat.

“Actually, we were hoping to speak to Mr Solo here, not Rey.” He said and nodded at Finn.

His request took both Finn and Chewie aback for a moment and they shared a nervous glance before Finn shrugged.

“Sure.” Was all Finn could think to say and followed them into the bedroom, sitting as instructed in front of the camera being set up.

“I’m Detective Inspector Cassian Andor, this is my partner Detective Sergeant Jyn Erso,” the detective said while his partner pulled out a tape recorder and put it on the bedside table. “We’d like to ask you a couple questions to help us in this investigation.”

When Finn nodded at them both detectives settled in the two armchairs Luke had given Maz and Chewie, somehow moved into position without Finn noticing.

“Interview commencing at 10:16 am. Present in the room Detective Inspector Andor, Detective sergeant Erso and Finn Solo.”

“Mr. Solo,” Detective Erso began, leaning forward and opening a note pad. Finn had learnt in through endless police interviews that one detective often did most of the talking while the other watched. Clearly Andor, for all his introductions, was not the people person in this duo. “We have reason to believe that Mark, the man who kidnapped Rey, was connected to your school in some way. Maybe he worked there, maybe he had a child who went there, we don’t.”

“That man worked at school?” Finn interrupted, feeling sick.

“We don’t know yet. We’d like to ask you a couple questions, to see if we can find out.” She continued. 

“Sure.” Finn said. There was something in this woman’s voice that was setting him on edge slightly.

“Can you just tell us what happened on the day Rey was kidnapped? From your perspective.”

Finn sighed, sitting forward in his chair as he prepared to talk about what happened. He had already done it a hundred times by now, what did another one matter.

“It was just a normal school day. We walked to school together but didn’t walk back together because I had football practice, so she went home alone. But she never got home.” He said, unwilling to keep talking. Even years later it was hard to recount those first few hours, the fear and dread that he eventually became numb to but t that point were foreign and overwhelming.

“What lessons did you have that day? How did you spend your free time?” 

Finn had to pause to think of his answers, trying to recall the details of the day that weren’t normally enquired about.

“We had physics, maths, RS and English literature. Spent lunch outside just chatting. It was sunny.” He smiled as he recalled the nice weather and fuzzy feelings of laughing and joking with each other.

At the mention of the lessons the detective perked up slightly and she leaned forward as she spoke.

“Do you remember what you were studying in English literature?”

“Uh, Animal Farm I think. Or maybe Shakespeare.”

“Not Jane Eyre?” Detective Andor said suddenly from his seat behind the camera. 

“No. Jane Eyre was a Year 11 text, not a Year 10 one. We did it the year after Rey was taken.”

“Were there any teachers or members of staff that Rey particularly liked? Whose lessons she enjoyed or who were especially helpful to her?”

“Not really. Everyone liked her but she wasn’t one of those students that liked, sucked up to the teachers or anything.”

“Did Rey ever mention someone to you, a boyfriend or maybe just an older man she knew, to you? Someone she was involved with?” The first detective said, keeping her voice perfectly even and infuriating Finn.

“Involved, you mean like… huh.” Finn scoffed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Care in the community this is.” He eyed both of them carefully and took in their perfectly serious expressions. 

“Look, Rey had barely even kissed a boy. If you think she would do something like that, you’re way off the mark.” 

A heavy silence filled the bedroom as Finn and the detectives stared each other down. He was fuming, absolutely disgusted that they would suggest something like that about Rey. She was shy, only really friends with him and a few classmates, far more content to play sports and do her science homework than talk to boys. 

It was the female detective that broke first, turning back to look at her colleague who simply nodded at her without taking his eyes off Finn. 

“Thank you, Mr. Solo. That was all we wanted to ask.” 

Finn took that as his dismissal and leapt up from the bed, making sure to throw the door open loudly and slam it behind him as he left the room. He didn’t want them to doubt his anger for a moment. Leaning back against the door he paused for a moment as he tried to calm down and reason with himself. They were police, they had to ask every question, no matter how wrong they were.

Walking back into the living room Finn only caught a glimpse of everyone sitting around before Poe threw himself on him in a characteristically dramatic fashion. 

“Are you ok? What happened?” He asked, holding Finn’s hands.

Finn just shook his head instead of answering and detached himself from Poe, sinking onto the sofa and holding his head in his hands. His mind was reeling, every thought being scattered by the idea that that man might’ve worked at their school. Might’ve chosen Rey specifically. He didn’t look up as Poe walked back over to him but did sink into his touch when he put his hands on Finn’s shoulders.

After a few steadying breaths Finn looked up and was immediately met with everyone’s worried expressions from where they sat around the room. He was drawn to Rey’s wide eyes, massive in her little face watching him from her seat next to Ben.

“They said, that man worked at school.” Finn said through gritted teeth.

Rey lowered the comic she had been reading onto her lap and frowned as he said this. From his place next to Rey on the little sofa in the corner Ben seemed to grow twice as large, his hands gripping his phone more tightly.

“How do they know that?” Chewie asked from the other side of the room, his voice and eyes hard.

“They didn’t say. Just asked a some questions.” Finn didn’t say what kind of questions they had asked.

As they sat in shocked silence a little voice in the darkest corner of Finn’s mind spoke up. It came from the place where the worst thoughts came, his fears about Poe leaving him, his parents giving him up if he wasn’t perfect, Rey being taken away again. It told him to ask her if she knew this Mark before, if she had been involved with him like the police had suggested.

He turned away from Chewie to take in Rey’s shell shocked face and felt the sickness that had been fading from him rise up again. She had never been able to keep a secret, not from him. Even though she didn’t know everything about him when they were 14 he knew everything about her. There was no way she would’ve kept something like that quiet.

“Rey?” At the sound of the female detectives voice Finn immediately sat up straight, trying to focus on the gentle pressure of Poe’s hands instead of his urge to swing this woman’s jaw. “Can we ask you a few questions? It won’t take long.”

After a quick glance at her father and a deep breath Rey carefully set her comic book down and followed the detective out of the room. Finn listened to the sound of the detective’s boots and Rey’s bare feet fade away, not letting out the breath he was holding until her heard the door to the bedroom shut behind them. 

Turning his head Finn reached for Poe’s hand that was resting on his shoulder and kissed it gently, endlessly gratefully for his support. 

-

Ben frowned as Rey walked out to be interviewed alone. It didn’t sit right with him and he abandoned consideration of Finn’s bombshell to eye up Rey’s parents.

“Does she always do her interviews alone?” He asked, his question clearly catching Maz and Chewie off guard who stared at him blankly for a moment before answering. 

“Uh, yeah. She said she’s not very comfortable with us being with her.”

“Even the very first ones, she did them alone too? The police didn’t offer anyone to be with her?”

“No. She does them alone.” Maz said and Ben noticed the worry that had crept into her voice. “Why, what’s wrong with that.”

“Nothing.” Ben quickly said, knowing his speculations wouldn’t help calm anyone down, not when they already had to deal with what Finn had said. 

Ben glanced down at his phone and sighed, too distracted now to focus on finding an interview time for this job. He got up from the sofa he had been sharing with Rey, trying not to disrupt her comic book that she had carefully laid out at the page she was on and left the room. Standing out in the corridor for a moment he glanced down the hallway to where Rey was currently talking to the police alone before setting off to his room to grab a jacket, a vague idea about going to the beach alone forming in his head.

He went out through the front door, not wanting to see anyone and knowing they would be discussing the idea that the kidnapper worked at Rey’s school. Frankly, Ben didn’t want to be part of that discussion, the idea made him too angry for him to dwell on it. 

For a moment, as he stood on the beach Ben regretted how he had been too angry to appreciate the time had spent at Luke’s when he was younger. It really was beautiful. 

His regret was short lived however as other thoughts quickly took over his mind. It really didn’t sit right with him that Rey was doing all her interviews alone. If her case went to court it would be so easy for the kidnapper’s lawyers to say that none of her testimonies should be believed because the police could easily have manipulated her. A trauma victim having to discuss her trauma alone with the detectives desperately trying to solve her case could easily be dismissed.  
At least that’s what Ben would argue if he was having to defend her kidnapper.

For all he had wanted to avoid thinking about it Finn’s news also stuck in his head. As much as he hated to admit it Ben didn’t really find it shocking. It almost made sense in a sick way, that this guy would’ve known Rey before he took her, might even have chosen her specifically. 

Ben sunk down onto the beach and stared out at the sea. He didn’t know how long he sat there on the shingle, watching the tide go out slowly, only rousing from his thoughts at the sound of someone approaching him, their footsteps loud on the rocks.

Looking up Ben wasn’t surprised to see Rey standing near him, hugging herself and looking at the horizon with a faraway expression. She was wrapped up in her cardigan against the wind that was blowing her hair about. She looked beautiful, even when she seemed sad. 

“Are you ok?” He asked bluntly, curious as to why she was down here when no one else was. 

“Don’t know. Can I sit with you?” Rey said and Ben nodded, smiling as she joined him on the shingle.

It was familiar now, sitting next to Rey staring off into the distance and enjoying the quiet together. It calmed him down, allowed him to think clearly. He shuffled his foot around, moving the rocks as he tried to think of something to say but everything he thought of seemed a bit stupid. 

“Tell me something.” Rey said suddenly, her voice gentle. Ben frowned at her request, unsure of what to say.

“What do you mean?” 

“Just, tell me something, about you.”

Ben had to think long and hard for something to say. Everything that came to mind was either dreadfully boring or incredibly fucked up and nothing he wanted her to know. 

“There used to be some out-buildings by Luke’s house. Last time I was here I got so angry I burnt them down.” He admitted, not proud of his actions. 

Surprisingly Rey chuckled, looking back at Luke’s house as she pictured the sight.

“What were you angry about?” She asked, making Ben think again. It was hard to answer, he hadn’t really thought about it in so long.

“Everything I guess. Everything and nothing.” He answered honestly. “Tell me something about you.” Ben asked. 

“I once tried to make pineapple upside down cake, but I forgot to put the pineapple at the bottom. So when I baked it they all burnt really quickly because of the sugar and it wasn’t edible.” Rey said, smiling at the memory. It was the most Ben had ever heard her talk.

Sitting here together everything seemed so remote, separate from the rest of the world, Ben thought as he looked up at the sea again. Anything they said would be taken away by the tide. 

“I used to think it was just bad luck, him taking me. If he worked at school it can’t have been, can it?” Rey said suddenly, far more to herself than to him.

Ben didn’t know how to reply. He simply let the question hang in the air, hoping for the tide to take it away from them and waiting for Rey to stop fiddling with the edge of her cardigan before speaking.

“Did they confirm it then? That he worked there?”

“No. They just said that they thought he was connected to school, but they didn’t say how they knew.”

Ben nodded to himself and let them slip back into silence. Maybe one day he would work on them having proper conversations but not today. Today he simply watched the sun climb higher in the sun until it was overhead and his stomach was rumbling. 

Getting up Ben reached down for Rey’s hand, smiling at the way her chilly little fingers fitted so nicely against his own as he helped her up. He didn’t let go of her hand either as they walked back to Luke’s house and relished at the way she seemed to cling to him just as much as he was clinging to her. It made him feel like a bashful teenager, holding hands with a girl for the first time. 

He only dropped her hand when they reached the back door and Ben immediately felt the loss, watching sadly as she walked into the house and away from him. It was ridiculous and he chastised himself for feeling that way. He had no right to hold her hand in the first place, he shouldn’t be looking for ways to touch her. Not after what she had been through and definitely not after the things he had said about her. The things she still didn’t know about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Rey reads a newspaper
> 
> bit more police action and some reylo (i underestimated how much of a slow burn this would b)  
> year 10 is the equivalent of freshman year and year 11 is sophomore year and year 11 is the last year of formal compulsory education  
> RS stands for religious studies and is a compulsory subject u have to do for GCSE


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun family day out  
> TW- mention of past rape (see notes at bottom for more details)

Hell, Ben decided, was having to listen to Chewie and Leia bicker endlessly, over every little thing. He didn’t know what had brought this about but they were no longer capable of agreeing on anything, no matter how unimportant. Ben was sure that their fighting made time slow down and that although they had only been at Luke’s for a few days it had probably actually been a couple months. Maybe even years.

The current reason for their fighting was Leia’s endless desire to do things. Someone she had seemed to miss the fact that they were here to avoid people and press not actually on a little beach holiday and was currently trying to organize a day trip to a local seaside town so they could look around and go out for lunch. 

Ben had already opted out of the trip to stay at home, claiming he needed to around so this company could contact him but really that had been long sorted out and he just didn’t want to come. While younger Ben would’ve just said he didn’t want to be with his family older Ben had learnt that saying things like that tended to hurt his mother’s feelings.

“It would be good for her, to get out and see things again!” Leia argued, leaning across the breakfast table to get closer to Chewie. 

“No it won’t. It’ll overwhelm her and send her spiraling. She’s already struggling with just this many people.” Chewie retorted and Ben slumped in his chair, over the whole debacle.

Their argument had ended up where they always did; back on Rey and it angered Ben that she was once again missing from the discussion. Not that he wanted to her to hear all the arguing, it was just so infantalising, the way they seemed to remove her from every important conversation. 

“She’s doing really well Chewie, just ask her, see if she’ll come.” Leia pleaded.

“Look, just ask her. This is ridiculous.” Poe said having visibly run out of patience with this whole feud.

“No point.” Ben finally spoke up, ready to hit someone just for getting on his nerves. 

“Why can’t we ask her?” Chewie said, feigning politeness. Ben knew him well enough to know that even if he backed Chewie up Rey’s father would still find fault with him. 

“You’re all famous. Everyone knows you as the parents of Rey Kanata. You go out with her people will work out who she is and then everyone will know. Unless you want that to happen.” He explained, still making sure to throw an insult in for good measure.

Both Leia and Chewie looked chastened and fell silent for a moment as everyone did their best not to look at Ben. Sighing he heaved himself up from his chair and left the kitchen, mug of coffee in one massive hand and phone in the other. Another lesson older Ben had learnt was that when he ruined the mood it was probably best for him to leave, even if he had been justified in doing so. 

Shutting the door behind him he made his way back to his room almost throwing coffee all over himself when he saw Rey silently leaning on the doorframe and watching him. He was distracted for a single second by the sight of her long legs emerging from her t shirt and he found himself wondering why she didn’t wear pajamas. Rey didn’t notice his eyes wondering for a moment as she stared down the hallway.

“Are they still fighting?” She asked and Ben blanked for a moment.

“Uh, no, I think they’re done. I didn’t know you’d noticed.” He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly as he spoke.

Rey huffed slightly and looked up at Ben, her intense gaze making him blush.

“It’s hard to miss.” She said and Ben kicked himself for his stupidity. Of course she had worked out was had been going on. He thought back to what Finn had said, about Rey looking far away but still being present. 

“I guess you notice a lot more than people think.” He mumbled, half to himself.

“Yeah, maybe.” Rey replied, looking at Ben with a frown.

“Why don’t you speak more? Most of the time they’re all trying to make decisions for you.”

Rey simply shrugged her narrow shoulders. “I don’t really care.” She said, a little frown on her face and an odd look in her eyes. 

Before he could try and untangle the strange expression on her face she walked off to the kitchen and left him standing there.

It turned out that Ben’s argument about making Rey stay home wasn’t even needed; she didn’t want to go out. The bigger question turned out to be who would stay at home with her. Ben knew Chewie would rather die than leave Ben alone with Rey but he was somewhat surprised to hear that he was fine with Luke staying back as well. He suspected that deep down Chewie and Maz were getting a bit sick of being holed up in the house with everyone else and that they were rather keen on getting out and about for a while. 

A part of him was rather amused when he watched them leave. Chewie and Maz were acting as though they were heading off to war and would never see Rey again, but Ben could understand why they were like that. Rey’s early morning disappearance still hung over both of them. Frankly, Ben was slightly amazed that they were going out at all.

Ben drifted about Luke’s house after they had all gone out. Rey was tucked away in her room and he knew Luke was meditating down at the bottom of his garden. He poked about through Luke’s things and his mind inevitably drifted to his apartment. It had never looked like this even though he had lived there for years, the furniture had all come with the place and he had never really decorated. It was impersonal and cold, a perfect reflection of his life at that time, purely place where he ate and slept and raged against the world. Here there was evidence of a life lived, things Luke had found or made, old books about his odd religion or pictures of his parents, Luke and Chewie when they were young and daring. 

He wondered if he could make himself a home like this but dismissed the idea. He didn’t have passions or any idea of what his taste was and wouldn’t be able to do it.  
Pulling a book from the shelf flipped through it, snorting at the descriptions of ‘the force’ he read. An energy connecting all things, flowing between them that only certain people could understand and become connected to was not something Ben believed in. Against his better judgement he began to become engrossed in the book, so much so that he missed the sound of the back door opening behind him. Luke clearing his throat awkwardly caused him to snap the book shut and whip round to face him, feeling caught in some kind of compromising situation.

“Hey, uh, I’m going out for a bit.” Luke said gesturing vaguely behind him, still in the robes he wore to meditate. “I’ll probably be gone for a while, so y’know. You’re in charge.” 

Luke didn’t wait for a reply, just nodded at Ben and walked back out again, leaving Ben blinking rapidly. He stood there holding the book for a long while, just thinking. Luke had been nothing but cordial to him this whole time, despite their past, and although they weren’t on the best of terms he wasn’t being as openly hostile to him as Chewie was. 

Ben walked back to him bedroom with his book pondering Luke’s behavior. Maybe enough time had passed for him to get over it all and it was now water under the bridge. No matter the reason Ben was glad that Luke didn’t hate him as much, after all there had after all been a time he had hero worshipped his uncle. 

-

The book on the force must’ve turned out to not be as interesting on further inspection because the next things Ben was really aware of was waking up suddenly on his bed, book lying on his chest and music coming from beyond his open door. Rubbing his eyes he tried to work out where the music was coming from. 

As he walked blearily out into the hallway the sounds of some soft folk song became stronger and Ben realised it was coming from the kitchen. He could only see a little bit of the room through the doorway but he could easily recognise the sight of Rey in that floral dress she seemed to like so much poking about through the cupboards. 

He paused in the doorway and leaned on the frame, watching her as she cooked, trying to work out what she was making. The song changed and Rey turned around, squeaking loudly and dropping the pepper in her hand onto the floor in surprise. Ben immediately stepped forward to pick it where it had rolled close to him.

“I didn’t know you were awake. I’m so sorry.” Rey said hurriedly, taking the pepper from him with slightly shaky fingers. 

“Hey, it’s fine. I’m sorry for scaring you.” Ben reassured her, disliking the way she was looking at him with fearful eyes. 

They stared at each other for a second, caught in that awkward moment where neither person knows what to say to the other. Eventually Rey gestured to the devastated kitchen behind her and spoke up.

“Do you, do you want lunch?” 

As he squinted Ben could clearly make out the method to Rey’s madness. She had somehow managed to use every utensil Luke owned and covered every surface of counter with bits of food but he could see a bowl with salad in it, a pile of chopped peppers and a saucepan with food cooking.

“Uh, sure. What are you making?” He asked, inspecting the frying pan.

“It’s this salad thing. With some sausages Luke had.” She replied, returning to the cutting board with her onion. 

Ben smiled at her even though she was focused on the knife in her hand and moved his inspection to the rest of the chaos she had caused. 

“What’s with all the mess?” Ben said, knowing he would never be able to focus on his cooking if he was surrounded by all this mess. 

“I like being messy when I cook.” Rey said, her voice sounding somewhat unsure.

“Why?” He chuckled as he stared to gather abandoned knives into the dishwasher as she added her pepper mountain to the bowl.

“So I can clear up after.” Rey shrugged and produced some herbs from nowhere. 

It seemed a fair enough justification for causing this much havoc and Ben wondered if he should stop clearing up. But Rey said nothing so he simply continued to clear counter tops, adding things to the compost of the pile of dishes to be washed. 

They ate together in silence, sitting on the step just outside the patio doors and watching the sea. It turned out Rey was really good and cooking and Ben ended up eating bowl after bowl of her salad until it was gone.

“What were you reading?” She asked as she picked at her serving, surprising Ben with how much she had eaten.

“Just one of Luke’s books about the force. It wasn’t pretty dull.”

“Dull enough to put you to sleep?” Rey teased and Ben couldn’t help the blush that crept up his ears. 

“You saw that?” Something about the idea of Rey seeing him asleep was intriguing to him. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

“Yeah, sorry. I was wondering if you had gone out with Luke.”

Ben knew Rey didn’t know his and Luke’s history but scoffed disbelievingly at her statement none the less. 

“Me and Luke aren’t exactly on good enough terms to go on walks together. He went out alone.”

If Rey noticed the bitter edge to his voice she didn’t say anything, simply picked up his empty bowl and took it back into the house. He considered following her but as he heard her return to her bedroom he decided against it. Eating lunch with him was clearly enough for Rey and Ben understood to stay away from her for a while.  
He ended up on Luke’s sofa watching something on his equally huge TV and wondered when the others would get back.

-

It had been decidedly unrelaxing to go out for the day without Rey Chewie felt. Sure, he had wanted to go out and about and to enjoy time with the rest of his family, especially Finn who he very much considered his son after all these years, but with Rey still at Luke’s he couldn’t enjoy it properly.

Maybe after some more time had passed he would able to be away from her for more than an hour at a time. Maybe after a decade or two. 

Wordlessly him and Maz wandered down to Rey’s bedroom instead of following the others into the house, both knowing they had to check on her first. They found Rey lying on the ground with her feet up on her bed, reading one of Luke’s books and listening to something on her phone. At seeing them lurking there she leapt up smiling and hugged them, Chewie resisting the urge to just crush her to him. 

“Did you miss us then?” Maz said lightly but he recognised the true weight behind her words. 

“Perhaps.” Rey replied and went to turn her music off. She sat down on her bed and bounced up and down for a moment, her hands tucked underneath her thighs. 

“Where did you go?” She asked keenly.

Maz moved to sit next to her as Chewie leaned on the chest of drawers opposite them, careful not to move any of Rey’s things about. 

“We went to this lovely little seaside town. Walked around the harbour, saw the art galleries, went out to lunch. Nothing really exciting.” 

At her words Rey’s face fell a tiny bit and Chewie stood up straighter, wanting her excited little smile back.

“We saw a witch.” He said and was immediately rewarded with Rey’s eyes growing larger and Maz’s chuckle.

“She wasn’t a witch. She just had this incredible black dress on and a cape.” Rey’s eyes darted between them as they spoke, obviously seeing through their faked quarrel.

“Exactly. A witch. I’m pretty sure she had a cat tucked underneath her skirt somewhere.” He said emphatically, remembering the old woman’s endless skirts. 

“What about you? What’ve you done today?” Maz asked brightly, patting Rey’s thigh.

“Not much. Ben and I made lunch together.” She replied, smiling widely at them.

At her words Chewie tensed and Maz eyed him warily. He glanced out of Rey’s bedroom before sighing and moving to close her door. He settled down on the bed the other side of Rey and wished her hadn’t hidden her hands away, very much wishing she could hold one of them right now. 

“Rey honey, do you remember what we told you about Ben?” He asked gently, trying and failing to not sound patronizing. Talking to her about important things was a fine line he hadn’t quite got the hang of yet, it was so difficult sometimes to see beyond the fourteen year old she had once been.

Rey instantly bristled and Chewie fought the urge not to backtrack and reassure her; he wanted them to get through this once and for all.

“What about Ben?” She asked, first to him and then to Maz.

“We talked to you about somethings he said to us, why we don’t like you spending time with him.” Out of the corner of his eye Chewie noticed Maz’s facial expression change and he wondered briefly if her stance on Ben was no longer the same as his.

“What things?” Rey said, her voice getting harder.

Chewie paused, unwilling to go on. He had no idea what it would do to her to her what Ben had said about her again. She had hardly registered it last time he told her, focusing on other things. 

His silence was misjudged however and he looked up from where he had been staring at Maz’s knee at the sound of Rey’s sigh. His eyes went wide as she got up from the bed angrily and turned to face them.

“I wish you wouldn’t do this.” She said softly but still staring them down.

“Do, do what?” Maz said, unconsciously reaching out for Rey.

“Treat me like a child. I do know what goes on around here.” 

Each of her words cut into Chewie. He had been so hoping she was oblivious, tucked away in whatever world she had in her head and missing everything that wasn’t’ beautiful. He opened his mouth and shut it several times, trying to find the right words to calm her. Maz beat her to it of course and spoke for both of them.

“Rey, please. It’s just, it’s hard for us. Not to see you as a child anymore.” She said honestly but her statement only seemed to anger Rey further. 

“I’m not a child anymore. You can’t tell me who I can’t spend time with!” Rey’s voice was somehow still soft, but she sounded endlessly firm. Chewie could feel himself getting angry anyway, hating the way she made it sound like they were controlling her not looking out for her.

“You’re our child Rey. We can if we don’t think it’s right!” He had far less control over his voice than her and it started to get louder.

“I’m not a child.” She said firmly and looked first Maz then him dead in the eye. “I’ve had sex.” She said and turned around, slamming the door behind her as she left the room. 

They sat in silent shock together as both process Rey’s words. Chewie heard them ringing in his head over and over again, the way she had thrown something so horrid at them so easily, as if it didn’t affect her hurting him just as much as the confirmation of what had happened to her. He was about to move, desperate to find the man who had done that to Rey and kill him, when he heard Maz sob beside him. Without looking he reached across the space Rey had left and bundled her to him, feeling the way she shook with the strength of her sobs. 

He leant back across the width of the bed, his head resting on the wall and tucked her against him, no words passing between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- Rey mentions having had sex with her captor in a situation where she cannot consent.  
> Next Chapter- Jyn and Cassian pack some things up.
> 
> sorry for the longer gap between chapter i accidentally started writing another fic  
> this will still be my man focus tho- i just need to write something with declarations of love and weddings  
> hope u enjoyed this even with the heavier ending


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben seems something he does not like.

Ben was falling asleep listening to his father’s detailed description of a classic car they saw while they were out when the door to the living room opened slowly. He sat up straighter as Rey stepped into the room and turned around to shut the door, pausing for a moment with her head resting on the wood. Her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath and Ben resisted the urge to rise from his seat and go to comfort her. He didn’t want to scare her, not when he didn’t know what had caused her to appear so suddenly but as he watched her shoulders shake slightly in time with her deep breathes.

Abruptly she turned to face the room, her eyes growing wide and panicked at the sight of everyone sitting around watching her. Ben felt his heart drop into his feet as he took her in, horrified by the pallor of her skin and the way her chest was starting to heave. 

“Rey? Are you ok, dear?” Leia said kindly, getting up from her seat to approach Rey, her hand extended like she was trying to coax an animal towards her.

Rey’s eyes flicked down to her hand and then back up, sweeping over the room before fixing on the open door.

“I’m sorry.” She said hurriedly as she pushed past Leia, walking faster until she was running out of the room and down the garden path.

Ben watched in horror, his mind racing as she left his sight. He rose from his chair, prepared to follow her blindly when he noticed the muffled sobs coming from somewhere else in the house. The screams that accompanied them froze him in place, torn between finding Rey or seeking the source of the sobbing. Desperately he looked to his father with his eyebrows raised. Han simply nodded at him and Ben took off, rushing down the path and praying Rey hadn’t gone far. 

The gravel threatened to make Ben slip several times as he raced out of Luke’s garden, looking around the cliff paths for any sign of Rey rather than his feet. He almost broke the garden gate as he flung it open and shut it violently behind him.

As he stepped out onto the cliff path he caught sight of a small, blue figure pacing up and down the beach. Ben let out a small sigh of relief when he saw her, able to pay far more attention to his footsteps as he walked down the steps to the beach.

His relief was short lived however as he approached her. Rey was gripping her head in her hands and muttering to herself, her little feet struggling to find purchase in the shingle. Cautiously Ben approached her, terrified of her current state.

“Rey?” He said quietly, his voice not getting through to wherever she had gone. A few more steps took him closer to her and he spoke up more loudly.

“Rey? Are you ok?”

Rey’s head whipped up and he recoiled slightly at her expression. Her eyes were unfocused and full of tears as her knuckles turned white, tugging at her hair. They stared at each other for an agonizing moment before Rey turned around and began her furious pacing, walking away from Ben and talking to herself again.

“Rey?” Ben asked fearfully. He didn’t know what to do, whether he ought to try and calm her down and run and fetch someone. Something told him not to leave her in this state but he had no clue how to help her, far too afraid of doing something wrong to act at all.

“Please!” Her voice cut through him, desperately begging him. She didn’t look up from the ground as she spoke. “Please, just go!”

She wasn’t even shouting, her voice was only slightly louder than normal but it made Ben flinch. He had turned around and started to leave her alone before he had even realised what he was doing, his mind stuck on how hysterical she sounded and the heaving breaths he could hear her taking. Walking back up the path Ben looked back with each step and was able to regain his equilibrium the further he got from her. He really shouldn’t leave her alone, not in her state. Who knew what she would do?

Without thinking Ben settled himself down on the cliff path, leaning against a grassy bank where he could watch Rey. At least until she settled down. As much as he hated to admit it to himself he wasn’t sure he would care so much if it were anybody else if his life panicking below him, but Ben had to face the fact he now cared more about her than anyone else.

-

Ben winced at how loudly the rocks crunched as he stepped on them as he tried to walk quietly up to Rey. She had long stopped pacing and had sat down on the beach to watch the sea. At first he had stayed on the cliff trying to give her space but it hadn’t taken Ben long to run out of patience and come down to see her.   
Rey’s head was resting on her knees but she looked up as Ben came near and sat down beside her, careful to put distance between them. They both sat in silence watching the waves before Rey spoke up first.

“I’m sorry. About telling you to go away.” She said softly and Ben cursed internally. It was what she had wanted, what she thought was best, not something to apologise for.

“What happened?” He asked gently. She had seemed so happy earlier, chaotically cooking and then eating lunch with him, not on the edge of whatever she had just experienced.

“It’s stupid.” She said, tapping her big toes together.

“I doubt that.” After all Rey had gone through any kind of panic was justified in Ben’s eyes. 

“I said something mean to my parents.” 

Ben blinked rapidly at hearing Rey’s answer. He couldn’t think her capable of being mean to anyone, let alone her loving parents. Some things just weren’t possible. 

“Why?” Ben asked without thinking and immediately wished he could take it back. Whatever reasons she had for being mean to Maz and Chewie was none of his business.

“They were being ridiculous.” Rey rested her head back down onto her knees as she spoke and Ben couldn’t help but smile to himself. He was glad he wasn’t the only one who thought Maz and Chewie could be a bit too much sometimes. 

Stretching his legs out in front of him Ben cracked his knuckles. He was itching to try skimming some stones but didn’t want to disturb the peace between them. Experience told him Rey liked long silences and would talk if left undisturbed for long enough.

“I hate them sometimes.” She said even more quietly then normal as if confiding some huge secret in Ben and he couldn’t help but be taken aback. In the short time he had been living with the three of them he had never seen anything except Rey loving and relying on her parents. 

“Your parents?” He asked, somewhat unable to believe this information. 

“Grown-ups.” Rey replied and Ben caught the faintest smile on her face. 

Ben couldn’t help but hope he wasn’t included in that group, for all he was over thirty he didn’t like to think of himself as grown-up. 

“Who are you counting as grown-ups?”

“Mum and Dad. Han and Leia. Uncle Luke.” There was something about Rey still calling Luke Uncle that made him chuckle. 

“Han hasn’t spoken to me since I got back. Not properly.” Rey said, the little smile having left her face and been replaced by something far more somber. 

Ben couldn’t help but hurt for her, Han had been close to Rey. Where Ben couldn’t play team sports or help fix cars Rey could do both of these things and would spend hours in the garage with Han, underneath a car chattering away about rugby or football. He would even pretend to care about netball for her sake. Ben was filled with the urge to get up and find his father, to push him against a wall and punch him for ignoring Rey. 

“Leia’s just as bad.” Rey continued, clearly dying to talk about this. “She’s so much all the time. It’s too much for me.”

“What about your parents?” Ben prompted, forgetting all about his own relationship with Chewie and Maz.

“They treat me like a child, telling me what to do and who to do it with. Telling me to not spend time with you.”

Rey’s gentle speech angered Ben. He had thought she didn’t know what he had said, that he would get to explain it to her in due time when they were closer. Now he realised they had already told her and taken that away from him in an attempt to control Rey’s life. No matter how well meant it was, Ben was still furious.

Slowly Ben clenched and unclenched his fists, willing himself to calm down and not go beat Rey’s parents up. It would be an especially bad look to hit Maz, she was half his size after all. 

As he calmed and waited for Rey to continue something dawned on Ben. He didn’t know how long Rey had known what he had said but she clearly knew now, and was still here, talking to him. His fears about her not wanting to know him if she found out seemed unfounded. 

Ben’s internal turmoil caused by her words didn’t affect Rey, who kept talking as though she hadn’t dropped that on him.

“Luke’s nice. He just doesn’t seem to care about anything I say.” Her words pulled Ben out from himself and made him snort suddenly, her description of Luke all too familiar.

“That’s Luke. He believes what he believes and doesn’t want to hear anything different.” Ben said, already beginning to calm down properly and enjoying this common ground. 

“Who else did you think I meant when I said grown-ups?” Rey asked after a while, looking up at Ben. Even sitting down he was significantly taller than her.

“I don’t know, all of us? Everyone here is an adult y’know.” Ben said. Even the four of them, the younger ones, were definitely over eighteen.

“I guess. I forget how old Finn is sometimes. And Poe. He seems younger than he is sometimes.” 

Ben frowned as he realised he didn’t actually know how old Poe was. He would’ve guessed he was Finn’s age but Rey’s wording made him doubt that. 

“How old is Poe?” He asked and hoped Rey didn’t think less of him for not knowing something so basic about his brother’s boyfriend.

“He’s thirty. Nearly the same as you.” She explained and Ben was taken aback. For all they had know each other for years he was surprised she knew his age.

“How do you know how old I am?” Ben asked automatically and Rey laughed at him. It was a tiny laugh but he still tucked it away inside him, where all her little smiles and waves lived. 

“We did grow up next door. You were Finn’s scary older brother.” She said. 

Ben didn’t push it any further, but he wanted to. The idea of her being scared of him when they were younger was not something he liked. 

Slowly but surely the air grew colder and Rey began to shiver. She had managed to put shoes on before running out but not any kind of jacket and so Ben offered his to her again, making sure that their hands didn’t touch when she took his hoodie. Today had been a bit of a rollercoaster for her and he was loathe to take things too far. 

Rey pulled his hoodie over her bent knees until she was a little back lump with just her head and feet poking out.

As the sun began to set on their left he knew that they would have to head back in. Really, it was impressive they had been left out here alone for so long without someone coming looking for them, but Ben knew that wouldn’t last if it got dark. One last question came to Ben however and he knew that he wanted to know the answer before heading back.

“Rey,” he began and she looked away from the sunset to him, her face open. “what did your parents tell you about me?” 

There were many things they could’ve said, from Ben’s old job to his teenage antics but he knew what really mattered to them. 

“That you told them I was dead.” Rey answered, no hint of upset in her voice. She was just saying it in her normal, quiet tone. 

“Do you hate me for that?” He sounded weak, needy, as he said it but Ben didn’t care. He got the feeling that she wouldn’t think him weak.

“No. Sometimes I thought I was too.”

Ben frowned and opened his mouth, wanting to know what that meant when his phone went off in his hoodie pocket. Rey fished it out and handed it to him, his phone looking so small in his hands and so massive in hers. Checking it he saw it was Finn telling him it was time for dinner and that they should come back in. 

He got to his feet and held his hand out to help Rey up, behaving more like a gentleman than he ever had before. Her hand was freezing cold despite having had it tucked away and he laced his warm fingers between hers, trying not to grip too tightly but still wanting to warm her up. He didn’t let go as they walked back up the steps and onto the path, only doing so as they got to the house.

It wasn’t until they were sitting down at the table that Ben realised she hadn’t taken his hoodie off and handed it to him like she had last time. Watching her roll the sleeves up to eat her pasta was another moment Ben added to his collection inside himself.

-

It transpired that Rey was not up to date with any current affairs and so watching the evening news for a little check-up turned into a long explanation of the current political climate, who any of the politicians were and what was generally going on. Rey yawned halfway through Chewie’s breakdown of the last general election though and it became obvious that these might be discussions for some other time. 

They ended up watching something as a whole family, surprising Ben who couldn’t remember anything like that happening on previous holidays. Rey wasn’t up to date with the latest superhero movies either so they watched one of those.

Ben had never seen any of those movies and was left utterly confused as to what was happening but enjoyed it all the same. It wasn’t particularly complicated but he liked the fights and it did turn out to be quite funny. It wasn’t engaging enough to distract him from Rey however who had ended up sitting between him and Finn, on the other side of the sofa from her parents who had most definitely noticed. 

His mind wondered several times during the film, sometimes onto his and Rey’s conversations over lunch and on the beach, sometimes onto the fact she was still wearing his hoodie and absolutely swimming in it.

The film ended surprisingly quickly, almost to Ben’s disappointment and he ended up lying in his bed trying to sleep far sooner than he normally did. Theirs wasn’t a family of people who went to sleep early but Rey had seemed exhausted by ten and despite the tension between them had been hurried off to bed by her parents. The atmosphere between everyone seemed off somewhat and Ben mused on that as he lay in bed.

Perhaps something had happened while he was out with Rey. Maybe Maz and Chewie had told people about what Rey had said.

Ben’s head was far too full of the days events to sleep unaided and he quickly retrieved one of Luke’s books about the force, hoping that he would drop off reading it again. Luck was clearly on Ben’s side that night as it quickly put him to sleep, his final waking thoughts centered around Rey in his hoodie and her cold fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Jyn and Cassian bring some presents for Rey.
> 
> sorry for dipping again i just didnt uhhhh write anything for a while  
> as u can tell i cant write events for shit. dialogue and inner turmoil only  
> hope this was ok!!


	32. Chapter 32

“I hate the countryside,” Cassian grumbled as he turned onto the lanes leading up to Luke Skywalker’s home, “Why would anyone choose to live out here?”

“Because it’s quiet and peaceful? What have you got against it?” Jyn asked, not looking up from the report in her hands. 

“There’s nothing here. I like the city and actually being near places.” Cassian explained and he couldn’t help but feel inexplicably annoyed at Jyn liking the countryside. 

“I grew up miles from anywhere. There’s a surprising amount going on in the country if you know where to look.” Jyn said and Cassian looked over at her for a moment. For all they had know each other for a couple of years she rarely spoke about her childhood.

“I doubt that.” Cassian turned onto an even more remote lane and the ground beneath them got even bumpier as they left civilization behind them.

“Do you not like the city then?” He asked after a while, aware that Jyn was engrossed in her report. 

“It’s alright, but I don’t want to be there forever. Maybe find some nice suburbs or a small town to settle down in one day.” She said patiently but lifted her report closer to her face.

Cassian grip on the steering wheel tightened minutely. He disliked all this talk from Jyn about settling down somewhere. He focused on avoiding potholes as Skywalker’s house eventually appeared on the skyline, the sea only just visible behind it. Jyn tucked her report away in a folder and pulled out a list as they approached it.

“Do we definitely have everything?” She asked, a crease appearing between her eyebrows.

“Definitely. Forensics could give it all up and I checked like three times.” Cassian said, parking in the lane behind a sports car he was incredibly jealous of. He quickly hopped out of the car and went to the boot, pulling out a cardboard box and carrying it with him. Sure, it wasn’t heavy but it wouldn’t have been polite of him to make Jyn carry it.

She skipped ahead with the folder and knocked on the door, admiring the bench the sat along the wall beside the door.

“Do you think the hermit man made that?” She asked him as he approached.

“Probably. Nothing else to do round here.” Cassian said as he shifted the box in his arms slightly, suddenly worried that they had forgotten something after all.

Their conversation was stopped just as it was beginning by the opening of the door. A massive man with dark hair stared at them and Cassian judged by his expensive black clothes that he was the owner of that car. After a moment of staring them down he stepped aside and Cassian was finally able to identify him as Ben Solo and someone they had yet to properly meet.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” Jyn said as she entered the house behind Solo, “we brought some things for Rey and to ask her a couple of questions.”

“We’re through here.” 

Cassian kicked the door shut behind him and left his shoes on as they walked into the house and through to the living room. They were met with death stares from Finn Solo, clearly not forgetting their last conversation and his partner. There was a map spread out on the table in front of them and they were showing Rey something on their laptop.

At the sound of their entrance Rey looked up at them, her eyes brightening at the sight of the box in Cassian’s arms.

“We brought you the things you asked for Rey. Forensics said that if you want anything else they can probably spare it.” Jyn explained as Rey took the box from Cassian, her arms straining as she took it nearer the sofa and set it on the ground.

“We had to keep your diaries though. They’re proving incredibly useful for our investigation.” Cassian warned, not wanting her to think they were withholding them from her for no reason. 

“Did you understand them?” Rey asked, sitting on the floor next to the box and beginning to open it up, Ben Solo squatting down behind her.

“Uh, yeah.” Cassian said, sharing a confused look with Jyn. Her diaries hadn’t been difficult reading, several notebooks filled with a mixture of mundane daily activities and thoughtful, eloquent expressions of emotions and opinions, sometimes with little pictures added onto pages.

“With the drawings? I forgot to explain it to you.” Rey elaborated and Cassian felt his heart drop somewhat. There was clearly something more to her writing.  
“What about the drawings?” Jyn asked.

“The little pictures at the bottom of the page. They’re about Mark.” 

“Rey, you didn’t mention Mark in your diaries.” Jyn said, confused but Cassian felt he knew where Rey was going with this.

“No, I mean the pictures are about him. Different pictures mean different things.” Rey’s attention was clearly split between the box of her things and their conversation. Cassian was loathe to keep her from her treasures but if those pictures turned out to be a record of things that were done to Rey then their job just became so much simpler. 

Jyn was about to push further but Cassian reached out, gently touching her wrist and nodding towards Rey who had obviously run out of patience and begun rummage through her things. They were going to ask her a couple of questions anyway, they could quiz her about this later. It would probably be best to have it recorded officially anyway. 

Rey didn’t take anything out of the box, simply looked through it and shut it again, seeming satisfied that she had all the things she asked for. From the sofa Finn and Poe had been unsubtly trying to see into the box, craning their necks to try and get a peak and Cassian was sure that Ben Solo had been able to get a good look from where he towered over Rey. 

“Do you, do you have anything you want to ask me? About it?” Rey asked, tucking her hands between her folded legs.

“Yes we do. We left our equipment here last time, is there anywhere we can set up again?” Cassian said, only just realising that none of the other member of the family seemed to be around. 

“Uh, yeah. We could go to my room.” Rey said getting up. She bent over to pick up her box but Ben Solo beat her to it, following behind her with it. Cassian wasn’t sure what the relationship between them was, his knowledge of the case would suggest some kind of family friend, not as close to her as Finn Solo was. Instead he seemed to be some kind of intense protector, ushering her from the press and now lurking behind her, looking ready to leap in front of her and protect her from any danger. Vaguely Cassian wondered if that was what he looked like when he insisted walking into crime scenes ahead of Jyn.

Ben put the box in the corner of the room, beside a rocking chair that Cassian assumed Skywalker had made but made no other move to leave the room, instead settling down into the chair, despite the fact that Rey seemed to expect him to. Jyn and Cassian shared an apprehensive glance but continued to set up their camera and pull out a recorder as Rey settled herself on the bed and cast the odd look at Solo watching the detectives silently. 

“Are you going to be staying?” Cassian asked, slightly uncomfortable in the presence of someone so silent. 

“Yes.” Solo said simply and Rey frowned. This was apparently something they hadn’t discussed but Rey’s frown only lasted a moment and she returned to placidly waiting for them to get going. 

The cocky, arrogant way he was leaning back in his chair immediately irritated Cassian. There was no reason for this random man to just be getting up in their business, this was their job and they were fucking good at it. He tried to think what Ben Solo’s job was but he couldn’t remember for the life of him. 

“Can we ask why?” Jyn asked. Cassian recognised the haughty tone to her voice that indicated her own irritation. 

“Because Rey shouldn’t be doing these interviews alone and you shouldn’t be making her.”

“Why shouldn’t she?” Cassian was growing more annoyed with this mans superiority and his questioning of them. They were good at what they did and he had no place to criticize them like this.

“Did I do something wrong?” Rey asked, her placid look quickly being replaced by something far more worried.

“No, no, not at all.” Solo said, clearly keen to calm any of Rey’s worries. “You just shouldn’t have been made to do these alone. Someone should be with you.”

“We haven’t made her do anything.” Jyn said. She sounded as offended as Cassian felt. They had not come here to be insulted by some random bloke.

“Yeah but you didn’t push for someone to be here. But I’m gonna be here now.”

“Tell us, Mr. Solo, why should we have pushed Rey into something she might be uncomfortable with.”

“I don’t mind, it’s not uncomfortable.” Rey spoke up. Perhaps Cassian should’ve listened to her and dropped the issue, after all she didn’t seem bothered by this man but by now he was too riled up, too offended to back down.

“Look,” he began and leant forward, somehow still managing to look imposing and important from a rocking chair, “maybe one day you’ll actually manage to arrest this guy. If he pleads not guilty and this has to go to trial his defense will be able to discredit every interview Rey has given because she gave them alone. They can easily say that she was distressed or manipulated by you guys or just not thinking straight. Because she was having to talk to random strangers alone.”

Of course he was a fucking lawyer. Cassian should’ve remembered earlier, the wealth he clearly had and the air he carried himself with all screamed too-expensive-to-be-hired lawyer.

Jyn looked to Cassian and they had a silent conversation, the type only possible through a deep understanding of each other. As much as he hated to admit it Solo did seem to be onto something, the idea that Rey should’ve had someone with her and not been left with unknown people after suffering the way she had done. They were detectives, not lawyers and hadn’t thought beyond solving the case but Solo obviously had and now they seemed incompetent. 

“Is this ok with you Rey?” Jyn asked gently as Cassian leaned against the wall, letting Jyn sit on the chair by the chest of drawers. Skywalker must make furniture, why else would every room have so many chairs in it?

“Yeah, it is.” Rey said and glanced at Solo who had returned to lounging around. His hard expression softened minutely when she looked at him but his glare returned a moment later, making Cassian’s heart sink. They had somehow manage to get Finn Solo, Ben Solo and Mr. Kanata to hate them when all they were trying to do was their jobs. 

“OK then, interview commencing at 11:47 am. Present in the room Detective Inspector Andor, Detective Sergeant Erso, Rey Kanata, Ben Solo. Rey, when we arrived to return some belongings to you, you mentioned the drawings in your diaries. Could you explain what you meant?” Cassian allowed himself to relax as he spoke, falling into his detective role easily.

“Well, he reads them you see. But I wanted to remember what he did, so I made something up.” Rey began, still twisting her fingers together but talking more easily than she normally did. Cassian didn’t want to attribute this to Solo being here, instead chalking it up to being a subject she didn’t mind talking about. It was often unclear to him what she did and didn’t like remembering.

“Is that why you added the pictures? Like a code?” Jyn asked, opening her notebook to a clean page and pulling a pencil out.

“Yeah. Different pictures for different things he did. So Mark wouldn’t have to read it.”

“Rey, could you draw the pictures you used and write what they mean?”

Rey nervously took the paper Jyn offered her but didn’t make a move to do it.

“Why? How will it help?” She asked in her smallest voice.

“We can use it to understand the diary entries and work out exactly what happened to you. To know exactly what went on.” Jyn explained kindly.

There was a long period of silence while Rey made them a crib sheet. The drawings had been simple, a heart, a flower, a leaf. Things they had all just assumed were little doodles, even if Rey was obviously quite good at drawing, they had found a proper sketchbook filled with flowers on a shelf in the basement. 

When she handed it back to them and Cassian read it through he fought the urge to vomit. The piece of paper had a list of innocent, pretty pictures that apparently corresponded to a meticulous list of vile actions.

Far more professional than him, Jyn was outwardly unaffected by it and began the questioning they had come here for. Another meeting with Superintendent Imwe had exposed the fact they knew little about Mark’s family and they wanted to rectify that quickly. Any information was useful information.

“We wanted to ask you about your kidnapper’s family, if that’s ok with you.” Jyn said as she flipped onto a clean page in her notebook. “Was there anyone he mentioned that he seemed to be particularly close to? Someone that might even have helped him in the past or be helping him now?”

“He doesn’t, doesn’t really have anyone. Apart from me.” Rey said, picking at the hem of her blouse and Cassian wondered for a moment if all her clothes were blue and white.

“He doesn’t have anyone at all or he didn’t mention anyone to you?” Jyn pressed on. 

“Doesn’t have anyone, not any that he likes. He talked a lot about his mum but she’s dead.”

“Who did he complain about? Friends, family, people at his job?”

“Everyone. Especially people at work. I don’t think he likes anyone, except his mum.”

“Tell us about her. Do you know her name?” Cassian spoke up, unsurprised at what Rey had to say. This man seemed both thoroughly unlikable and very good at keeping information that would be useful to the police from Rey. 

“No. Just that she never liked him much. Called him a mistake. A bottle of gin shaped mistake.” Rey finished, smiling wryly.

“Was there anyone else, at all? Any names he mentioned, other family members or coworkers he didn’t like?” Jyn said but Rey simply shook her head. 

Jyn looked up at Cassian who shook his head and turned the camera off. His disappointment at learning nothing about the kidnapper’s family was offset by the diary revelation and Cassian did feel quite excited by it. Now they would have a categorical list of crimes to arrest this man for, beyond just kidnapping and false imprisonment. 

They packed up the camera and tripod again and tucked it away in a corner of the room at Rey’s suggestion. She didn’t follow them out, instead moving back to her box of belongings and letting Solo do it. He walked them to the door in awkward silence and practically threw them out of the house, barley letting Jyn get through her reminders about contacting them if necessary and that if Rey wanted more things they could probably get them to her.

“He’s a dick.” Cassian muttered as they walked back to the car.

“I don’t think so. What he said made sense.” Jyn countered, sliding into her seat.

“Doesn’t stop him from being a dick. He didn’t need to be that rude or full of himself.”

“I don’t think he was trying to be rude.”

“What did you think?”

“That he was genuinely trying to help us. Or at least help Rey. Maybe he’s someone that’s really shit in social situations. Y’know, someone that offends everyone without meaning to.” Jyn checked the list from Rey as Cassian back out of the driveway.

“You just thought he was hot.” Cassian muttered.

“I’m a professional, I don’t notice things like that.”

There was a long silence between them as the lanes gradually became roads and civilization began to return. It wasn’t until they were arriving back at the station, ready to present their findings when Jyn spoke again.

“Did you think their dynamic was weird? Ben Solo with Rey?” She asked, more curiosity than worry in her voice.

“Not really. He just seemed a bit protective.” Cassian replied and tried to think of a time when they had seemed odd. 

“I guess.” Jyn didn’t sound convinced.

“C’mon. We’ve got work to do.” 

-

Ben lurked in his room for a long time after the detectives left, replaying the police interview and debating whether he should go and apologise to Rey.

When they had called Chewie during breakfast, explaining that they wanted to question Rey and bring some things she had asked for Ben had decided he would do his best to sit in on the interview. He had once been that shitty lawyer doing his very best to defend awful people and so he knew the tactics used, the ways the defense would pick holes in every argument and shoot down any evidence presented to them. Interviews with Rey would be the key aspect of the prosecution and her kidnapper’s lawyer would find it so easy to dismiss them as the ramblings of a traumatized, delusional woman being pushed into saying certain things by detectives who were so desperate to solve the crime they didn’t care who they arrested.

Ben knew he should’ve asked Rey beforehand, brought it up, given her some kind of warning. But instead he hand been too nervous, blindsided by all of the adults leaving for the day and the fact Finn and Poe had included him in their wedding planning session. 

“Fuck it.” Ben muttered to himself and swung his legs off his bed, trying not to stomp his way over to Rey’s room and probably failing.

At the sight of her shut door Ben considered turning around and heading back into his room but he knocked on the door before the idea properly sunk in.

There was some kind of scuffle from inside before Rey opened the door, wrapped up in one of Luke’s patchwork quilts and staring at him with surprised eyes.

“Ben? Is everything ok?” She asked, her eyes looking straight into his mind.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Ben said quickly, thrown off by how worried she looked.

“You just, you look a bit funny.” Rey clarified and Ben relaxed slightly. His intense expressions had never been described as funny looking. That was usually reserved for his ears.

“I just, I wanted to apologise. For earlier. I should’ve asked you before coming in, not just barged in like that.”

“Oh.” Rey said, stepping aside to let him in. 

Her box had been moved into the rocking chair and Ben saw the misshapen Moomin he had seen earlier was now sitting in the middle of her bed, leaning against the pillow. Rey saw him staring at it and she picked it up, admiring it with obvious pride.

“He was the first thing I ever crocheted besides blankets.” She said, poking at one of the lumps on his tummy.

“He’s lovely.” Ben meant what he said. She had sewn a lovely, friendly face on her Moomin. He fidgeted, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and shoving his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do. Rey seemed to have entirely ignored his attempts at an apology.

“It’s ok. I didn’t mind when you came in to the interview.” She said suddenly, squeezing her Moomin tightly and looking up at him.

“Oh, I thought, I thought you might be angry. I didn’t tell you what I was gonna do and I should’ve.” Ben said, at a loss for words somewhat.

“I don’t mind.” Rey looked slightly absent when she spoke this time though and Ben couldn’t quite believe her.

“I’m sorry, for doing that.” Ben kept going with his apology, beginning to feel uncomfortable.

When they both fell silent this time it wasn’t as peaceful as it had been before now and Ben was feeling worse by the minute. He wanted to kick himself for being so stupid, for fucking things up. He hadn’t asked, he had pushed her boundaries too much and it was clear Rey didn’t like thinking about it.

As her gaze returned to her Moomin Ben glanced around the room and kicked himself again. There were a few books and half finished embroidery hoops here now along with some clothing that Rey must’ve been going through. 

He didn’t say anything as he walked past her, simply letting himself out of her room and immediately retreating to his own. The moment the door shut behind him he sunk down and leant against it, his head in his hands. 

There really must be something special about me, Ben thought as he sat there, feeling thoroughly miserable. He had acted like an asshole and not thought about Rey, simply pushing himself into a delicate situation and acted like he knew best and know she wouldn’t want to be around him again.

Sitting up Ben knocked his head into the door behind him, not hard enough to hurt, just enough to punish himself for being such a prick. It didn’t matter how well intentioned he had been, things were definitely fucked now.

Choosing to forget about how Rey had actually spoken to him a bit Ben lay back on his bed and punished himself some more by reading another one of Luke’s books, his mind slightly stuck on Moomins and patchwork blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Jyn and Cassian get their big break
> 
> another update? who am i  
> i hope u dont mind some more ben angst and suffering  
> but i couldnt help myself  
> also there is no meaning behind the name mark- i just thought it was a good basic white man name you would use when you want to hide ur identity


	33. Chapter 33

Ben pulled at the hem of his jacket and regretted not treating his suit with more respect when he packed it. Sure, it wasn’t ruined but it didn’t look great to show up for a job interview in a somewhat wrinkled jacket and trousers. At least his shirt was fine and his watch added a more professional air to his slightly rumpled appearance. 

He scrubbed his hand over his face nervously as he gave himself one final once over before heading out of his bedroom. It was ridiculously early in the morning and he desperately needed coffee, especially with the long drive ahead of him. There was the distant sound of the kettle boiling and Ben walked to the kitchen quicker, hoping to nick some of the water someone else had boiled.

He wasn’t surprised at all when he entered the kitchen and saw Rey there, a blanket draped over her thin shoulders and pouring herself a cup of tea. She turned at the sound of the door opening and Ben willed himself not to react to the dark circles underneath her eyes. It clearly hadn’t been a good night for her.

“Morning.” Ben said, reaching for a mug.

Rey took in the way he was dressed and Ben caught her frown.

“You look, fancy.” She said, a faint blush growing on her cheeks.

“Uh, yeah. I have a job interview today, so I thought I’d better dress the part.” He explained as he started to gulp down his coffee and burnt his tongue. 

The more he thought about this interview the more nervous Ben grew and he was becoming increasingly keen to be on his way. Sticking his mug in the sink he said pulled some gum from his pocket and stuck a piece in his mouth, too worked up to want to brush his teeth again. Rey opened her mouth and immediately shut it again as he hurried out of the room.

“Have a good day!” Ben called back to her as he headed out to his car, only just remembering his car keys at the last moment. 

It wasn’t until he was on the motorway, driving fast and listening to the radio that Ben realised that Rey had probably been about to say something to him when he left. They hadn’t had a moment alone since the police interview a few days ago when Ben had fucked things up by not speaking to her beforehand and now he had interrupted her and not let her speak. 

If he wasn’t driving Ben would’ve hit his head against the steering wheel, instead having to settle for just gripping it more tightly. He had thought he was doing quite well with Rey, connecting with her far more easily than he had with anyone in a long time, but now he had made two big mistakes in just a few days and was worried she wouldn’t want to find that easy footing with him again. 

As he got nearer to the city Ben began to pay attention to his driving. The offices of Jedi Order weren’t far from his old firm, The First Order and as began to drive through familiar streets Ben began to feel more and more on edge. For all it had been several months since he had walked out of his job and away from his boss he could remember it so easily, all the different reasons he had to hate that job and all the times he had stayed despite it all.

Luckily Ben could park away from his old office and this helped to alleviate some of the tension, even if the First Order building was still in his sight.

There was no reception desk in the lobby and Ben made a beeline straight for the list. This was supposed to be simple; go up to the right floor, tell the receptionist who he was, meet the man who had contacted him, Qui Gon Jinn and talk to him, hopefully ending the day by being hired. The problem was Ben had never actually been to a job interview before. 

As a teenager he had never had a job, instead using his parents money to act out and get fucked up. Then one day when he was twenty one, Alistair Snoke had come into his university, noticed an angry, isolated Ben Solo and offered him a job when he graduated. 

Ben felt his nervousness begin to be replaced by anger as he thought about his old boss. The way the man had manipulated him, built him up only to bring him down time and time again until Ben could take it no more and flipped his desk over and walked out for good. His hands curled into fists remembering this, more and more instances of manipulation and mistreatment creeping into his mind.

Before he became too overwhelmed or punched the wall of the lift it stopped suddenly, long before his floor, and opened the door, a familiar figure stepping in. 

A familiar, pasty ginger figure.

“Solo?” 

“Hux?”

Ben stared at his former colleague and friend wordlessly, utterly unable to get his brain to wake up from his shock. Hux recovered more quickly than Ben and stepped into the lift just before the doors shut, both of them staring at the other in silence. 

As the lift climbed the building Ben took in Hux’s appearance. Always a pale, thin man he looked worse than he had last time Ben had seen him. There were dark circles underneath the man’s eyes, his hair was thinner and he was thin to the point of looking ill. It had only been months since Ben had left his old job and his friendship with Hux but the time had apparently not treated him well. Ben vaguely wondered if Hux was still at the First Order and if Snoke was responsible for this change to his friend when his floor was announced and Hux spoke up. 

“I quit the First Order. About a month after you.” He said, holding the door open. “I work here now.”

“For the Jedi Order?” Ben asked. He couldn’t help but be curious about Hux quitting his job. Hux had always been one of the few good things about working for Snoke and in his past months of isolation Ben had almost missed the ginger prick. Almost. 

“Oh, no. In the building. I’m a barrister for a divorce lawyers on the tenth floor.” 

An awkward silence followed Hux’s explanation when Ben didn’t speak up. His brain was hanging far behind the conversation, still stuck on seeing Hux and hearing that he quit. Hux fiddled with his collar, one hand still on the lift door and Ben watched .

“You look like shit.” He commented just as the uncomfortable silence was becoming physically painful.

“Thanks.” Hux said coldly but Ben noticed the slight twitch of his mouth and had to fight a smile of his known. Their dynamic had mostly been centered on sarcasm and insults that hid a genuine affection for each other. It was nice to know that still remained to some degree.

“What happened?” Ben asked, beginning to feel actually concerned the more he looked at him.

“My girlfriend left me.” Hux explained and Ben nodded immediately understanding. Hux always did have problems with becoming a bit too intense about girls he was interested in, he had even managed to be engaged several times despite only being in his early thirties. 

The silence between them returned and Ben stuck his hands in his pockets. He was trying to think of something else to say when he suddenly remembered why he was there in the first place, all his nerves returning in full force. 

“I’d better go.” Ben said and vaguely gestured at the open plan office space behind him.

“Sure, sure.” Hux said and let go of the door.

“See you around.” Ben offered him as it shut.

Ben turned and glanced around at the office, feeling distinctly out of place. The bright colours, large windows and cheerful atmosphere were worlds away from the oppressive cubicles and unhappy employees he was used to.

A young woman sat at the reception desk a few feet away and Ben approached her, grateful that he still sounded confident and put together when he introduced himself to her. He was shown to a chair and told to wait for a moment as Qui Gon was still in a meeting, the receptionist apologizing endlessly for the delay and introducing herself as Tallie. 

Tallie, Ben learnt, was talkative. In only a few minutes of waiting he that everyone was on a first name basis with everyone else, even the boss, that she was dating one of the two other people who worked in the legal department and that her cat was pregnant. 

He had been thinking that this would be a nice place to work but now he was beginning to change his mind. If everyone talked this much it was going to drive him mad.

When Ben was shown to Qui Gon Jinn office’s he was greeted by a large younger man with facial hair and an older man he recognised from the company website as Jinn himself.

“Ah, Ben Solo.” He said, reaching forward to shake Ben’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you. This is Snap, head of human resources.” He gestured to the younger man as he spoke before ushering Ben inside his office.

“Pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Jinn. Ben said as he settled in a chair opposite the desk. He tried toe the line between the cocky confidence he had exuded at the First Order and the more reserved, self-conscious person he was in reality. 

“None of that. We aren’t that kind of company here.” He said dismissively as he sat opposite Ben.

Ben allowed himself a moment of staring at the other man and taking in his appearance. There was something about him that reminded him of his Uncle Luke and Ben decided then and there if this man followed the force too Ben would not take this job. He did however admire the man’s long, sandy hair and tan suit. 

“So, Ben,” Qui Gon began, leaning forward and smiling at Ben warmly. Ben wanted to be reassure by that but everyone here seemed to be a bit like that. He wouldn’t be surprised it someone was fired with a smile. “Welcome aboard!” 

He finished speaking with a flourish that left Ben speechless.

“I was under the impression this was a job interview.” Ben said, shifting awkwardly in his seat and unbuttoning his suit jacket. 

“Technically it is. But we aren’t interested in anybody else for this role and are fully prepared to hire you.” Quin Gon explained, becoming marginally more serious as he spoke. “As long as you are prepared to accept you’re as good as hired.” 

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Ben said quickly, not willing to let this opportunity slip through his fingers just because things were different to what he was used to.

“Great. I’ll explain a couple things now and then you’ll be free to go. Everything important can be sent on to you.” 

Ben couldn’t help but wonder how this company was as successful as it had been if this was the boss’s approach to things. He definitely seemed content to just let things be and move on.

Unfortunately for Ben he blinked and was suddenly back in the lift in a daze, the rest of Quin Gon’s information having gone over his head completely. A combination of just being handed the job, everyone’s friendly attitude to him and seeing Hux left him entirely witless and unable to process anything. 

He wasn’t aware of what he was doing until he was halfway back to Luke’s and faced with the very real possibility of having to drive two hours a day to get to work. For all he liked driving that seemed a little unnecessary, particularly when he parent’s house was much closer.

Ben turned the idea of heading back there in a week over in his head and found it more and more unappealing the closer he got to Luke’s. There was far more reasons to want to live there, being both closer to the city and farther away from his Uncle were compelling reasons but Ben simply didn’t find himself drawn to the idea. Something about Luke’s maybe him want to stay there, at least for a little while longer.

-

Chewie stumbled on his way into the kitchen slightly, somehow exhausted despite getting to sleep in far later than he normally does. The coffee pot called to him as he looked around, but Luke had gone on yesterday about caffeine intake and heart problems and now the idea doesn’t seem quite so appealing. He honestly hadn’t known it had negative effects.

Digging around in the cupboards for something else he found a whole shelf of fruit tea, every flavour he thought could be made into tea and lots that he hasn’t ever heard before. Settling on something he recognises he followed the sound of the TV into the living and paused in the doorway to watch Rey, Finn and Poe watching together, with Leia on her laptop besides them. 

He tries to commit moments like this to memory, the fear of Rey being taken again ever present and all consuming. 

“What’re you watching?” He asked, moving to stand behind Rey and look over her shoulder.

“The cricket.” Finn answered, Rey too busy with the daily suduko to notice him at first. 

“Whose winning?”

“The West Indies. They just bowled Thanisson out.” Poe explained as the English batter took his helmet off and began to leave the pitch.

At this Rey looked up at the TV and noticed the batter for the first time.

“Thanisson? Like Thomas Thanisson?” She asked, mostly to Finn.

“One and the same.” Finn chuckled. 

“You guys know him?” Poe asked them, sounding as confused as Chewie felt. He had never heard about either Finn or Rey knowing Thomas Thanisson.

“Yeah he went to our school. He became like, super popular when all the cricket stuff started to pick up for him.”

Chewie tried to remember if it had been mentioned before that the famous English cricket player Thomas Thanisson had gone to school with Rey and Finn but he came up with nothing. It seemed like something that would have been mentioned before, but Chewie had to admit to himself that his interests had become pretty small ever since Rey disappeared. Beyond his family, the Solo’s and finding Rey he hadn’t cared about much. News of one classmate going on to great things wouldn’t have mattered to him.

“He gave a speech y’know. At the prom after party.” Finn said quietly after a long pause, his attention on Rey.

“What about?” Rey asked.

Chewie felt invasive in this moment, to watch this conversation. Rey and Finn had always been able to make others feel out of place in their conversations, they were that close to each other. 

“You. He took a ton of ket and climbed on Rose’s kitchen table to give a whole speech about how you should be with us and that we shouldn’t forget about you. He was surprisingly coherent.”

“There was ket at your prom after party?” Leia said suddenly from her corner. 

Panic flitted across Finn’s face, swiftly replaced by guilt and Chewie laughed. Finn had never told this story before, previously having remained very tight lipped about his prom and the events afterwards. Now Chewie could see why.

“Uh, yeah, there was. But I didn’t take any!” Finn was speaking far too fast for anyone to believe him and Chewie laughed again as he settled down next to Rey. 

Leia narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips at Finn but didn’t say anything. Disapproval radiated off her but Chewie couldn’t help but be amused. Finn was such a good kid, had always been so well behaved and correct that he could only find it funny that he had been doing drugs at parties this whole time. Or at least at one party.

Rey finished the sudoku in what Chewie was sure had to be record time and moved her attention to the crossword, seeming determined to finished every puzzle in the newspaper. The next English player came up to bat against the West Indies when Maz came into the living room, hair windswept from her morning exploration of Luke’s garden.

“Rey, when the police came yesterday, did they take their equipment with them? Only it’s not in our bedroom anymore.” She asked.

“No. It’s in my room now.” Rey looked up from her crossword to reply, looking at Maz intently.

“Why?” Really, Chewie had no problem with the stuff being in Rey’s room as long as she was ok with it. He just didn’t really like not knowing what was going on with the police and his girl.

“Cos we did the interview in my room.” 

“We?” Chewie instantly bristled at her words, his mind already racing ahead to unknown conclusions. He tried to reason with himself briefly, will himself to stop being so ridiculous but Rey’s answer only made things worst as it confirmed his worst suspicions. 

“Yeah, the detectives and me. And Ben.”

He willed himself not to tense up and frighten Rey. His anger and imposing stature was not something he would expose her to. Tucking one fist between the sofa and himself and out of her sight he slowly clenched and unclenched it, trying to focus all of his emotions there.

“Why was Ben there?” Maz asked, her gaze flitting between Rey and Chewie.

“He said I shouldn’t do the interviews alone. Something about court and people not believing it.”

“You let him stay with you?” Chewie asked. Neither he nor Maz had been in a single one of her conversations with the police. They had not been there to listen to her, to understand and comfort her. He had thought that was what she wanted. 

“Of course. I didn’t mind someone else being there.” Rey explained and looked back down to her crossword.

The conversation was clearly over, Rey had moved on. Her attention span was not the longest despite her slow answers and Chewie resigned himself to watching the cricket, outwardly calm and inwardly seething.

There were too many thoughts in his head to make sense of them. They ran over each other, one new thought coming to him before he had finished the previous and all of them tinted with his anger and frustration. 

He ought to have asked, to have seen whether she wanted them there or not. Maybe it would’ve even helped her in those early interviews, when she was still bruised and jumpy and crying in her sleep, to know that her parents, that her father was there with her. 

Quietly he disparaged himself, his hand stuck in a fist and his daughter next to him oblivious. He didn’t want to push her, make her uncomfortable by asking her questions and making her relieve what was surely the very worst time. When she hadn’t let them take her to a therapist or sit in her doctor’s appointments he had taken that as rejection, a sign she didn’t want them to be present in those moments.

But now she did want that it seemed. She didn’t mind someone else being there, whether because of this whole legal thing or because she wanted the support Chewie didn’t know. All he knew was that he had not tried to find out and had then left her to do it alone. And Ben fucking Solo had been the one to find that out about her, not him.

-

Cassian must’ve read and reread the testimonies of the people who lived by Rey’s captor hundreds of times by now. He would be able to tell you exactly who thought what about the man who lived there, what they thought he looked like, the conclusions they came to about his behaviour. 

It didn’t surprise him that no one knew the man’s name or was able to give a detailed description of his appearance. He had kept strict hours and never spoke to anyone, simply coming home in an expensive car, having coworkers over to his house and avoiding all street events. 

It did annoy Cassian though. Why could there not be one person who had known him? One person who knew his job or his full name or some unusual detail about his life? Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently it was and he was left to sit at his desk and read about the mother who lived across from him and found him odd and intimidating. Unfriendly.  
He was only broken out of this when Jyn spoke up suddenly, her head lifted from one of Rey’s diaries. 

“Are you busy?” She asked, shutting the book with her gloved hands.

“Not really. Just going over some stuff.”

“Can you do this for a bit? I need a break.” Jyn said, handing over the diary, one of the pages marked with a post-it note.

They had discovered yesterday it was easy to go through the diaries in shifts, taking breaks when it got too much and letting the other person. It was good work though, giving them both a cohesive list of crimes as well as a pattern of behaviour.

He took the book from her and opened up the page she had marked it at. The green notebook with daisy pattern was one of the latest ones, detailing Rey’s sixth year of captivity and an increase in abuse. 

Methodically Cassian read from where Jyn left off, mostly ignoring the passages about passing birthdays, books Rey read and craft projects finished. He read the sections where she talked about the concept of good and evil and the disconnect between the public and private presentations of people. They intrigued him; he couldn’t always understand what she meant in those parts and he definitely couldn’t imagine the young woman he spoke to writing like that.

It was the doodles he was interested in and the list of crimes they corresponded to. 

Cassian became so absorbed in the easy, methodical work it gave him he almost missed the sound of Jyn’s phone ringing. He definitely couldn’t miss the way she answered it though, the clipped professionalism in her voice quickly morphing into genuine excitement and rapid questions. 

He looked up to see her watching him keenly and gesturing for him to pay attention to her. Although he could only hear half of the conversation it was clear that something significant had been found at the crime scene that was now being torn apart. 

“Where was it?” Jyn asked, clutching her phone as if it was going to run away from her with this new lead any moment.

“What’s the expiration date?”

“Cassian, how long do debit cards last?” She asked suddenly, covering the speaker of her phone.

“Three years.” He replied, beginning to share her excitement. If they had found a debit card then they would finally have a proper lead, something concrete to follow.

“It’s really recent. He got it two months ago.” Jyn said to him. 

“What’s the name on it?” Cassian asked, pulling out a notepad to write down this information, Jyn being too worked up to do it herself.

“Mark White. Bullshit I know.” She said and Cassian scoffed. It wouldn’t be simple enough that there was a card with his real name.

Jyn’s end of the conversation went quiet, simply replying with noises and leaving Cassian in the dark.

“Ok, take what you need and then send it here straight away. We can run it, pull up recent purchases and hopefully find some CCTV. Or official documents. Or something.” Jyn put the phone down after she finished and turned back to Cassian, eyes bright.

“What have they got?” He asked, itching to know.

“Debit card. They were taking the radiator off the hallway wall and it fell down. It wasn’t dusty or anything and it’s recent so they think he lost it when he was leaving. It’s got his bullshit fake name but otherwise it looks real.”

They both abandoned what they were doing and rushed out of the office, heading for the forensics lab and the card they were now pinning their hopes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Jyn and Cassian visit Rey
> 
> ive been vague about where ben's worked/applied for until now- sorry for just dropping it in this chapter  
> his old job was at the first order- he worked for snoke alongside hux  
> his new job is at the jedi order where he works for qui gon jinn  
> i dont know much about the law or companies in the uk but ive done some research so hopefully anything like that wont be too incorrect  
> also ket is short for ketamine. idk about other countries but in the uk its a super common drug among young people for parties  
> sorry for taking a bit longer to update!!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe gets in his feelings

  
Instead of returning to Luke's immediately Ben stopped at the cliff edge just up from his house and leant against his car to watch the sea. He hadn't told anyone except Rey about this interview and felt the need to prepare himself before arriving home and telling his mother how he had hidden this. She had been trying to become closer to him since he had returned home and although Ben had the social skills of a watermelon even he knew this would affect their relationship. Leia wanted to be involved in her children's lives, to know where things were going for them and what was going on in their lives. She was just that kind of mother.  
  
It was why his relationship with her had never been good. It was why Finn had always been her favourite child and why Chewie and Maz keeping Rey tucked away when she had first returned had hurt her so much. 

Ben's musings on his mother were interrupted by the sound of his phone and almost jumped out of his skin at the sound. He fished his phone out of his jacket with trepidation. No one ever texted him and he half expected it to be some bad news. 

_Hey Solo, just wanted to wish you luck for the new job._   
_This is Hux btw._

Ben couldn't help but chuckle at the message, smirking at it. It wasn't anything like how he would expect Hux to text, but then again Ben didn't know much about him beyond work. 

His fingers hovered over the keyboard several times before he settled on a response. It was just messaging an old co-worker he had accidentally run into again but it felt like such a big deal. 

_Thanks man. Maybe we'll be seeing more of each other, now that we're back in the same building._

_I guess so._   
_It was a bit strange, the First Order without you walking around._

Ben felt his curiosity grow at the mention of the First order. He would absolutely be lying if he said he had never wondered what happened there after he left. With Hux having opened the door for him Ben couldn't help but enquire.

_What did happen after I left?_

_It all got a bit mad tbh_   
_At first Snoke acted liked nothing had happened._   
_But then something must've happened because he went absolutely off the rails_

_What do you mean off the rails?_

_He just went a bit crazy._   
_He had a big meeting with Palpatine and got him involved in things again_

The mention of Sheev Palpatine made Ben's blood run cold. If he had been Snoke's apprentice then Snoke was Palpatine's. The older man had already been on his way out when Ben arrived at First Order but had always been a dark cloud hanging over the company, offering advice and being pulled into the most high profile cases, despite being retired. 

Ben had always assumed things at First Order had continued as though he never left but if Snoke and Palpatine were together then something must've happened to one of them.

_Shit_   
_Palpatine always creeped me out_

  
_Ikr_   
_Him coming back was one of the reasons I left_

  
_Why did you leave?_

  
_Same reason you did I guess_   
_Just didn't want to be there anymore_

Ben stared at the conversation for a long moment before tucking his phone back into his pocket, unsure of how to continue. He had to admit it to himself, despite everything he told himself about Snoke manipulating him and him finally realising that and leaving ultimately Ben simply didn't want to be there anymore. He had once and Ben knew he would always regret the years he wasted there.

As the wind picked up Ben was forced to slide back into his car and return to Luke's, his suit proving to be no protection against the cold. How he had worn one everyday for years was a mystery. 

The sound of laughter form the sitting room welcomed Ben back and it made his heart feel a little bit warm, even as Chewie gave him a death stare and then dramatically picked his stuff up and left the room. 

Rey looked up from her conversation with Finn when he walked in and raised her eyebrows in a silent question. Ben nodded at her, actually fighting a smile. At seeing his nod Rey jumped up from the sofa and Ben barely had time to register her movement before her arms were around his neck and she was giving him a tiny hug. 

Ben's brain immediately stopped working when he felt her slim frame press up against him for just a moment. He had barely raised his arms to hug her back when she left go and stepped back from him, her warmth making him feel colder. He resisted the urge to step forward and envelop her in a proper embrace, wrap her up in his arms and press her to his chest, instead clenching his fists and trying not to focus on how his body buzzed where she had touched him. 

"It went well?" Rey asked, her tone of voice matching her soft expression. 

"Yeah it did. I start next week." Ben replied. Something he couldn't identify flickered across Rey's face for just a moment but was quickly replaced by a little smile. 

"Back to defending criminals then Ben?" Poe asked, looking all sorts of irritated. 

"Actually, no." Ben sunk into an armchair as he spoke, half watching Poe's face and half watching Rey pad back to sit with Finn. "It's for a non-profit, providing legal aid."

He couldn't help but be a little bit smug as he spoke, feeling proud of his new job. 

"You defended criminals?" Rey spoke up from behind Finn and Ben awkwardly ran a hand through his hair, having totally forgotten Rey didn't know what his old job had technically been.

"Uh, yeah. The firm provided legal defence for high profile criminals." Ben explained, trying to word it in a way that didn't make it sound as monstrous.

"He tried stop murderers from going to prison." Poe elaborated, clearly in a bad mood.

"Well, someone has to right?" Rey said, glancing between them all. 

"Some of them were pretty fucking evil." Finn said and Rey frowned.

"No ones completely evil." Rey said, almost too quietly to hear. 

Ben didn't know what to say to that. 

-

He was a terrible person, Poe concluded. 

When he had first met Finn it had been love at first sight; at least for him. Finn had been more guarded, acknowledging the instant attraction between the pair but taking things more slowly, taking time to expose each of his layers to Poe thinking they would frighten him, away only to have Poe fall even further in love with him. Every struggle Finn had experienced made him think he wasn't able to have that kind of love and every struggle Poe learnt about made him want to work harder to be worthy of Finn.

Everything Finn saw as a flaw in himself endeared him to Poe. His reserved nature balanced Poe's enthusiasm and his pragmatism countered Poe's rashness. It made Poe believe in soulmates, in being two perfect halves to a whole. 

There was a selfish part to it too though. 

Poe quickly discovered how nice it was to be needed by someone, to be the one they turned to when things became too heavy for them to carry alone. Deep down Poe had to admit to himself that the times when Finn was struggling and he was the one that lifted him back up again were some of the times dearest to him. 

As Poe sat on the sofa though and watched Finn and Rey laugh over some silly story he felt that slipping away from him ever so slightly. Finn had never laughed easily and Poe would often have to work to make him laugh. Only now as he sat with Rey his smiles pair seemed utterly effortless and that made Poe want to hate Rey. 

And that was a disgusting thing to feel. 

This was a girl, young and quiet, who had suffered far more than Poe could ever imagine and Poe was beginning to dislike her for being happy and connecting with her best friend who had been taken from her for years. Finn had always been his, always closer to Poe than to his parents or to his friends but now Poe was watching as someone else took the love he had worked so hard for. 

Poe slid further into the sofa, trying to hide his feelings and the shame that accompanied them. He must've failed completely as Finn shot him a confused look over Rey's head. Poe simply shook his head and begun to brace himself for what would be a painful conversation later. Years of dealing with things beyond his maturity level and being the only child to four different parents had taught Finn not to avoid uncomfortable situations and so Poe knew he would ask about it sooner rather than later. 

He was saved in that exact moment by Ben's return however, and Poe honestly had never been happier to see him. Then again Poe had never been happy to see Ben at all before now. 

Ben hadn't told anyone except Rey about this job interview he had disappeared off to that morning and Poe couldn't help but watch the way Rey hugged him with suspicion. If there was something going on between them then Poe had absolutely no problems beating Ben up, even if the man was a mountain. Some things just weren't done and in Poe's mind trying to get with a girl who had just escaped from captivity was one of them. 

Especially not when Ben had such a history of being a fundamentally bad person. Their conversation about Ben's old job only served to remind Poe why we didn't like Ben and one job with a charity wasn't going to change that. 

Tucking his laptop under his arm Poe returned to his and Finn's room, not enjoying Ben's company or these new and horrific feelings directed towards Rey.

"Are you mad at me?" Finn said suddenly, leaning against the doorframe and watching Poe settle himself on the bed.

"No." Poe said curtly, keeping his eyes on his laptop.

"You're a shit liar y'know."

"I just don't like Ben. You know that." 

Finn's eyes narrowed and Poe tried to look like he was telling the truth. Tentatively Finn sat on the edge of the bed and reached for his hand. Poe squeezed it tightly, unsure of if he was trying to reassure himself or Finn. Words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat as he opened his mother however when someone hammered on the front door so hard he worried briefly it be knocked down. 

They stared at each other wordlessly for a moment before rising to find the source of the commotion

-

"Have we run it yet?" Cassian asked, tapping his fingers on his desk. 

"Yes." Jyn replied. She didn't look up from her paperwork but her voice was full of nerves. 

"When did we run it?" 

"Hours ago. We should get results any moment now." 

Cassian sighed with frustration and leant back in his chair. He missed the days of breaking into crimes scenes and arresting criminals. Office work was far more dull. His eyes slid across the desk to where Jyn was reading and settled there. 

He had to admit it to himself, there were some perks to being here. 

A clatter behind him caught Jyn's attention and for a moment their eyes met. Cassian was filled with a sudden urge to push back the hair that fell in her eyes. The shouting quickly distracted him and reminded him of where they were. 

When we solve this case, Cassian thought idly, then we won't be workers anymore. 

"What's happened?" Jyn called, somehow raising her voice above the chaos without shouting. 

"We got a picture!" Rook shouted, leaning over someone's computer and typing furiously.

Jyn and Cassian glanced at each other, their professionalism giving way for expressions of genuine excitement. Before either of them could say anything more a picture of a man at a gas station filling up his sports car was up on their screens.  
  
"This him?" Jyn asked, waving her hand at the image. 

""Filling up his car was the last purchase he made on that card. This is only from a couple weeks ago." 

Cassian couldn't help but stare at the man. Old, rich and completely nondescript, save for the scarring that covered most of his face. Were he a man with more morals Cassian might think more about killing an old man but in that moment he wanted nothing more than to kill him. 

"We need confirmation." Jyn said, her voice meant only for him. 

Tearing his eyes away from their suspect Cassian nodded at her once. They both grabbed their jackets and began to run out of the station, Cassian's heart racing with anticipation. 

"Turn on the sirens." Cassian commanded as Jyn drove out of the station.

"This isn't a chase."

"Sure it is. That bastard has days on us." He bounced his leg up and down as he spoke, fighting the urge to throw Jyn and her sensible driving in the back of the car and race off. 

She seemed to consider it for just a moment before reaching up, turning on the sirens and flooring it. 

Time seemed to move impossibly slowly as the sped towards Luke Skywalker's home and Cassian really wished there had never been any press attention that forced the Kanata's into the countryside and away from the police station. 

Jyn clearly felt no need to park properly, instead simply pulling up outside the front door and blocking the lane in her haste to get out of the car. As she pounded on the door Cassian pulled up the CCTV on his phone, ready to present it to Rey. They were out of breath when Skywalker himself opened the door, looking distinctly uninterested in the frantic police outside his house. 

"Is Rey home? We need to confirm a suspect." Jyn asked as she stepped in. 

The hallway seemed to be full of everyone who was living there as Rey stepped forward, looking miniature between her father and Ben Solo. 

"You found him?" Chewie asked, placing his hand on Rey's shoulder and angling his body in front of her.

"Not exactly. We need Rey to confirm a suspect we have." Jyn explained as Cassian presented his phone.

"Rey, is this the man who took you?" He asked.

Rey stared at the image for a long moment, her face perfectly blank and her eyes filling with tears. She looked up at them, taking in the desperate faces of the detectives before nodding once.

"Yeah, that's him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Ben has to re-examine his past
> 
> im so sorry about the delay- my laptop broke and I've been using my phone and my boyfriend's laptop to write this-im sorry if it seems a bit off


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An arrest.

The moment those words left Rey’s mouth Detective Andor tried to take the phone back but it was too late. Ben watched from somewhere far away as Chewie took it from him and stared at it, almost crushing it in his hands, torn between wanting to see himself and never wanting to know. 

“What happens now?” Chewie asked, handing the phone back to the detectives, giving Ben just a glimpse of who was there. 

Just a glimpse was enough to knock the wind from his chest. The world begun to spin around him and he fought to stay balanced, hardly registering what the detectives said as Ben felt the earth spin off it’s path around the sun and go racing through open space. 

The detective pocketed the phone and explained the situation like he hadn’t just destroyed the foundations underneath Ben. 

“We circulate the image, first city wide and then nationwide, asking for information about the suspect.” He said, his calm voice breaking through to Ben. 

“You don’t know who that is?” Chewie asked brusquely. 

“Unfortunately not. CCTV doesn’t give you names.”

“Alistair Snoke.” Ben said suddenly, his mouth working independently of his brain. 

Everyone turned to look at him but Ben could only notice Rey’s wide, teary eyes.

“What?” The other detective said from somewhere near him, her voice muffled by the voices in Ben’s head. 

He tried not to sigh before he spoke again, desperately not wanting to have to elaborate on how he knew who that was. No matter how much Ben could say he knew nothing about this, he knew no one would truly believe that. 

“His name’s Alistair Snoke. He works at First Order Legal Defense.” He said heavily. With every word that Ben said he felt the atmosphere change around him as his words settled, shock and animosity radiating from everyone. 

A stunned silence dominated the room as Ben’s words and the meaning behind them sunk into everyone around him. People Ben became certain would want nothing more to do with him. 

It was only Rey who seemed to be oblivious to what he said, her attention already having moved from him to the detectives. 

“Will he go to prison?” She asked the detectives who could hardly tear their eyes from Ben to give her their attention. 

“Yes. We’ll arrest him, charge him and he’ll be put on trial. If he’s found guilty, he goes to prison.”

“How long for?” Rey’s voice was getting smaller and she was twisting her fingers nervously . It was only the sound of his daughter worrying that caught Chewie’s attention and Ben was grateful his murderous eyes were now focused on her.

“I’m not a judge,” Detective Erso said, her voice kind but her eyes worried. They clearly wanted to leave, to go and find Snoke. “but probably for the rest of his life.”

Something in Rey seemed to snap and she gripped her hands so tightly the skin went white. Ben tried to focus on them as the police said their goodbyes, still in a state of shock with a reeling mind. Chewie stepped past Rey to get the door and the moment it was shut immediately turned to face Ben, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Did you know?” He asked, his voice hard and his hand gripping the door knob. 

Ben floundered for a moment, unable to answer, a state of panic beginning to grip him. Fr more thoughts than he could ever contend with were running through his head and it took him several long moments to register Chewie’s question. Just as he opened his mouth though Chewie’s eyes moved from him to Rey and welled with fear.

“Rey? Sweetheart what’s wrong?” He asked, forcing Ben to step aside as he hovered in front of her. 

Ben looked down at Rey in horror and started at her, rendered mute by the tears running down her cheeks and the gasping breaths she was taking. She opened and shut her mouth, trying to speak but her tears were overwhelming her. 

He stumbled back into the wall as everyone moved around him, watching the scene unfold from somewhere in the sky, the world shrinking and contorting around him until everyone looked misshapen and fantastical.

Leia dragged Han away from the hallway and Finn and Poe left after them, leaving Ben to watch Maz and Chewie try to calm Rey. He felt himself slipping down the wall until his head was hung in his hands, hoping to keep falling until he reached the center of the earth. 

“It’s my fault!” Rey’s gasping, hysterical voice broke through to him as she rocked in Chewie’s arms, her hands twisted into the fabric of his shirt. Ben couldn’t tear his eyes away as she sobbed, even as it made him feel sick. It was far worse than when he had seen her crying on the beach. 

“It’s not your fault sweetheart, it’s not.” Maz cooed, rubbing circles on Rey’s back and seeming far less confident than Chewie did. 

“It is! He’s going to go to prison, for ever and ever, and it’s my fault.” She choked as she spoke, crying too hard to speak. 

“He did a very bad thing, Rey, it’s not your fault.”

“He’s not bad! Don’t say that!” She was cut off with another heaving sob that sent a surge of energy through Ben.

On uncertain legs he rose from the ground and stumbled out of the hallway, shutting the sound of Rey behind the door and making his way to the kitchen blindly. As he leant over the sink on heavy arms he felt a wave of nausea rise in him and he vomited, the acidic taste finally breaking him out of his daze and allowing him some ability to think logically, even thought the world still spun around him.

His arms refused to let him move from the sink, forcing him to breathe in the smell. The door opened and he listened to someone’s footsteps growing nearer to him but he still couldn’t move. Absently Ben wondered if he would be stuck over this sink forever. 

A tough, calloused hand reached over him and turned the tap on, emptying the sink. These same hands held Ben’s chin and forced him to look up, into the blue eyes of his Uncle. 

Luke drops his hand when Ben is standing upright of his own accord but his eyes never leave Ben’s, staring at him and making him so young and worthless; the same way he felt all those years ago, when he burnt down Luke’s buildings and cut them all off. As they watch each other Ben can sense Luke trying to say something and feels himself getting angry at him. What can be so difficult for him to say, after everything they have just learnt.

“I failed you Ben, all those years ago. I’m sorry.” Luke eventually says and Ben’s thin patience for his Uncle snaps. He’s been staying there for so long now, yet Luke can only finally apologise when Ben is at his weakest, the acidic taste of bile stinging in his mouth. 

“I’m sure you are.” Ben bites back, nothing but anger and resentment in his voice. He wants none of his Uncle’s platitudes or fake apologies. Luke hadn’t thought Ben worthy of anything when he was younger and Ben knew there was nothing he had done that could sway the old man’s opinion since. 

Pulling his eyes from the almost magnetic power of his Uncle’s gaze Ben turned and walked away, fully aware of his Uncle’s eyes following him out of the room. Passing by the shut door to the hallway Ben paused, the sound of sobbing still audible through the wood. He tried to sneak past quietly, loathe to disturb anything but Ben could’ve sworn he heard Rey become quieter as his footsteps travelled down the hallway.

Every door was shut and Ben was grateful for the way it hid him from prying eyes and questions he knew would be coming. As gently as he could he shut his own bedroom door, leaning back against it as he tried to regain his equilibrium. 

Just as quickly as Ben had been thrown into a spiraling panic he now slipped into a robotic state, no thoughts in his empty head. Moving silently from his door to his bed Ben lay down on it and stared at the ceiling, feeling the burn of vomit still in his mouth and hoping for sleep.

-

There were already dozens of cars around the First Order building by the time Jyn and Cassian finally arrived there, blocking off the street and stopping people from entering the area. Officers that were waiting for the two of them to make an arrest. For just a moment they sat together in the car, the adrenaline of racing to get there beginning to wear off and reality setting in.

“Cassian?” Jyn said, despising how vulnerable she sounded. 

“Yes?” Cassian turned to give her his full attention, something he was doing more and more Jyn noted idly.

“What if we’re wrong?” She asked, her mind full of hundreds of possibilities for how this could go. 

“Then we’re wrong.” Was all Cassian said before getting out of the car. 

Jyn took a moment to compose herself before getting herself out and following him inside the building. She prayed she didn’t look worried as they began to climb the stairs with a handful of officers behind them. This had been the biggest case of her career and was something she couldn’t afford to get wrong. Whilst Cassian might have a distinguished career behind him, she didn’t and mistakenly accusing a man of this level of importance could destroy what she had built for herself. 

The moment they burst onto Snoke’s floor the whole place broke out into confused talking. Employees in dark suits and high heels all stood back to let them past with varying degrees of shock but Jyn tried to pay them little attention, focusing solely on the office at the very end of the floor and the shiny plaque baring Alistair Snoke’s name. 

When they were a few steps from it Cassian turned back to look at her, his face a mask of professionalism and his eyes burning with an excitement she recognised in herself. 

“Do you want to arrest him, or should I?” He asked, keeping his voice low so only she heard it.

“You do it.” She replied immediately, sure of her answer. The glory of this moment was far more Cassian’s thing than hers. 

That was all Jyn needed to say for Cassian to throw the door to the office open, revealing Snoke sitting behind a huge desk, talking to two men who she could only assume to be clients of First Order.

She could hardly believe that he was going about his daily business, while his kidnapping victim was out there in the world.

“Can I help you?” Snoke said rising from his chair, his voice harsher than expected.

No one replied as Cassian stepped forward, pulling out handcuffs and cuffing his hands behind his back.

“Alistair Snoke, you are under arrest for kidnap and false imprisonment. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defense if you do not when questioned mention something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence against you.” Cassian said swiftly and confidently, a certain smugness to his voice.

The politely helpful expression Snoke had when they had first entered had now left his face entirely, replaced by a face completely devoid of any emotion at all. He didn’t acknowledge Cassian’s words at all and instead allowed himself to be taken away quietly, not saying a word as they walked past the stunned employees whose chins had fallen to the floor. 

Even with his hands cuffed behind his back and Cassian holding onto him Jyn still felt uncomfortable walking down the stairs in front of Snoke, feeling as though any moment she might be pushed down the stairs to her death or carried away to another basement somewhere. 

Intuition might not be passable evidence in court but Jyn trusted her gut and currently it was telling her this was a dangerous man.

More passersby were lingering on the street as they led Snoke out and handed him over to the officers who would drive him to the station for questioning. She held herself straight as they watched her and Cassian climb into their car, only relaxing when the doors were shut and the blacked out windows hid them from view.

“Fuck.” She muttered quietly, resting her hands in her head.

“You’ll mess up your eyeliner if you're not careful.” Cassian said as he drove them away, his knuckles white on the steering wheel as they followed the other cars away.  
Neither knew what to say as they reached the station, silently agreeing to wait in the car for a moment until they had regained their bearings.

“What now?” She asked, for once in her life feeling utterly lost. 

-

With a frustrated sigh Superintendent Imwe slapped the file down onto the desk in front of him, scrubbing a hand over his face briefly. 

“Has he said anything?” He asked, staring intently at his detectives.

“Only that he wanted to contact his lawyer. He’s been in there with him for hours.”

“Whose his lawyer?” 

“Man called Palpatine. He’s even older and uglier than Snoke if you can believe it.”

Imwe’s jaw visibly tightened and a flicker of an expression Cassian couldn’t name made it’s way across his face. If he didn’t know his boss he would’ve said it was fear; but Cassian felt sure Imwe couldn’t feel that at all. 

“Is that going to be a problem?” Jyn shifted in her seat as she spoke, uncharacteristically nervous. 

“Yes.” Imwe said simply, making Jyn and Cassian lean forward as he continued. “He’s before your time, but if he’s back to do this for Snoke we’ll be up against it. He used to defend the worst criminals there were, and always get them off. Like Snoke does now, only he was even better. No matter how hard you worked or how a good a case you built Palpatine could always find holes in it and get them freed.”

“Illegally?” Cassian asked, his mind already whirring with ideas about corrupt jury members and coercion.

“No. Just good arguments and being surprisingly charming. And this case,” Imwe gestured at the file in front of him disparagingly, “is full of holes for him to find.” 

“What do you mean?” Cassian felt himself bristle at his captain’s tone.

“It’s not your best police work, either of you. And from what you’ve said about her, Rey Kanata would not withstand a cross examination by Palpatine.”

Dread sunk over both detectives as they sat back in their seats. Cassian had been so sure that a positive identification from Rey and DNA evidence that Snoke had been in that house and basement was all they needed to pin this on Snoke, but now he felt less sure. He didn’t know how holes could be found in a case with all that but something about Imwe’s tone of voice told him that there would be weaknesses to be exploited. 

“Do you think he knew?” Jyn said suddenly, looking up from the floor.

“Who?”

“Palpatine. If he’s coming out of a comfortable retirement to defend his successor, he must have a pretty good understanding of it.” She said and Cassian could see the cogs whirring within her head. 

“Rey’s never mentioned him.” He said. It wasn’t a detail he would have forgotten her bringing up. 

“He might not’ve met her. But Snoke might’ve told him, maybe even when it happened.” 

Imwe leant back in his chair as he and Cassian absorbed Jyn’s explanation. Cassian could see where she was coming from but even so he had a hard time believing it. There would have to be a lot of trust between those two men to be able to confide to the other about something this extreme. 

“Just because Rey Kanata didn’t mention another man doesn’t mean there wasn’t ever anyone.”

“What?” Both Jyn and Cassian said at once.

“I’ve read her testimonies. She’s not been the most, reliable source so far.”

“She’s a trauma victim.”

“I’m not saying she isn’t. I’m saying she’s sketchy on a lot of things and seems to avoid certain questions. If this goes to court, she won’t be a witness we should bring up.” 

Sitting there in silence Cassian tried to think of times Rey had been misleading or left out information but he came up with none. Any details she left out he felt were justified given what had happened to her. 

“Is there anything else sir?” Jyn asked, gathering up their folder and getting out of her chair. 

“Yes. Bring Ben Solo here and interview him. As a person of interest.”

“You think he was involved?” Cassian asked. He would be lying if he said he disliked the idea of making Solo uncomfortable during questioning. It was nothing personal, he just didn’t like the guy.

“Who knows. But a close friend to the victim’s family that happened to be a trusted employee of the kidnapper? He could’ve do all sorts.” 

Imwe waved his hand as he finished speaking, dismissing Jyn and Cassian without another word. Cassian followed her out of the room, with his mind ruminating on all the possibilities of what could happen now and his eyes definitely not on Jyn’s ass.

-

Ben didn’t sleep. He lay motionless in his bed listening to the sounds of his family moving through the house and ignoring him. He had made no move to turn on the lights, choosing instead to lie like a zombie until the sun set and left him in darkness. 

Eventually time passes and the house grows quiet around him. The silence stirs him and he mindlessly changes and brushes his teeth, running on autopilot as he settles back on his bed. Vaguely, Ben wondered if he was in shock.

The kind of silence that can only be achieved late at night stretched all around him and he almost slipped into sleep until a timid knock at his bedroom door woke him right back up again. Warily Ben opened his door to find Rey standing there, wrapped in a blanket and watching him uncertainly. 

“Are you ok?” Ben asked automatically, his empty mind immediately filling up with ideas of Rey hurt or afraid.

“Yeah. Can we talk?” She asked, her voice scared.

He stepped aside to let her in before soundlessly closing the door. After turning on his bedside lamp he was able to see her properly, her eyes were still red from crying but no fresh tears marked her cheeks. 

Rey settled on the edge of his bed and tucked her blanket around her, all of her hidden beneath it with only her head peaking out. Sitting down beside her he fought the urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her until she didn’t look as cold or afraid. 

“I swear, I didn’t know.” Ben said suddenly. He heard how desperate he sounded but couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“I believe you.” Rey said seriously, looking at him steadily. “I don’t think anyone knew.” She added solemnly.

They didn’t say anything for a long while as Ben waited for her to speak up. He tried not to fidget as he sat there; the silence from Rey was one he recognised now and he didn’t want to disturb her as she sorted out her thoughts.

“What was he like? At your old job?”

Ben chuckled humourlessly at her innocent question. There were so many things he could say, so many ways to describe Snoke that he found it difficult to know where to begin.

“Shit.” He said eventually and Rey frowned.

“What do you mean?” She sounded confused.

“He was cruel, manipulative, rude. Nothing was ever good enough for him, no matter what you did and he was never kind to anyone.” Ben elaborated. It felt strange to talk about Snoke to someone. No one had ever cared to enquire; either they already had an opinion like Hux or didn’t care to find out. 

His words sat heavily between them, taking up all the space in the room and making Ben feel weak. Working for Snoke had been a conscious choice for years, one he had made without knowing the extent of Snoke’s horrors perhaps but he had still known enough to leave. But he had stayed.

“I can’t imagine that.” Rey said quietly. Small movements from within her blanket told Ben she was twisting her fingers again, squeezing them together and pressing her fingernails into her skin. 

“He was cruel to you.” He said sternly. Everything Snoke had ever done to her was cruel, from her imprisonment to the abuse he felt she must’ve suffered to the way her mind had been twisted until she no longer thought he was evil. 

“No, he wasn’t.” 

“Yes, he was.” Ben said , almost before she had finished speaking. 

They stared at each other for a long time, the silence between the no longer peaceful but instead simmering with disagreement. One of Rey’s hands peaked out from the blanket by and by, a tiny finger picking at a loose thread on it.

“Tell me something nice.” She whispered after a while and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he racked his brain for something to say. Her question took Ben so off-guard he had to think for a long while before he answered.

“The receptionist at my new job has a pregnant cat.” 

“What kind of cat?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should ask to have one of the kittens.” Rey suggested and Ben genuinely laughed, trying to imagine his mother living with a cat.

“I’m not sure Mum would want a kitten in the house. Too messy.” 

“But you won’t be living there forever.” Rey said almost cryptically, as if she knew something about Ben’s future he didn't.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you have a job now. So you don’t have to live at home anymore.” She explained and Ben was suddenly reminded of the existence of his penthouse. He really needed to sell it, especially now he had the money to find somewhere new. 

“I like living with my parents.” Ben lied.

“No, you don’t” The confidence Rey spoke with made him worry she could read his mind. 

“No, I don’t.” Ben paused, trying to think of what to say. Something about Rey was so calming, he could speak freely in a way he never normally did. “I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about moving out.” As much as living with his parents and little brother, Ben had to admit to himself he liked some parts about living right there. 

“You should. And you should get a kitten.” Rey said and Ben didn’t miss the way she sounded so confident and sure of herself. It was so different to her usually timid self.

“Do you just want a kitten?” He said suspiciously and narrowed his eyes at her.

Rey ducked her head and blushed furiously. It was a pretty sight, her pink cheeks.

“Absolutely not.”

“Yeah, right.” Ben dismissed her. Rey clearly couldn’t lie for shit. 

“I should go to bed.” Rey said, getting up and pulling her blanket around her more tightly.

“Right, yeah.” Ben said quickly. He hovered awkwardly as Rey left his room, watching her walk only a few steps down the hall to her own.

As he slipped under the covers of his own bed Ben almost felt like he could face everyone else if Rey believed him about Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Ben makes a few trips.
> 
> i hope this was an ok reveal- ive discovered im not very confident at action,  
> some of u guessed this months ago but hopefully its still interesting for u  
> things will get much less police-y and more reylo-y soon i swear!!


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maz and Chewie talk it out.

Maz had tried not to cry when she saw the picture of her daughter’s tormentor. She had tried not to cry when Rey had broken down in their arms and sobbed until she couldn’t breathe. She had tried not to cry when Rey went to bed and Chewie had disappeared into the bathroom to talk to the police, leaving her alone.  
But now, lying in her bed with her head on her husband’s chest she couldn’t stop it anymore and her tears began to fall quickly and silently, soaking Chewie’s shirt and his chest. 

“What’s happened to our little girl?” She asked the dark room, her voice barely audible.

“I don’t know. But if I see that bastard I’ll kill him.” Chewie answered darkly, his words sharp and heavy. 

“I don’t think Rey would like that.” She muttered, almost to herself. It was meant to be a humorous comment to lighten the mood but both her and Chewie knew the truth; it truly would hurt Rey if Snoke died. 

“It’s what he deserves. Life in prison is too good for him.” His grip on her shoulders tightened as he spoke and Maz knew he wanted to go scoop Rey up from her bed and hold her too. 

“It’ll help her though if he goes away forever. She can move on from it.” She tried to reason, even as she silently agreed with him. 

“She won’t move on, not properly. You can’t walk away from something like that like it never happened.”

“You know what I mean.” Maz replied. Sometime when he was talking her tears had dried up, leaving her face sticky. 

A long silence stretched out between them and into the night. Maz could feel Chewie thinking beside her but she made no move to ask him what was going on, instead contenting herself with planning for the future. They would head back home now that Snoke had been arrested and the police would stop coming. Then Rey could go to therapy, her wrist would heal and they would live a peaceful life together as a family. Finn and Poe would marry and move out, as would Ben but Maz felt sure Rey would stay at home with them. She couldn’t fathom the idea that Rey would want to leave them, so soon after coming back home.

“I’ll kill Ben too.” Chewie said suddenly, interrupting her thoughts with how intense and serious he sounded.

“If you kill Ben you’ll kill Leia too. You know how badly she wants him in their lives, how much she missed him all those years.” Maz said, not defending Ben.

“I don’t care. He must’ve known something about what happened to her. Something more than we did.” He sounded so confident, so sure in what he was saying but Maz wasn’t convinced. Ben might be unfriendly and rude but even she couldn’t believe that of him, not truly. 

“If he knew, why would he be so sure she was dead?” She argued, unwilling to defend Ben to her husband.

“He might not’ve known everything. But how could he not have known something? Anything? For all we know he told Snoke about Rey and got her kidnapped!” Chewie’s voice got louder and his grip tightened on Maz until she was being crushed into his chest.

Abruptly she sat up to stare at him, unwilling to let him accuse Ben of that.

“There are a million different reasons why it might’ve happened. We both know that, better than anyone. You can’t put something like that on Ben.” Maz said, fighting to keep her voice steady and quiet as she spoke, even as he got angrier. He knew as well as she did how many things might’ve caused Rey to go missing. God knew they had thought about it often enough. 

“You’re just gonna defend him? Like we didn’t just find out he worked for Rey’s kidnapper?” He said incredulously, far louder than her. 

“I’ll defend him against you saying that he caused it. He’s not the sick bastard that took her.” 

“I didn’t say he caused it, I said he might’ve mentioned Rey, told Snoke about her who then decided to take her.” Chewie countered and Maz scoffed at him.

“Ben hadn’t spoken to his own mother in six years when Rey went missing. You really think he was just telling his boss all about the little girl who lived next door?”

“Yeah, maybe I do. There’s no way that man just saw Rey walking home from school and decided to snatch her up without thinking about it first, without knowing who she was before.”

“Well then why don’t we ask her? Snoke might’ve told her why and then you can stop blaming Ben for causing it.” She argued.

The fight went out of Chewie suddenly and he slumped back down against the pillows, his face visibly pale even in the dark. 

“I can’t believe you’re defending him.” He murmured, even as he opened up his arms for Maz to lie back down. Exhausted she welcomed his embrace and tucked her head into his chest. 

“Neither can I. But maybe it’s just some sick coincidence, him working for Snoke.”

“I don’t want it to be. I want answers.” Chewie said into her hair.

“We’ll get them. One day. We just have to be patient.” Maz said through a yawn and her eyes closed.

“I’m sick of being patient.” Chewie complained and she nodded sleepily, even as she silently disagreed. They had already done so much waiting, what was a little bit more?

-

For the first time in a long time Ben’s internal clock failed him and he slept for hours, only emerging long after his family had eaten and disappeared to do their own things without him. He couldn’t help but feel a little bit grateful at this but even with no one around the house it still felt hostile, as though the very walls were blaming him for what happened. 

It was enjoyable though, to eat standing in the doorway staring at the sea. Especially when Ben knew they would be leaving soon, now that Snoke had been arrested and he absolutely no desire to return here to see Luke. 

As if summoned by his thoughts Luke appeared at the bottom of the garden, carrying a basket full of unidentifiable plant life and frowning the moment he laid eyes on Ben. 

Without a second thought Ben turned around and walked back into the house. There had never been a time when he had wanted to speak to his Uncle but he definitely didn’t want to now; not after Luke’s deceptive apology Ben knew he didn’t really mean. 

Wandering back to his room with his half eaten cereal Ben let his mind wander, flitting about between things he needed to do and Snoke. 

Snoke lived in his thoughts all morning and eventually Ben gave up fighting it. He was a dark cloud hovering over Ben, one that he would have to try to live with, to mould his life around. 

Some half formed plan appeared in Ben’s brain and so he settled down in his room with the door open and a book on the force in his lap, vaguely thinking that Rey might walk past, see him and strike up a conversation. He was pretty sure if anyone could chase this could away even a tiny bit it would be her. 

The only interruption of his reading though came from a phone call later in the day, one that made his stomach churn. He kicked himself for not realising the police would want to talk to him but it truly hadn’t occurred to him and now he would have to drive to the station to be interviewed.

As a person of interest. As someone they thought was connected to this crime. 

Where Ben had hoped someone would chase the dark cloud away he found the sky darkening even more, the sunny views from his car as he drove up there in silence only serving to make him feel worse. He missed the simple pleasure of driving long distances to chase his thoughts away, or listening to loud music with Rey as he took her somewhere. Now he felt like he was being driven to his execution. Or at the very least to his interrogation. 

Ben was used to arriving at police stations and being greeted with contemptuous looks. No police officer liked the person who came to help criminals, but he had never had to experience it for such personal reasons. Now he was being stared at because they thought he was the criminal. 

As they left him alone in an interrogation room, full of cold and concrete, he tried to distract himself by working out exactly how many meters away from Alistair Snoke he was at that moment. This didn’t help to calm Ben though and only left him feeling slightly more flustered when he realised that Snoke couldn’t be more than two hundred meters away, a distance that Ben wished was considerably greater. 

When the door open to reveal those two detectives he forced his face into an impassive mask, one that he hoped would give away none of his inner turmoil and instead make him look cool and collected. In reality he just looked like a dickhead.

“Mr. Solo, pleasure to see you again. I’m Detective Erso, this is Detective Andor. We’re going to be interviewing you about the alleged kidnapper Alistair Snoke today.”  
The woman said briskly as they settled across from him. Andor said nothing, simply looked Ben over once from head to toe in a way that threatened to make Ben’s mask crumble immediately. 

“Great.” Ben said sarcastically, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands in his pockets.

“Interview commencing at 2:37pm. Present in the room are Detective Sergeant Jyn Erso, Detective Inspector Cassian Andor and Ben Solo, person of interest in the Kanata case.” Erso said in a smooth, practiced way as she turned on the tape recorder. 

“Mr. Solo, could you please describe for us how you met Alistair Snoke.” She asked coolly as Andor continued to eye him. 

“I met him in my first year of university, when I was already estranged from my family. He offered me part-time work at his firm while I was still studying and then after I graduated he offered me a senior job. I was like his, apprentice. His plan was that when he retired I would take over the company and find someone to train like he had with me.”

“So you were close?” Erso continued whilst Andor still sat there looking as though he wanted to be anywhere else. It was an interview tactic Ben knew well, one detective asking the questions until something important happened, when the other would then suddenly spring into action. He had seen it catch other people off guard, but he knew it wouldn’t work on him. 

“Yeah. He was the only person I was close to for years.”

“No friends?” 

“I didn’t have time for friends.” Ben answered, almost speaking the truth.

“What about co-workers? No colleagues you were close to?” 

Ben thought about Hux briefly but pushed that thought away. If they wanted to talk to Hux they could, he wasn’t about to drag his former colleague into anything. 

“There were a couple of people I got on with, but Snoke didn’t exactly encourage his employees to be friends with each other.”

“How would you describe Snoke? What comes to mind when you think of him?” Erso sounded almost patronizing when she spoke in a way that rubbed Ben the wrong way. She really had to work on her tactics for interviewing people of interest not children or victims. 

“Controlling. Manipulative. He always knew what buttons to push, exactly how to tear someone down and then what to say to build them back up. I didn’t have a life beyond my job for years.” Ben summarized, not keen to get into a whole breakdown of Snoke’s character. 

“Why did you leave?”

“I just, didn’t want to do it anymore. Nothing happened exactly, I just snapped and left.” Ben said truthfully, still not sure himself what had made him want to leave all of a sudden. 

“And moved back in with your parents? At thirty one?” He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at having his situation described like that, her patronizing tone making his situation sound even more embarrassing. 

“Yeah. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“And this was a few months before Miss Kanata’s escape.” Erso’s questions were clearly leading him somewhere and Ben stiffened minutely, on edge and prepared for whatever they might ask. 

“I didn’t know about what happened to Rey.”

“We’re not saying you did. We’re just trying to understand what went on.” She said unconvincingly. 

“What was your relationship with Miss Kanata like when you were younger?” Andor broke in, bringing the conversation back to where Ben knew they wanted it to be.

“We didn’t really have one. She was just Maz and Chewie’s daughter, my brother’s friend, the little girl next door. She was only eight when I went to uni.”

“How did you come to learn about her disappearance?” Erso asked like they didn’t already know, like it wasn’t on the system somewhere already, making him look heartless. 

“Finn called me to ask if I’d heard from her recently. I told he I hadn’t and not to call me again. I only found out on the news that evening.”

“You didn’t try to reconnect with your family after learning about it?”

“What could I have done?” Ben asked rhetorically and for a moment the detectives seemed to flounder. He knew he was coming off as cold and arrogant but he also knew they had nothing on him, he was a person of interest not a suspect and it was always better not to become emotional in interviews. No matter how unsympathetic he seemed. 

“And what about your relationship with Miss Kanata now? After all, you seem close enough to sit in on her interviews.”

“We’re friends.” Ben said immediately, keeping his face impassive even as the words rolled about in his head uneasily. Something about calling her a friend just wasn’t quite right.

“Close friends?” The word friend really wasn’t right. 

“Not really. She’s closer to my brother and her parents.”

“Did you ever discuss her disappearance with Mr. Snoke?”

For just a moment Ben tensed and his emotionless mask slipped from his face, his discomfort at being asked that clear to see. 

“Yes.”

“Please elaborate Mr. Solo.”

“It really fucked me up, learning that Rey went missing. Snoke noticed and asked me about it but after that conversation we never discussed her again. He never let me talk about any of my family to him.” Ben said snappily at them through clenched teeth, suddenly wanting the interview to be over. 

“What about Mr. Snoke’s family? Did he ever discuss that with you?”

“Not in detail. Sometimes I thought he was married, because of how he acted but mostly I thought he wasn’t.”

“How he acted?” Andor said, suddenly seeming far more interested in the interview. 

“He never went away on business trips, he never stayed late at the office even though he made everyone else stay for hours. When someone would ask him why he just said he couldn’t be away from home.”

“And so you assumed he had a wife? A family?”

“Yeah. I didn’t exactly think he couldn’t be away from home was because he had a girl locked in his basement.” Ben snapped. As a lawyer he had been able to handle endless, dense police questions but when they were directed towards him not a client he found his patience was quickly wearing thin. 

“Did you ever think about Mr. Snoke once you left his employment?”

“All the time. You can’t just walk away from the person who ran your life for years without a second thought.”

“Can’t you?” Detective Andor asked innocently. 

“I can’t.” He said definitively.

“Did you ever go to this house, Mr. Solo?” Detective Erso asked, turning over one of the pictures.

Ben didn’t lean forward to look at it, instead forcing himself to maintain his relaxed posture. Even from way back in his chair he could see that it was a picture of Snoke’s home, his massive family house in the suburbs.

“A few times. Sometimes he had important parties there, with clients and other companies.

“And you never noticed anything amiss while you were there?” Erso asked, her voice sweet and leading him on.

“No. Why would I?” Ben said, even as a part of him grew suspicious. 

“Rey Kanata was kept imprisoned in the basement of this house, for years. A house you visited multiple times.” 

He felt his face pale at her words and his heart fell to his shoes. He had been there while she was there, wining and dining while she was locked up like an animal. 

“If the police couldn’t find her for years, how could I find her while I was there for a company dinner party?” He asked sarcastically, desperately hoping they didn’t see how much this simple piece of news had affected him. 

The police shared a glance and Ben couldn’t help but smirk to himself. Clearly reminding them of the police failure in this case was a sore spot. 

“That will be all Mr. Solo.” Erso said as she picked the picture back up again and dismissed him.

Clenching his fists in his pockets Ben walked calmly out of the station and into his car, willing himself to hold it together until he was completely alone. As he finally sunk into the leather seat and slammed the door shut he let out the breath he was holding before smashing his fist onto the steering wheel.

“Shit.” He muttered to himself as he clutched it with his uninjured hand, trying to focus his mind on the dull ache in his knuckles not what the police had just told him.

He couldn’t have known. There was no way. Snoke had kept it hidden perfectly, never once slipping up and letting Ben onto it. If he had known he would’ve called the police and let them know straight away. Hell, he would’ve gone straight to that basement and taken Rey from it himself. 

Ben told himself this over and over again as he sat there in his car, hoping that if he said it enough times he would believe it. But sometimes it can only take one moment to make yourself doubt everything around you and Ben found himself completely unable to trust his recollection of events suddenly. 

Unconsciously Ben found himself twisting his fingers like he had seen Rey do in the past . He found there was nothing soothing in the gesture, if anything it only served to make him more anxious as both his hands began to hurt. Firmly planting them on his steering wheel Ben found himself driving away from the station before he even realised what he was doing, his mind still somewhere far behind his body. 

His brain didn’t catch up with the rest of him until he found himself in the carpark underneath his penthouse. Slumping further down into his seat Ben found himself finally able to calm down somewhat, only to realise when he calmed that he had no idea of what to do next.

He knew what he should do. Go back to Luke’s, clear the air with his family, move into a new place and try to come to some kind of peace with what had happened.  
But as he sat there in the dark car he found himself unable to muster the energy to do any of those things. Instead he was just about able to drag himself out of his car and into the lift. It was exhausting, he mused, to have to face your past and be told everything you thought you knew wasn’t true. Snoke had only ever been a cruel, manipulative lawyer with dodgy practices, not an evil kidnapper. 

Unlocking his door and stepping into his old home Ben felt like he had gone back in time. The place was stuffy but spotless and he vaguely remembered how he had hired a cleaner. He hoped they didn’t lose too much money when he eventually sold the place. 

With a sigh Ben settled onto his sofa, the leather creaking beneath him in protest and leant his head back to stare at the ceiling. After living at his parents homely, elegant house and Luke’s cluttered, cozy bungalow his own apartment seemed even colder and emptier. There were no pictures or knickknacks, no colour or warm memories. Just impersonal furnishings that had come with the place and a lot of memories of drinking too much and working out until he exhausted himself. 

The longer Ben sat on his sofa the more he realised how much he hated this place and began to day dream about what his new home would be like. It would be high up with large windows. Maybe a studio. With a nice kitchen so he could learn to cook properly. And a massive sofa so he could sprawl out in front of the TV. He wouldn’t get somewhere that came with furniture, he would force himself to chose everything in it so that it truly felt like his place and he might even get a houseplant. Only one though.

As he tried to plan out this small part of his future thoughts about Snoke would try and creep in to disturb his peace but Ben fought to keep them away. He would think about what to say to the other’s on the drive home and he would absolutely not analyse all of his memories for clues about Snoke’s real nature. 

Doing that would only lead to madness. 

It wasn’t until the sun began to set and Ben’s stomach hurt from hunger that he realised how long he had been sitting there in the growing darkness and he had to concede defeat. He wasn’t sure if it was legal to eat while driving but he would do it anyway and use the time to think of a little speech to say to everyone, especially given that he was starting his job soon and wouldn’t be at Luke’s anymore.

The thought of leaving Luke’s stung far more than he expected it to and the same confusion he had felt earlier came with it but Ben pushed that thought away. Considering that was for after he had tried to clear the air with everyone. Some things were more important. 

-

There is no reprieve for Ben when he returned. His whole family was sitting together watching the news with rapt expressions, their eyes only straying from the screen to glance at him when he walks in. It doesn’t take a genius to work out why; Alistair Snoke’s face was plastered on the news, a professional picture of him looking evil in a suit next to a picture of him looking ill in a mugshot and the most famous photo of Rey before her disappearance. The presenter was talking but it took Ben a moment to tune in to her words, the image of Snoke distracting him. 

“-has been charged with kidnap and false imprisonment. More charges are expected to follow to which Snoke will also plead not guilty. The Kanata family has asked for privacy during this time and Rey Kanata is not expected to make any public appearance-“

The presenter was cut off suddenly when Chewie grabbed the remote and muted her without warning, turning to face Ben slowly and with eyes full of malice. 

“Did you know?” He asks, each word sounding as though it physically hurts him. 

His hand grips Rey’s thigh as he speaks, her legs tucked against his. 

Ben can’t help himself when he speaks. He can’t help becoming defensive when attacked or standoffish when confronted. He never has been able to. 

“Know what?” Ben asked, feigning ignorance.

“You know damn well what.” Chewie continued, ignoring the warning hand Maz places on his shoulder. 

“You mean did I know about what he did? No.” Ben said definitively. Out of the corner of his eye he sees his mother visibly deflate with relief. 

“Really?” Chewie’s eyes narrow and he turned his body to face Ben fully, pulling Rey’s legs closer to him. “You didn’t know boss was a fucking kidnapper with my girl in his basement?”

“Dad.” Rey murmured, both of her hands moving to cover his but Chewie didn’t register her words. 

Ben watched as he tightened his grip on Rey minutely, clearly clinging onto her to stop himself from throwing himself at Ben.

Maybe another day Ben would try to handle this better, be the bigger person and diffuse the situation. But today he’s too tired, too offended, too full of shame to be like that and so he puffs up further, growing taller and wider as his eyes darken with anger. 

“No, I didn’t. You know I believed she was dead.” 

Someone sobs at his words but Ben can’t register who. All his focus is on Chewie’s rage filled eyes and Rey’s downturned face, looking at her father’s hand not Ben’s face. She doesn’t even look like she’s listening. 

“You knew he was evil though. You worked for him knowing he was a sick bastard!” Chewie doesn’t shout but his voice is full of nothing but hatred for Ben.  
Rey lifted her head at that, her father's shaking voice and condemnation of Snoke getting her attention. Ben couldn’t see her face but he wished he could. It felt wrong, to fight in front of her, about her. She’s too good and too fragile, she shouldn’t have to hear this.

Ben needs to say it though. He needs to defend himself and he can’t stop himself from speaking.

“Yeah, maybe I did know he was a fucking sick bastard and still worked for him. I was eighteen fucking years old! I had no friends, no family and he comes along and says I’m worth something. That I’m not a fucking failure and a disappointment and that I can be great! Of course I worked for him, he gave me something no one else did!”

“And you just believed him? He could twist your mind, just like that?” Chewie asked sarcastically.

“Yeah he could. It’s not hard to make someone alone and vulnerable believe anything you want them to.”

There’s a double meaning to Ben’s words that no one in the room misses. Ben wants to regret his words, it’s a low blow comparing what happened to Rey to what happened to him but he no longer has control of what he’s saying. The real Ben is somewhere far away, watching his body speak for him. 

Something in Chewie snapped at Ben’s words and his face went completely blank, his eyes suddenly empty. Even Rey’s hands clutching his or Maz’s grip on his shoulder didn’t seem to get through to him.

“How fucking dare?” Chewie rose from the sofa as he spoke but Ben didn’t flinch. He’ll punch him if he as to, if that’s what it takes for someone to believe him. 

“How fucking dare you compare her to you? His voice is soft and dangerous, putting Ben on edge. 

“Dad!” Rey shouted, both of her hands holding his and Chewie’s attention was instantly drawn to her, suddenly radiating concern. 

“Don’t.” She says, her eyes watery but her voice stern.

“Baby,” Chewie begins but Rey cuts him off.

“He didn’t know. He didn’t known about any of it. Please believe him.” Rey begs and Chewie is clearly no match for her hazel eyes or shaking lower lip.

Chewie seems to calm slightly as he holds her hands in his but Ben doesn’t deflate until Rey turns to look at him too, her belief in his innocence written all over her face. 

“Please don’t shout. I can’t stand it.” She says and both of their faces flush with shame. Ben feels like a teenager, fighting over which of them gets to be the king of the playground. 

The silence that fills the living room is excruciating and Ben is the weakest to withstand it. Without a second glance he turns around and walks back out again, shutting himself away again and wishing there was someone with him.

There isn’t anyone though and he is left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- rain.
> 
> i appear to have got on the ben solo pain train with no way of getting off it oops  
> next chapter will be nicer to make up for all this angst i promise!!  
> something about this chapter felt off to me? if anyone finds anything wrong with it or thinks it doesn't make sense please let me know! i have no beta and no one reads any of my chapters before i post them so sometimes theyre a bit weirdly written.


	37. Chapter 37

Someone knocking on his bedroom door was the first thing Ben Solo noticed when he woke up the next morning, followed quickly by a pounding headache and overwhelming brightness behind his eyelids. At first he couldn’t move, the light too bright and his limbs too heavy, but the knocking kept going and it was only making his headache worse. 

Groaning he hauled himself out of bed and tried to remember what happened yesterday. Sitting up made his vision swim but he couldn’t work out why he felt like shit until he stepped over an empty bottle of whiskey from one of Luke’s secret liquor cabinets lying by his bed. Clearly he was out of drinking practice and his body was protesting against it.

Swinging his door open with unnecessary force he was taken aback by the sight of Rey standing there, staring at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks. Glancing down Ben suddenly realised he lacked both a shirt and trousers and was standing in front of her in just his boxers, all his hungover glory and behead on display. Rey’s eyes were the size of saucers as she took him in for a moment before quickly looking away. Kicking himself internally Ben quickly grabbed a t-shirt from his back and pulled it over his chest, trying to regain some semblance of dignity. 

“Is everything ok?” He asked when his shirt was only half on and cringed at how rough his voice sounded.

“Uh, yeah.” Rey said, turning back to face him when she seemed confident he was dressed and aggressively blushing. “I thought you might be up.” She finished, apparently unsure of what to say. 

“I had a late night.” Ben didn’t quite consider this a lie, after all he didn’t really know when he had got to sleep. 

Rey stood there awkwardly and Ben noticed how she was already dressed, looking ready to head out.

“I wondered if you wanted to for a walk?” She asked quietly, already looking like she regretted it.

Ben was too stunned to answer for a moment, his hungover brain struggling to process everything that was going on. Between the hangover, the bright sun and Rey’s blush he really wasn’t finding thinking easy.

“Why?” He asked stupidly and then immediately kicked himself when Rey looked dismayed.

“Um, well Mum and Dad are taking me home tomorrow and you’re normally up really early like me...” Rey tailed off, seeming unsure of how to continue and Ben suddenly caught up with her, his mind screeching to a horrified stop. She was going home and he was going to be left with his Uncle and family. 

“You’re leaving?” He repeated dumbly.

“Uh, yeah.” Rey said. They both stared at each other for a moment and Ben cursed himself for ruining the normally peaceful atmosphere between them by making her uncomfortable.

“Give me five minutes, then I can come with you.” 

“Sure!” Rey said, her facing brightening with a smile.

Ben ran his tongue along his teeth and flinched at how gross they felt. Clearly he hadn’t been in a state to brush them last night.

“Maybe ten minutes actually.”

Rey chuckled and told him to come find her whenever he was ready.

-

It was deathly quiet in Luke’s house as Ben walked through it, the kind of quiet that comes when the sun had only just come up. He still felt as though all his organs had rotted but the pounding in his head was nearly gone and the sun wasn’t making him squint anymore. 

Rey was perched on the doorstep in her thick cardigan and watching the sky apprehensively, Glancing up he could see clouds on the horizon but quickly dismissed them. It wasn’t windy, they wouldn’t come closer.

“Hey.” Ben said softly, not wanting to scare Rey who seemed lost in thought. “Ready to go?”

“Yep.” She said, leaping up and smoothing her skirt, her ugly, black wrist splint peeking out from her sleeve as she moved.

Ben tried not to speak, wanting to preserve that quiet between them he enjoyed so much but he just couldn’t, his self-control breaking when they were half-way down the garden.

“Where are we going?” He asked, hoping she had something in mind.

“Last night Mum said there was a beach further down the coast. A proper big sandy one. I thought we could go to there?” Rey explained, looking up at Ben who smiled even as the mention of last night set off all kinds of emotions inside him. 

“Of course.”

Rey walked beside him, her arms swinging in time with her footsteps while Ben jammed his hands in his pockets to stop him from doing something stupid like holding her hand. He found as they walked that he wanted to ask about last night and what had happened after he left. He wanted to know if everyone agreed with Chewie or if someone had defended him. The words to ask wouldn’t come out properly though and he settled for asking something easier. 

“Why are you going tomorrow?”

Rey took a long time to answer and Ben began to worry she hadn’t quiet registered him speaking.

“Well, I have therapy tomorrow. And Dad doesn’t want to have to drive me all the way there and then all the way back here. So we’re just gonna stay at home.” She explained and Ben did a double take.

Last time she had gone to therapy had been when he had taken her, just before everything with the press broke out and forced everyone to come here. That meant he had been at Luke’s a week tomorrow without killing his Uncle. Ben had to admit to himself, that was pretty impressive stuff. 

“Your Dad’s taking you?” Ben asked conversationally. 

“Yeah. He wants to meet Mr. Malbus.” Rey explained, causing Ben to wrack his brain to try and work out who that was. Some vague memory of a long haired man who looked like he should have been an action hero not a therapist came to him.

“He hasn’t met him yet?” Ben felt confused. He would’ve expected Chewie to have run every kind of possible check on Rey’s therapist and probably threatened him a few times before letting Rey anywhere near him. 

“I didn’t really want him to.” Rey said quietly, an answer that intrigued Ben.

“Why not?”

Rey sighed softly and turned her face to the sky, her face clear. They stopped walking as she sorted through her thoughts and Ben could almost see it happening inside her mind, everything being arranged and tidied until she could make sense of it. 

“It’s like, he’s my dad. And I don’t want him to know what it’s like in my head. I don’t want him to feel like I need help.” 

Ben wasn’t quite sure what she meant but he nodded anyway as they resumed walking, assuming the conversation was over. He was about to ask her about the funny birds that were nesting beneath them when she spoke.

“And it’s nice, to talk to someone who doesn’t known my parents.” She said and Ben immediately understood. Hadn’t that been at the root of why he had cut them all off? Not wanting people to know who his parents were? Not wanting to be associated with retried politician turned philanthropist Leia Organa or racing driver turned mechanic Han Solo?

“You didn’t mind me meeting him?”

“No. It’s not really the same.” Ben didn’t know what that meant.

“You should try it sometime.” Rey said unexpectedly, looking back up at Ben earnestly.

“Try what?”

“Therapy. It’s feels nice, to talk to someone about things. About what’s in your head.”

Ben wants to dismiss the idea but he found he couldn’t, not when she was genuinely trying to be helpful and he was suddenly being reminded of too many things to keep track of. His anger, his emptiness, the heavy guilt he was struggling to carry. 

There were too many things he had to consider now though, like moving out and his new job. Finding someone to talk to could come later, when he was more settled and secure.

“And what’s in your head?” Ben asked lightly, trying to move the conversation away from himself.

Rey chuckled lightly and kicked a stone down the path.

“Sometimes there’s a lot, sometimes it’s very empty. Mr. Malbus says it was a way for me to cope, emptying my head and just doing everything like a zombie.” Rey’s voice got very quiet as she confided in him and her words made Ben feel lost, entirely unsure of himself. 

“Did it help? Being a zombie?” He asked gently, fighting the urge to glance at her and keeping his eyes to himself.

“I think so. But I don’t want to be like that now that I’m not there.”

Ben didn’t reply, just hummed non-committally and kept walking until the beach they were heading towards came into view. Rey’s pace slowed down as she became tired but she didn’t tell him to stop or ask for a rest so they kept going. Ben sensed a kind of determination from her, as if this was something she was definitely going to do, no matter how tired she was. He couldn’t understand the significance of wanting to walk to a beach but he didn’t ask. There had been enough talking about heavy subjects. 

There are already people on the beach by the time they get there, families with young children running around and surfers in the sea but they still find a quiet spot near the cliff and Ben didn’t think once about his expensive trainers or black jeans when he settled down on the sand.

Rey sat down beside him and immediately buried her hands in the sand, digging around in it and letting it fall through her fingers endlessly. He watched the surfers from his spot beside her and tried for as long as possible not to break the silence, keeping his mouth shut until he ran out of patience.

“What happened yesterday? After I left?” He asked, one of many questions he wanted the answer to.

Rey sighed and pushed both her hands as deep into the sand as she could.

“Dad kept apologizing to me for scaring me. Then Leia cried. Then Mum told Dad off for going at you like that, saying that they’d ‘talked about that’. Then Leia stopped crying and told Dad off for blaming you. I went to bed after that but they kept talking. It was all a bit of a mess.” Rey explained. Ben felt something warm unfurl inside him at the news his mother had defended him. He hadn’t really expected that.

“My Mum believed me?” Ben asked, seeking reassurance.

“Yeah, I think so. She was crying quite hard so I couldn’t really hear her.”

Even the thought of his mother crying couldn’t dampen Ben’s spirits, not when he knew she backed him up.

Suddenly filled with energy Ben sat forward and began tugging his trainers off.

“Come on.” He said enthusiastically as he rolled up his jeans.

“What are you doing?” Rey asked hesitantly, pulling her hands out of the sand. 

“Going in.” 

Ben sprung to his feet and reached his hand down to pull Rey up. She paused to think for the shortest of moments before kicking off her shoes and taking his hands. He didn’t let go of her as they walked to the water, the feeling of her fingers in his making him feel anchored and purposeful. 

It had been years since he was last at a cold English beach and he flinched when he stepped into it. He refused to back down though and kept going until his ankles were submerged and he began to worry about his feet falling off from the cold. Turning around he saw Rey sticking her big toe into the shallowest part, her body leaning towards his arm when she touched the cold.

“Come on it, the water’s lovely.” Ben joked as he tugged lightly on her hand.

Her grip on him tightened but she stepped forward to join him, her little feet next to his larger ones distorted by the water he’s looking through. The sun shined weakly on them as they stood there and Ben couldn’t help a sigh of contentment escaping him. Perhaps his mistakes in the past hadn’t ruined every moment.

“Are you feeling better?” Rey asked suddenly and Ben turned down to look at her, her eyes wide and concerned.

“Better?” Ben didn’t quite understand her question.

“This morning, you looked a bit ill.” She explained and Ben laughed awkwardly, not wanting to remember earlier.

“Yeah I am. I was just a bit hungover, that’s all.” He explained and Rey relaxed beside him again. He felt guilty for a moment for worrying her for a moment but then pushed the thought away harshly. He wouldn’t feel guilty right now.

When his feet were numb Rey let go of his hand and started to go deeper, her skirt allowing her to go further than him. He watched he tentative steps intently as the police detectives words fluttered back into his head. 

Friends.

Ben hadn’t ever had friends, not real, proper friends that you called family and loved like they were part of you. Despite this though he was sure that the way he felt around Rey wasn’t something that came through friendship. This protectiveness, this desire to make her happy and the urge to make sure she was safe didn’t seem like something that a friend would feel for someone they hardly knew. 

But Ben pushed these thoughts away too, unwilling to overthink this like he had with so many other things before. Besides, he could be wrong. He had never had a friend before after all. 

He glanced up at the sky and immediately frowned. Somehow the dark clouds had crept closer while they weren’t looking and now seemed distinctly threatening. 

Worried, Ben looked for Rey and his heart stopped for a moment when he couldn’t see her straight away. She was there though, her skirt lifted up around her thighs and her thin legs kicking at the water. 

“Rey!” Ben called, not noticing the way two of the surfers looked towards them. She turned around to face him and the smile on her face drove all of Ben’s worries about the rain from his mind for a moment.

A sudden rumble of thunder renewed his urgency and Ben stuck his hand out and grasped onto her tightly when she was in reach.

“What is it?” Rey asked in a panic and Ben relaxed his grip somewhat.

“I think it’s gonna rain. We’d better head back before we get soaked.”

Rey nodded with wide eyes and Ben lead her back to their shoes, cursing his spontaneity when he forced his wet, sandy feet into socks. The rain drops began to fall on them just as Rey was getting back up but instead of making a move to leave like the others on the beach she stuck her hand out to catch them with a face full of wonder and shining eyes.

“I haven’t seen the rain yet.” Rey murmured as she tilted her face up to the sky. She looked beautiful, he realised, lost in her own little moment.

Water ran down her skin as Ben felt himself get wetter and the rain got heavier, chilling him.

“Rey,” Ben said quietly, his voice pulling her back to reality, hair from her three buns sticking to her face, “we really have to go, before we get pneumonia.”

Rey’s face fell for a moment before being replaced with a tiny, cheeky smile and she suddenly grabbed his hand and began to run along the beach to the cliff, pulling him along.

Ben was too stunned to move for a second before he caught up with her, his legs moving far faster than hers. Before he truly realised what was happening they were running along the beach in the rain, his hand intertwined with hers and laughter escaping both of them. He tried to focus on every detail he could take in as they moved, desperately wanting to remember all of it. He was certain he had never felt so carefree in his life.

Rey was panting by the time they were back on the cliff path and Ben slowed down after sneaking a glance at her and seeing how exhausted she looked. He walked along briskly although he wanted to run, but even he, a city dweller through and through, knew they shouldn’t run along the cliff. 

It had felt like such a long walk to the beach but as they hurried through the rain Luke’s house appeared on the horizon quicker than Ben expected. He thanked whatever deity existed for this as Rey’s hand felt like ice and he was pretty sure he could hear her teeth chattering above the sound of pouring rain. They stumbled up the garden path together, slipping about on wet grass in sandy shoes and panting as they could finally take over underneath the back door awning. 

“Wow.” Rey said breathlessly, her chest heaving with what Ben knew was unaccustomed to exercise. Her cheeks were flushed though and her eyes bright as she watched the rain fall in sheets, weeks of sun brought to a crashing end by an unexpected storm. 

Both of them were soaked through and Ben tugged her into the house, her hand still firmly held in his, the silence of the house welcoming them warmly. 

“Here.” Ben said, letting go of her to hand her a towel. He wrapped another around her shoulders as she shivered.

She looked smaller when she was soaking wet. He didn’t know if he liked it. 

As he stripped off his shoes and jacket he watched her towel her hair dry. Sensing his eyes on her she looked up, wet hair in her eyes and smiled self-consciously. He held her gaze and collected this moment inside him, adding it to his collection.

“What happened to you two?” A sudden voice asked and he turned around to see a disgruntled Finn standing in the kitchen doorway and frowning at them.

They were both silent for a moment as Rey held her towel to her chest and Ben tried to catch up with what was going on.

“We got caught in the rain.” He said as an explanation, gesturing to their soaked clothes and the puddle that had formed on the floor beneath them. 

“Why were you outside? It’s like seven in the morning.” Finn complained, side stepping the water and reaching for the kettle.

“Morning people.” Ben shrugged and watched as Rey tip toed out of the kitchen, leaving behind her a trail of wet footprints. 

“Coffee?” Finn offered, seeming unbothered by Ben and Rey’s antics. 

“Nah, I’m okay.” Ben said, his hangover completely cured.

-

The closer they got to Rey’s therapist office, the more nervous Chewie grew. All through packing yesterday and saying goodbyes that morning he had stayed calm but the more miles that had come between Luke’s home and them he more anxious he grew. 

As they drove along quite motorways he gripped his steering wheel and glanced as Rey in the backseat who was watching the drizzle fall with vacant eyes. Maz was fast asleep beside him and he was left with his thoughts.

It wasn’t like he didn’t think Rey should be seeing someone; on the contrary he fully supported it. There was care he and Maz couldn’t give her and he was glad that the police had been able to set her up with a professional so quickly, especially when there were no professionals who specialized in long term kidnapping victims. 

Instead Rey was seeing someone who tended to help victims of child abuse or sexual trauma and he hated the fact that she fitted into that category. 

He had yet to meet this man who was helping her yet and this also made Chewie nervous. He wasn’t sure that Rey would ask to change if she didn’t like who she was seeing and so he felt the need to scope the situation out himself, just to check she was comfortable. 

These were only a few of the reasons he felt anxious as he drove but they were the most pressing in that moment. Sure, he wasn’t happy about Rey going on a walk alone yesterday and getting caught in the downpour, or how she seemed sad to when saying goodbye to Ben as they left but these didn’t matter right now. 

When the streets became more suburban and the therapist’s office was coming closer he could feel his heartrate creeping up and he willed himself to stay calm before he had a heart attack. As he parked the car across the street he glanced at Maz who was still fast asleep.

“Maz? We’re here.” He said gently as he shook her knee, her eyes unfocused as she blinked herself awake and took in her surroundings. 

“Are you both coming in?” Rey asked nervously from the depths of the waterproof jacket Poe had leant her and Chewie made a mental note that she needed more clothes. 

“No, I’m gonna come in and Mum’s gonna go home. She’ll pick us up at the end of your session.” He explained. Rey had asked for at least one of them to stay in the waiting room and the night before they had had an intense, whispered fight about which of her parents got to stay.

Rey nodded and set her shoulders back, heading towards the building. Chewie dropped a kiss onto Maz’s head before falling her, holding the door for her and telling the receptionist who she was like Rey had asked him to.

When Rey’s name was called and her therapist emerged Chewie had the oddest moment of deja-vu. Something about him seemed familiar but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. 

“Lovely to see you again Rey.” He greeted them and Chewie felt Rey relax marginally beside him. “Is this you father?” He asked and Chewie stepped forward with a hand extended.

“Chewie.” He introduced himself and they shook hands firmly. It wasn’t some assertion of dominance but a sign of respect.

“Baze Malbus. Will you be staying in the waiting room during the session?” Mr. Malbus asked, his voice full of a compassionate professionalism that Chewie appreciated. 

“I will.” He replied, not asking permission.

“Well then, we’d better go.” Mr. Malbus smiled at Rey, his eyes crinkling pleasantly, “if you want to step out at any point for a break or leave early, just tell me and you can.” He said as they stepped into an office down the hall, not quite shutting the door behind them.

Chewie relaxed into a chair and mentally ticked off one of his worries. This therapist seemed genuine and helpful and Rey had been relaxed around him. There was no way to know if she was getting better after three sessions but he could very well imagine that her reintroduction to society would by easy with someone trained to help her. 

Sighing Chewie pulled a batter paperback he had nicked from Luke’s out of his jacket and pocket and starting reading, trying very hard not to listen to the voices floating down the corridor and failing utterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Rey in therapy
> 
> i wrote this in little chunks over like five days so i hope it doesnt seem disjointed  
> i also realised how limited in my vocabulary is in this chapter. the only words i know are softly and gently it turns out.   
> but finally!! an interaction between rey and ben appears!!  
> hope ur all having a lovely day!!


	38. Chapter 38

It would be a lie if Baze Malbus said he looked forward to his sessions with Rey Kanata. He always had the worry that he would hurt one of his patients rather than help them and this fear was only magnified with her. She was very reserved, years of hiding her emotions making it harder for him to know how to proceed throughout their time together. The fact she was coming back though was a good sign. Baze didn’t want to boast too much, but he really was good at his job.

“It’s really lovely to see you again, Rey. I’m glad you felt comfortable coming back.” Baze said as he settled himself down in his chair. Rey sat down across from him on the little sofa, sinking into it more easily than she had done in their previous sessions.

“Hi.” She said nervously.

He pulled out his notebook and set it down on his lap, just in case and took a moment to take her in. The little trip to the seaside seemed to have done her good, there was more colour in her cheeks and she didn’t seem to be drowning in her clothes quite as much.

For a moment Baze considered where to start their session, a hundred different topics of conversation seemed important. One stuck out slightly more than the others though.

“I saw the news, about Mark.” He began, watching her face carefully. Rey shifted around minutely and a tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows. “Do you want to talk about that?” He asked.

Rey immediately shook her head as her gaze rested on her toes and Baze wrote that down. She had declined at talk about her kidnapper in each of their sessions so far and it seemed today would be no different.

“We won’t talk about him then.” Baze reassured her. “How was your trip?”

“Nice. Windy.” Rey said brightly, her face relaxing.

“You stayed with your neighbour’s brother if I remember rightly?” He continued, glad of a topic she was happy to discuss.

“Yeah, Uncle Luke. He’s Leia’s twin but he’s still my family too, y’know.”

Baze had done his research on Rey when he found she would become his patient but there was very little out there on Luke Skywalker. Plenty on the illustrious Leia Organa-Solo but not on her brother beyond the extraordinary situation of their separation and reunion.

“And Leia came with you didn’t she?”

“They all did. Leia and Han and Finn’s fiancé and Ben.” Rey explained.

“How did you find living with all of your family, not just your parents?” Baze asked, careful to refer to them in the same way she did.

Rey was quiet, looking absent mindedly around the room as she searched for the right word.

“Odd.” She eventually settled on.

“But it wasn’t necessarily bad?” Baze pushed. He had been so against the idea of her going off somewhere more unknown with more people but she didn’t seem to have been too deeply affected by it.

“I guess not. It was like, there were so many people and so much space but Uncle Luke has so many collections of things. I never really knew who to look at or where to be.”

“Did you find it overwhelming at all?”

“Sometimes. Meals were awful, everyone was there for them.”

Baze nodded seriously and jotted down about meals. This had already come up last week but he was beginning to suspect that eating was causing Rey problems beyond simply being overwhelmed by the presence of people.

“You said last week that when you were overwhelmed at home you would go to you room and be alone? Did you do that at all at Uncle Luke’s?” He prodded gently.

“I tried, but it wasn’t the same.”

“Not the same how? You didn’t feel as alone?”

“Yeah, it felt like there was someone near me.”

“ Did that make it harder for you to calm down?”

“I’m just, used to being alone. Even in my room I still feel like there’s someone else there?”

“Because you know they’re in the house?” Baze asked, an idea beginning to form in his head.

Rey nodded in response and he saw how her eyes drifted away, her focus no longer on the room or the conversation. He sat quietly until she came back, knowing that she needed a little break from speaking for a while.

“Do you ever think about moving out Rey?” He said when she was more focused, trying to gauge her reaction.

“Yes. I don’t want to live with my parents forever.”

“But do you ever think about moving out sooner, not years in the future.” He continued, his notepad forgotten for a moment.

Rey nodded almost guiltily, as if she was confessing something secret to him.

“Do you think that would help? Living in your own space like you used to, not in someone else’s house where you only have your own room.”

Rey was quiet for a long time, visibly thinking.

“I don’t know.” She said eventually, looking down at her clasped hands. “I like knowing that my parents are close by. But I miss being able to choose everything I do.”

“Do you feel like you had more freedom before you came back?” Baze asked, politely.

“I guess.” Rey shrugged. “I didn’t feel like there were people around me.”

“In a goo way or a bad way?”

“Both.”

“If it was completely up to you and your parents had no say in what happened, would you want to live on your own?” An idea was beginning to emerge in Baze’s head that he thought could be genuinely beneficial for her.

“Maybe.” She said, looking apprehensive.

“What would be stopping you?”

“Bad things.” Rey said, pausing for a long while before continuing, her voice unsure. “Like panicking or getting hurt and not having anyone there.”

Baze wrote a couple of things down, giving Rey time to recover from having to introspect like that. He knew that it could be difficult for people to have to consider themselves in that way, especially after going through something traumatic. When he looked back up she seemed calm and collected and so he cautiously broached his new idea.

“Have you ever heard of an assisted living facility Rey?”

Rey shook her head but looked intrigued. Baze took a moment to gather his thoughts and work out the best way to explain it without overwhelming her.

“They’re these places, like a big apartment block that people live in, in their own flats. But there are also lots of people like nurses and therapists who work there. People who need extra support can live there and be independent whilst also having the option to ask for help if they need it.”

“What kind of people?” She asked, leaning forward slightly.

“All sorts. Young people who’re leaving the care system, people who have had accidents or serious medical problems, people who have left abusive relationships or have had mental health problems.” He explained, working to keep his tone light as he spoke.

This was a big thing to suggest to her but Baze genuinely felt like it would be a way for Rey to grow up. After all, she had been living independently in so many ways for years and had now been thrown back home and forced into following other people’s routines.

“So, I could live on my own? But not on my own?” She said tentatively.

“Essentially. The flats have little kitchens, bathrooms and living spaces. There are curfews and check-ins but you would choose all your meals, when you get up and go to bed. And you’d be completely alone in your flat if you wanted.”

Rey sat back in her chair and looked away from him as the cogs visibly turned in her head. He was silent for several minutes as he thought and Baze wished she was a more verbal person and would tell him what was happening in her head more.

“You don’t have to decide anything anytime soon. But I wanted to know that options like this exist. You don’t have to be with your parents or completely on you own, there are middle grounds.” He reassured.

“I’m not sure my parents would like it.” Rey said quietly, sounding rather despondent.

“Maybe not, but parents don’t always like every decision their child makes. I know my parents hated it when I grew my hair long and married a man.” He chuckled and Rey smiled a tiny bit. “We can’t make all our choices based on what they will or won’t like, sometimes we have to make them based on what’s best for us.

“What if they won’t let me move out?” Rey asked, her tone serious.

“You’re an adult Rey, you have every right to make your own decisions about where to live.”

Baze felt glad she seemed to be genuinely considering assisted living. If she was feeling so overwhelmed and stifled being with her parents but was afraid of living completely on her own he really did feel like this was a good choice for her.

“Let me get you some information about this idea Rey and then you can think about it some more. You don’t have to decide until you feel completely ready.”

She nodded solemnly and he got up from his chair to go to his desk, pulling out a few pages of information about the facility he visited once a week as well as general information about what life was like at these places.

Returning to his seat he handed them to her, pointing at the one on top.

“I work there once a week providing sessions exactly like this to a few residents. It’s a really lovely place.” Baze smiled as he spoke and meant what he said.

“Can I take these home?” Rey asked, looking up from the little pile in her lap.

“Of course. Do you think I could have a few words with your father before you leave?” He asked as they got up. There was still lots of time left in their sessions but he had just dropped a lot of information on her after making her talk for a long time and he felt it was best not to push things for any longer.

“About this?” She asked, gesturing to her things.

“No, I won’t mention the assisted living. It’s just about a couple of things generally.” He explained and she visibly relaxed, clearly worried about her father finding out.

They stepped out of his office and Mr. Kanata immediately leapt up from his chair, standing tall and towering over the room. Baze couldn’t help but wonder if everyone in Rey’s family were this big. Both her next door neighbors had been muscled and Ben Solo had been only slightly shorter than Mr. Kanata.

“Is everything all right?” He asked as they approached, eyeing the paper’s Rey was clutching to her chest.

“Quite alright, Mr. Kanata. I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment?” Baze asked as Rey drifted away to look at the posters in the waiting room.

“Is there something wrong with her?” The worry in Mr. Kanata’s voice was clear to hear when he spoke again and Baze rushed to reassure him.

“She’s doing very well. I just wanted to talk to you for a moment about everything as he haven’t met yet.” Baze explained, this kind of conversation a regular practice with some of his patients.

“Is she getting better?” Mr. Kanata asked.

“What we’re doing here, it’s not really a case of Rey getting better necessarily. It’s about helping her recover and acclimate back into society. She most likely won’t ever be like someone her age who never went through this experience but this doesn’t mean she won’t live a fulfilled, happy life.” Baze said, trying to emphasis this point. He didn’t want Mr. Kanata walking away with ideas about Rey magically becoming some regular person who had never suffered.

“Ok.” Mr. Kanata said, seeming at a loss for words and Baze took this as his cue to end the conversation.

“It was lovely meeting you Mr. Kanata, I hope you have a nice day.” Baze said before quickly retreating to his office.

He could distantly hear the sounds of Rey and her father leaving after making another appointment for the same time the next week and Baze slumped down into his chair when the building door shut. It was still just as draining as his last sessions had been and he found himself picking up the phone, wanting to speak to his husband for a few moments before the next person came in, that always things seem better.

-

It took Ben exactly ten minutes after Rey and her parents left to decide he needed to move out completely. The atmosphere at Luke’s without those three extra people in the house was suffocating to an extent he couldn’t handle. Even returning back to the city and his parents house seemed too much and before he really knew what was happening he found himself looking for a new home.

It took him another twenty minutes to find himself a new flat. It turned out when money was no objects and his tastes were modest it didn’t take long to find a nice, top floor studio that came unfurnished and with an almost equal distance to his parents house and his new job.

The tricky bit he quickly decided was not finding somewhere to live but telling his mother he would be moving out. Ben and no doubt that she would be happier without his depressing presence haunting their basement but he also knew she would worry he was cutting them off again. Maybe he would eventually, but for some strange reason he wanted to keep in contact with them all. He couldn’t quite work it out though.

Sometimes he wondered if it was because he had grown to like his family but that couldn’t actually be true.

After a long, protracted conversation with an estate agent who Ben had to reassure repeatedly that he didn’t want to negotiate a lower price and that he really did want to move in as soon as possible, preferably tomorrow, Ben found himself looking for his mother.

Leia was working at the dining table, pages of documents spread around her and about fifteen tabs open on her computer. As he gingerly approached her she looked up, her smile falling when she took in his somber face.

“Ben? Is everything ok?” She asked nervously.

“Yeah everything’s fine.” He said, stepping into the room and resting his hands on the back of a chair. “I’ve just got some news is all.”

“Good news?” Leia looked more apprehensive by the second.

“Good news, yeah.”

“Don’t look so worried darling. I won’t bite.” She joked, even if her jollity seemed forced.

“Well, basically I got a new job. And I found a new place to live. That I’m moving into. Tomorrow.” Ben said, speaking so fast he was sure no one could actually understand him.

Leia blinked for a second as she took in his words, different facial expressions running across her face. She seemed to go through each of the ten stages of grief before she spoke again.

“Right. When did any of this happen?” She asked.

“I got the job last week. And I found the flat about half an hour ago.”

“That quickly?” She asked skeptically.

“Yeah. I mean, the place isn’t cheap but that doesn’t matter to me.” Ben elaborated.

“What, what’s the job?” Leia asked, still seeming a bit dumbfounded and Ben regretted dropping all of his news on her in one go.

“It’s in the legal department of a non-profit. The Jedi Order.” Ben said, really hoping she hadn’t heard of it.

Ben had no such luck and Leia’s face lit up at his words, the big smile overtaking his face making him regret his job rather than feel proud of it.

“Qui-Gon Jinn’s company? Oh Ben, that’s wonderful news. You’ll love it there, it’s so relaxed and friendly.”

Relaxed and friendly were not words Ben would use to describe his ideal working environment but Ben let it slide. 

“You know him?” Ben asked, beginning to regret his job choice.

“Of course! The Resistance wouldn’t be what it is without his help.” Leia enthused as Finn and Poe walked into the room.

“Whats up with The Resistance?” Poe asked, clearly intrigued by the mention of the charity he also worked for.

“Ben’s going to be working for Qui-Gon Jinn. I was just telling him about how much he helped us.”

“You got a new job?” Poe asked, his eyes narrowed.

“Yeah.” Ben said, his voice stiff.

“And a new house!” Leia continued, the brightness in her voice sounding slightly forced.

“’Bout time too.” Poe muttered sourly and Leia bristled immediately.

“Poe!” She admonished him but it had no effect.

“What? He’s been living in your house for months doing absolutely nothing! You don’t even charge him rent!”

“So? We don’t charge you and Finn rent either.” Leia sounded hurt by Poe’s words and as much as Poe was getting to him, he couldn’t help but enjoy the idea of his mother being offended on his behalf. She never used to when he was younger.

“Yeah but that’s different.” Poe dismissed.

“How is that different?”

“You need us to live with you. You don’t need him.” Poe nodded at Ben as he spoke, his voice venomous.

Ben clenched his fist and stared at Poe silently, his breathing harsh. He could see his mother growing emotional from the corner of his eye but he took no notice, instead spinning on his heel and stalking out of the room, using every argument he could think of to justify not punching Poe.

Behind him the angry voices of his family floated down the corridor but he kept walking until he was shut in his room and blindly throwing his stuff into his bag.

With frustrated sigh he flopped backwards, the bedframe protesting his weight and scrubbed a hand over his face. He glanced at his overflowing bag and sighed again. He would have to actually pack it properly if he wanted to be able to actually fit everything back into it.

Lying there he allowed himself to think about what Poe had said for a moment. As hard as he wanted to think he was, Ben was still hurt. It might have been true that his parents didn’t need him. That didn’t stop Ben from feeling put out by Poe acknowledging that.

Grumbling to himself Ben hauled himself back up and started to pack properly, folding clothes and tucking them away, determined to leave as soon as possible. He’d spend a night at his parents to get his stuff then go to his new place. All he needed was a mattress really.

A sudden noise from his phone broke Ben out of his reverie but the name that lit up his screen made him smile.

**_Rey_ **

_finn told me about u getting a flat_

_congratsss!!!_

_Thank you. How are you?_

_good_

_just got home from therapy_

Ben’s finger hovered over his keyboard for a moment before replying. Would it be too invasive to ask her how her session went? Or would it be caring and polite?

_How was it?_

_good_

_i think i rlly like mr malbus_

_gave me lots to think about_

_In a good way?_

_probably_

_how r things at lukes_

_Fine._

_I mean, me and Poe had a run in just now but that’s normal for us_

_i thought poe was nice????_

_He is, he just doesn’t like me very much._

_why not?_

_I am quite unlikeable._

_oh_

_are u ok?_

_Yes, I’m fine._

_:)_

_good luck with ur flat_

_Thank you._

Ben dropped his phone back on his bed and continued packing when Rey didn’t say anything more is spirits a little bit lightened by her interest in his life. He consciously fought not to allow what Poe had said get to him, after all he knew better than anyone how things were said in anger that weren’t really meant. Besides, it was a true stamen that even he knew. His parents would never have been ok if Finn had left, not after Rey disappeared and Ben fucked off and Poe was graceful enough to live with his fiancé’s parents rather than wat a place of his own.

When everything was in his bag and he had grabbed his stuff from the bathroom Ben headed straight for his car. He didn’t feel the need to say goodbye to anyone, the note on his chest of drawers more than enough explanation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- Leia has a friend over
> 
> sorry for the longer update   
> i was actually writing the next chapter of my other fic that i havent updated in like 100 years  
> i hope u enjoyed this little update and where things r going!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of physical abuse, sexual abuse and rape. no detail or explanations but it is mentioned

It felt very, _very_ good to be back home. That wasn’t to say that Leia hadn’t enjoyed their time at her brother’s but still, coming home always felt good no matter where you had been.

The house was emptier now though.

Ben had left as quickly as he had come home and Leia immediately felt the loss. It didn’t matter that she had his new address on the fridge or his number in her phone; where he had once been sulking in the basement he was now a drive away in the city. Logically she knew he was staying in their lives but she still felt as though he had been lost again.

Aimlessly Leia flutter about the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring. The moment they had returned Han had disappeared to the shop, Poe had gone to check on things at the office and Finn had gone to the supermarket with Rey, leaving her at home.

When the doorbell finally rung Leia rushed over to it and flung the door open, overjoyed to see Amilyn standing there with a cake tin Leia knew was full of questionable baked goods. Maz and Amilyn were Leia’s very oldest friends from her days of activism and law-breaking in her youth, although they had never met each other. Maz had moved in slightly shadier circles, helping to run a cantina that Leia was pretty certain also ran drugs through it whilst Amilyn had been a bit fancier, going to university and helping to run organizations that hoped to bring the system down. Even when everything involving Rey happened they had somehow simply never crossed paths.

“Leia!” Amilyn greeted her and Leia immediately drew her into a tight hug.

“Oh it’s so good to see you.” Leia gushed as she ushered Amilyn into the kitchen. “It feels like it’s been months, what with one thing and another.”

“It has been months.” Amilyn said as she set her tin down and sat down, her hair brighter than Leia remembered it. “First you had that trouble with the charity, then I moved to a different doctor’s surgery and now there’s all this. It’s been at least three months since we did this.”

Leia sighed as she leant back in her chair with her tea. The chaos of Rey’s return had completely driven away all the memories of all those problems. A few issues with some lawyers at her charity was nothing compared to what had happened recently.

“How is everything here?” Amilyn asked and Leia smiled. She could tell Amilyn was feigning nonchalance and secretly wanted to hear the gossip.

“Did you hear about the engagement?” Leia asked and Amilyn immediately broke out into laughter.

“Of course I’ve heard about the engagement!” She chuckled and Leia blushed a bit. “Between you and Poe never shutting up about it I’m sure everyone in the city has heard about it.”

“Am I not allowed to be excited about my son getting married?” Leia asked, pretending to be offended.

Yes, of course you can. What else has happened?”

“Ben moved out. He has a new job too.” She said optimistically.

Amilyn could see through Leia’s wall perfectly though and smiled somewhat sadly.

“He’ll be around. It won’t be like it was before.” She said gently and Leia nodded.

“I know, I know. And he’ll be much happier in his own space but still, I’ll miss him.” Leia admitted, drinking her tea while she spoke.

Amilyn hummed to herself as Leia reached for some cake. Although her friend had no children of her own Leia knew she still understood all that Leia had felt surrounding Ben. She had seen the guilt Leia felt after sending Ben away and the heartbreak after he had cut them off in revenge, followed by the lightness of Ben’s unexpected return a few months ago. It had lifted a burden from Leia, one that all the fights in the world couldn’t ruin and her friend had witnessed it all. 

“How’s everything next door?” Amilyn asked and Leia smirked as they cut to the chase.

“Quiet.” Leia said. It was hard to describe what was going on, it was still so surreal.

“Just quiet?” Amilyn prompted.

“Well, Rey doesn’t really go out much and Maz and Chewie are quiet neighbors, always have been.”

They drank in silence and Leia could sense Amilyn waiting for enough time to elapse to prompt her again.

“How are you coping?” She asked bluntly and Leia couldn’t help but sigh. She knew there was no point in trying to hide anything from Amilyn, they knew each other too well for that.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s wonderful to have her home, it really is. But it’s not how I thought it would be.”

“You thought it would be all sunshine and rainbows and happily ever after?” Amilyn chuckled and Leia blushed a little bit at how foolish she had been.

“A little bit. I never thought it would be easy but I thought it would be, happier. Sometimes I look at Rey and I think she doesn’t even want to be here.” Leia confessed, only feeling a slight amount of guilt about gossiping about Rey like this.

“ ‘Here’ as in when you were all at Luke’s, or ‘here’ as in not in some pedophile’s basement?” Leia said and Leia flinched internally at her wording.

“I don’t know. Sometimes she sits in silence staring into space and I think she want to go back there.” Leia admitted.

“She just needs some time Leia. This is a beautiful, loving, _large_ family and her life has probably been very lonely these past few years. Give it time and she’ll adjust.” Amilyn tried to reassure her friend, making Leia sigh. She knew that she was right but those words still didn’t reassure her much.

With a huff Leia took a bite of cake and ate it contemplatively. She could only hope that with time Rey would get better and their family dynamic of years past would be returned to them.

“It’s just, not how I wanted it to be.” Leia says as she swallows and Amilyn nods.

“Tell me about the wedding.” Amilyn prompts and Leia relaxes a bit, glad of a different topic of conversation.

“Well, Poe called me a horror and Finn said I was the worst mother-of-the-groom anyone has ever had. So all in all, it’s going quite well.” Leia said and smiled at Amilyn’s laughter, a familiar sense of peace falling between them.

-

Finn barely watched where he was driving, his focus almost entirely on Rey as he sped down familiar streets and Chewie’s warnings to “keep an eye on his girl” rolling around in his head. Apparently she’d been a bit odd ever since they got back from Luke’s and her father didn’t want anything to happen to her, especially not somewhere busy and public where people might work out who she was.

He pulled into the supermarket car park and shut the engine off. Leia had sent him off shopping the moment they got back home and he had automatically invited Rey along, remembering how happy she had been to go to the corner shop together a few weeks ago.

“Ready?” Finn asked, unbuckling himself grabbing the bags from the backseat.

“Yep!” Rey said brightly, her tone slightly too upbeat. Finn wondered for a moment if this cheeriness was the oddness Chewie was referring to but quickly dismissed it. Rey was already out of the car and he didn’t want her to know he was keeping an eye on her.

With the bags slung in a shopping trolley Rey was in charge of they set off on their quest for food, a list the length of Finn’s forearm guiding them on their way.

It was the first time they had been together since Luke’s and they quickly filled each other in on what they had missed, their conversations flowing like they always had. Except for the moments where Rey dropped away for a minute or two, but Finn had learnt to simply act as though they never happened.

“Finn?” A familiar voice suddenly spoke up from amongst the cheese and Finn whirled round to see Rose, her full basket by her feet and her eyes making a very valiant effort not to stare at Rey.

“Rose! Hi!” Finn greeted her, bounding towards her and scooping her up in a tight hug. They hadn’t seen each other since Rey returned and although he had been certainly distracted he had still felt Rose’s absence from his life. “How are you? How’s Paige?” He asked as he extracted himself from her arms.

“I’m good. And you know how Paige is, loving her life in the clouds.” Rose said, her gaze darting back and forth between Finn and Rey.

Bracing himself inside Finn stepped back and gestured to Rey.

“You uh, remember Rey Kanata.” He said limply, entirely at a loss as to what to say. How were you meant to reintroduce old acquaintances after one of them was kidnapped and then escaped?

“Of course!” Rose said, her arms moving awkwardly by her sides. It was always her reflex to sweep someone into a tight hug when she met them but Finn was glad she was holding herself back. Even to the unfamiliar eye and in all the layers Maz had wrapped her up in Rey still looked like someone who had been through something.

They all stood there awkwardly for a moment, fiddling with their hands and shifting their weight.

“Rey said she’d be a bridesmaid, for the wedding.” Finn suddenly said, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness.

“Really?” Rose asked with genuine excitement. Rey just nodded mutely.

“We’ll have to find more groomsmen. Kaydel can walk down with Snap but both of you need someone.” Finn mused, more to himself than the others. He and Poe shared a group of friends and so far that was proving to be a problem.

“Is Ben not going to be one?” Rose asked.

“We haven’t really decided yet.” Finn answered, skating around the truth. In reality he and Poe were butting heads on this. Finn wanted his brother, despite his mistakes, to be one of the groomsmen, Poe was adamant he didn’t want Ben to be one.

“Right.” Rose nodded, her hands clutching a block of cheese and an uncomfortable smile on her face. “Well, I’d better get going.” She said, grabbing her basket with straining arms. “It was lovely to see you both.”

Rose smiled at them with genuine warmth before walking away.

When she was out of sight Finn turned back to see Rey standing where Rose had been, looking slightly dazed.

“Rey? You ok?” Finn asked warily, worried something had happened.

Rey shook her head minutely and looked at him cheerfully.

“Fine. Just thinking.” She said. Finn eyed her but simply grabbed the trolley and asked what the next item on their list was.

It wasn’t until all the shopping had been loaded into the car and they were heading back home that Rey properly spoke.

“Rose is so pretty.” She said and Finn couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah she is. Whenever we go out she always has all the boys falling at her feet.” Finn said with no jealousy in his voice. He enjoyed it tremendously, watching men trying and failing to win Rose over.

“Does she have a boyfriend?” Rey asked curiously.

“Nah. She wants commitment and long term stuff that not many guys are into. Plus she has super high standards.” In Finn’s opinion her standards were a bit too high to be achieved but hey, what did he know? He was getting married to the first man who had called him pretty.

They drove in silence, Finn’s little car struggling to go fast with the weight of all the food in the back.

“Ben said he and Poe had a fight.” Rey spoke up suddenly, determinedly staring out the windscreen.

Finn grimaced, the ugly memory of that day at Luke’s rearing it’s head.

“Yeah, they did.” He said, not wanting to elaborate.

“What was it about?” Rey persisted.

“Poe was outta line. He said some stuff that he shouldn’t.” Finn said tersely.

“What happened? Please tell me.” Rey said, a hint of pleading in her voice. It reminded Finn of when they were younger and he wouldn’t tell her a secret until she begged and begged him.

“Ben told Mum about his job and that he was moving out literally the next day. And she’s all like ‘wow Ben that’s great’, but Poe comes in and get’s all mad. He said that it was about time Ben moved out and that Mum and Dad don’t need him at home, not like how they need us.” Finn gripped the steering wheel as he spoke, hating having to relay all of this onto someone else.

Rey was silent for a long time as she digested his words and Finn felt a sense of shame rise up inside him. It wasn’t him that had said anything but he still felt guilty for those words having been said.

“What did he mean? About needing you at home?” Rey asked.

Finn was glad he had to watch where he was driving and could talk without looking at Rey. He chewed his lip as he thought, trying to find where to start.

“It’s, kind of complicated.” He said but Rey wasn’t deterred.

“Please tell me Finn. I want to know what’s gone on.” She pleaded and Finn instantly gave in. No doubt Maz and Chewie were doing their best to keep Rey in the dark about everything that had happened when she disappeared.

“A few years after Ben left for Uncle Luke’s he cut everyone off, completely. I mean, he’d been super distant ever since he left home but like, that was when he snapped. No one could get in contact with him at all. I kind of didn’t notice at the time, cos we were only like, 12, but as I got older I realised what had happened. Then you went missing and suddenly Mum and Dad, and Chewie and Maz had lost everyone except me.”

“So you had to stay at home.” Rey surmised, her voice timid. Finn just nodded.

They pulled into their street and Finn parked by his house but neither of them made a move to leave the car.

“I kind of knew, when the police couldn’t find you, that I wouldn’t ever be leaving home. Definitely not leaving the city. I’ve never thought about leaving to go to uni or even on a long holiday, cos I know Mum especially wouldn’t do well if she felt like she’d lost me too.” Finn trailed off, struggling to speak. He had vocalized this before but somehow he felt it was harder saying it to Rey.

“What about Poe?” Rey prompted.

“Well, I met him through Mum obviously and he already knew about some of this stuff. And when we were getting serious and wanted to move in together he agreed to move in with Mum and Dad. He gave up all his dreams of having a house together or moving somewhere new to live with my parents. He did that for them.”

“Is that why he hates Ben?”

“You noticed that, huh?” Finn chuckled. He really shouldn’t be surprised that Poe’s animosity was so obvious.

“Why?”

“Because he knows I don’t want to be at home forever. He knows I wanted to go to uni and travel after I graduated but that I gave all that up for to be their for our parents. And then Ben comes home, no warning, no explanation and Poe blames him for taking those dreams from me.”

“He hates him for your sake?” Rey asked, sounding confused.

“I guess? He just, loves me. And so cos he thinks Ben took something away from me, he hates Ben and said all that bullshit about Mum and Dad needing us not him.” Finn finished.

Rey sat in silence twisting her fingers. Emotions radiated off her but Finn couldn’t identify them, he could only feel them swirling around the car.

“Do you, do you think now that me and Ben are back you’ll move away?” She asked worriedly.

“I mean, we haven’t talked about it. But I guess so. With you next door and Ben in the city Mum could probably let us go a bit.”

Something about Finn’s answer was clearly wrong as Rey suddenly pursed her lips. With tight movements she reached into her cardigan pocket and pulled out a battered leaflet that she handed to Finn. He took it from her but didn’t look at it, instead looking at her questioningly.

“I was gonna tell you about it early, but then we saw Rose and I remembered Ben telling me about the fight with Poe…” Rey trailed off and Finn warily opened it up.

It was an information packet about an independent assisted living facility. Finn quickly scanned through it, reading the descriptions of small flats within a protected environment. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Gently he rested it in his lap and swallowed.

“Do Maz and Chewie know about this?” He asked, already sensing an answer.

“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.” Rey said nervously.

Finn didn’t really know what to say. He had kind of just assumed Rey would want to stay with her parents and regain her independence after being dependent on one person for so long. This was a twist he hadn’t thought was coming.

“Is this what you want?” Finn asked seriously, gesturing to the building shown on the front page.

“Yes.” Rey nodded and Finn felt a weight lifting from him.

“Then I support. I want what’s best for you, whatever that is.” Finn said and he meant every word of it. Maybe it would make it harder for him to leave his parents, maybe it would help them to let him go.

“Thank you.” Rey sighed and took her pamphlet back. She smiled at him as she got out of the car, her easy lightness from earlier restored. With a smirk Finn opened his door and stuck his head up

“Peanut!” He called out and Rey turned around to face him.

“Don’t let Poe help you decorate! He has no taste!” Finn shouted and Rey shook her head, laughing at him.

-

“Talks.” Cassian declared confidently, dropping a pile of papers straight onto Jyn’s desk.

“What?” She asked perplexed and Cassian sat down in his chair, feeling unnecessarily smug.

“Once a year Alistair Snoke helps give school talk at Parkside Secondary School to help educate children about possible careers. Has done for over ten years.”

“And that’s how he saw Rey.” Jyn surmised.

“Exactly. Which leaves us with two possible theories.” Cassian said and waited for Jyn to work them out. She sat in silence for a moment and he could have sworn he could see the ideas running around her head.

“Either he’s already planning on kidnapping someone and he chooses Rey, or he see’s Rey and then plans to kidnap her.” She said hesitantly and Cassian felt himself smiling proudly in the way he knew irritated Jyn. She hated it when he was patronizing.

For some reason she didn’t seem to get annoyed by it though, even looked pleased. Cassian shifted slightly awkwardly when he realised but kept speaking.

“Well, no matter which we can say that prior to the kidnapping Snoke knew of Rey’s existence. Which shows premeditation and takes that defense from him.”

With the confirmation that Sheev Palpatine had indeed crawled out of retirement to defend his old apprentice they had been single minded in trying to predict every line of defense possible. The had DNA evidence that both Rey and Snoke had been in the basement, they had the fact that Snoke had tried to hide what he had done proving that he knew it was a crime and now what they hoped would be proof of premeditation.

“How are all the charges going?”

“We’re almost there with them. By tonight they’ll all be done. Then he’ll plead not guilty and it goes to the courts.” Jyn concluded.

“And we do something new.” Cassian sighed and ran a hand through his hand.

It felt so strange, realising this case was almost out of their hands. They would be needed for the trial and court case but they would no longer be in charge of this investigation and would be assigned to something else. And they would probably no longer be partners.

Cassian pushed this thought aside in favour of watching Jyn as she read through the information she had presented to her.

“Is this how he got the library book?” She asked suddenly, her voice breaking Cassian out of his contemplation of her hands.

“Probably. He kept going back after he took her, so I guess he visited the library and got a book out. Maybe he even got it for her.”

“Couldn’t he just buy her it if she wanted to read it? She had plenty of others.”

“Who knows? He’s a twisted bloke.” Cassian shrugged and looked around their office for a moment, wondering what case this space would be used for next. “How many charges are we giving him?”

“Different charges or induvial numbers?” Jyn asked, glancing down at her notes.

“Both?” He asked but Jyn shook her head.

“We haven’t got induvial numbers yet. But we’re giving him kidnap, false imprisonment, rape, sexual assault, actual bodily harm, grievous bodily harm, assault and threats to kill.” Jyn said, reading from her list.

Cassian swore underneath his breath and slumped fully in his chair, turning it all over in his chair. Despite everything he had heard and read over the past few weeks, hearing the charges read out so clinically still affected him. He was quiet for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Do the Kanata’s know?” He asked.

“Not yet. When we’ve charged him we’ll let them know. And then offer an official statement.” Cassian nodded as he listened to Jyn, even as his heart sank.

“Poor girl. Having everyone know about all that.” He said, almost to himself.

“Nothing we can do about it.” Jyn said professionally, but Cassian could hear the buried emotion in her voice. “We won’t realise the exact numbers just yet, only the charges.”

She picked up her papers as she spoke to take them to Imwe and Cassian admired the view as she walked away, suddenly looking forward to the end of this case.

-

After only one morning at The Jedi Order Ben had managed to learn more about his coworker’s than he ever did at First Order, and it felt like they want to know just as much about him.

His team only consists of two people but he can clearly see why they were chosen for the job. Between his history in criminal law, Gwendoline Phasma’s past in family law and Dopheld Mitaka’s experience with environmental law they’ve got the knowledge to cover pretty much anything. Mitaka doesn’t tell him quite as much about himself as Phasma does but even so, it’s clear they’re both open, honest people who also seem to be friends outside of the office and both seem to have frankly idyllic lives.

Phasma is happily married, gushes about her wife at every possible opportunity and is a foster mother to teenagers who are in danger of aging out of the care system and becoming adults without any real support.

Mitaka is dating the receptionist, frets about his pregnant cat giving birth while he’s at work and watches Doctor Who every Friday night with Tallie while eating pizza they make together.

Ben would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of them. Especially now that he’s living out of suitcases and sleeping on a mattress on the floor (it’s an expensive one but y’know, it’s still just a mattress). He just likes the sound of their lives so much, the simple domesticity of watching TV with someone he loves, having pictures on his desk of them smiling together. It’s not something he ever thought he wanted but his coworkers paint such a lovely picture he can’t help but yearn for it.

The job is far better than he could ever have hoped for. All he really does is provide legal advice to small charities and help them prepare documents but it still feels so fulfilling. After years of defending the indefensible knowing that he’s providing a positive service is making him feel like he never has before.

There were never any pictures on people’s desks at the First Order, but everyone’s desk is covered and Ben can’t help feel a little bit left out. He doesn’t have any pictures anywhere to put up and he knows he has more pressing priorities than that but he still wants to add some. He isn’t sure what they would be of though.

“Do you want to join us Ben?” Gwen asked, snapping Ben back to the present.

Shaking his head Ben realised he hadn’t heard a word of Gwen and Dopheld’s conversation, having zoned out completely.

“Sorry?”

“Dopheld and I were gonna go for drinks. There’s a bar near here that serves really good curly fries when you order.” Gwen explained as she buttoned up her jacket and Ben took a moment to admire it. Taller than him in stilettos and impeccable suits with platinum blonde hair Gwen at work was a far cry from the homey, comfortable Gwen in the pictures that sat on her desk.

“Uh, not tonight.” Ben declined as he looked around his desk.

“Do you have plans?” Dopheld asked warmly.

“I recently moved. I’ve got some stuff to sort out.” Ben lied.

In truth he had nothing planned at all but Ben wasn’t sure he was at a point yet where he wanted to join his coworkers for a drink at an unknown bar. That seemed rather personal.

As they left the room Ben leant back in his chair and admired the view from the window. The sun was beginning to set as autumn slowly crept up on summer and the low sunlight was steadily lighting the room up in an faint orange glow. When he was sure they would be long gone Ben hauled himself out of his seat and dragged himself back to his flat.

Even completely empty it still felt like far more of a home than his old place ever had. And he was saving a substantial amount of money on rent.

Shedding clothes as he walked across the open studio Ben flopped down onto his mattress in just his button up and boxers, settling in for a familiar evening of absentmindedly doing some work and watching TV. The room grew darker as time passed but he hardly noticed as he lay with his laptop in front of him.

It wasn’t until his hunger made itself known and he had ordered dinner (and cutlery) that Ben finally closed his tabs and surveyed his place. He really did need to at least buy some kitchenware. _Or at the very least a bin_ , he thought as he eyed the pile of rubbish in the corner of the room. An idea occurred to him and he found himself setting his food onto the floor as he reached for his phone. He wrote and rewrote the simple text until he couldn’t overthink it anymore.

_Hello. How was your day?_

Ben sent the message before he could overthink it any further and deliberately sat his phone down beside him, refusing to obsessively check it for messages. He was only a few bites into his meal when he got a reply.

_oh u know me_

_it was just so busy_

Ben laughed out loud as he read Rey’s message.

_how was urs_

_Well, I went to work. Then I came home and did some more work before ordering dinner._

_u ordered food? did something special happen?_

He paused as he considered her message. His cooking skills weren’t great and when he had worked for the First Order he had often been too tired to do anything beyond decide what restaurant to get from. Eating something that wasn’t home cooked wasn’t a big deal for him, but as Ben considered his response e decided a little white lie never hurt anyone. 

_No. But I don’t have any cutlery. Or food to cook with._

_why don’t u have cutlery ????_

_that’s like the first thing u need in a house_

_Well, I sort of don’t have anything at the moment._

_That’s why I messaged you._

Rey was quiet for a long time and Ben watched nervously as she typed and retyped her response.

_what do u mean ?_

_Well, this place came without any furniture. And I don’t trust myself to choose it all._

When Rey was silent for several minutes Ben’s brain immediately went into overdrive, worrying about having overstepped and trying to think of ways to fix the situation. Eventually she replied and Ben was able to relax by a fraction.

_i don’t know anything abt that kind of stuff_

_Neither do I. But I thought it might be fun._

_even tho I don’t know anything ?_

_That doesn’t matter. You being there will make it more fun._

_ok_

_when ?_

Ben smiled to himself as he sorted out the details for seeing Rey that weekend. He didn’t know what she would tell her parents but he didn’t really care, all he cared about was getting to pick her up and then going somewhere together, even if it was only just to a couple shops. He meant what he told her, about it being more fun with her. He just left out the part where he also just wanted an excuse to see her now that he wasn’t next door anymore.

Saturday needed to hurry up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- furniture shopping
> 
> oopsie, i didnt update for a hundred years  
> i hope this was an okay progession after such a long wait  
> also i wrote a one shot (soulmate, modern au)   
> if u r into that kind of thing please read it im shamelessly begging u im lowkey really proud of it   
> thank u for reading !!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of past abuse (with no detail) and discussion of weight (in no great detail)

Maz smiled as she surveyed the dinner table. Three bowls, three glasses, three sets of cutlery. Just as it should be. Their dining table was too small for just two people.

Her and Chewie had once considered having more children. When she was a young woman living a risky life she had privately dreamed of a house teeming with children, every room full to bursting with life. She would come home from work and child after child would run to her, laughing and chattering and climbing all over her.

But they Rey had come. And their plans for a large family disappeared. Because truthfully, they feared they would never love another child as much as they loved her. It was almost impossible to believe, the extent of their love for her, just how all-consuming it was. Their hearts overflowed with it and could not be contained inside them and they didn’t want to force a childhood on a child where they weren’t loved as much as another.

So they had created their little family of three next door to the Solo’s and loved their daughter more than anyone had ever loved someone before. Not even seven years without her could dampen that love.

With a smile Maz climbed the stairs to Rey’s bedroom, admiring all the pictures that lined the wall beside the staircase. They should take more family photos now that Rey was home, fill the house with even more of them.

“Rey? Dinner’s ready.” Maz called as she knocked on the bedroom door.

From the other side Maz heard muffled thumps and mutterings and she almost opened the door to see what was going on. Before she could turn the handle to investigate though Rey flung the door open, her cheeks slightly flushed and her chest rising quicker than normal.

With narrowed eyes Maz looked past her at the rumpled bed, the duvet bulging from where someone had stuffed something underneath it.

“Everything alright, darling?” Maz asked, somewhat suspiciously.

“Yes! Everything’s fine! What’s for dinner?” Rey raved, starting to go down the stairs.

Fighting the urge to go into her room Maz shut the door and followed her back down to the table where Chewie was now sat, having finished washing up after a day at the garage where Maz suspected he and Han had mostly sat around and smoked instead of fixing any actual cars.

She only kept half her mind on the conversation, the other half more preoccupied with watching Rey eat. They were still following the doctor’s diet plan and Rey had gained a tiny bit of weight, but as she watched Rey push pasta around her plate and chew every bite for far longer than necessary, Maz began to worry if they should seek more specialist help.

Rey was in the middle of a lengthy description of the book she was currently reading (some long period novel that had brooding dark haired heroes and fiery heroines, longing gazes on windswept clifftops and confessions of love in candlelit rooms) when Chewie’s phone rang, and he instantly paled before getting up to answer it.

“Is Dad ok?” Rey asked when he was out of earshot, her teeth worrying at her lips.

“He’s fine, darling. He just doesn’t like talking to some people.” Maz said gently, resting her hand on Rey’s for a moment.

With large, worried eyes Rey glanced out of the kitchen to where Chewie could be seen angrily placing in the hallway.

“Who doesn’t he like talking to?”

“Oh, you know him. Everyone. Journalists, police, lawyers.” Maz said dismissively and returned to eating, hoping to calm Rey’s worries down. She decide to change the topic of conversation. “What happened after their wedding?”

“Oh, then they have to go to dinner with his family. But they don’t like her because she’s poor and used to be his servant-”

Rey cut herself off as Chewie appeared in the doorway, his face thunderous and his hand gripping his phone so tightly Maz worried for a fleeting second about his crushing it in his giant hand.

“Dad?” Rey asked timidly as he fell into his chair opposite her. “What’s happened?”

“Fucking police. Fucking press.” Chewie muttered darkly under his breath and Maz felt her heart sink.

“Rey, darling. Go upstairs.”

“No, I want to know what’s going on.” She began and Maz tore her eyes away from her husband to face her properly.

“Rey, please.” Maz implored.

Hesitantly Rey got up from the table and left the room, leaving Maz alone with Chewie.

“Chewie, what’s going on? Who was that?” Maz asked bluntly when she had heard Rey’s bedroom door shut.

“The police. They’ve charged the bastard.”

“That’s good isn’t it?” Maz asked, confused at her husbands reaction. He had always dealt with the police more than her, but surely charging that man was a positive? Surely it meant he would now go to prison?

“That’s not the problem. They’re going to release a statement to the press about what he’s been charged with.”

“Oh.” Was all Maz could say, the situation finally dawning on her. A press statement would mean everyone would know that man’s crimes, everyone would know what had been done to their girl.

“What’re the charges?” She asked, almost not wanting to know.

“Kidnap. Imprisonment. Rape. Sexual abuse. Physical abuse.” Chewie listed Snoke’s crimes through gritted teeth, not lifting his eyes from his plate.

“Dear god.” Maz murmured as she felt all strength leave her body. With a heavy sigh she sunk down in her chair, her eyes focused but unseeing.

They sat there wordlessly for minutes; time stretching out all around them as their minds reeled and stomachs churned.

“She’s hardly said anything about it. And now everyone will know.” Maz said, almost to herself.

“Sick cunt.” Chewie muttered, not registering Maz’s words.

“Can’t we do something? Ask them not to tell the press?” Maz asked, far more focused on trying to protect Rey going forward than dwelling on the past.

“I tried. They said he’s pled not guilty so it’ll go to trial and everyone will find out through that. Either way the press will know.”

“Not guilty?” Maz shouted, completely incredulous. “She was in his house! She said it was him! How can he say that?”

“Because he’s fucking twisted Maz! Because he took Rey and did all this shit to her and before she’s even felt able to tell us properly the whole world is gonna know!” Chewie said, his voice strained and the muscles in his arms tense.

Maz felt herself go weak again, her vision blurring as tears gathered in her eyes.

“When are they putting it out?” She asked, her voice wobbling.

“Tomorrow morning, when the case get’s formally filed and the legal shit starts up.” Chewie explained, pouring himself a drink as he seemed to regain some of his strength.

“So we have to tell her about it tonight.” Maz concluded, looking up at the ceiling as if she could see right through it to Rey.

“Yeah, we do.” Chewie said as heaved himself up from the table and made to go to Rey’s room and tell her the heartbreaking news.

Maz found that she couldn’t move, her legs suddenly too weak to carry her out of her chair and up the stairs. She let a few tears fall down her face as she continued to stare a the ceiling.

“Oh my baby. My poor, poor baby.” She murmured quietly, tasting her own tears.

-

Ben saw it on the news the moment he sat down at his desk when he hastily checked his phone. He had only expected to see a few articles on the state of the economy, maybe a new development in politics or a government initiative. He hadn’t expected to see his worst nightmares confirmed.

Alistair Snoke had been charged with over 500 crimes and had plead not guilty to every single one.

Ben scrolled through the article as time ground to a stop around him. There was a mugshot of Snoke that he focused on, the man who had torn him down more times than he wanted to remember seemed so much smaller when stripped of his wealth and power. Rey’s school picture was there too as well as one of Chewie and Maz making a public appeal for her return. She looked so young, much younger than 14. Much too young to go through what she apparently had.

His heart sank through the floorboards as he read. The knowledge that Rey had been hurt and alone, suffering at the hands of the man Ben worked for caused his world to crash around him, easily breaking the fragile foundations that held it up. He had been in that very house of horrors, had eaten and drank and laughed in the same place where she had suffered such cruel treatment.

How could she talk to him? How could she agree to spend time with him after all this had happened to her? He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve to be in her presence for even a second. He shouldn’t breath the air she breathed or walk on the ground she trod. She was far too good and he was far too pathetic.

None of the little smiles she had given him, or the fleeting moments of her laughter that Ben had collected inside him could ease him as he continued to read, a masochist searching for pain.

He was pictured in the article too, ushering Rey into her home from beneath his jacket. He was looking down as he guided her movements but it was still visibly him wrapped around her, his hulking form wrapped around her tiny body. For a second Ben was distracted by the sight of his hand on her lower back and the memory of how much of her he could cover in a single touch.

It only lasted for a second though and then he was back to hating himself for his part in this. For standing by that man for so many years instead of supporting her family. For not realising what was going on underneath his nose.

The morning dragged slowly onwards and Ben hated every moment of it, all his thoughts soured by this new development. His coworkers avoided him and Ben wondered if this would be his life now that he was so publicly attached to this case, not just his name and family but his face and body were part of it too now. The only image of Rey Kanata now had him in it as well, after all.

He couldn’t focus on his work, every report he tried to read somehow turned into another newspaper article about Snoke until he had read them all. Dopheld and Gwen tiptoed past his office, sneaking unsubtle glances at him and averting their eyes once they saw his murderous expression. Eventually Ben lost track of time, becoming lost to his endless internal tirade.

Aggressively Ben’s phone vibrated against his desk, causing him to jump a foot out of his chair. With fumbling fingers he reached for it, internally cursing whoever decided to make buttons on phones so small when some people had large hands. He was startled to see Hux’s name appear on screen but when he read the message he relaxed.

_Just saw the news_

_Was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch together? There’s a nice place a few streets away._

Ben sighed as he looked around his office. It was either grab lunch with Hux and have an uncomfortable meal riddled with guilt and accusations or eat in here as he hid from his colleagues.

_Ok. Should we meet in the lobby now?_

_Sure_

With a groan Ben shut his computer off and grabbed his stuff, throwing his suit jacket back on haphazardly without a care to his appearance. He stormed through the main work area and ignored the stares, a strange sense of deju-vu filling him as coworkers cowered from his anger. It was rather familiar to him.

Hux was already in the lobby when he got there, looking infuriatingly calm. It was only when Ben got closer to him that he saw just how rattled Hux was, his eyes slightly wild. They left the building in silence, neither of them speaking until they were settled across from each other in some fancy café, expensive sandwiches and overpriced coffee sitting on the table.

It was Hux who finally broke the silence.

“When did you find out?”

“A while ago. When the police asked for a suspect to be formally identified.” Ben elaborated. He suddenly felt uncomfortable about saying Rey’s name. It felt too personal.

“Did the police interview you?” Hux asked as he ate while Ben left his food untouched and his arms crossed across his broad chest.

“Yeah. Asking if I knew, if I helped. That kind of thing.” Ben explained and Hux nodded.

“They came to me too. That’s how I learnt they suspected him. Apparently they’re going to everyone who ever worked for him.”

Ben nodded absentmindedly as he turned this information over in his head. He should’ve assumed the police would’ve done something like that, it was standard. With sigh he leaned forward and started to eat, his hunger finally registering through his shock. There was still something inside him though preventing him from being at ease, something he needed an answer to.

“You didn’t know then?” He said bluntly, his voice hard. “That he had her?”

Hux looked up suddenly, hurt and surprise mixed in his eyes.

“No! God no!” He said vehemently, throwing his half eaten food down as he stared at Ben. “Did you?”

“Absolutely not.” Ben retorted.

The two men stared at each other for a moment, sizing the other up. Ben was the first to relax and he reached for his food once again. For all his faults, his dramatics and snobbishness Hux was not cruel or unkind and Ben genuinely believed his denial. He could only hope that Hux belived him too.

“How is she? The girl.” Hux asked after a while, his voice softer.

Ben didn’t respond for a long moment, trying to find the words to describe Rey to a stranger.

_Sweet. Pretty. Fragile. Breakable. Strong. Bright._

None of these sounded like the correct answer. Eventually he settled on one.

“She’s, reserved. Quiet.” He said and Hux hummed in response, seeming satisfied.

Ben sat across from his friend and watched as Hux ate with narrowed eyes, taking his friends appearance in properly for the first time that day.

“Why are you growing a beard? And why is you hair longer?” He asked suddenly; although he suspected he knew what the answer was.

Hux coughed and ran a hand through his hair awkwardly.

“I just thought it would look good. Try something new y’know?” He said and Ben scoffed.

“Bullshit. What’s her name?”

That was all it took for Hux to abandon his sandwich and start gushing about whoever his new girl was now.

“She’s called Rose and she’s beautiful like you wouldn’t believe, Ben. She’s smart too, and she’s into commitment, told me she has a Pinterest board of wedding dresses on her second date. Honestly, I think she might be the one.” Hux finished and took a huge bite as Ben laughed outright, his spirits suddenly lifted.

“You’ve said that about every girl you’ve ever met. And none of them have ever lasted. What’s so special this time?” Ben chuckled.

“She is Ben. She’s different from the others.” Hux defended his new love in a way Ben was very familiar with.

“Really?” Ben asked cynically.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you’ve never been in love.” Hux said with a dramatic sigh as he finished his food and Ben could only nod.

No. He hadn’t ever been in love.

-

“Well?” Jyn asked nervously, shifting her weight nervously. Cassian sat without moving, his eyes focused on the lawyer in front of them, taking in her every expression.

Across from them sat the ever imposing Mon Mothma, a top prosecutor and apparently a good friend of the Superintendent. Cassian had never met her before but her reputation preceded her, she was a rather legendary figure. Plus, Jyn admired her greatly.

Mothma shut the case file and put it on her desk before eyeing them both.

“Would she talk in court?” Mothma asked.

“Probably not. She’s comfortable enough to give you more interviews if that’s what you need, but courts a different matter.” Jyn explained.

“She definitely wouldn’t do well being cross examined.” Cassian added and Jyn nodded in agreement.

Mothma sat back in her chair and seemed lost in thought for a moment, staring into the space between the two detectives.

“It’s good work. It’s a solid case.” She said eventually and Cassian breathed a sigh of relief. Praise from someone so important made him puff up like a bird.

“Will it be enough?” Jyn asked, her voice betraying how worried she still was. All the way there she had been fretting over whether their evidence was too weak to stand up to Palpatine and a jury.

“Between the house and the witness testimonies, I think so. Palpatine’s good, but not this good. I’ll send people around to collect the rest of the stuff this afternoon and then you guys can be reassigned.” Mothma shuffled some papers across her desk as she finished speaking, effectively dismissing Jyn and Cassian.

They both tip-toed out of her office and Cassian shut the door gingerly behind them, neither daring to make a loud noise in what felt like such a sacred space. Jyn leant against the wall opposite the doorway and Cassian watched as she exhaled loudly and relax the firm set of her shoulders she had maintained throughout the meeting.

“Jesus Christ.” Cassian muttered as he ran a hand through his hair, the gravity of the situation finally dawning on him.

They were no longer lead detectives on this case. A suspect had been arrested and charged and the case closed and handed off to the prosecution services. They would probably be needed again when the trial began as witnesses but until then this part of their lives was over. And Cassian wasn’t quite sure what he would do now.

New assignments would take them new places and offer them something different away from each other. A promotion would probably be on its way to both of them, although Cassian would turn it down. He had never believed that someone should be promoted just because of their what they did on one thing; it should come from consistent, successful work.

Oblivious to his train of thought Jyn pulled her phone out and began messaging someone.

“There’s talk about going out for celebration drinks tonight, do you want to come?” She asked, finally looking up at him. For a moment he got distracted by her eyes that seemed more lovely to him by the day and couldn’t think.

 _No, I don’t,_ Cassian thought, eyeing her hopeful expression. _Not now that we aren’t coworkers anymore._

He struggled to speak, the implications of this simple fact rendering him mute for a moment and he could only laugh at himself. A policeman with more experience than most and some troubling memories, unable to speak because of a toothy smile and green eyes. It was her smile, and the lips that surrounded it that got him able to speak again.

“No. I want to take you out to dinner.” He said plainly.

Jyn’s eyes widened and her cheeks began to pinken in a way he hadn’t expected from someone so tough. Maybe underneath her hard shell she was softer than he had thought.

“Is that appropriate?” Jyn asked and his heart soared at her response.

“Well, we aren’t coworkers anymore, are we?” Cassian said, trying not to betray how suddenly nervous he felt. Asking someone to dinner had never felt so terrifying before.

“No, I supposed we aren’t.” Jyn mused.

“Well?”

“Alright. Let’s get dinner together.” She said with a brighter smile than he had ever seen before.

As they walked out of the building towards their car Cassian didn’t even try to repress the spring in his step. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- furniture shopping! finally!
> 
> i have returned from an accidental break! i wasn't trying not to update, time just got away from me and the next thing i knew it had been forever  
> the slow burn is finally beginning to go somewhere! i swear theres a relationship at the end of this tunnel!  
> i hope this was a worthy update for u all and that u are enjoying it so far  
> also this chapter marks the end of jyn/cassian POV chapters- they may return later but this is pretty much where we leave them  
> i hope every has a lovely day!


	41. Chapter 41

_Smoking Kills_

Han’s cigarette packet mocked him from where it lay on his workbench as he took another long drag of his cigarette and ignored the car he was meant to be working on.

The garage didn’t exactly make a profit but his family didn’t need any money, not really. Between what he had left over from his more lucrative jobs and Leia’s massive wealth they had more than they knew what to do with. Really, it was much more of a hobby for him and Chewie, more of a place to hang out alone in.

Chewie hadn’t come in that day though, choosing instead to stay at home with his family. Han could hardly blame him. He would have too if anyone there wanted him.

When Rey had first disappeared Leia had been a fountain of tears but time had dried them up until she only sobbed when some new development happened. Once the police had dug up a field near their home believing that Rey’s body was buried there and she had been inconsolable for days, the idea of Rey murdered and dumped bringing all her tears back.

It was like that again. One quick scan of the newspaper over breakfast and Leia had returned to bed to cry to herself peacefully. Han knew better than to assume that she wanted him there.

Besides, he was pretty shit at comforting people.

Finn had stayed at home too under the guise of needing to study for this new social care course he was taking, but Han knew he was probably crying too.

Han remained entirely dry eyed though as he put out his cigarette and reread the article again. He wasn’t a heartless man by any means, truthfully his heart felt shattered. He just simply didn’t feel moved by this news. To him it seemed obvious that the thin, twitchy young woman next door had suffered something horrific.

His chair protested loudly as he relaxed in it, remembering the Rey from before. She had been so loud when she was around, always chattering and laughing and trying to outrun Finn. At 10 she already knew her way around a car engine and even though she talked about becoming an engineer secretly Han wanted her to join him and Chewie as a mechanic in their garage. Her permanent smile would have helped light up the gloomy place.

There was a familiar surge of guilt inside Han as he thought of Rey. In all this time he had hardly spoken to her, choosing instead to keep his distance from her and let others be the ones to interact with her. He felt confident she hadn’t noticed the distance he put between them but Han couldn’t do anything else. Not when he was so scared of her, so scared of scaring her, of saying something wrong or moving in the wrong way and setting her off.

The bell at the front of the garage suddenly went and Han hauled himself out of his reminiscence and his chair and walked heavily over to greet whoever had entered, leaving his worries to take his place in his easy chair.

-

Ben thought about cancelling. He really did.

It was the right thing to do. Rey wouldn’t want to come with him to do something as frivolous as shopping, not with everything that had happened this week. He couldn’t begin to understand how affected she must be, how much it would hurt to have the worst parts of your life laid bare for all to see, whether or not you wanted that.

People might recognise them and talk to her. He’s been named in articles, identifying him as a childhood friend helping her into her house. What if when they’re out people put two and two together and realise who she is? What if they take pictures and post them and then her anonymity is shot?

There’s too many reasons why this is a bad thing to do and many reasons why cancelling is the right thing. It’s pragmatic. It’s sensible.

Ben doesn’t cancel. He’s always been selfish like that.

He does wait as long as he can before finalizing the plans though, hoping that if Rey needs to tell him anything she has enough time to. She doesn’t though and he arranges to pick her up at ten on Saturday from her parent’s house.

Strangely, when Ben tells her this he’s suddenly struck by images of scooping Rey up and carrying her in his arms. It’s unclear why he suddenly imagines this but he really doesn’t want to focus on it, he has far more important things to do.

Like working out a ton on Friday so he looks big and threatening and fussing over his outfit, changing his mind several times before settling on some jeans, a button up and a leather jacket, all in black. He sorted of hoped if anyone did try and bother Rey he could use his size to scare them away from her.

When he falls asleep on his mattress on Friday night he dreamt about Rey again. This time they’re in Snoke’s house, only in his dream he knows it’s their home. He could hear music playing gently in the background as he danced through the home holding Rey close to his chest. They spin around in perfect synchrony and with an ease and grace he knew he doesn’t possess in real life.

Rey’s eyes shone as he held her in his arms, her hair in perfect waves that fell past her shoulders and her skin seemed to glow like her golden dress, everything around them seeming to warp the faster they danced. Their dance grew more and more frantic until the ground suddenly opened up underneath Ben and something pulled him down, a scream that sounded like Rey echoing in his ears.

Ben woke with a start, his heart hammering in his chest. But as soon as he awoke he forgot the dream and simply rolled over in his sheets and went back to sleep.

-

When he pulled up outside the Kanata’s house Ben was relieved to see that there were neither hordes of journalists outside the door or Chewie waiting for him with a shotgun. Rey hadn’t told him what she had told her parents but clearly whatever she had said hadn’t sent Chewie off in a murderous rage against him. Although Ben did still think that such a thing would probably happen one day.

He got out of his car and leant against the door in a slight cocky way and watched with a smile as Rey tumbled out of the front door. Instead of a golden ballgown she was wrapped up against the autumn air in various shades of beige and brown, from her think cardigan to flowery skit, knitted tights and shiny plan boots.

Her smile wasn’t as all-encompassing as it had been in his dream but Ben treasured how brightly her eyes burned nevertheless as she took him in.

He was so busying staring at her with an empty head Ben didn’t realise when her smile dropped slightly and she looked down at herself self-consciously.

“What’s wrong? Do I look ok?” She asked, nervously, half turning around to run back into her home.

“No, no you look lovely. I just haven’t seen you in a while.” Ben said quickly, almost tripping over his words in his haste to comfort her.

Rey beamed at him as she fiddled with her bag strap and Ben took it as his cue to usher her into his car. He even held the door open for her like a proper gentleman.

He didn’t drive off immediately though, instead turning to face Rey as soon as she was fastened in and he had turned on the heated seat underneath her. Maz would probably end his life if Rey caught a cold.

“So, um, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere like super busy today, but if somewhere is too crowded for you please tell me. Or just grab me or something.” Ben said, chuckling nervously. “I won’t leave you on your own but if anyone tries to bother you I’ll scare them off.”

“You’ll stay with me, right?” Rey asked, her voice little.

“Of course.” Ben answered sincerely.

-

“It’s ugly.”

“It’s modern.”

“It looks uncomfy.”

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning back to look at the sofa standing between the pair _. It did_ look uncomfortable, all hard lines and corners and not at all like the simple, masculine, cozy vibe he was sort of looking for. At Gwen Phasma’s suggestion he had made a Pinterest account and spent several hours looking for the kind of home he wanted.

“You’re right. Wat else is there?” Ben admitted defeat to Rey and she instantly grew smug. So far she had won most of their furniture battles, steering Ben away from black everything and sharp cornered coffee table she argued he would hurt his legs on, although he had managed to beat her on the colour of the armchairs, drawing the line at her pale brown suggestions and choosing navy instead.

She had pouted all throughout cutlery at that and Ben found himself rather enjoying it.

“Um, bedframe.” Rey said, checking the long, _long_ list Ben had written out. It was practically the length of her arm but they were making quick work of it, especially given this one place seemed to sell everything.

Ben pushed the trolley full of crockery and cushions toward bedframes and Rey stuck tightly to his elbow. He would get most of the stuff delivered but some things he needed now. Like a toilet brush. And towels.

“Do you already have a mattress?” Rey asked from behind his arm as a man walked past them.

He had noticed that rather quickly. Whenever someone came close to them she would hide herself away behind him. It made his chest puff up and his shirt feel oddly tight.

“Yeah. I’ve been sleeping on it.”

“On the floor?” Rey asked, incredulous.

“No, it floats.” Ben joked lamely. Rey still chuckled.

“Doesn’t your back hurt, from the ground?” She asked after a long pause as they crossed the shop and reached their destinations.

“Not really. It’s a really nice mattress. All expensive memory foam and high tech mattress technology.” Ben explained as Rey stepped forward to look at a bedframe.

“I didn’t know there was mattress technology.” She said as she shook her head at the first one. It had clearly not met her standards.

“Sure there is. Amazing scientific advancements are happening every day as we speak.” God, Ben was really not managing to be cool today. He had never exactly been funny but he was doing worse than he usually was.

Rey just hummed as they walked past furniture that wouldn’t fit his king mattress on, her eyes suddenly slightly distant. Ben just waited patiently for her to come back to the moment.

“Do you want a headboard? Or just a wooden frame?” Rey said.

“Headboard.” Ben replied firmly.

Ben believed there was something genuinely wrong with people who chose to have one of those uncomfortable metal frames with the bars. They looked bad and must feel worse

“What about that one?” Rey pointed at a simple rectangular padded headboard in dark blue.

“Don’t you think it would be too blue? With the armchairs and sofa? It’s all in a studio y’know.”

“It’s not blue it’s navy.” Rey insisted and tugged at his sleeve to bring him closer to it.

It still looked dark blue up close but Ben did admit he could picture himself leaning on it to watch his documentaries.

“Can I get it in another colour?” He asked as Rey read the label.

“Yeah, they say you can chose from a bunch of options.”

“Is black on there?” He said, more to tease her than anything else.

Rey stood back up and frowned at him in a perfectly unthreatening manner. She was just had too sweet a face to look mean.

“No black. At least get grey.”

“Great. A grey headboard will match my black sheets perfectly.”

Rey sighed dramatically and disappeared to the other side of the headboard to write down the information so he could order one later. He took his eyes off from her and looked around the shop trying to work out what came next when he suddenly locked eyes with a woman only a few meters away from him.

The woman’s eyes grew wide with recognition and Ben felt dread numb him as she started to walk towards him. Ben quickly glanced over to where Rey was still out of sight before standing up straight and letting himself puff out until he loomed over the smaller, middle aged woman.

“Excuse me, are you Ben Solo?” She asked, feigning politeness. Even socially inadequate Ben could make out the barely disguised excitement in her voice and for a second he wondered if she was a journalist.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Ben asked icily, not at all sorry.

This random woman seemed flustered for a moment as Ben radiated hostility but continued on.

“You are Ben Solo, aren’t you? I was _so_ sad to hear about that little girl, you know, the one who got kidnapped. It must be so awful for you.” She said, not an ounce of sincerity in her voice.

Ben was one second away from running this woman over with his shopping trolley when a bright voice interrupted their conversation.

“Where next?” Rey asked sweetly, popping up from behind the headboard.

At the sight of Ben squaring up to a middle aged woman Rey squeaked and hurried over to him as he reached out of arm for her. With one arm firmly clamped around Rey’s shoulders and her body safely tucked into his Ben gave the woman one last loathing look.

“We’re leaving.” He said, malice dripping from his voice and he guided them to the exit, almost forgetting to pay for his stuff.

Ben didn’t bother going anywhere else, just led them straight to his car without once letting go of Rey. He hardly noticed the hand of hers that hand crept out and was holding a fistful of his jacket or the way she fitted alongside him so perfectly; all he could think about was getting her home and safe before any other nutters decided to talk to them.

It felt wrong to load his sportscar up with homeware but it did make him feel better to see all the proper adult things he had bought. He was no longer pretending to function in a penthouse that can with everything or leeching off his parents, no now Ben Solo was a proper adult with a pension and tea towels.

Rey put the blankets and cushions in without speaking, leaving him with the heavy things. She was subdued and seemed rattled and Ben could only hope she would be ok soon.

She slid into the car as he finished up and had already stipped off her big cardigan to reveal another one underneath it when he sat down and shut the door behind him, dark windows keeping them safe.

“Are you ok?” He asked gently, his hands fisted on his thighs with residual tension.

“Yeah. Thank you for leaving.” Rey said, her eyes focused on the flowers of her dress.

Ben started up the car and they drove for a while in silence, each processing the quick turn of events.

“What did she want?” Rey asked softly.

“Just to know if I was Ben Solo.” He lied, unwilling to let her know there were people out there wanting to talk to her like that.

“Because of me?” Rey continued.

“Yeah. I think she recognised me from the pictures in the news.”

Rey hummed to herself and reached for the car radio, putting on a random station whose voices helped Ben to relax, comforted by the idea that Rey was ok enough to fiddle with his car.

“Um, before we go back to mine, can you take me somewhere?” Rey asked suddenly, her voice timid, as though she fully expected him to reject her simple request.

“Of course. Where to?” Ben reassured her.

Rey didn’t tell him, instead pulling out a piece of paper that appeared to have been ripped from something else with an address on it.

It was slightly out of town but closer to his flat in the center than her parent’s home firmly in the suburbs. When they pulled up he could see Rey looking at the building intently.

Ben can’t quite work out what it is. It looks like a rather fancy set of flats, all built around a central garden and locked behind a gate. Squinting Ben thought he could see some larger rooms on the ground floor, places that looked like mix between classrooms and meeting rooms.

“Rey?” Ben asked, snapping Rey out of her staring contest with the walls. “What is this place?”

Rey fiddled with her little piece of paper, twisting it just to the point of tearing it then scrunching it up in a tiny ball.

“It’s something my therapist suggested. An assisted living facility.” She said hesitantly but Ben frowned, not quite understanding her.

“Like a care home?” He asked, confused.

“No, it’s not for old people. It’s like, separate flats but also a recovery place. People from abusive relationships or who need help live there.”

Rey’s words sunk into Ben all at once. She wanted to live here, alone, independently. But also be looked after by the people who worked there.

Without consulting his brain but felt his heart soar slightly. All of a sudden his half-formed ideas about taking Rey places seemed a lot more feasible, without her parents controlling her life.

“Is this, something you’re thinking about?” Ben said hesitantly, trying not to get ahead of himself too quickly.

“Yeah, I am. Like, I’m really thinking about it.” Rey explained, pausing to watch as a young man used a keycard to let himself in through the gate. “I’m not ready to be on my own, but Mum and Dad have been driving me up the walls. Mr. Malbus said this was like a middle ground where I make my meals and do what I want but there are people who check in on me and some rules to keep me safe.”

All her words came out in a rush, tumbling out of her mouth like she desperately wanted to get them out.

“What are the flats like?” Ben asked, keen to keep her talking.

“Really nice. I mean, not like your place I’m sure but they’re still really nice. And they come with some furniture so I don’t need to get stuff and I can put posters up and bring as many crafts as I want.”

There was a truly bright smile on Rey’s face as she spoke, her eyes seeming to burn with enthusiasm and Ben felt utterly helpless, a slave to her smile.

“So, would you just do crafts all day?” He teased lightly, but Rey took him seriously.

“No, I’d do all sorts. This place offers a painting class once a week and I’d do that one. And there’s a library you can take the bus to that I’d be able to get books from. And I’d have a TV so I’d be able to watch the news and whatever TV shows I want.” She almost tripped over her words as she spoke and Ben felt his cheeks aching mysteriously. Without his consent a huge smile had taken over his face.

“Would you do things on your list?” He asked when he remembered how to move his face.

Rey seemed taken a back for a moment and the tiniest frown formed between her eyebrows.

“You remember about that?” She asked.

“Of course I do. Have you added to it?”

“Yeah! It’s got loads on it now. I’ve got so much I want to do I don’t really know where to start.”

“What kind of things?” Ben pressed on.

“Everything. I want to take the bus and walk somewhere alone and go to a museum and an art gallery and the opera.”

“The opera?” Ben said skeptically. Leia had forced him to go to one when he was little and honestly it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be.

“Sure. I want to get dressed all fancy and go there and listen to the beautiful music and see all the costumes.” Rey gushed, her little hands gesturing wildly as she wiggled in her seat from excitement.

“Would you want to go alone?” Ben asked suddenly, the words out of his mouth before he had even thought about them.

Rey seemed to malfunction, her eyes growing wide and her mouth opening and closing several times. Ben berated himself over and over again as she stayed silent, hating himself for ruining this moment. She had been so happy and comfortable talking about what she wanted to do and then he had to go and ruin it with his big mouth, sticking himself in where he wasn’t wanted.

“To the opera?” Her voice was so quiet Ben had to strain to hear it, his internal monologue nearly drowning it out.

“To anywhere. Anywhere of those places. Except the ones where you want to go alone, obviously.” Ben prattled on, his mouth and brain now actively working against each other.

The seconds crawled by as Rey sat there in silence thinking and Ben grew ore and more agitated. He wasn’t angry at her, he could never be angry at her, but he was so frustrated with himself. Why could he not have kept his mouth shut and appreciated a good thing in the moment, why did he have to push for more?

“Do you mean that?” Rey said, her voice breaking through the wall of anger around Ben.

“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t get in your way?” She asked, still hesitant.

“No. I enjoy being with you.” Ben felt his spirits creep up as she spoke, a bit of hope managing to make it’s way through his intense emotions.

“Ok then. Let’s, do things together.” Rey said, a teeny tiny smile on her face.

Ben answered with a ridiculously goofy smile of his own, his emotions swinging straight from absolute to despair to joy.

“Can you take me home now?” Rey asked and Ben immediately started driving them away from the assisted living and towards her house, both content to sit in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update? unheard of around here!  
> i hope this chapter was enjoyable and didnt feel too quick- turns out my main problem when writing is pacing  
> we r also kind of getting near some time skip moments but if thats not an idea ppl r very into please let me know  
> the slow burn is starting to burn i swear i promise theres romance here one day!!!


	42. Chapter 42

Rey had finally managed to stack peas all the way up one of the prongs of her fork but her spirts still didn’t seem to lift. Maz had been watching her all through lunch, growing more and more concerned as she picked at her food and hardly spoke. It had been like this ever since Rey had come back from seeing Ben yesterday and not even a proper Sunday roast dinner had cheered her up. She had perked up a bit when Maz presented her with a present (some wool and knitting needles) but even then her eyes had clouded over immediately.

Maz felt Chewie stir uneasily in his chair beside her as the conversation died again after Rey didn’t reply to his question. She placed a hand on his knee underneath the table, hoping to soothe his agitation.

“Rey? Sweetie? Is everything alright?” Maz asked gently.

At the sound of her mother’s voice Rey took a deep breathe and looked up at both her parents, her shoulders set in a grimly determined lined.

“Can I tell you both something?” She asked and Maz blinked in surprised, taken aback at how, how _afraid_ Rey sounded. Afraid of her own parents.

“OF course darling. Anything.” Maz said, her voice struggling to stay even.

“Will you promise to listen to me? Properly listen?” Rey begged and Maz tightened her grip on Chewie’s knee as she nodded.

“Yes. We promise.” Maz answered, speaking for both of them.

With a series of rapid blinks Rey set her fork down and spoke to her plate.

“I’m thinking about moving out.” She said and the kitchen floor opened up and swallowed Maz whole.

Maz wanted to laugh, to scoff at the mere _suggestion_ of Rey moving out. How would she manage? What did she know of the world? Her daughter had experienced cruelty that Maz could hardly fathom but that did not make her worldly or ready for life beyond their garden. Hell, some days Maz worried Rey couldn’t handle even the garden, she seemed almost afraid of going out there sometimes, choosing instead to wash dishes and stare at it through the window.

“What?” Maz murmured, suddenly finding it incredibly hard to keep her problem to Rey.

“There’s this place Mr. Malbus told me about. It’s like an assisted living facility that’s like twenty minutes away from here. I would live alone in a little flat but there would also be other people, like nurses and therapists there to help me. He works with some of the residents there.”

Next to her Maz felt Chewie tensing as Rey’s words sank in, a violent mix of emotions Maz couldn’t decipher surrounding him. For her part she just felt confused. It didn’t make sense to her, _why_ would Rey want to leave, how would she cope, what if something went wrong?

Rey seemed to have finished talking but Maz needed to know more, much _much_ more.

“Rey? Why do you want to do this?”

“I think,” Rey began and Maz watched as Rey tried to find the right words, fearing whatever the answer was. “I think it would help me.”

“How?” Chewie said through his teeth.

God, Maz wanted to strangle him. This was not a time for anger. There was never a time for anger around Rey.

“I’m used to being alone. I’m used to being independent and quiet and alone and being here is, overwhelming.” Maz felt her heart break anew at her daughter’s words.

_I’m used to being alone._

Maz had spent so much time thinking about Rey being in pain, being hurt and starved and treated cruelly. She had never considered Rey being alone and lonely. She had definitely not thought that would be the thing that seemed to affect Rey the most.

“Is, being at home making things worse for you?” Maz asked, trying to control her tears. No parent ever wanted their child to tell them their home was not where they wanted to be.

“No! No, not at all. It’s just, everything’s so different here.” Rey explained.

There was more that needed to be said but Maz wasn’t sure she was ready to hear more. Chewie definitely wasn’t, judging by the sound of his teeth grinding against each other.

“Can you at least think about it? About what things would be like if I did that?” Rey asked pleadingly and Maz nodded.

“Of course. Of course we will.” She said. Maz was pretty sure she would agree to anything if Rey asked for it. And what Rey was asking for was so simple.

As Rey got down from the table and excused herself to go into the garden Maz felt herself being to recover from the shock of what had just transpired. Sitting next to Chewie in stunned silence felt so familiar. After the shock of Rey never returning home from school had worn off they had spent so much time like this, trying to process this new life they had been forced into without their consent, left all alone to figure out how to navigate through life without their daughter, their focus.

Rey hadn’t been asking for permission, Maz realised as she watched her trip down the path to the overgrown part of the garden and out of sight. She had asked for them to listen to her and think about what she had said but not for their permission to move out. Part of Maz was so proud of Rey for not asking, for asserting herself and making a choice on her own, especially when Rey seemed so dazed most of the time. Most of Maz was preoccupied with everything that could go wrong if Rey moved out.

Who would hold her if she cried? What would happen if she panicked or had a breakdown? Who would she go to if she was hurt or needed help?

Sighing, Maz turned back to her lunch and pushed all these thoughts from her mind. They were not thoughts for this very moment, they were ones for later when she was able to think properly and really analyse this situation. The years had taught Maz that the best decisions were not made when you were in shock.

Without warning Chewie pushed the table back and stomped off to God knew where to wallow in anger. She knew where he was coming from, she understood it completely. But they both knew it wasn’t right to let Rey feel it when they were upset or angry. Especially when they were upset by a situation involving her.

Maz sat at the table alone trying to think of other things but each of her thoughts began and ended with Rey. Maybe every situation involved her at the end of the day.

-

It wasn’t until that night, when they had all spent a quiet evening watching TV and Rey had then gone to bed at her usual time that they finally got into it together.

When Chewie shut the bedroom door behind him the silence between the couple felt suffocating. There were many words that needed to be said but neither seemed to be able to start. Hesitantly Maz began to get ready for bed as both waited for the other to speak first. It wasn’t until she was almost ready, about to fall asleep with this hanging in the air between them when Chewie spoke.

“So, are we just going to pretend this is ok? Let her do this? Let her leave?” He said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his voice contained in their bedroom.

“No.” Maz replied, “but what’s there to say? She seems set on this. And I’m not going to deny her something she wants.” She argued, knowing Chewie shared this sentiment. In so many ways Rey had them wrapped around her little finger.

“Aren’t you? Someone should!” Chewie responded, more venom in his voice that Maz expected. To be truthful, it shocks her, the aggression behind his words. It’s almost too much.

She bristled at his words and the meaning she found behind them. It seemed so familiar and so insidious, this idea that they would not allow Rey to move out. That they would keep her as trapped as she had previously been. It reminded her far too much of what had happened and what Rey had only just managed to escape from.

“So you’re just going to tell her she has to stay here? That she’s not allowed to leave, even if she wants to?” Maz prodded. She knew she was treading a fine line but she refused to move from it.

“No!” Chewie exclaimed but Maz simply raised one eyebrow at him. “This is nothing like that!” He growled.

As he stepped into her space for the shortest of moments suddenly Maz felt afraid of her husband. He looked so gone, his eyes so dark and she could suddenly imagine so clearly what would happen if he ever came near Alistair Snoke. If Chewie ever got his hands on that man he would meet a vicious and sadistic end.

Maz was not a woman who cowered though and she faced him with as much passion as her husband, just as set on this as he was.

“Then what is it like Chewie? Because to me it looks like we’re controlling our daughter’s life! Our adult daughter!”

“She’s hardly an adult!” He bit back.

Both of them were panting now, the strain of having to keep their voices low getting to them. For years whenever they had fought they had been able to be as loud as they needed to, but now it was so vital they could not be heard.

“She’s 21. She’s experienced so much of life already. She knows what she wants, she knows herself and if this what she needs then I’m willing to stand by her as she does this.” Maz said, putting her foot down on this matter. She hadn’t been so behind Rey’s decision until she had heard it being actively denied but now she was adamant that Rey ought to be able to do this.

If Rey thought she needed this then Maz would help her achieve it, even if it frightened Maz to death.

Chewie sighed heavily and turned towards the wall separating them from Rey, running a hand through his hair for a moment.

“And what if something happens? If she panics one day, or has a nightmare? What if something frightens her or she gets overwhelmed or upset? What happens then, Maz? Who helps her?” He asked, his eyes still stuck on that wall.

“Do you really think, in seven years, she never once panicked or had a breakdown?” Maz asked, her voice wobbling. “I think she’s more than capable of taking care of herself, of calming herself down and recovering from whatever’s happened. Besides if she needs us, she can come home. It doesn’t have to be permanent.”

Something in Chewie seemed to give and he deflated in front of Maz, the fury holding him up rushing out of him, only to be replaced with fear.

He slumped down onto their bed and held his head in his hands, his next words muffled by his huge palms.

“I hate that therapist.” He muttered to himself and Maz sighed.

“Don’t blame the therapist for helping her.” She replied, her voice edged with bitterness.

“He’s putting ideas in her head.”

“That’s literally his job. He gives her ideas and ways for her to grow and recover.”

“No. He’s pushing her into doing things she’s not ready for.” He said, speaking with barely concealed jealousy.

Maz sighed, her patience with her husband wearing thin. Chewie was being jealous and petty and controlling and frankly she couldn’t stand it. She understood him, of course she did. Desperation and heartbreak would always change a person but that didn’t mean she could always support him.

“I fucking blame Solo too. Prick.” Chewie muttered darkly and Maz felt her patience snap.

“Jesus Christ, what does Ben have to do with this?” She asked aggressively.

“I’m sure he did something.”

Chewie got up as he spoke, his eyes resolutely dry, and began to get ready for bed, leaving Maz sitting there in disbelief.

She didn’t speak to him for a long time, not until she had calmed down enough to have a proper conversation that didn’t involve her cursing at her husband. It was just so, so _frustrating_ talking to him sometimes. They would go round in circles, blaming other people and getting worked up until one of them broke down. It kept them communicating and expressing their emotions but it didn’t help them move forward.

And that was all Maz wanted to do; move forward.

“Do you want my honest opinion?” Maz asked wearily. This conversation felt so familiar.

“Of course.” Chewie responded. 

“I don’t think Ben had anything to do with her making this decision. I do believe her therapist brought it up but honestly, truly I think Rey came to this decision _by herself.”_ Maz said, heavily emphasizing those last two words.

With a sigh she sank down further into the bed, all her energy suddenly taken from her. She listened to the sound of Chewie moving through the room, his anger still palpable but she paid him no real attention. No, her thoughts were far away from him as she was struck by a deep and heartbreaking realization. 

It wasn’t until her husband was sat beside her once again that she found the strength to speak.

“This was always going to happen. Always. One day she would grow up and want something more than her room in this house. And we have to respect that and support that.” Maz tried to say evenly, even as her eyes started to fill with tears.

Chewie just grunted in response, something Maz took as her cue to keep going.

“And even though we _both_ want her to stay here, where we can love her and look after her, if she wants to go out into the world we can’t stop her.”

They were both silent for a moment, the truth of her words hanging between them. University, a job, a boyfriend. These things were always going to appear in Rey’s life one day and take her away and they had to face it. Just because the situation was so different didn’t mean that the meaning behind it was. Their girl was growing up.

“It’s a big world Maz. And she’s so small.” Chewie said, quietly. His simple words caused all the tears Maz was trying to keep at bay to run down her cheeks but she couldn’t face wiping them away.

“I know. But she’ll always have us if she finds it too big. We can’t keep her from the doing this, not when she’s been denied so much for so long.”

Beside her Chewie suddenly broke out into violent sobbing with a force that shocked Maz. With her own tears soaking her face she reached out from him and let him rest his huge form on her, her little hands stroking his hair.

“I just… just don’t want her to go. Not when she’s been gone for so long. I want her here… our little girl.” He sobbed, each of his words broken by his heaving breathes and Maz felt herself shudder in response.

No. She didn’t want Rey to go anywhere either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: hugs, kisses and Rose.
> 
> uh oh i didnt update for ages   
> thats because i uhhhhhh didnt want to  
> in all honesty i really hated writing this chapter and feel like it isnt any good and that it doesnt convey what i want it to.  
> feedback would be really appreciated with regards to how u guys interpret characters and stuff like that  
> because im wiriting it and i have my ideas i cant really work out how things come accross to the reader  
> i hope anyone who celebrates christmas had a lovely time!!!!


	43. Chapter 43

“Oh my god, it’s so beautiful!” Rose gushed, her eyes glued to the pictures of the cliffside church Finn was showing her.

He felt a surge of smugness at hearing her compliment it, feeling the pride of making a good decision.

“And then after we get married there we’ll have pictures on the beach. Then the reception at my Uncle Luke’s house and in his garden.” Finn explained, showing Rose the photos he had taken of Luke’s house last time they were there.

“Will it be big enough?” She asked, looking at them intently.

“Yeah, I reckon so. Poe and I’ve pretty much finished the guest list and it’s not that big. Both got small families, y’know.”

“Finn it’s going to be so beautiful!” Rose exclaimed, her eyes getting a bit teary. She did love romance and weddings.

They were sitting at Finn’s kitchen table, all the wedding planning spread out before them. Even though he and Poe were planning on a summer wedding in nearly a years’ time they were hoping to get everything as sorted as soon as possible so that when the time got closer they wouldn’t be stressed.

Finn had finally managed to get everyone else out of the house and back to their jobs so that he could invite Rose around and talk things through, just the two of them. He and Poe were in charge of the wedding but Leia hadn’t quite seemed to get that message and so they had taken to discussing things late at night or when she was out.

“Do you see why we have to change the bridesmaid colours though? Dark red just won’t work for a beach setting.” Finn asked.

“Hmmm, yeah you’re right. Blue or green would probably be better. Gentler.”

“Would blue be too cliché? Y’know, summer wedding, at the beach, blue dresses?” Finn wondered out loud.

“Green then? A nice soft green. That shade that’s kind of grey and blue?” Rose suggested.

“That could work. You and Kaydel and Rey would look lovely in it.” Finn said. He could imagine it, the three bridesmaids in lovely green dressed, one with blonde hair, one with brown hair, one with black hair.

“How is Rey?” Rose asked as she pushed the mood board about a little bit, feigning relaxation.

Finn chuckled humourlessly as he tried to answer. Everyone he spoke to these days asked him that question and every time he had no idea how to answer it. It was easier to talk to Rose though, she had listened to him open up for years with patience and sympathy.

“I don’t really know. She seems fine y’know, but I can’t work out if that’s like, real. Sometimes I worry she’s just really good at pretending to be ok and that she actually hates hanging out with me and just wants to be back home.”

“Does she talk to you? Reach out and ask how your day was?” Rose asked gently, her warm eyes full of reassurance.

“Yeah. We text like every day.”

“Then I’m pretty sure she doesn’t hate you. I don’t think she’d do that if she did.”

Finn smiled at Rose’s words. Somehow, she always knew what to say to make him feel better.

“She’s moving out at some point. To her own place.” Finn said proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can we all hang out there? Not have to come here or try and fit in my little student room.” Rose asked, but Finn was unsure.

“I don’t know. I think one of her reasons for wanting to leave is to be alone more.”

Rose’s face fell and Finn quickly scrambled to reassure her. He knew she had nothing but the purest intentions and he hated seeing her crestfallen.

“We’ll definitely hang out with her though. Invite her over and go out for drinks and stuff.”

“D’you think she’s free now? To help with wedding planning? Someone has to try and control your ideas.”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with my ideas!” Finn replied, shocked by her words.

“You literally said you wanted prawns to be the only available food but go off.” Rose replied.

“Prawns are delicious and nutritious.” Finn said in all seriousness. His love of seafood was a hill he would willingly die on.

“And variety is important for events with lots of guests. Now text Rey.” Rose ordered and Finn sighed dramatically, admitting defeat.

Finn followed Rose’s orders like a soldier followed his general and managed to invite Rey over, after a lot of reassurance that _yes Rose wanted her there too_ and _yes it was totally ok to come in a couple minutes._

He sat at the table bickering with Rose about flowers and whether Kaydel and Snap were actually going to last forever straining his ears listening for a knock at the front door. So it took him totally by surprise when Rey appeared at the kitchen door, illuminated by the early autumn sun and in a giant knitted scarf.

“Rey!” He greeted her, leaping up from the table to pull her into a light hug. She welcomed him with warm arms and his heart swelled for a moment as they held each other loosely. Part of him missed the bone crushing hugs they used to give each other but he would happily settled for this any day of the week.

“How’d you get in here?” He asked once he’d set her back down.

“Climbed over the fence. Hey, Rose.” Rey answered, her hand emerging from the depths of her cardigan to wave at Rose.

“Hey. How’re you?” Rose asked as Finn ushered Rey into a kitchen chair and produced a cup of tea from thin air for her.

“Good. Bit toasty in here.” Rey said as she began shedding layers.

“You would be, wrapped up in all that. It’s not even September yet, why’re you dressed for the middle of winter?” Finn asked, finding more tea for himself and Rose too.

“Mum put me in it. The doctors said to be careful about getting a cold because of my immune system, so now the central heating is always on and if she knows I’m going out I have to be in all of this.”

Finn’s cheery attitude suffered slightly at Rey’s words. He had never considered that her immune system would have been weakened by not being exposed to anything for so long but once he thought about it, it was so obvious. He hated it.

Seeming oblivious his change in mood Rey turned to Rose.

“How’re you?” She asked Rose politely, taking a sip and eyeing the flower mood board warily. 

“Oh God, don’t ask her.” Finn muttered, but it was too late.

“Oh Rey, I don’t think I’ve ever been better.” Rose gushed.

“Really? That’s good.” Rey said weakly. Rose was definitely one for expressing her emotions rather than suppressing them. “Has anything happened?” She asked and Finn groaned.

“You shouldn’t have asked!” He declared and Rose swatted his arm playfully.

“Why not?” Rey asked, her eyes full of genuine confusion.

“He’s being silly.” Rose said affectionately, then in more hushed tones she leant towards Rey and whispered her news dramatically. “I _met_ someone.”

“Oh. That’s lovely.” Rey said somewhat weakly and Finn sympathized with her.

Rose was truly and utterly wonderful, but sometimes she could be rather a lot to handle, especially when you weren’t used to her.

“Isn’t it. I really think he could be the one y’know. He didn’t find it weird at all when I told him about my wedding Pinterest page on the second date. If anything he seemed even more into me when I told him.” Rose said and Finn rolled his eyes.

Movement from next to him caught Finn’s attention as Rey shifted in her seat uncomfortably, but before he could jump in and change the subject she spoke.

“What’s his name?” She asked lightly.

“Armitage Hux. But I call him Armie.” Rose answered. Finn thought it was a fucking ridiculous name but Rose had gushed to him when they had matched on Tinder about how _sophisticated_ and _elegant_ it was. Then again Finn didn’t really have a leg to stand on; his boyfriend was called Poe.

“Oh, Ben has a friend called Hux.” Rey replied, almost smiling.

“Ben has friends?” Finn asked skeptically. Surely if Ben had friends he wouldn’t have spent months living in the basement, hardly speaking to anyone.

“Well, he has Hux. And me.” Rey answered with a genuine smile in her eyes.

“I didn’t know you and Ben were friends.” Rose asked, sharing a look with Finn.

Rose hardly knew Ben, Finn was pretty sure they had only seen each other in passing a few times ever since Ben had come home, but she had heard many a story from Finn about him and developed a deep dislike for him. She loved Finn with a protective fierceness and couldn’t stand the idea that Finn had been hurt by his brother, even if Ben hadn’t meant to. He supposed it was rather like the way Poe felt about Ben; disliking him for what he had done to Finn, not to them.

“Mmhm.” Rey nodded as she eyed the flowers. “I thought you decided that you would have peonies on the tables?” Rey asked.

Finn let Rose reply, his mind still turning over the concept of Ben and Rey being friends in his head. It was just, he couldn’t imagine it. Sure, when they had been staying at Luke’s he had seen them talking to each other, even going a walk together one day; but he had thought that was simply due to the circumstances, not because they were _friends._

_What did they even have in common?_

Ben was big and awkward and angry, always turning himself inward and away from people, choosing solitude and abrasion over connection. While Rey was bright and sunny and subdued, her eyes always turned to the way the sunlight poured in through the windows and her cheeks flushed from the breeze.

The sound of Rose chatting quickly pulled him back to the present. He couldn't forget about this though, and tucked that information away for later.

“Ah. They changed their minds. It turns out they’re really expensive and they aren’t really looking to drain their entire back account for the wedding.”

“Oh. Right.”

“So now we can start looking all over again!” Rose clapped her hands and declared joyfully, not at all perturbed by the flower set back.

“God, it’s so much planning.” Rey said nervously, looking over all the sheets covering the table, receipts and mood boards mixed with booking confirmations and guest lists.

“Yeah, we probably should’ve just hired a wedding planner.” Finn said regretfully.

“Absolutely not! That spoils the fun. And then what would I do?”

“Actually attend your uni classes?” Finn asked sarcastically. He didn’t know how Rose did it. She was like the best friend character in all those rom coms, always available at the drop of the hat like her life revolved around him. But somehow she managed to also be top of her classes and go on dates with what felt like every man in the city.

“You’re at uni?” Rey asked, drinking her tea and avoiding Rose’s eyes.

“Yeah, for medicine. I’m hoping to become a paramedic.” Rose answered with pride.

“Wow. That’s amazing.” Rey replied, somewhat distantly.

“So, what do you think of green bridesmaid dresses?”

Conversation flowed easily between them all, cups of tea and all of Leia’s biscuits disappearing as quickly as they were produced and Finn saw what he prayed was the start of a happy friendship. Rose had been a rock by his side after Rey’s disappearance had torn his heart out. He wasn’t sure how he would’ve been able weather the storm without her.

Rose was describing to Rey the exact sharpness of Armitage’s cheekbones when the front door opened and Poe sauntered into the kitchen, quickly dumping his work bag on the counter and appoarching Finn.

“Hi babe.” He said as he leant down to quickly kiss Finn before turning to survey the table.

As he turned from his fiancé Finn caught Rey staring at them, an entirely unfathomable expression on her face. He could not decipher it, their seemed to be hints of every emotion gracing her, all mixed together to form something that unsettled Finn.

Poe disappeared as quickly as he arrived, leaving the kitchen with a cuppa and a colossal sandwich, muttering something about having a shower and Finn preyed Rose wouldn’t make one of her dirty jokes about it. No one needed that mental image.

Mercifully, Rose took herself away swiftly after, apparently needing to get ready to see _Armie_ again. Finn could imagine the hours of fun he would have making fun of that name. It left him with Rey who said she would go back through their gardens.

He walked with Rey into the back garden so she could climb back over. There was something on his mind however and he paused, trying to put his thoughts into words.

“Rey.” He began seriously and she frowned warily at his tone.

“Yeah?”

“Look, I don’t wanna tell you how to live. But you should know, Ben he’s-”

“Are you going to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with?” She cut in. Rey’s eyes were hard in a way Finn hadn’t seen before. “Because I wouldn’t do that to you and I don’t think you should do that to me either.”

Rey looked like her spine had been replaced with steel as she held herself rigidly in front of him. Finn exhaled loudly, trying to get his words straight in his head.

“No. Look, I’m trying to tell you about Ben. I don’t know what he’s like with you, but he’s not exactly the best around other people. I’ve seen him shout, throw things, punch a punching bag until his knuckles bleed, hate people for no reason. I’ve seen him be violent.” Finn shuddered at the memory of his older brother shoving him into the cupboards less than a month ago.

Rey blinked rapidly as he spoke, still holding herself so straight and tall, their eyes meeting perfectly. He could almost watch her process this information, his words sinking in.

“I’m not saying to not see him or anything, I’m really not. I just, want you to know. That’s all, I promise.” He said, not trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

“Thank you.” Rey murmured in reply. Still, she turned away from him and climbed over the fence with perfect ease, her loose trousers not bothering her in the slightest.

For a moment Finn feared she was just going to walk away from him and into her house but instead she paused and turned back, shoving her hands deep down into her pockets.

“Can I come over again? To see Rose too?” She asked nervously and Finn slumped in relief.

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll text you. Or she will.” He babbled.

“Ok.” Rey replied gently and waved at him as she walked through her kitchen door.

Finn stood as still as a statue for a long while, replaying their conversation over and over again. Maybe he could’ve said it better, been more discreet and tactful so as to not upset her. There was nothing he hated more than the idea of hurting Rey and causing her to cut him off. But he also didn’t want to her to think Ben was just some misunderstood, big brooding lawyer with a permanent frown. Not when he had seen Ben shouting at his parents, not when he had heard Ben throwing his belonging around the basement. And definitely not when he himself had been shoved by Ben. Finn would never forgive himself if he left Rey in the dark about Ben’s worse parts,

With a sigh Finn cracked his knuckles and walked back in his house, the autumn chill in the air forcing him inside and away from those thoughts.

-

Frustrated, Mon Mothma dropped the page she was reading onto the desk without ceremony, letting it join all the others lying there abandoned.

She just couldn’t understand it.

_Why did he plead not guilty?_

There was just no argument she could see that the defense could make to get Snoke off the charges. Everything had been covered; from Rey’s identification and testimonies to DNA on the clothing she had been wearing the day she had escaped and documents showing that Snoke owned the house she had been kept in. Hell, he was a fucking criminal defense lawyer, there was no way anyone could argue that he didn’t know that this was illegal or that he no longer understood the concept of right or wrong.

No, Alistair Snoke had beyond a shadow of a doubt committed this crime and there wasn’t a way that she could think of for him to argue against this. 

With a sigh she turned back to her computer, where the outline of her case was beginning to take shape. Currently it was only two timelines and a list of witnesses she would call on but still, it was definitely a good start.

There was someone not on that list though. Rey.

Mon Mothma reached for a copy of Rey’s diaries and began to read it at random, hoping for some insight into Alistair Snoke. They were strange things to read and without fail set her on edge. Rey could write pages and pages about the most mundane daily activities then suddenly write intensely eloquently about the nature of good and evil before disappearing for days.

In her interviews with the police Rye had mentioned having “gone” days where she would give in to the tiredness and simply lie in her bed, hardly even breathing, entirely numb to the world around her. Mon Mothma supposed it was a coping mechanism.

Carefully adding the diary to the untidy pile she reached for her phone and dialed an unfamiliar number. A gruff grunt greeted her when her call was answered.

“Hello, is this the Kanata household?”

“Whose asking?” The man replied and Mon Mothma smiled to herself. She had never met Chewbacca Kanata in person but all the stories she had heard about him painted him as a gruff, angry and fiercely protective man. She was rather curious to see him in person.

“I’m Mon Mothma, chief prosecutor for the. I’m the lead prosecutor for the case of Alistair Snoke versus the crown. I was wondering if I could set up and appointment to see you and your family, to make arrangements for the upcoming court date and to help explain the next few weeks to you?”

“You want to see Rey?” Mr. Kanata replied curtly and Mon Mothma had to hold in a sigh. If that was all he took away from what she had just said, maybe she shouldn’t be looking forward to this.

“As well as you and your wife. I’d like you all to come so we can all approach this trial and events surrounding it well informed and confident, whilst also making sure you and your family be supported.”

“Will she need to testify in court?” He asked, once again ignoring her words.

“At the present we are not planning to ask Miss Kanata to speak in court, either as a witness or through a testimony, although her police interviews will be played. Of course if she wishes to we would not deny her request, but we are not currently planning to do that.”

“Where’s this office then?” Mr. Kanata asked and Mon Mothma relaxed in her chair minutely. Perhaps now he knew his daughter wouldn’t be cross examined then he would be more polite.

She quickly rattled their address off before setting an appointment for the next day. In her opinion it was always good to get these things done quickly. So many victim’s families knew nothing of the law or trials and this first meeting would be crucial to providing the Kanata’s peace of mind, to help them feel secure during this time.

“We have a lawyer that helps represent us. Should we contact him about this?” Mr. Kanata asked.

“Yes. Could you also pass their details onto us.” She asked and her eyebrows shot up to her hairline at hearing the firms name. It was common knowledge that the Kanata (and Solo) family had money, but she hadn’t been prepared for them to have _that_ much money.

When it had all been agreed Mr. Kanata promptly hung up without a greeting, just an assurance they would come. Mon Mothma knew getting the family to trust law enforcement again would prove difficult but she had not been adequately prepared for just how brusque this man was. She could only hope his wife and daughter would prove more charming and pleasant to work with.

And she certainly hoped to work with his daughter. Rey had known Snoke for seven years, she was their best hope at getting an understanding of the man and being able to present the strongest possible case of his guilt. Snoke appeared to have no real friends, only close business associates and employees, all of whom painted a picture of a ruthless, driven man, unpleasant to work under but willing to fawn on those more important.

Rey’s diaries were full of speculations surrounding her kidnapper, some of them correct, some wildly inaccurate. She sometimes debated if Snoke was someone with a very menial, low paid job who felt like he lacked power in the world and so needed her to make himself important. But then she sometimes wondered if he was important and couldn’t bare the thought of having an equal partner, instead wanting someone who depended on her.

It was fascinating to read and Mon Mothma only hoped that Rey would be so forthcoming in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Ben. 
> 
> Ooops no update since christmas!  
> the uk is currently in another lockdown and ive been furloughed from my job again but idk if this will gve me more time to write or just really demotivate me.   
> i hope this was a good update after so very long!!
> 
> if anyone has any questions abt the fic please let me know! i wont answer if i think it would be a spoiler but i dont want anyone feeling lost or like they dont understand whats going on!  
> also i wasnt sure about referring to Mon Mothma as Mon or Ms. Mothma. If anyone has any ideas about other ways to address her other than her full name please let me know


	44. Chapter 44

Ben had never thought of himself as a social person. In fact, pretty much the opposite was true, he had spent most of his life without any real forms of friendship. He just, couldn’t really do it. He worked better alone and since so much of his life had been dominated by working in some way there had never been any reason to make friends.

Somehow though, all of that had changed.

Ever since that day he had eaten lunch with Hux they had ended up in a different café every day, eating with each other. Without Snoke breathing down their necks and putting them on edge Ben found that Hux had a dry, sarcastic sense of humour and could talk for days about his girlfriend. It would have been sweet if it hadn’t made Ben feel oddly sour.

Phasma and Mitaka were quickly becoming more like friends than colleagues to him, even joining him and Hux for lunch one day and a heated debate quickly ignited between them all about the pros and cons of using 25 line paper in legal filings. Lawyers could be like that.

He was even talking to his family occasionally. Well, he was texting Finn every now and then but still, that counted.

What was truly surprising to Ben however was how he suddenly wanted to spend so much of his time with Rey. Ever since she had mentioned wanting to do things with him, be out in the world together it had become all Ben could think about. Every time Hux took him somewhere new for lunch Ben wrote the café name down in his phone in case it was somewhere Rey fancied going. He was even looking up reviews of art galleries and museums and theatre shows, trying to find places that sounded suitable for her.

More than once he nearly invited her over to his home to see all the furniture she had helped him choose in it’s rightful place. To his inexperienced eyes it was a really rather lovely home, one he wanted to show off to her.

But that felt like an invasion of the invisible barriers Rey put up between her in the world and the last thing Ben wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

So instead he contented himself with learning the names of his coworkers and trying to subtly ask Finn how Rey was doing.

For the first time in years Ben felt finally contented with his life. He enjoyed his job, relishing in helping other people and having his skills recognised rather than getting criminals out of prison and being put down at every turn no matter how successful he was at his work. There were other people’s phone numbers saved to his contact list and peopled greeted him when he arrived at the office in the morning.

Once he had even looked up therapy.

But only once.

Rey’s words, said while she stood in the sun on the cliffside, hair being blown about by the wind and eyes bright, echoed in his head. He had never realised how little he spoke, how for so long there had been no one for him to talk to about the things he felt inside himself. He had never realised just how wrong things had been for him, both in his old life and in his time at his parents, until they changed and things began to look brighter.

Sleep deprivation and intense workouts were not good ways to work through the rage inside him.

He hadn’t followed through with it though. There was nothing he felt he could talk to a therapist about yet. Rey could probably talk and talk and talk about all the hell she had been put through by that bastard but Ben couldn’t imagine being able to open up to a stranger yet.

But maybe that would come when he felt more settled in his new life. Maybe when he had taken Rey to a few more of her therapy sessions.

As he waited for his coffee to brew and his eggs to cook Ben checked the news for new stories on Snoke. Everyday there seemed to be some new revelation, some new breakthrough and it had become a habit for Ben to check it all as he made his breakfast and got ready for work.

Every story seemed worst than the last and Ben found it difficult to believe some of them. Some stories were so embellished that he could hardly make out the actual facts of the case within them. As if what had happened wasn’t gruesome enough and needed to be made even worse.

He was featured in nearly every story. The only picture of Rey and her thin legs peaking out from his jacket as it covered her head had him in it too as he helped her home. Sometimes Ben could swear there were people who recognised him when he went out.

Rey’s identity remained a secret however and Ben was relieved every morning when he checked and saw it hadn’t been revealed.

There was still no date set yet for the trial and Ben was on edge about it. In truth, he wanted the whole ordeal over and done with so Rey could move on, safe in the knowledge that Snoke was locked away and could never hurt her again. He knew that she wanted to move out after things were all finished, but not before then. She was currently working on persuading her parents to visit the assisted living facility so they could see what a good place it would be for her.

Ben understood why her parents would be so hesitant to let her leave but privately he hoped she would be allowed to. It would make getting to see her so much easier

-

Rey was gripping his hand so tightly Chewie was certain the blood circulation in his fingers was going to be cut off. Ever since they had got out of the car at the lawyers office she had been clinging onto him desperately, her shoulders hunched over.

They trailed behind Maz as she marched into the building and up to Mon Mothma’s office like she had been there a thousand times, knocking on her door so loudly Chewie was sure everyone else around them could hear. As quickly as Maz had knocked the door opened, a tall woman with short hair in a white suit eyeing them all suspiciously for just a moment before breaking out into a welcoming smile.

Something about her remined him of Leia and he relaxed minutely.

“Mon Mothma, lead prosecutor. I’m very pleased to meet you.” She said, shaking Maz’s hand enthusiastically. She reached for Chewie after releasing Maz and he shook her hand whilst still gripping onto Rey.

“You must be Rey.” She said with a smile and offered her hand to Rey as well.

Instead of taking it Rey stepped back slightly, her grip on her father never wavering.

Mothma didn’t look surprised at Rey’s response however and simply ushered them into her office, offering them seats and drinks and open windows. Every wall in her room seemed to be covered in files or books and several boxes were stacked in the corner, the labels on them covered by stickers. More files sat on her desk and she opened one up as she settled into her chair across from them, leaning back in her chair once they were settled, her gaze never lingering on Rey for too long.

Chewie had met many lawyers over the years and had been in many of their offices but there was something different about Mothma compared to the others. She clearly had a backbone of absolute steel hidden under her suit and a tongue that was as sharp as a whip. It wasn’t hard to wonder how she became the most important criminal lawyer in the country.

“So, I wanted to meet with you all just to explain a little bit about what’s going to happen with regards to the legal situation. What’s going on, what you need to do, how long it’ll last… all that business.” She began but Chewie cut in almost immediately.

Logically, he knew this was important. He hated to be left in the dark and this trial would be one of the most important things that would happen in his Rey’s life, but that didn’t stop him from resenting the fact they had been taken away from their home somewhere where people might see Rey and make her uncomfortable.

“What do we need to do?” He asked brusquely, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

If Mothma felt irritated at his interruption she didn’t show it.

“In short, Mr. Kanata, absolutely nothing. But we will get to that.” She answered as she pulled a piece of paper from her open folder and slid it across the table to them.

“This is all the most relevant information you need at the moment along with all the contact information. Any questions or problems either contact your lawyer who will contact us or call my assistant directly.”

“Next week, on Wednesday the first hearing for the case of Alistair Snoke versus the state will begin. In this hearing he will plead either guilty or not guilty and then both sides will lay out their arguments. Over the following days we will present evidence, talk to witnesses, and argue why he is either guilty or not guilty. Then, the jury will go away and deliberate for however long they need to. If he is found guilty the judge will sentence him and he will go to prison, if he is found not guilty he will go free.” She explained.

At her words Rey’s nails started to dig into Chewie’s hand, but he could not tell whether she seemed more affected by the mention of Snoke going to prison or going free.

“When you say witnesses, will Rey be one?” Maz asked and Chewie’s attention snapped straight back to the conversation.

Although they had not discussed it with Rey he knew both himself and Maz would be happier with Rey not having to go to court and face Snoke. They would not fight her if she did want to though.

“That’s entirely up to Rey.” Mothma replied and Chewie relaxed fractionally. If they had said she needed to he probably would have blown up right there in the office.

“There are four basic options for you Rey. If you want to be a witness you can ether come into court as a witness and get questioned by both sides and have to face everyone, or talk via video where you can be in a sperate room and only see the lawyer but you still get questioned. You could also write a statement and read that out in court in front of everyone but not be questioned or stay at home and have someone else read it for you.”

In truth, Chewie wasn’t sure he liked any of those options. He didn’t want Rey to give a single moment of her time to that monster.

“Is there any other choice?” Maz asked, clearly on the same page as him.

“Of course. There’s no requirement for any of you to come to the trial at any point. If you want to stay at home the whole time, that’s completely fine. I’m confident that we have more than enough evidence to prosecute Mr. Snoke without Rey’s testimony.”

“If you have so much evidence, why has he pled guilty?” Chewie said and Mothma sighed, her steel spine slumping minutely.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She said, throwing her hands up in the air a little bit. “No defendant is required to plead in any direction, it’s completely up to them. Sometimes they do it for attention, or to hurt people or because they don’t realise just how much there is against them.” Mothma explain, her eyes suddenly focused on Rey in a way that made Chewie bristle.

Rey stayed firmly quiet, her little fingers now playing with his hand as it rested in her lap and her gaze firmly trained on the paper in front of them. For a moment he wondered if she was even listening to them anymore or if she had gone somewhere else in her head. He found it so difficult to tell, there were times he was certain she was far away but had been paying attention the whole time and sometimes she truly gone.

“Is there anything else to discuss?” Maz asked, already tucking away the information into her handbag and making ready to leave.

“No, that’s all there is. If we need to contact you at all either myself or my assistant will call. And if you have any questions either call us or your lawyer.” Mothma said, seeming almost flustered by their quick exit.

Before she had even finished speaking they were out the door and heading back down to the car, both Maz and Chewie itching to get home. They were sure that no one would bother them here but being outside with Rey still made them uncomfortable. Both of them well clearly recognizable as Mr. and Mrs. Kanata, the parents of that missing girl and despite the years and the changes to her appearance Rey was still clearly their daughter. Their daughter who had had made it clear to them in the past she didn’t want people knowing what she looked like yet.

Chewie didn’t relax until they were in the car and heading home, checking every once in a while that Rey was still buckled in the back. No matter how many days passed he still found himself having to check, to make sure she was home and that this hadn’t been some fevered dream. But she was still there and her kidnapper was still in jail.

“I don’t want to see him.” Rey said suddenly, her quiet voice breaking the silence suddenly.

Chewie and Maz shared a look between them before he glanced back at her.

“You don’t have to decide yet, honey.” Maz reassured her, echoing Chewie’s own feelings. “There’s a lot of time to think about it.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. I don’t want to.” Rey said, her tone quiet but firm in the way Chewie knew meant she was not going to change her mind anytime soon.

It was the same tone of voice she used to talk about leaving to go live on her own. Something he still didn’t want to discuss.

They returned home in silence and Rey went up to her bedroom, leaving both of her parents at the bottom of the stairs.

“What did she mean, she’s had a lot of time to think about it?” Maz asked as Chewie headed to the garage, hoping to be alone.

“She had seven years to think about it.” Chewie replied, trying and failing to not think about how long those seven years had been.

-

When his phone went off Ben was more than happy to drop everything he was working on to answer it. Sure, working for different charities was a good thing to do and it was interesting to look at all the different aspects of the law, but there was a reason he had become a criminal lawyer not a corporate lawyer. It was fucking boring.

He was even happier to answer it when he saw Rey’s name on his screen, accompanied by the little flower emoji next to it. He had deliberately chosen _not_ to think about why he had done that.

_can i ask u something_

_its about law n stuff_

_Of course. Is this related to the trial?_

Snoke’s upcoming trial was all over the news although Ben didn’t know if a date had been chosen yet. Although if one had been Rey would know before him.

_yh_

_we had a meeting today with the prosecutor_

_How was it?_

_good_

_shes scary_

Ben chuckled at Rey’s assessment of Mon Mothma. Scary was definitely how he would describe her too. She was just so, stern and imposing and totally in control of the room at any moment. He was glad she was the person leading the trial and going against Sheev Palpatine.

_What do you need my help with?_

Ben’s chest puffed out slightly as he sat back in his chair to text Rey. The idea of her needing his help was appealing to him, it made him feel big and important, like when she had hidden behind him in the furniture shops.

_well_

_mothma said i can choose if i talk in court or not_

_and i was wondering if it would help if I did_

_like help find him guilty_

_Do you want to testify in court?_

_no_

Ben cursed his large fingers as he struggled to type, eventually giving up and asking Rey if he could call her instead. He made sure the door to his office was locked before he did, not wanting someone to walk in and hear her.

As he waited for her to pick up the phone Ben’s heart hammered in his chest, suddenly doubting his ability to help her.

“ _Ben?”_ Rey asked, her voice thin and high and immediately worrying him.

“Hi, yeah, it’s me. Is everything ok?”

“ _Yeah, everything’s fine. I just, y’know. You’re a lawyer and I thought you could help.”_ Rey replied her voice still higher than normal.

It was all Ben could do to put it down to nerves about the trial and do his best to reassure her. Settling himself in his chair Ben tried to slip into lawyer mode and treat her like a client her was advising, but he found he couldn’t do it. This was _Rey_ , with her flowery dresses and hazel eyes, not just some random person who had hired him for help.

“Did Mothma explain to you your option for testifying at the trial?” He asked gently.

“ _Yes.”_ Rey replied and he could picture her nodding.

“Do any of them sound like something you want to do? Any at all?”

“ _No. I don’t want to have anything to do with it at all.”_

“Well, then that’s it. They can’t force you to say a statement or testify at all, not if you don’t want to. It’s your decision and they can’t change it.” Ben said, emphasizing those final two points.

“ _Ok. Ok. Good. It’s just…”_ Rey began but her voice trailed off as she spoke.

“Rey? You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Ben reassured her, begin to worry about where this was all heading.

“ _No it’s not that. It’s just, Mothma said they didn’t need me to testify. She said she was confident they had enough evidence without me. But… would it help? Would it help convince people if I did talk at the trial?”_ Rey said, almost tripping over her words as she rushed to get them out.

Ben nodded to himself as she spoke, the pieces all falling into place around him. He sat up in his chair, resting his arms on the table as he spoke with carefully considered words.

“Honestly Rey? It would probably help the jury to find him guilty if you did testify. But that does _not_ mean that you should if you don’t want to. If Mothma thinks there is enough evidence without you having to do that, then there will be. The prosecution will show there is DNA evidence you were in his home, they’ll show pictures of the basement you were in and they’ll show pictures and interviews with you. That’s a lot of proof that the defense will find it hard to argue against. If you want to stay at home and ignore the whole thing, it won’t mean that Snoke will go free.” Ben answered evenly, even as he shivered at the thought of Snoke released back into the world.

“ _They’ll show pictures of me?”_ Rey asked, sounding alarmed.

“Just to the jury. No one else will see what you look like.” Ben said quickly.

“ _Ok. I’m ok with that.”_ Rey said more to herself than Ben.

Ben fidgeted in his seat for a moment, hoping Rey would say something more and keep their conversation going.

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” He prodded gently.

“ _No, just that.”_

“If you have any questions about anything Rey, please ask me. And tell me if Mothma bothers you about anything.” Ben said, already ready to fight anyone to protect Rey’s decisions.

“ _I will. Thank you, Ben.”_

Ben hung up with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! sorry for not updating for over a month!! i simply did not want to and i hope thats ok with u all!!!  
> hopefully this chapter was not boring despite all the legal stuff- it has to happen unfortunately, snoke cant be allowed loose out there, y'know.
> 
> if u are interested i wrote a one shot from rey's pov set during the time of her captivity  
> its very short but i enjoyed writing it and i might even write more depending if the mood strikes me- its not under the reylo tag but it is in my works  
> the tags are there as a warning- there are no rape or assault scenes but it is implied so i wanted to be careful

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you notice any problems in this- I am British so will use British spelling although this is vaguely set in America.  
> hope u enjoyed :)


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